Do I go to my reunion or not?

[mcgeiger]

My 10 year reunion for HS is planned over Thanksgiving (good in theory, but obviously none of the planners have to travel long distances, visit family, etc in a 4 day weekend).

Plane fare is almost $400, and the drive is 12 hours each way. If we drove we would probably not to do it again at Christmas.

My HS class was over 400, and I've kept in touch with exactly one person from my class (I keep in contact with a few more that were a year older). For those of you who've gone to these is it worth it?

[Terri_A]

I went to my 10 year, did not have fun, would not recommend it. Everyone I WANT to see/talk to from HS, I already do.

So, in my opinion, not worth that expense or drive and time away from family.

[funnybone]

It should be my 25th reunion next year, but there won't be one as my school does not exist any longer. It became a Catholic HS many years ago. I don't think I have missed anything, nor have I kept in touch with anyone, but it would be fun to see some of the people again - to see how they look now. At 10 years, there would not have been the draw to go, even though I lived in the area. At 25, it might be, if there were a chance.

[zwieback]

Considering the cost of airfare or the hours of driving, if it were me I'd rather make the drive for Christmas. Thanksgiving really seems like an odd time of year to have a reunion.

[stefania4]

I didn't realize anyone else's HS had Thanksgiving reunions! I thought the little corner of SE PA where I grew up was the only one.

I haven't been to a reunion. For one thing, I stopped travelling on holiday weekends years ago (why on earth some people think holiday weekends are a great time to get married I will never understand!). After my 2-hour flight took 15 hours, with all of a bag of peanuts and a half-cup of water provided by the airline, I was finished.

And quite frankly, if I didn't like most of these people when they lived up the street from me, why would I travel 1,000 inconveniently-scheduled miles to see them now? Even if a lot of them have turned out to be great people, which I don't doubt, it's highly unlikely that more than one or two live within 3 hours of me here in Georgia.

[LakeMartinGal]

I went to precisely one HS reunion, and I wish I hadn't! All the cliques were still in tact. As a matter of fact, one of the girls said that it was just like being back in HS -- we picked up right where we left off! Not my cup of tea, and certainly not worth missing a holiday with family for!!! :rolleyes:

[Grace]

I agree completely. I went to my 10 year reunion, it was ok, but I certainly didn't have the time of my life or anything. I didn't go to the 20th or the 25th (which was just this year). I saw pictures of the 25th - there were maybe 50 people there total (out of a class of nearly 1000). It seemed to me that the people whose heyday in life was high school are still trying to go back and relive it. The rest of us didn't show up. :cool:

I did go to a special A Cappella Choir reunion a few years back. The A Cappella director retired after 20 something years of leading the choir. We won the Illinois State competition under him almost every year. So there was a reunion for all the students he had in those 20 something years. We got together and sang all day for two days then did a concert. That was cool. But the other students were just like they used to be. Exactly like LakeMartinGal said! I stood up against the wall all by myself during the breaks and no one spoke to me - just like back in high school! One girl who was super popular and never acknowledged me back in high school kept calling me by the wrong name (I think on purpose) with her fake smile "Oh hi Gail! How are you?!" I wanted to barf. I found myself feeling this strange (not very good) feeling and deciding right then and there I would never go back to those days by attending anything reunion related.

So no, I wouldn't bother spending the time or money or effort.

[Curiosity Hears]

I went to a small high school with 138 in my graduating class back in Pittsburgh. If I still lived there I probably would have gone to the reunions but I have been in California since finishing college and don't feel I have missed a thing of importance or relevance to my life today. Next year will be the 25th reunion and I doubt I will go to that one either.

Please let us know what you decide. If you do go, we would love to hear about it afterwards. :)

[Wendy w]

I'm a big reunion geek and have attended all of mine. Of course, I haven't strayed very far from where I went to high school. I have a good time because I was very shy and geeky growing up and people who were very cruel are now nice and I like that. Yes, I know its shallow, but oh well. :o

Our 25th was the best. After kicking and screaming about it being held in Vegas (I live in SoCal and am not a Vegas person), I went and had the best time ever. I am now very good friends with some people whom I did not know very well in high school (some are in my knitting group, Chix with Stix), and am looking forward to our 30th, which will be a cruise.

On the other hand, I can thoroughly understand your hesitance about attending your's. A holiday weekend is not a good time, the drive is long and airfare is high, and it looks like you'd be better off saving your travel for Christmas. When you decline, you should tell the coordinators why, because they obviously have not been thinking.

[boisewinesnob]

One girl who was super popular and never acknowledged me back in high school kept calling me by the wrong name (I think on purpose) with her fake smile "Oh hi Gail! How are you?!" I wanted to barf.

Oh Grace, LOL!!!! The exact same thing happened to me, only miss popular called me "Becky" :rolleyes: Gag.
But I had a great time at my 10th anyway. My best friend and I hadn't seen each other in a couple years and it was worth it to me just to see her (although I know I could have made arrangements to get together with her).

Anyway, I missed my 20th because I was in Boston, NYC, Philly with my son. I don't think my school is having a 25th, but now that I live in the same town again I would probably go. But I would not go through all the inconvenience that the OP would have to go through.

[manetta]

Plane fare is almost $400, and the drive is 12 hours each way. If we drove we would probably not to do it again at Christmas.

My HS class was over 400, and I've kept in touch with exactly one person from my class (I keep in contact with a few more that were a year older). For those of you who've gone to these is it worth it?

I think you've already answered your own question. ;)

[sfarler]

I graduated with a very small class (less than 50). For our 30th reunion some of the class decided to meet at a bar somewhere close to the high school. There wasn't any kind of dinner or reunion dance planned.

I was curious as to how everyone would look, but didn't want to spend the time away from family or the money to travel there so I just sent a note along with a check and asked that someone send me some pictures and to buy a round of drinks.

The pictures were great and I didn't have to be there!

[MrsReber]

DH just went to his 20th (not far from where we live now). He had a great time.

I think I'm going to go to my 20th. I don't really keep in touch with many people, I'm just curious to see them all. I didn't go to my 10th. I'd wait for the 20th, personally. I feel like people haven't changed much in 10 years. Besides, I'd love to see all those snotty popular kids acting like we were best friends in HS! ;) But really, I didn't care to go to my 10th. I don't think DH went to one- or maybe his class didn't have one.

[Wendy w]

Mrs. R has a really good point. I found that people had grown up more at the 20th & 25th reunions. Some of the people at the 10th were trying too hard to impress others.

[Canice]

I don't know what it would take to get me to travel on Thanksgiving weekend, but I'm certain that a high school reunion with people I've not kept in touch with would *not* be the impetus! Especially if it meant telling my family it meant I wouldn't be seeing them at Christmas.
Ten year reunions always sound the hardest to me; like people are still trying to prove themselves and still hoping they look 18; I think (hope?) after 20 years people are more at ease with where they are in life.

I am the only person I've ever met whose best friends are people she knew in high school or before; we have so much in common on every level, it's really remarkable. I only see my friends but hear about others through chance encounters they have, and because some of the parents still have their networks.

[Becky13347]

I went to my 10 year reunion about 6 years ago. We had a very good time. But I was, and still am, close friends with quite a few people that I went to HS with. I actually had a better time at the events leading up to the reunion dinner/dance. We all attended a football game that weekend and had a tour of the HS since it had been completely renovated in the ten years since graduation, we also had a breakast/brunch thing.

But, like others have said, things don't change much in 10 years. The jerks in HS were complete idiots the night of the dance. The cliques were still clique-y. However b/c such a large group of my friends went, I didn't really care about those others. I had a great time hanging out "like the old days" :D

And I don't know about maturity at 20th or 25th. Last year we attended DH's 20th and the cliques were still there plus the women all looked 50 yo or 38 trying to be 17. Ugh. :p

If you are only friends with one person, it probably isn't worth going unless you are aware of others who are going that you would enjoy seeing again.

Becky

[mcgeiger]

Both DH and my families are still in St. Louis, so we would see them at Thanksgiving--just not at Christmas (and it will my nephew's first :D ). The thing is that I was friends with a lot of people in HS, and then suffered from severe depression in my senior year/freshmen year of college and kind of cut myself off from everyone. And I am interested in how people are doing, and where they are...in St. Louis reunions tend to be pretty big (as people rarely leave :confused: )

I don't really want to spend the money to fly but I have my Cardiology rotation Monday morning 7:30am (with the only vet that I know of that's done a heart transplant :cool: ), so if we drove we have to do it Sunday (though we'd have to fly Sunday of Thanksgiving too...) DH and other friends have gone to 10-years and had fun, so that's why I'm debating.

Please keep sharing opinons!!

[wallycat]

I've never gone for several reasons:

I was not a popular kid.
I graduated a year early so would never see people I actually went to class with at a reunion in the year I graduated from.
High school was a nightmare, socially, for me. I would NEVER PAY to relive pain.
:p :D :D

[Clover]

Both DH and my families are still in St. Louis, so we would see them at Thanksgiving--just not at Christmas (and it will my nephew's first :D ). The thing is that I was friends with a lot of people in HS, and then suffered from severe depression in my senior year/freshmen year of college and kind of cut myself off from everyone. And I am interested in how people are doing, and where they are...in St. Louis reunions tend to be pretty big (as people rarely leave :confused: )


In your original post, you didn't sound very interested in going, but now you sound as if you really would like to. Christmas is every year, and the reunion is not. If you don't go, will you be wishing afterwards that you had?

[erinlovesmarc]

My 10 year reunion was this year and I did not go...I haven't stayed in contact with anyone from highschool (and do not want to)...

[raka1214]

DH and I went to my 5 yr. reunion and everyone was exactly the same as they were in HS. We didn't have a 10 or 15 yr. reunion so, this past year (05) was my 20th. I didn't have the oppurtunity to go and would have LOVED to. No, I wasn't popular or anything like that but these are people that I grew up with and there is an odd fascination with seeing how they turned out for me.

DH's 25th reunion is 2 yrs. away and we are already making plans to attend that one.

eta: You mention that this is your nephew's first Christmas - trust me, next year's Christmas with him will be much more fun as he will really be able to enjoy it a little more - just my two cents worth.

[DeeK]

I didn't realize anyone else's HS had Thanksgiving reunions! I thought the little corner of SE PA where I grew up was the only one.


I'm originally from S.E. PA too. Our reunions were Thanksgiving weekend (Hatboro-Horsham H.S.). We went to 5 and 10, but then we had a child and holiday weeks were reserved for family.

I don't even know if our class (1973) has even HAD any more reunions. :confused:

[tamawrite]

I've never gone for several reasons:

I was not a popular kid.
I graduated a year early so would never see people I actually went to class with at a reunion in the year I graduated from.

:p :D :D

Are you...ME?

Most of my friends were my age, but in the class behind me. I thought I had that problem solved when I married one of them, but darn it, we were divorced before the reunion!

[schuh]

I went to my 10th and had a reasonably good time seeing friends I hadn't kept in touch with. It's true that the cliques are relatively intact -- I didn't talk to anyone that wasn't a friend in high school.

But at your 10th, you're 28ish and most people of that age aren't all that settled in their lives. There was a lot of trying to impress each other, etc.

I've heard that later reunions are more fun. There's less BS. I would have gone to my 20th but had a family wedding that day.

Good luck.

[luv2cook]

how funny i spotted this thread. my HS reunion is next month. they found me after all this time. I am toying w/the idea of going. If I didn't have to pay so much to go, I might go for a while just to see who shows up. I realy didn't like the people in my class. I am also thinking if I went, I might go alone. No sense dragging my DH to it. How boring for him!

[mommycook]

I went to my 10 year reunion and had a blast. The people I spent the evening with were people I attended elementary school with and spent no time with in high school. We had a great time, DH even enjoyed himself. My only complaint was that the music was very loud and it was difficult to hear what anyone was saying. My reuinion was held in a hotel close to the town where I grew up and we only had a 30 minute drive from where we live to get there. I may not have attended if I had to fly there over a holiday.

My 20 year reunion is next summer. :eek:

[JackieO]

I went to my 10th and had a reasonably good time seeing friends I hadn't kept in touch with. It's true that the cliques are relatively intact -- I didn't talk to anyone that wasn't a friend in high school.

But at your 10th, you're 28ish and most people of that age aren't all that settled in their lives. There was a lot of trying to impress each other, etc.

I've heard that later reunions are more fun. There's less BS.

That's been my experience!

I graduated from a small HS in northwestern Wisconsin -- grad. class of about 120 -- and we have had reunions every five years. I went to the 5th -- bored to tears. Skipped the 10th and 15th because I was out of state (and hugely pregnant at the 15th! :eek: ). But the 20th was great fun, 25 was even better (I did WW for a year before the reunion and was about the same size I was at graduation!) and 30 was the best. I will qualify that, however, by saying through the efforts of a girlfriend who now lives in Oregon, six of us rented a pontoon boat and floated around on a lake for several hours the day before the actual event. THAT truly was the highlight of the weekend.

All that being said, prepare for the same cliques to organize. The slicks always gravitate to each other as the event progresses. But for the most part, the popular folks seem to have developed a better sense of awareness of others and the shy folks have earned a lot of confidence through their life experiences. By the time you hit your 20th reunion, people are talking about their families, not their careers, their jobs, their cars, their vacations. (And by 30 years, they are talking about retirement!)

FWIW, mcgeiger, I'd skip the 10th because of the hassle, time and expense. If you are only in touch with one person out of the 400, it might not be much fun, unless you go into it with a plan to reconnect with people. Just me 2 cents.

[JackieO]

I went to my 10th and had a reasonably good time seeing friends I hadn't kept in touch with. It's true that the cliques are relatively intact -- I didn't talk to anyone that wasn't a friend in high school.

But at your 10th, you're 28ish and most people of that age aren't all that settled in their lives. There was a lot of trying to impress each other, etc.

I've heard that later reunions are more fun. There's less BS.

That's been my experience!

I graduated from a small HS in northwestern Wisconsin -- grad. class of about 120 -- and we have had reunions every five years. I went to the 5th -- bored to tears. Skipped the 10th and 15th because I was out of state (and hugely pregnant at the 15th! :eek: ). But the 20th was great fun, 25 was even better (I did WW for a year before the reunion and was about the same size I was at graduation!) and 30 was the best. I will qualify that, however, by saying through the efforts of a girlfriend who now lives in Oregon, six of us rented a pontoon boat and floated around on a lake for several hours the day before the actual event. THAT truly was the highlight of the weekend.

All that being said, prepare for the same cliques to organize. The slicks always gravitate to each other as the event progresses. But for the most part, the popular folks seem to have developed a better sense of awareness of others and the shy folks have earned a lot of confidence through their life experiences. By the time you hit your 20th reunion, people are talking about their families, not their careers, their jobs, their cars, their vacations. (And by 30 years, they are talking about retirement!)

FWIW, mcgeiger, I'd skip the 10th because of the hassle, time and expense. If you are only in touch with one person out of the 400, it might not be much fun, unless you go into it with a plan to reconnect with people. Just me 2 cents.

[Gilgamesh37]

By the time you hit your 20th reunion, people are talking about their families, not their careers, their jobs, their cars, their vacations. .


Boy, totally NOT my experience. I went to my 5th, which was exactly like high school. Then my mother badgered me into going to my 20th (she has a great time at her hs reunions and just can't wrap her head around the fact that I loathe mine) and I went to make her happy and because everyone says that by 20 years it's much better. Not for NCHS. Had an okay time, but certainly not great. And there was a TON of "we own this FABULOUS house and this EXPENSIVE car and live in this EXCLUSIVE neighborhood, etc etc"---but my hometown is very like that in general. The cliques were still strong and seemed even more gleeful in trashing the other folks there. Not a chance in hell I'll spend one thin dime going to another one, ever.

[BucknellAlum]

I guess I have had a different experience. I went to my 5th and 10th (dragging DH to the 10th, to show everyone I got married!). Skipped the 15th and then went to the 20th and had a blast! I have only kept in touch with 2 or 3 friends, but what made the reunion so great was seeing people I USED to be friendly with and catching up.

Also, I definitely found that the "cliques" diminished over time. People I thought didn't know me now had the maturity to say, "you were in my XYZ class weren't you?" and talk about their lives now.

I also found that I could come up with names of people I hadn't seen for 20 years. It was like a vault opening up in my brain, as I saw someone approach, his or her name would float right into my head, along with trivia ("played on basketball team", "edited newspaper", etc). I wish my current memory was as good!

I went to a very large (700+ class) HS in S.E. PA, but I loved going back and seeing the people from all walks of life that I knew then. I felt like most people genuinely wanted to reminisce, I didn't feel much bragging or competition about careers going on.

Thanksgiving weekend is traditionally a reunion weekend in this area, I guess because at the 5 and 10 year age, people may be inclined to come "home" to their parents' area for the holiday, and so can attend the reunion. Our 15th was held in June and attendance was very poor.

I can't tell you what to do in your situation with the travel involved and so forth. Is there anyone you are curious about from HS? I really enjoyed catching up with people who were not my best friends in HS. Just my 2 cents!