News from the Pregnant Susans?

[BeckyM]

I haven't seen anything from the pregnant Susans lately, so I'm wondering how you're doing! I love reading your posts, partially because my husband and I have been talking about starting a family, and reading about others' experiences helps me understand better what I should expect. But also it's just fun to "hear" the excitement in your words and to feel like we're there alongside you. I'd love to hear the latest news, and I'm sure others would too!

Becky http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[SusanD]

Goodness! Susan & I have been so busy emailing each other, we didn't realize we were missed! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Everything is going well, other than I'm starting to feel like a big ol' hippo! I just passed the 30-week mark on saturday, which means only 10 more weeks to go. I can't believe how fast this has gone. I'm getting really excited to have my baby (although not for the actual delivery part, if there was some other way to do that I'd be thrilled). At my last dr. appointment I had to take a glucose test to check for gestational diabetes. It wasn't too bad, I basically had to slam down a cold bottle of orange soda (which made me very burpy), wait for an hour and then have my blood drawn. I passed the glucose part but found out that I'm anemic, so now I have to take iron supplements. It's very important at this stage that I get plenty of iron, protein and calcium.

Baby's moving around like crazy, some days more so than others. One night she actually kept me awake with all her kicking. It was kind of fun at first, but then I just wanted her to stop so I could get back to sleep. Other than that one night I've been able to get good quality sleep - which I've heard can be a problem later in pregnancy. The toughest part these days has been major pain in the ligaments in my lower abdomen. If I stand for too long, or get up to walk after having been sitting for a long period (especially at the end of the day), it really kills. I've also had a touch of sciatica (sp?) on my right side which bothers my hip and lower back. Not too bad, though.

Becky, I remember you saying you were going to start trying this spring...is that still the plan? Please keep us posted, now that I'm almost through I'd love to hear someone else go from start to finish! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

p.s. I was flipping through a baby magazine this weekend and found an ad for a website called verybestbaby.com - wonder if it's any relation to that "other" website we keep getting reminded of on the food BB? http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif

[This message has been edited by SusanD (edited 02-19-2001).]

[MrsReber]

Uh oh, our absence was noticed! Susan, I got a free magazine in the mail from verybestbaby.com! I am pretty sure it's the same folks. Boy, they'll try to cash in on anything!

I just had my gestational diabetes test, too, but I don't know the results yet. I had another doctor's appointment last Friday and everything seems to be going along just fine. My next appointment will be in another four weeks. I guess they'll cut me down to every 2 weeks then.

Becky, I can't even describe how incredible (and how weird) it is to have this baby moving around all the time. Sometimes baby gets into a weird position and it actually hurts when I get kicked. I have to wonder, though, what's it going to be like after the baby is born and there's no more baby moving in my belly. I guess then we'll have to work on number two! My husband is already asking me when we can have the second one. Yikes!

I have the ligament pain, too. I hadn't heard about it or read about it in any books. The doctor told me it's just the ligaments stretching out along with the uterus. Ouch! But I still try to work out. I find the eliptical trainer at the gym works well since your body weight is pretty much evenly distributed. It seems to really hurt when all my weight is on my right side (that's where the pain is). The other night, baby was getting all cozy on that side and kicking me right where the pain was. It was not fun. It seems alot better today, though, so maybe baby found a new spot. I really wish I could see what was going on inside when I feel all this movement. I wonder each time if it was a foot or a hand or what.

Sorry we haven't been posting. As Susan said, we were emailing each other, but we'll try to be better and keep everyone updated! It's nice to know that everyone is so caring. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[SusanD]

Susan, glad to hear your dr appointment went well!

We started our baby classes last Thursday, it was actually very interesting. I think we're going to enjoy them (yes, even Jay too)! You know how every class has those teachers pets who take everything so darn seriously...well I think we've got a pretty cool group of people. Everyone including the teacher seemed to have a sense of humor. One of the first things we did was to have all the moms go on one side of the room and all the dads & support people on the other side, and we each did a big list of the best and worst parts of pregnancy. The top of the guys' "best" list was "designated driver". Second was "future tax deduction". The top of the moms' "best" list was "shopping & decorating". Then after that we had a discussion about labor and how to tell if it's the real thing, and what exactly happens to your body during labor. The only cheesy part was at the very end when she did this relaxation exercise. We all had to lay on the floor and spoon with our husbands and she turned out the lights and played this new-age music while giving this narrative about "you're walking through a field, the sky is crystal blue with soft white clouds gently floating overhead...". I could feel Jay starting to shake with laughter so I had to give him an elbow.

