What are the advantages of getting older?

[Natasha]

Okay, guys, I had a short spell of feeling kind of old this morning (though I feel much better now) http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif. There s such an overwhelming perception in society that younger is always better and that getting older is something to be feared. But you also hear people talk about how life gets better and better in some ways. So I was wondering what things you ve found get better as time goes on. (Nothing negative, pleeeeaaase!) http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

So far one comes to mind: when I was in school, I cared far more about what people thought of me than I do now. While I still value the opinions of others, I ve found it quite liberating to realize that I don t much care what certain people think of me anymore. I m the way I am - not perfect, but that s fine - thank you very much! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Anyone else? (Hope you don t all think I m off my rocker - see, I still care what you all think of me!!) http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[Vanessa]

I guess as with everything there are good things and bad things.My grandpa used to say the older the wiser. In a way its true. As life goes on one learns from mistakes and one's life is enriched by experiences, knowledge and therefore an amount of wisdom.
When one is younger one thinks and acts without giving much thought to consequences and as one gets older one is more careful, analize the different aspects of things.
Getting older I recall people saying does not mean that your life stops it can be a life filled with many things. It can be as rewarding as you want to make of it. Among the best things with time is that one tends to get to know oneself and feel more confident. You look back but you mostly look ahead in life. You tend to develop a rich appreciation for your parents and their sacrifices. I recall a dear person who died that I considered as a grandmother tell me how wonderful it was to live and enjoy family, friends and how one develops at a certain point such internal peace and not fearing the unknown because of her deep faith.
I think getting older can be what you make of it. Also I think one can keep young in heart and mind and keep a positive attitute. I have seen many old couples dancing, laughing and just enjoying life and I have seen the other side negative, feeling sorry, obseced with wrinkles etc. One should appreciate every age in life.... http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gifA great topic!

[Natasha]

Vanessa, that s beautiful (and very wise). Thank you for your insights. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[hhcowgirl]

I may not be that "qualified" to weigh in on this topic (I'm only 24) but I have definitely discerned some advantages of growing older already. Most significantly, I have seen such tremendous improvements in relationships. Not just with men/my BF, but also with women. I have learned to stop wasting my time nursing my bruised ego when someone, for whatever reason, doesn't like me. And romantically, I have learned exactly what it is that I want/need in a relationship and not to ever, ever again waste my time with someone who is not giving me all those things. All in all, I have savored every moment of maturing and learning and growing--my BF and I discussed last night how we feel strange in that we are both so excited for the future, whereas so many of our friends lament the passage of time and talk of nothing but college and frat parties. I, for one, am enjoying the present and looking forward to a fulfilling and inspiring tomorrow.

[Laura]

I am more patient, I am kinder, I have more confidence, I have changed my opinion of what "old" really means. I no longer desire to show the world what I can teach it, but learn from those around me. I am 38 and used to think of how ancient that seemed when I was in my early 20's. Now I have friends who are in their 50's and 60's and amazed at their vitality. I am not as obsessed about how I look in comparison to everyone else, but rather, I am more content with where I am at this stage in my life. Could I be 10 pounds lighter? Yes. Do I still want the "six-pack?" Definitely! Am I going to allow those issues affect me so much that I can't enjoy life? Maybe, but not as much as it would have 15-20 years ago.

Yes, I have regrets, but I don't wish to go back 10 years. The mistakes were there for a reason, and hopefully, I have learned something from them. In my 20's, I dreaded turning 30. Now that I am approaching 40, I look at it with a much more positive attitude. Today has been a good day. I am thankful for what I have. I pray each day, that the next day will give me the chance to affect someone in a positive way. Actually, it's pretty darn good being where I am. Thanks for making me think about it. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif



[This message has been edited by Laura (edited 02-02-2001).]

[Laura]

Oops! My age must be getting to me; I posted twice!

[This message has been edited by Laura (edited 02-02-2001).]

[Gail]

We are in a constant state of becoming. Everything you've done, every person you've met effects you in some way-- both the good and the bad-- molding you into the person you are today. This is a concept I was hard-pressed to comprehend at eighteen, but looking back it's a very definite reality. People have come and gone in my life over the years. I've taken courses, read books. Changed professions several times, married, had a child. Traveled and interacted with peoples of different cultures and beliefs-- tasted their foods, exchanged ideas. And I like to think that as they broadened my understanding of life and the world, hopefully I was able to do the same thing for them.

