What is your kids' summer schedule-advice needed!

[BucknellAlum]

I reread the "I'm the Meanest Mom" thread today, as I struggle with how to manage time in the summer with my kids. I find myself with somewhat conflicting ideas about what I want for the summer.

For instance, I am in favor of more unstructured time, so kids can feel free to explore the creek or invent a game, etc. My kids also do better in one on one play dates or smaller groups - they have not enjoyed the 9-3 camps for more than a week, my DD has even been overwhelmed by a 9-12 noon half day camp. It was too much for her personality. Luckily, I work only parttime and DH works from home often, so we have a lot of flexibility.

But I digress. . .I have certain goals, like reading each day, doing chores and so forth. It seems like the only way those get done is for me to ask or remind every other minute. I know that that is not the best parenting technique! We have tried a chart on the fridge, lists by the table, etc. DH seems to think that I am being too rigid, that summer should be "down time" for the kids, although he agrees that they need to do their part around the house.

I guess what I am asking is, how structured are your days, for those of you with elementary aged kids at home?

We limit the computer/TV time of course. That is also a source of fighting sometime, as they will get a timer out and time the other one to see if he/she is getting close to using up their hour. Do I assign a specific time that each one can use the computer, etc?

With parenting, I seem to second guess myself all the time. Should I be taking them to more museums and parks, or is that orchestrating their summer too much? Should I let them complain and then find a way to amuse themselves, or I am not doing my parenting job that way? You can see how I torture myself (see the "pessimist vs optimist" thread!):confused:

Sorry to ramble here, I like hearing how my fellow parents solve or try to solve these dilemmas!

[clairea]

My kids are 6 and almost 9, so probably right in the age group you are talking about. As far as chores, our rule is that the bed gets made before you leave your room in the morning (my standards for kids making beds isn't very high ;) but I want them to at least make an effort). Breakfast dishes get put in the dishwasher when you get up from the table. Other chores (which tend to vary a little), the rule in our house is chores have to be done before we leave the house to do anything fun for the day, and I will let the kids know in the morning if there is any set time schedule that we are working on. I am lucky because my kids are pretty good about getting things done without a lot of reminders, but I also won't hesitate to enforce the consequences if they don't.

As far as structure, we have one but I don't think my kids know it ;) After breakfast, teeth brushing, chores etc. most days we sit down to do the summer workbooks/summer reading from the school, which only takes a few minutes. I try to do all my errands on one day so we can knock them out in a morning, other mornings they will just play outside or around the house (no TV/computer) usually until after lunch), and I will play a game or something with them, maybe get some things done around the house. Most days we go to the pool after lunch. We will usually go to a museum, the zoo, or somewhere similar at least one day every other week. Summer is hard because kids do need some down time, but most IMO most kids need a little bit of structure and guidance or they will just be at loose ends. I don't think we should schedule their days for them, but a little structure at the beginning and end, and some expectations about how they are to contribute to and be pleasant members of the household are certainly appropriate even for elementary aged kids.

As far as things like camps, museums, etc., I think it really depends on the kids, the family, etc. Try not to second-guess yourself. I don't send my kids to camp much because they don't really enjoy it, and we tend to go to the zoo, a museum, etc. fairly frequently because it is something we all enjoy. But I know lots of wonderful parents with very happy children who do things completely differently than I do, and they have found what works best for their family. Try to listen to your children and to your instincts.