I agree with you, I think I'm going to miss having the baby inside me. It really is a wonderful and comforting feeling (most of the time http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif). Many times I can touch my stomach and feel a body part - it's pretty amazing! I've had a few of the Braxton-Hicks contractions, they don't hurt at all, just kind of a strange sensation that lasts for a few seconds. The instructor told us that being dehydrated can actually cause more of them, so she said it's really important to drink lots of fluids.

Becky, thanks again for asking...it really is nice to have so many people to share this with! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[MrsReber]

Susan, you know about my fiasco with the last doctor's appointment- I didn't mention that I "lost" four pounds in one week! Could it be the exercise? Could it be that I wore sneakers and normal clothes instead of steel toed boots and a heavy sweater becuase it was cold and icy? When I told this doctor what the last one said about losing weight, she kind of rolled her eyes and told me that they can't advocate diet, just eating right (which I pretty much do anyway).

Oh boy, Kyle would not go for the relaxation exercise at all. He'll think that's really corny, too. Don't these people realize it's already an accomplishment to get our husbands to attend these classes? Ha- I'm sure designated driver is at the top of my husband's list as well. It really doesn't bother me, though, I just make him drive to all the places and then I agree to drive home, but I won't do both!

My mom bought me a baby book over the weekend. I have to stop and have dinner with her on my way home tonight. She has baby clothes she bought for me and she wants to take me to dinner since her fiance is out of town for a week. Gee, I guess if she HAS to take me to an Italian restaurant, I can't let her down.

We are trying to plan a short weekend trip to our property in VA within the next four weeks. It's a 6 hour drive. We'll just have to stop alot! My sister posted a few pictured from VA on our website. I miss it when I see those pictures. Plus, if we go there, my sister and her family will drive up to see us since she's only about an hour and a half from there.

[BeckyM]

SusanD and MrsReber,

Thanks for posting! I was hoping you wouldn't think I was being nosy. I just love reading about your real-life experiences -- nothing that has been edited just to sell a book better!

I am excited for both of you! And yes, we're still discussing trying this spring, though we haven't set an exact timing yet. I did go have a "consult" visit with my ob/gyn, and I asked him a whole list of questions. They did take blood to test for Rubella immunity, and I'm supposed to get those results back this week. And assuming those come back fine, we could start any time. They also gave me a prescription for pre-natal vitamins to start taking as soon as I go off the pill.

But we're also wanting to take a big, exciting vacation sometime this spring/summer, so we want to get those plans figured out before we start trying to get pregnant. I don't want to be someplace really cool (the Alps and Costa Rica are among our potential destinations) and have morning sickness or anything!

But I am starting to get excited (and a bit nervous) about the whole prospect. I read a book by Parenting Magazine about pregnancy & childbirth, and I thought it was very helpful. (I wouldn't have understood the reference to Braxton-Hicks contractions before reading it!) I also bought another book that was referenced on a post a while ago -- I think it was called "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" or something like that. I had seen it mentioned by several people, and it was on sale, so I couldn't resist. I haven't read that one yet though. I thought maybe I'd save it for when we're actually trying or once we get pregnant. It's somewhat superstitious, I know, but I don't want to get too into this ahead of time, or I'm worried I'll jinx things.

Good luck to both of you, and I'll look forward to hearing more -- especially about your successful deliveries!

Becky

[BethH]

I'm so glad to get an update as well! I love hearing all about you guys and your experiences. Stay healthy and remember that we are all thinking about you! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[SusanD]

Why, thank you Becky and Beth! It sure is fun to have others to share this with! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Becky, good luck to you! I understand about wanting to take a big trip beforehand, I think it's important to have some fun time together. Both of those places sound awesome! We actually took three trips this summer - a week in Jackson Hole at our friends' brother's ranch, four days in Denver and then five days in Maine. However, due to things happening a little sooner than planned, I was pregnant for two of those trips. I've heard that "The Girlfriend's Guide" is supposed to be good! I never bought it just because I have so many other books and magazines that it's hard to find time to read them all. One of my friends got me "Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul", well I gave up on that one because all the stories made me cry. I'd just sit there reading and sniffling till finally I decided this is stupid (not to mention my husband was making fun of me big time).

