Need alternatives to the unity candle ceremony

[Judy K.]

A dear friend is singing a song we love during our wedding ceremomy. Rather than just stand there looking at each other while the guests sit there looking at us, I thought we might do something. The unity candle came to mind. However, it is a noon ceremony in a garden, so I'm not sure that would be as effective as if it were indoors. I'm looking for an alternative action that we (bride and groom) could do during the singing of this song. Have any of you been to weddings where you've seen alternative unity ceremonies? I'd appreciate hearing about them.

[PoppyJ]

I have seen the bride and groom pour different colored sand into a vase. The results are very pretty and something you can keep forever.

[JJeannette]

Since it's in a garden--I had this wild idea--how about a table with an empty vase in the middle and a half dozen flowers laying on each side of it--maybe red on one side, white on the other with one pink flower laying in front of the vase. Then as the song is sung, the two of you can put each flower in the vase and finish with the single one--could signify your families coming together to celebrate the new union (red and white make pink)--match your flowers to your colors if you can--maybe the single flower could have a bow with rings tied in the streamers--. Anyway, maybe this will give you and idea to start with---:)

[Georgiagirl]

I went to a wedding recently and the bride and groom painted on canvas instead of doing a unity canvas. It seems on their "first date" that painted the kitchen of her house, so the whole wedding had a "paint theme". The flowergirls carried paint cans, the table centerpieces were flower arrangements in paint cans, they had hand held fans with a paint stick, they had chocolate paint brushed as tokens for the guest... This was a morning outside wedding.

[mbrogier]

I love the sand idea. I wish I had heard of it for my wedding. I got married at the beach and could have gotten sand from different beaches we visited.

[BucknellAlum]

I don't know if this is appropriate, but during our soloists song we had already prepared long stemmed roses on the altar, and walked up, got them and presented them to each of our mothers and DH's grandmother.

Personally, we didn't do the unity candle thing, and this flower presentation does not replace the symbolism of the unity candle, but it was something nice to do during the solo.

[acginkc]

Depending on the time of year, you may be able to order butterflies to release. We considered doing this at my wedding in April, but just never got the chance to get it all planned. It is really a pretty effect and would be appropriate for the garden.

[MikeC]

I really like the idea of colored sand poured into a pretty clear vase; I've never seen it done (all the weddings I've played have been indoors, except one -- years ago), but that is a nice idea.

I did hear from the church wedding "hostess" that, for a wedding I played a couple of months ago, the couple had thought about releasing butterflies....until they looked into the cost of providing the butterflies. Then they scrapped the idea.

[funniegrrl]

There is an old Scottish custom of the couple holding hands and then someone binding their hands with ribbon. Perhaps you could look into that?

P.S. Of course, I believe part of that tradition several hundred years ago also including slashing the palms with a knife before binding the hands together, but ... you might want to skip that part. :D

[Aubergine]

with a garden wedding, there could be some good reasons for avoiding the unity candle--although i love the symbolism--but we were at one recently where it wouldn't light, which was an unwelcome blooper.

i dunno how long the song will last, but a similar symbolic act, like filling the vase with flowers (which i prefer...but they do die), or the sand thing, will help to fill the time, and to emblemize your joining your lives together.

where's the garden that the wedding's being held? how about planting a small tree???? in-ground, the hole could be pre-dug. or you could use a container. i know, getting your hands dirty might not be the optimal thing, but something about it hits me right, and there are garden gloves.

if it's a very elegant affair, scratch that idea.

[leebee]

I attended a wedding recently where the bride and groom each presented their MILs w/ a flower. During a musical interlude, they walked together & the bride gave the groom's mother a flower and the groom gave the bride's mother a flower. Very simple, very touching and I think very symbolic. I think it would work well in a garden setting.

[zwieback]

I was going to suggest something with flowers and I just love the ideas that JJeannette, BucknellAlum and leebee suggested. I second those suggestions, especially since it is a garden wedding. Sounds beautiful! :)

Congratulations!

[summer02]

I attended a wedding recently where the bride and groom each presented their MILs w/ a flower. During a musical interlude, they walked together & the bride gave the groom's mother a flower and the groom gave the bride's mother a flower. Very simple, very touching and I think very symbolic. I think it would work well in a garden setting.
Another variation on the flower idea: We attended a wedding in which the mothers were each presented with a bouquet of flowers at the beginning of the ceremony and at the end there was a musical interlude during which they went up to a table at the front to put the flowers into a vase together to symbolize the uniting of the families. The vase of flowers was then used as the centerpiece for the bride and groom's table at the reception. The bride had the flowers preserved in a shadowbox with the wedding invitation. Similar to this sort of thing: http://www.florage.com/gallery_238.html

[lisas3575]

I attended a wedding a few years ago where the bride and groom each had a 1/2 glass of red wine at the altar, and they each poured their glass into one single glass and both drank from it. The minister had some bit to say about them blending their lives where you can't seperate them back out. It was neat.

[HejazSunKat]

There is an old Scottish custom of the couple holding hands and then someone binding their hands with ribbon. Perhaps you could look into that?

P.S. Of course, I believe part of that tradition several hundred years ago also including slashing the palms with a knife before binding the hands together, but ... you might want to skip that part. :D

*snort* :D Oh you couldn't skip that part! :D What would say 'unity' better than a blood pact?! :D

[Wendy w]

*snort* :D Oh you couldn't skip that part! :D What would say 'unity' better than a blood pact?! :D

Remember what happened with Angelina and BillyBob after they started carrying vials of each other's blood around their necks. :rolleyes:

[HejazSunKat]

Oh yes, that didn't end well did it? :D

Judy congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. By the way, what is the song your friend will be singing? Perhaps that will help generate some ideas.