I look back on years past and realize that education and growth doesn't stop at a specific point unless we let it-- that the real education wasn't all those years between kindergarten and diploma-- and that while I've come a long way in the intervening years, there's still a long, long road ahead with miles and miles of territory to explore.

Want me to dust off the tired old line comparing growing older to aging a bottle of fine wine? Sure you do. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif You expect that of me, don'tcha? (hic)

[This message has been edited by Gail (edited 02-02-2001).]

[Gail]

Why do I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to sing "My Way?" http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/tongue.gif

[kwormann]

To put a different spin on this, I feel myself getting older in ways I swore I never would (Im 30).

The females I hang around with are all a few years younger (24-27) and are in to things I dont have interest in....groups like N'Sync (what I call teenage music), teenage movies (those geared at teenagers) and I have zero interest in those things. I love cooking, having a drink at a quiet place where you can have a conversation, not a noisy smoky bar or club. I always said I would never stop being a teenager, but somewhere, sometime, I drifted out of it.

When did that happen???? I feel out of touch with my friends and I dont consider them younger chronologically. Has anyone else experienced this???? I dont feel sad that Im 30, just sad that I feel ive left people behind.

Kim

[hlao23]

Kim,

I experienced this when I started grad school. I'm 31 and most of the other students are 24. I don't look older (people are usually surprised when I tell them my age), but I am just in such a different place in my life. I'm with you - good food, conversation. Sometimes I wonder if just my being married has something to do with it.

I was so happy to start my field placement. Almost everyone in my office is my age. Now if only my apartment were big enough to have more people over for dinner.

[Natasha]

Originally posted by Gail:
[B]Want me to dust off the tired old line comparing growing older to aging a bottle of fine wine? Sure you do. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif You expect that of me, don'tcha? (hic)[B]

You bet. In fact, that was the main reason I started this thread http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif Seriously, thanks for your thoughts, O Wise One. [Toasting you with glass of you-know-what and breaking out into song (My Way.....).]

Laura, I think you have a great attitude. Thanks also for your post.

Well, luckily I don t feel old anymore; it was just for a few minutes yesterday (birthdays can do that to you, even when you re still young). Some people don t seem to react at all to birthdays but every year I have to take a few minutes to get used to my new age. I still feel 23 in most ways, but 23 was a few years ago now! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/tongue.gif My friends thought I was nuts for feeling old... Anyway, it did get me thinking about how scared many people are of aging so I thought I would post this topic.

[Natasha]

Originally posted by kwormann:
To put a different spin on this, I feel myself getting older in ways I swore I never would (Im 30).

The females I hang around with are all a few years younger (24-27) and are in to things I dont have interest in....groups like N'Sync (what I call teenage music), teenage movies (those geared at teenagers) and I have zero interest in those things. I love cooking, having a drink at a quiet place where you can have a conversation, not a noisy smoky bar or club. I always said I would never stop being a teenager, but somewhere, sometime, I drifted out of it.

When did that happen???? I feel out of touch with my friends and I dont consider them younger chronologically. Has anyone else experienced this???? I dont feel sad that Im 30, just sad that I feel ive left people behind.

Kim

Kim,
I m sure this happens to lots of people. I can t tell you how often friends and I have drifted away from one another because of a lack of common interests. Somebody can be your best buddy for years and suddenly you find that you re growing apart. It is sad, but probably inevitable.

On the flipside, one of the most incredible things about life (IMHO) is the opportunity to meet new, dynamic people. What are the teachers like at your school? And the people in your supper club? And community groups, sports groups, volunteer work etc. are always great ways to meet all kinds of people. (Oops, sounds like I m preaching, which I m not ... just suggesting ...). http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[hhcowgirl]

Yikes! Just wanted to put in a plug for us in the 24-27 age range--I promise we do not all like smoky clubs and groups like NSYNC!! I for one would rather share a bottle of wine in a cozy spot with BF or a few close friends and listen to some of the incredible live music this city has to offer any day. Please don't think our age group is all like this--it truly just depends on how/where you were raised, went to school, etc.

[hipchick]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Natasha:
[B]Okay, guys, I had a short spell of feeling kind of old this morning

I had to post something because tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. And, I don't really care. Although I don't let on, because I don't want to miss out on potential presents or excuses to eat cake.