Susan, I think it's funny that your weight changed so quickly...I bet it was the boots & heavy clothes! I always take my shoes off to get on the scale because I don't want that extra pound or two to show up on my records. What a silly girl I am. How was dinner with your mom? Italian sounds delicious. I may have to make some pasta for dinner tonight. Yes, it's 8:40 in the morning and once again my mind is on food. I saw the pictures of your VA land on your website. How beautiful! I can see why you love spending so much time there!

We've got class #2 tomorrow night - hopefully we won't be seeing any movies. That's the part I dread the most. I know I'll psyche myself out about the delivery and spend the next 2.5 months stressing about it.

Everyone have a good day! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[MrsReber]

It sure is fun to have people to share this with. It's all I want to talk about, but I have to be considerate when people want to talk about other things. But then I can come to the BB and spill my guts!

I'm sure my quick weight loss was due to clothing. I don't see how I could've burned all those calories to lose 4 pounds in one week. It could be water, too. Hard to tell anymore.

Becky, I was pregnant for our last camping trip, only I didn't know it at the time. Now I think back and laugh. I didn't realize then that's why I was so tired and hungry! I got mad at my husband because I was starving and there was nothing that I wanted to eat. I thought it was just a bout of pms. I didn't really get morning sickness, but I was queasy for a while. It really didn't hit until the end of the first month. Scared? I'm still scared. It's all scary and there's so many things you can be scared of- is the baby okay? What about delivery? What if I get sick? I haven't felt the baby move for an hour, is the baby okay? Did I gain too much, too little? Not eating right? The list is endless. With all my fears, I knew I had to just jump in and go for it. And now we couldn't be happier. I'm scared everyday, but it's offset by the excitement.

As far as baby books, I didn't read any early, either. I actually didn't feel pregnant or believe that I was really pregnant for a few months, so I just felt weird reading books. What to Expect When You're Expecting is probably the most helpful. I haven't sat down to read it cover to cover, but I use it more for reference. For instance, I've drop everything nowadays. I read the book and sure enough, during the sixth month, it says this is common. You could go crazy reading all the books with all the conflicting information. As for the Girlfriend's Guide, I heard that it's best to take it with a grain of salt. I hear it's amusing, but not exactly realistic. I haven't read it personally. My mom just bought me another book called Baby Wise. I just started looking through it last night. They help you to devise a plan to get baby to sleep through the night. Happy parents make a happy baby! Good luck. I hope you decide to try soon. It really is exciting and maybe us pregnant Susans can give you moral support when the time comes!

Susan, dinner was good. Stuffed rigatoni in vodka sauce. Dangerous. I know I ate too much! And of course what meal would be complete without heartburn afterwards? She gave me the clothes, blankets and shoes that she bought, too. It's funny, we did buy the same exact onesie, but that's okay. She also bought another outfit that I almost bought. I had it in my hand and put it back, figuring I'd spent enough. It's all in the same line as the stuff I bought so it all matches. Does this woman know my taste or what?

I just love our VA land. We are casually looking into building a log home there. The dream is to live there one day, but we'll see. We need to put together a plan. We camped there for three days and only saw one car drive by. We are so disgusted when we get back to our house and the town drunk is walking around, people are speeding down our block and the police are driving around. We live in a rather safe area, but there's just too much going on and not enough quiet. Kyle wants to go turkey hunting next month on our property. The season opens mid-April. I told him he can't go- who ever will pull me up when I get stuck in the couch???

[karen w]

Mrs. Reber,

It's scary to hear you talk about all your fears. You sound just like me when I was pregnant. If that's any reassurance to you!! And the worrying does not stop(unfortunately) after they are born. It just becomes different, but well worth it!!!

By the way, with all three of mine I always lost at least 2-3 #'s on my last Dr.'s appt. before I went into labor. I know you are not at this point yet, but don't be alarmed if that does happen at the very end. Apparently it is not that uncommon or worrisome. Good luck to both of you!!

