Loss of a pet

[LHBryan]

Please bear with me....I'm sure this topic has been posted before, but I'm too tired and sad to do a search.

DH and I had to put our dear, sweet 15-year-old chocolate lab to sleep yesterday. We are both devastated. This is so incredibly hard. I'm looking for ideas about how to honor Mocha's beautiful, long, happy life. We've been thinking of creating a book filled with pictures and memories. Does anyone have other ideas? Are there any recommended books for how to cope with the loss of our fur baby? Our home is so painfully quiet right now. :( I think we're going to head out for a long walk. Mocha would have loved that.

Thanks for your support,

Laura

[oceanjasper]

Awww, that is so sad. I am really sorry for your loss. :(

I love the idea of a book of memories, something that will bring back the happy times in the years to come. A friend of mine recently lost her older lab and a few of us got together to purchase a beautiful tree planted in a ceramic pot for her patio. She was really touched and says she thinks of him everytime she sees the tree. Maybe something like that would be nice.

[aggie94]

Oh, Laura, I've been there and know exactly what you're going through. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it does get easier. It will take time, though, and even four years later, hearing my sweet Casey's name can still bring tears to my eyes in an instant. But there will come a day when you will think of Mocha and instead of crying, you will smile at all the wonderful memories you have of her.

If you haven't seen it before, the "Rainbow Bridge" poem is a very nice piece:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...


I think a scrapbook of photos and mementos is a wonderful idea. I have been planning to make one of Casey and even have the album but just haven't made the time. We did have her cremated and keep her ashes in a nice container next to her framed photo. And every year on her birthday, I fill the house with fresh flowers in her memory.

Hugs to you and your DH in this difficult time.

Eva

[Lauren]

I'm sorry for your loss. I was also thinking of a tree in Mocha's memory. We have a one year lab, so I know how sweet and loving they are.

[mcgeiger]

I am so sorry for your loss of Mocha.

Ideas for memorials...
a bench in a favorite park
donation to a lab rescue
donation to humane society

This is a link to Argus (http://www.argusinstitute.colostate.edu/grief.htm), at Colorado State Vet School. I realize that some local resources won't be available, but they do have reading lists, companies that make pet memorials, etc.

(((((((your family)))))))

[Canice]

I'm so sorry, Laura. I've been in your shoes and it's just horrible.
The scrapbook will be a wonderful thing to have in the future; only you know whether it would make you feel better to put it together now or to wait.
You might consider making a donation to a reputable lab rescue in your area.

[LakeMartinGal]

Oh, Laura... hugs to ((((you and DH)))). :( I've gone through this a couple of times, but the most painful was with our golden, Bailey. I second mcgeiger's suggestions.

[Missi]

((((hugs)))) So sorry for your loss. :( :( :(

[Elizabeth B]

Laura - I'm so sorry about your poor Mocha. We lost our dog a couple of years ago. After she died, I pulled out all of her pictures from our photo albums and put them in a pile. I would look through the pictures and remember how much joy she brought us. Gradually, I went from looking at her pictures several times a day to looking at them a couple of times a month.

One positive thing that came out of her death was that it brought my DH and I closer to each other. We both loved Lady and we grieved together.

It's very hard, but you'll get though it.

Elizabeth

[doggerham]

Laura,

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our sweet Valentine this spring after a bout with hemangiosarcoma. Many of us have been there.

I read (here, maybe?) about ordering a memorial stone that you might place in your garden. If you just google pet memorial stone, you'll get several places that make this sort of thing.

One friend built her "Zeus Memorial Garden" in her back yard.

This may sound silly, but just after Valley died, I bought an iPod, and had a line from Edith Wharton engraved on it. "My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet". That, along with her pictures on the iPod help keep her close.

I also love your scrapbook idea.

Amy

[AliKat11]

Laura,

I lost my dearest cat several years ago, when I was about 22 or so. A dear friend of mine suggested that I write a letter to Maizey to say goodbye, as I was afraid that I was going to forget the little things about her that were so special to me.

I wrote this letter, and it was the closure that I needed. I've never been able to read it (in fact I'm tearing up now just thinking about her) but I know where it is and that she's not forgotten.

Hugs to you and your family.

Michelle

[Casey1230]

When we lost Beau, we have a stone carved with his name and put in near the road to the house so that he could see who was coming to visit.

[Goldie]

There's a nice little booklet that a friend gave me when my first dog passed away - it's called "Goodbye My Friend: Grieving the Loss of a Pet". You can order it from Montgomery Press. Mine is old so there's no website on it, but you can probably do a search.

I saw a beautiful shadow box that someone put together for their dog. She used photos, the dog's old collar and tags, a ribbon from a show, and other bits and pieces of things that reminded her of the dog. It was extremely nice and just had a great sentimental feel to it.

I'm sorry for your loss! Dogs are so important in my life too, and I hate that they don't stay with us longer.

[KimKelly]

Oh Laura, you've brought tears to my eyes with your post. I'm so sorry for your loss of Mocha.... we also lost a beloved pet a number of years back and I remember the pain being so strong. We had her creamated and unfortunately have never done anything with her ashes. She is still in a pretty box in our bedroom (my kids have never asked what is in the box.... I hadn't thought about that till I was just writing...). I have her picture on the box and for a long time had her tags around it. I would think of her everytime I passed the box and it helped to see her tags, they were just part of her.

{{{{{{{Laura}}}}}}}

Kim

[Jewel]

Laura, I've recently been there myself. Losing my Riley after ten wonderful years together simply tore me up. :( My husband lost his treasured white German Shepard Rex about 8 years ago as well, so we both know your pain.

