Whee! Early Thanksgiving

[Beth]

I am about to have my kitchen torn out and redone and the goal is to have it done by Thanksgiving. Well, whether it is or isn't, we're going to have a great Thanksgiving. My dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, and they were surprised by the extent of it when they did the biopsy. The entire area was involved, and if it had spread it was not considered treatable. The spot on my Dad's chest xray was at least one reason for deep concern.

Last week we go the scan results and this week he met with the pulmonary specialist. No indications that it has spread. He has begun radiation and seems to be tolerating it well so far. I am so relieved, so glad and so grateful.

My dad has been the fultime caretaker for my mom, who is nearing advanced Alzheimer's. They have been together for 54 years, day and night since I was quite young and my dad started his own insurance agency. I'm not sure how my dad will take losing my mom, but I know that if my mom lost my dad, she would go downhill rapidly. I cannot begin to tell you how hard it was to contemplate the loss of both of my parents, and the only grandparents my boys have really known, in the near future. I know the day will come, but it's not knocking at my door now.

And I'm so proud of my 10 yr old for hearing about his grandfather on Monday and using it to help him focus and do well on a major, timed (3 minute) math test yesterday. After we talked about how important school work and doing well is to his poppa, he got past his tears and pulled it together over the next couple of days. He got a 100!

I only hope the kitchen pulls together half this well now. I look forward to cooking for the whole family over the holidays. :)

[Terri_A]

Beth,

That's great news! I know you are relieved that your father is doing well and that the cancer is localized. Hang in there during the kitchen remodel...I have some friends who have been through it and I know it's not easy. Just keep thinking of the end result!!!

[SusanL]

Prayers coming your way for you parents! It can be very difficult. Way to go on your son's timed math test! You can be proud of him!!

[lindrusso]

Hi Beth. :) I'm so glad to open this and hear some good news for you.

I know what you mean about worrying about your mom if something happens to your dad. DH's dad has Alzheimer's and I have no idea what he'd do if something happened to MIL. He depends on her for everything - partly because he needs help, but partly because she's the only one he wants helping her.

Best wishes for the best possible outcome for your dad.

How is your mom doing?

Have fun, fun, fun with the kitchen remodel. Are you taking pictures? We love to see kitchen remodels!

Take care!

[DmOrtega]

Cherish each and every moment with all of the people in you life that mean the most to you because you are blessed by the love of those people.

[Beth]

Thanks everyone. I know what lies ahead, both kitchen and parents, will not all be easy, but both are labors of love and so much lighter today than a week or two ago when I couldn't even post about them.

Mom has been on aricept and another medication for some time -- couple of years, and I think it has held her pretty steady. Dad told me she couldn't remember my birthday recently, and that's one of the first glimpses of regression I've heard of. Most of the time, when I see her, she seems like her normal self still -- until you get into a conversation that repeats itself. At the family reunion last weekend, she asked me if I knew who her cousin was (she moved away years ago, but I grew up knowing her and have seen her every few years since). Dad has been watching her medication, taking her out for lunch and dinner most days and having her go with him many places so that she stays more active and alert. He tests her by asking her questions and hasn't let her slide as much as I'm sure she would living alone or in a facility.

Dad is happier, you can tell. He enjoyed challenging my oldest son in conversation last week and now he's saying they will continue to spend our inheritance. He's back to his normal self in that regard.

I'm trying to nail down my decisions on the vent hood (one we wanted is a 3 month wait) and the countertops. Waiting on a sealer sample and another bid. I'll stilll be picking out the backsplash tile and hardware as they get started. It's getting a little hairy, but all still workable. I don't really care if the hood and backsplash are done right away -- if the sink, cooktop and ovens are working, I can be happy for a while. And yes, I'll take pictures.

On of the more interesting challenges -- we've been trying to have Mom & Dad over for dinner once a week. The camping kitchen dinners could be interesting. We may have to resort to going to their house and cooking, but that seems to confuse Mom. We'll figure something out.

DM -- you are right. I told both of my boys that this is a blessing that we have a reminder to share and value our time with them. We could just as easily lose them suddenly, not have a time to say goodbye and live with that regret. We don't have to do that, and that's something that's worth so much. We're looking at everything as possitively as possible.

[Natasha]

Hi Beth,

Sounds like you've had some challenging times lately. I'm so glad things are looking up on various fronts. Good luck with the kitchen reno!

Natasha

[Robyn1007]

Beth,

You are woman of such strength and perserverance and I know you'll get through this time and help your family to get through it. You once told me to think of a beloved receiving all of the love she gives out back as she went through cancer treatment. I hope and pray that your father will receive that same love as he goes through his. Good luck with the kitchen remodel!

Robyn

[dreamer]

Beth,
I read your posts and can see you have been dealing with so much- and dealing with it well. Just wanted to add my wish for you that your dad's treatment goes well... and that you continue to have whatever you need to get through the challenges... and have a happy Thanksgiving!

dreamer

[colleency]

(((Beth)))

[Beth]

Beth,

You once told me to think of a beloved receiving all of the love she gives out back as she went through cancer treatment. I hope and pray that your father will receive that same love as he goes through his.

Thanks. Me too. My father is not the easiest man to deal with sometimes, but he is loving and generous, even to strangers. He once gave my mother's bicycle to a man who was walking his broken bike that he rode to work -- drove him home and gave him the bike. He took great pleasure if doining something unexpected for someone like that, and I remember asking him, "What if Mom wants to ride her bike?" He said, "Then I'll buy her a new one." And he did.

He's never been a good patient. He toughs out everything and can be miserable when he can't. I know this has been hard on him, but I too hope he will find and be able to accept the love and random kindnesses he has given throughout his life.

Robyn, I've been grateful to hear that your aunt has done so well. I found comfort in those words when I sent them to you, but it feels even better to see reflections of them coming to pass and her getting better and stronger. ((( )))