I have been practicing yoga for a couple of years and my teacher says you are as young as your spine is flexible. I think this has really helped my whole attitude about age. I am in the best shape of my life now. I wasn't anywhere near as active as I am now when I was a teenager or a kid. All the activity makes me feel young, plus I think it helps my skin tone.

So tomorrow I'll be 33. And I'll get up, and do a couple of sun salutations, and the day will be good.

Happy Birthday to the rest of you aquarians out there!

[kwormann]

DOnt worry HHcowgirl, I dont think all 24 year olds have those interests...wanna move to Houston (tee hee)

Hipchick...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! http://www.321clipart.com/images6/occasions/occ10.gif (I have been taking graphic lessons from Mamasue}

Natasha...The supper club has met once, but I feel has great potential! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by kwormann (edited 02-04-2001).]

[MrsReber]

What great words of wisdom here. My grandmother who is 82 now is one of the wisest people I know. I discussed getting older with her many times. She has seen many friend pass on, but when I asked her if she'd want to be young again, she said no. She said she could not know all that she knows now. She has experienced many things in her lifetime, though her past was considered pretty racy at the time! I can only hope when I am her age that I can look back on my life as she does- mistakes and all- and accept it all with no regrets.

Kim, I can relate to your problem. I am 31 and my husband is 32 (soon to be 33). We look at other "kids" now who are 20 and 21 and think "what a bunch of weirdos!" I mean, whatever happened to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin? Some of them don't know who Rod Stewart is. There are concerts I'd love to go to, but I feel like I'm too old to go to them. I do find however, now that I am married and have a baby on the way, I have much better relationships with other married women with or without children. I guess because we understand each other better. So older is not always a bad thing. Like Gail said, the learning only stops if we let it. As for schooling, my 40 year old co-worker just started going to school again for her Masters degree. She just got her Bachelor's degree last May after 8 long years of school. She much prefers working on assignments with the "older" students than with the just out of high school crowd. They just don't appreciate the value of a good education at that age.

[Don]

I have to admit, the co-worker that I am most involved with at work is a 22 year old recent college grad, and do I feel old at times! But it's a good feeling. When she talks about her frustrations with family, boyfriends, etc., I just smile and think "been there, done that." But what I have learned from her more than anything else is that age has allowed me to define myself and what I value in life. When I think back, I was very similar to my co-worker in that I obsessed over all of the things that Madison Avenue told me were important (good looks, money, fancy cars, nice clothes, etc.) It took a long time to realize that those things are not what life's about. I wouldn't trade that insight for all the money in the world. Even the horrible things that have happened in my life have led to a new insight or a growth experience. And I'd go through each and every one again. I earned the peace that I have now.

[McSix]

Okay, I'll be the oldest (unless I'm so old I missed someone else's posting). I'm 46 and happier than I've ever been. After gaining 40 pounds and thinking "okay, this is middle age," three years ago I lost the weight, began weightlifting and cadio activities, and watched my two children go off to college. My husband and I have a wonderful, very romantic relationship that I would have loved to have had during our frantic earlier days. Please don't worry about getting older-just keep yourself healthy! Your 40s are a wonderful time of life when you truly appreciate who you are (even if you really would like fewer gray hairs and "livelier" eyes!).

[Natasha]

Don, I thought that was an extremely insightful response. Thanks for posting it. It s terrific if you can make even the worst experiences work for you in the long run, by gaining insight or experience.

McSix, thanks for your response too. It sounds like you re at a very good stage in your life, and are enjoying it to the hilt http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif Keep it up.

[Jessica]

This is a great topic. I have been thinking about this lately because I will turn 30 this spring, as will many of my friends. Some of them are stressed but most, like me, are grateful to have made it this far. Sure, at 20 I was thinner and had a few more options open, but at almost-30 I have an interesting career, a loving husband, terrific friends and family and a great kitchen!!! I wouldn't trade this for those size-four jeans, ever ever ever.
I also feel like each year brings a little more serenity. Yes, serenity, not senility. I can roll with the punches more easily and not let little things ruin a day or a friendship.
At each birthday, my 58-year-old mother says, "Well, it beats the alternative." She sets a wonderful example.
As for the grey hair and wrinkles, I dye one and feel like I have earned the other http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif