For Laughs and laughs and others in "mixed" marriages.

[kima]

I noted on another post (Gertdog if you are reading this check the thread about smoked gouda!!) that Laughsand laughs said her husband is vegetarian and she is not. Both my husband and I are vegetarians ( we will occasionally have turkey but probably only three or four times a year) and so is our youngest daughter. Our oldest daughter is a confirmed carnivore and that is fine with me. It as actually motivated her to learn how to cook. When she was little she ate mostly vegetarian meals unless we were out for dinner. We never pushed her to go veggie as I feel that is a very personal decision and I believe guilt about food is very unhealthy.
Anyway I would love to hear how those of you with veggies and meateaters in the family deal with the situation.

[CheerLiz]

Hi Kima!

I'm definitely in a mixed marraige -- I'm the confirmed veggie and my husband is a meat lover. When I first met him, he was averse to any vegetable except limp boiled canned peas, beans, and carrots. YUK.

He doesn't cook -- doesn't even know how to turn the toaster over on -- so I'm in charge of dinners and lunches. (We rarely eat dinner together during the week). I cook on Sundays -- soups, salads, etc -- only stuff that can be packed into lunches during the week.

I cook vegetarian. I don't buy, prepare, handle, or store meat in the kitchen. Not that I'm a militant vegetarian; it's just that neither one of us cooks it. Sometimes my mom will give him leftover turkey or steak that he'll reheat, but that's as close as we get.

If he's in the mood for meat, we either go out to dinner or he eats lunch at the local deli. He's gotten very good about it, and has learned to love black beans and lentils. I just learned what flavors he likes (tomaotes and vinegar -- not necessarily together) and I try to cook a lot with those two flavors.

Anyway -- long answer to a short question. I'm off to bed! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[CheerLiz]

Ooh! I just noticed I'm a member! Yeehah!!

[SoCal]

Yes gertdog, if you are reading this please immediately go to the 'I think I'm becoming a food snob' post. Hint: SMOKEY WHITE BEAN SOUP.....TIA!

[Chefmom]

OH, my am I am member BIG TIME. I was primarily raised by my Vegetarian Grandmother and I just never had a taste for meat. Yet, I have always been anemic because I also never liked the beans and cheeses that I needed to "make up" for little to no meat. I have learned that I like a little meat to flavor the veggies, and I LOVE onions to kill the "beefy" taste of burgers. To me a meal is NOT a plop of beef on the plate with a carrot on the side for some color.

Ah, now me, the Chef, the adult, and the wife. My husband was raised in a family who celebrates meat. For all of them, dinner is beef, with a side of beef and maybe some potatoes to sop up the beef juices. None of those nasty veggies to get in your way. When I sat down to the first Thanksgiving with them I was SHOCKED that there was not one vegetable on the table. Unless you count the Great Aunts cole slaw (which everyone only nibbles on to be polite). I let it slip out of my mouth..."Where's the corn?" and they all looked at me like I was nuts. The next year someone did make a TINY bowl of corn, just for me.

But, cooking for both of us drives me nuts sometimes. We go out and he acts like he is sooooo adventurous, but at home he moans and complains if he goes without his meat for more than a day. I have tricked him though. He loves fish, all ways (just about) and so I serve more fish, subtly cutting down on the meat consumption.

The biggest problem I face is the fact that a "full stomach" from eating beef feels totally different than a full stomach from anything else. He has trained himself that the "beef full" is the only full, and if he eats ANYTHING else he complains that he is hungry minutes after finishing. Now my husband can eat. I always cook for 6 just to feed him, me, my daughter, and maybe a leftover or two. Because of this he tends to be a "meat and potatoes" guy. Now before you all tell me that I am cooking him to death, let me tell you, he is 6'5" and barely has a touch of excess middle. He just eats! I guess it's been this way since he was a young teen. His mother once told me that she was so happy when we married and he left the house, it gave her an extra $100 a week from the grocery bill!!!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif

Cooking isn't easy, I tend to cook my favorite foods for my daughter and I for lunch. Light, rice based foods that usually are vegetarian as well. I save the heavier meals for dinner when he is home, and I am not so hungry from a large lunch and only eat a little.

Some other "wrenches" thrown in are his "fussie parts", no tomatoes, and if I use any tomatoes they must be pureed (no chunks!), no peppers, no large chunks of semi-crunchy veggies. He doesn't like asparagus, or other "weird" things. So, naturally all my best cooking is for lunch and I enjoy it, not him!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Oh well, you've got to love him!!

Tami

[crlykat]

I am a mostly vegetarian (I eat fish about once every two months, although even that is beginning to bother me) and my hubby is a meat-eater. He is Hungarian, from Translyvania, and his culture is heavy on the meats and most life celebrations have lots of special meat dishes. Luckily he has been here long enough so that he does not feel the need to eat meat at every meal anymore.

I have learned to not gag with disgust when handling dead chickens and cuts of beef that I cook for him. He has learned how to cook Veggie, beginning from when we first started dating. He really respects me and knows not to 'contaminate' the kitchen utensils with animal yuck if I will also be using them. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gifLittle things like that really help.

I dont really mind handling and cooking meat for him because I want him to eat well and I love to cook for him. Before I met him in college, he ate pretty heavy stuff.

Both of our parents are great about it. His mom has adapted some recipes for me that are vegetarian, such as vegetarian stuffed cabbage (traditionally made with pork).
But I am already getting comments from my MIL about any future children we may have. She thinks I should raise my children to eat meat, and I am not sure about that yet. My veg friend has raised her son as a veggie his whole life; he is over the 100th percentile for height and intelligence.
Kima, if you have any thoughts on this issue it would be appreciated! Thanks!

Well I see I droned on quite a bit! Sorry, I just started a new job, so I am a bit brain-dead.

http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif
Kathy

[kima]

Boy some of you do face "challenging " situations! My husband is the one who is a "diehard" veggie. We read Diet For a New America many years ago and that was it. Sometimes I miss making some of my old favorites, like Chicken Cacciatore (yes I have a veggie variation!) and sometimes I remember when dinner meant just sticking the thing in the oven!
I am lucky to have a husband who loves just about everything and will try everything- he also really likes tofu!!
As far as children go I have no real advice to give. Our girls were 6 and 8 when we became vegetarians. As I said the yougest one decided at 6 not to eat meat while the older one loved it. It seemed to me that making meat a forbidden food, especially in our society where meat eating is the norm, would just make it more desirable. Many of our dearest friends eat meat and some hunt- we didn't want our kids to think they were "bad" people. We explained why we were vegetariansand that we wouldn't cook meat at home very often. They were free to make their own choices. This approach worked very well for us. I just asked my meat eating daughter how she felt and she said if we had forbid her to eat meat she would have wanted nothing but!!
I do think it would be great to start kids off as vegetarians- that is what I would do now (ain't happening now though- I am 43!!)
I really admire the patience and tolerance you all show for your DH's preferences. I agree that food should not become a source of aggravation. Compromise is probably the best solution.