I'm a bad mom

[memartha]

I forgot to take DS to a birthday party yesterday!

We had DD's dance recital from 1 - 3:30; my brother and his family arrived (from Buffalo) just as the recital was beginning, we all came back to my house, the kids played with their cousins, we had a cookout, the kids went to bed, and I checked the phone messages because I noticed the light was blinking.

It was DS's friend's mother, asking where was DS, they were about to leave for the movie. I feel sooooooo bad. I left her a message apologizing, and I'm going to call again today. BAD MOM!

[lindrusso]

I did that once! Only it was worse because DS was the only one invited! :o :o

I apologized profusely and invited the little boy over as soon as we could arrange it.

It was my fault, but I sure wish they had called me like your parent did instead of sitting around waiting (and probably cursing me ;) ).

I felt terrible too - I had never forgotten something so important.

As bad as you feel - we're all human and we do the best we can! :)

[Terri_A]

Not a bad mom at all!!!! It sounds like your son had a great day - and at the end of it all, isn't that what all of us moms want? We want kids who have memories of great days! You were having so much impromptu fun that the prescheduled fun was swept away - no big deal. I'm sure the other mom was a bit nerved up, waiting for you all, but accidents happen and I'm sure she'll understand once you explain. A nice note for mom accompanied by the gift for friend you probably already bought will certainly make the entire affair forgotten!

[jmarie]

This happened to a boy on my bus. His feelings were really hurt on the way to school, when he was telling me about it.... But on the way home he was so excited because the mom (who forgot) had sent his gift by her son, to school, with a note to him inviting him over the next Friday night that he was free for a make-up birthday movie.

As long as you make it up to the child, all will be forgiven. Children are so resiliant and just don't know how to hold grudges. You are a good mom for considering the child's (and mom's) feelings, even after the fact.
Joyce

[clairea]

No, you're just a busy mom. Use this as a good opportunity to teach DS that we all make mistakes, and how to make it up to someone when you unintentionally hurt them.

[memartha]

Thanks for you intelligent responses. I absolutely plan to make it up to the other child and my son.

Another reason I'm beating myself up is because had the situation been reversed, I would have been thinking really ugly thoughts about the other party. I know I would. It has taught me a huge lesson; that people get really busy and sometimes important things slip through the cracks. It's no reflection on the busy person or the other person; it's just the way it is.

[LakeMartinGal]

Another reason I'm beating myself up is because had the situation been reversed, I would have been thinking really ugly thoughts about the other party. I know I would. It has taught me a huge lesson; that people get really busy and sometimes important things slip through the cracks. It's no reflection on the busy person or the other person; it's just the way it is.
The important thing about this situation is to learn any lessons possible -- sounds like you've done that, and will help your son learn, too... :)

None of us is perfect, darn it! :o

[Couperine]

I know how you feel - I still remember the awful sinking feeling when I got a phone call from my stepson's mother at the airport asking why he wasn't on the plane. He's always lived with us, and a mid-week departure was so strange that we did our usual routine without either one of us thinking about the possibility that it was time for him to go visit. I promptly zipped him to the airport and popped him on another flight, but I was so embarrassed.

Everything turned out ok in the end, but that has to be my biggest oops that made me feel like a totally awful mom. I have many more years of possible oops to go with our baby though - nice to see how others have handled them.

N

[Aubergine]

Thanks for you intelligent responses. I absolutely plan to make it up to the other child and my son.

Another reason I'm beating myself up is because had the situation been reversed, I would have been thinking really ugly thoughts about the other party. I know I would. It has taught me a huge lesson; that people get really busy and sometimes important things slip through the cracks. It's no reflection on the busy person or the other person; it's just the way it is.

i know exaactly what you mean there. and, while it may sound unlikely now, in years to come you'll all be laughing over the "remember the time when...?" oops! moments.

i like what jmarie wrote--the really important thing is that you took immediate steps to acknowlege your error and correct it. a lot of people probably would have made up some stupid lie about a car breakdown or something. give yourself credit for doing the honorable and adult thing, and for modeling that behavior for your son. you are human, humans make mistakes, but the way we handle them is truly the test of a person's mettle.