To honor Rex and Riley both, we had some really terrific photos of the two of them framed in holiday ornaments for our tree. We call them our Angel Ornaments, and they're placed proudly in the front of the tree each year.

This might sound odd, but Riley was crazy about riding in the car with his head hanging out the window. I was lucky enough a few years ago to twist around in the front seat to snap a wonderful photo of him in the backseat catching a snootful of wind with his hair and ears blowing back. We loved that photo! I've always been one to name my cars :o and when I bought my current vehicle a month after we lost Riley, we decided to name this car Riley, and Dave took that particular photo of him and mounted it on the passenger side dashboard. Every time I glance over and see my little guy's face hanging out that window, I smile. It's like he's there with me.

Your pain will lessen, but your memories never will. Mocha is now at peace and pain free. My thoughts are with you.

[SueK]

Laura- I'm so sorry to hear about Mocha. I know how much love and joy a dog brings into your life, and truly becomes a member of the family. We've dealt the the loss of pets over the past few years and it is a painful feeling.

(((Sending good thoughts your way.....)))

[LHBryan]

Thanks so much you guys for all of your kind words and hugs. I just typed a long reply that disappeared in cyberspace. I'll re-post tomorrow.

Today has been a rough day, as our sweet Mocha was cremated this morning. It really does help to know that so many others have suffered through the loss of a beloved pet and understand what we're going through. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your compassion and suggestions.

-Laura

[beckms]

You have gotten a lot of good advice. I just wanted you to know that Wrigley and Sparkle and I are thinking of your and your beloved Pup today.

Maybe you could donate some of Mocha's favorite treats to a local shelter so other dogs can enjoy them in her honer.

[wallycat]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have tons of thoughts and emotions I want to post and none seem fitting.

I have been there and though time lessens the pain and emptiness, you never forget your beloved pet. May Mocha have a peaceful rest.

[cookinator]

Just sending cyber hugs to you Laura..I've been there several times and its very sad. It will heal over time. Hang in there, it helps to talk about it with others.

[swquilts]

DH and I, Woody and Rosie send our sympathies to you and your DH. I dread the day when I have to face this again.

((((HUGS))))

[luv2cook]

Been there, too. I, too, lost a dog to hemangiosarcoma, a cat last year to cancer and another cat 3 weeks later to a host of ailments. It will get better.

We just donated $100 to our locat spay/neuter place. It bought a brick to be a part of their sidewalk and I did it in their memories...

[KathrynY]

((((Laura))))) Sending more hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

I hope that you are able to put together that scrapbook for Mocha - I am sure it will be something you treasure. We lost our beloved cat of 16 years earlier this summer, and it was most helpful to me to go through all of our photos of her and remember the times before she got sick. Sending healing thoughts your way - I know what you mean about the house being painfully quiet.

[stefania4]

I'm so sorry to hear of the lab-shaped hole in your household. It's so difficult to lose such a devoted member of the family.

I think your scrapbook idea is lovely. I also like the idea of planting a tree (here in the South, it has to be a DOGwood!). We've also made memorial donations - one to the University of Georgia vet school that was soooo good to our Reggie, and, about 2 months after Katrina hit, to one of the animal shelters in Mississippi that had been wiped out (in honor of a friend's dog).

Hugs,
Stephanie

[LHBryan]

Thanks again for your support and warm wishes. You guys are so thoughtful. It really does help to hear your stories. DH and I have been trying to take good care of each other and have been re-living fond memories of Mocha through photos and stories.

I think we'll create a special Mocha memory box, rather than a scrapbook, so we don't feel compelled to try to make it chronological. It's been nice to tell stories as we remember them, so we'll just record them on pretty paper and put them in the box as we wish. That way we can include not only photos and written memories, but also her nylabone and tennis ball. We've decided to make donations to the animal shelter/lab rescue in honor of her regular vet, who took such great care of Mocha after we relocated last summer, and in honor of the emergency vet who showed us so much compassion as we grappled with our painfully difficult decision. I can't imagine how hard his job must be, and I want to thank him for treating all three of us with such care. Beckms--thanks for the idea about her treats/food. I'm going to call the shelter to see if they'll accept them.

I love all of your other ideas for ways to honor her. We're still renting after relocating last year, so unfortunately cannot plant a special tree or have a memorial stone made for the garden. I know that when we do have a home again, I'll want to plant lots of carrots in our vegetable garden--she absolutely loved carrots! And the shadowbox idea would be a perfect way to preserve the flower-decorated collar she wore as Flower Girl/Best Dog in our wedding. I've kept it wrapped in tissue and have always wanted to do something special with it.

Eva--Thanks so much for posting Rainbow Bridge. They gave us a copy of it at the hospital, and it is really lovely. I love your tradition of filling the house with fresh flowers on Casey's birthday. Maybe fresh flowers and the Barefoot Contessa's roasted chicken on Mocha's birthday--that smell always drove her nuts!

Gail--Your story about Riley brought tears to my eyes. My new favorite photo of Mocha is one we took just recently on her 15th birthday. The 3 of us were on a road trip to Montana, and I took a photo of her lying down in the back seat with her head in between the two front seats. There's a glimmer in her eyes and she looks so happy to be going on a trip with her humans. She was thrilled by all the new smells Montana had to offer! I'm so glad we have that picture of her.

Sorry for the novel. For those of you with pets, give them some extra love for us.

Thanks again,
Laura