Maid of Honor duties?

[FruitsAlive]

My best friend from high school asked me to be her maid of honor a few years ago. Her wedding isn't until the end of next year, so I had not really stressed too much about the whole thing. I know that I should start planning the bachelorette party, (and lose about five dress sizes), but what else is a standard maid of honor tradition?
She sent me an email yesterday asking if I want to shop for my dress after Thanksgiving or New Years. A little early, no?
Thanks for your help.

[Robyn1007]

A bridal shower is often done by the maid of honor but that really depends on each situation. The big thing is to be her support and run around like crazy right before the wedding. As far as when to shop for dresses, I actually think she's quite close. I would do it after New Year's but definitely earlier rather than later. Depending on who you order from it can take up to 3 months to get it in and then you need to allow for time to get it altered. Plus, if you shop during a similar season as to when the wedding will be it might be easier to find the colors she wants (if her colors are at all seasonal).

[LakeMartinGal]

Doesn't the maid of honor also prepare a toast to the couple for the reception?

[Vanessa]

The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected:


Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure all bridesmaids get their dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.


Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).


Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.


Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.


Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns.


Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.


Host or cohost a shower for the bride.


Attend all prewedding parties.


Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).


Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.


See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary.


Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets.


Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb.


Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception.


Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.


Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.


Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead).


Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.


Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.


Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm.


Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others.


Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.)


Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.


Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.

[HejazSunKat]

The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected:


Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure all bridesmaids get their dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.


Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).


Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.


Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.


Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns.


Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.


Host or cohost a shower for the bride.


Attend all prewedding parties.


Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).


Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.


See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary.


Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets.


Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb.


Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception.


Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.


Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.


Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead).


Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.


Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.


Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm.


Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others.


Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.)


Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.


Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.

Oh my! My condolences FruitsAlive. You're going to need a vacation. :)

[mst]

I would ask your friend what she wants you to do. Everyone has a different idea. All I asked of my bridesmaids was to buy a black long dress, and show up early for pictures. Yet, one of my SIL's still had trouble with that... :rolleyes:

[FruitsAlive]

LOL, HejazSunKat. I was a little freaked when I read all that stuff. When I asked her, she told me that she didn't want me to do anything but show up the day before because she "doesn't want to put me out". Now, in woman talk, isn't that a cry for help? Her mom is controlling everything, and anything that can be done already has been. She had her dress a year ago. (Wish my waistline were that predictable) I would have been there more, but I live two hours away and I don't even need to talk about gas prices.
So...bachelorette party, toast, dress, keeping her mom away before the ceremony...I need to write this stuff down...er...somewhee other than the bb...