Karen

[MrsReber]

Karen, I guess we all have some of the same fears. I also know that this is only the beginning! It'll be so scary and strange to be bringing home a baby to live with us. I keep thinking "are we really ready for this?" and "what have we gotten ourselves into?" but I have to say, the love far outweighs everything else. I love my husband and I'm crazy about him. Now we have this third person that we'll both love (and we already love) and it just seems to grow from there.

I hope I lose a few pounds! My sister says you lose some right away from the weight of the baby and the placenta and then, a couple of weeks later, she says you lose alot of water. I have been so hungry these past two days- and so so very tired. I am just exhausted. I wanted to go to the gym and get some exercise, but I can hardly move. It's rough getting through the workday. Are my 2nd trimester "high energy" days over? I'm quickly approaching the third trimester. Yikes! Normally, if I felt like this, I'd push myself, but now I am afraid. I've been a bit dizzy feeling, too, so exercise may have to wait until I am feeling a little better.
Big snow storm coming tonight! They say 4-6 inches and then they say the storm hasn't formed yet, so they don't really know what's going to happen. I love weather forecasts. In what job can you be wrong 60% of the time and still get paid?

[SusanD]

Well Susan, you should know that your italian dinner sounded so good that I had pasta on my mind all day and made chicken tortellini for dinner last night. Yum! That's funny that your mom bought the same onesie...now if one gets dirty you'll still have the other one! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

I stopped at Kids R Us the other day, one of my co-workers told me about their giant clearance sale. Even though I'm on hiatus from buying baby clothes for awhile, I did pick up a couple of things - one of those little gowns with elastic at the bottom (they are SOOO cute, and my SIL said they're great for middle of the night diaper changes), and a pair of 12-month size corduroy overalls that she can wear next winter.

It's good to hear that my fears and concerns aren't unusual. I'm constanty worrying that I haven't felt the baby move lately, or that I'm missing something in my diet and the baby's not getting enough nourishment. Or what if the baby isn't born healthy? I feel like such a worrywart, and I know that worrying causes stress which isn't good either...but I can't help it. It helps to know that I'm not the only one, though. I guess all moms-to-be have some of that, don't they?

I heard about another book that's supposed to be very good, it's called "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". It was written by this woman who's been a nanny forever (and to a lot of celebrities), and now works as a consultant on baby care. I think I'm going to go try to find it.

I too have heard that you lose 10-15 pounds right away after delivering. That will be nice! I really am trying not to consume too many sweets/calories, but sometimes I just can't help myself! I'm starting to get really tired again too. Last night I fell asleep during the West Wing (which is my favorite show) so Jay sent me to bed at 9:00. I'm getting sleepy during the day too which hasn't happened since my first tri. At least I'm not having trouble sleeping at night, though. I've heard that most women have problems sleeping at night during the third tri, my SIL said it was brutal. Fortunately right now the only thing keeping me from getting a good night's sleep is having to get up & go to the bathroom. Susan, don't push yourself - the most important thing right now is rest, especially because now's your last chance to get it! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif

Whoops...meeting in 10 minutes! Gotta run!

[JoanneOR]

I really enjoy reading about your pregnancies and can relate to all your fears and excitement! I have three boys ages 18 mos., 3 yrs. and 4yrs. I had all the same fears through each of the pregnancies and they were all healthy beautiful babies! You are going to love motherhood. It is the best and most rewarding thing you can do, even with all its trials and tribulations. My husband is trying to talk me into baby number four, because he really wants a girl. I really can't decide, but I think he may talk me into it. Anyway lots of luck with your new babies. I can't wait to hear all about them after they arrive!

[MaryH]

Sort of off topic a bit but verybestbaby.com is the Nestle/Carnation site. It is good to know if you feed your baby Carmation formula - Good Start and FollowUp - because registering there will get you their magazine which contains coupons. You cannot get the coupons anywhere else that I'm aware of (except with purchase of the product). Carnation formula is cheaper than Enfamil or Similac. And although this is a bit "premature", if you plan to formula feed (or for other reasons breast feeding is not an option) I have used this with my second daughter and would recommend it if your baby has problems with gas from other formulas.

[MrsReber]

Susan, so much for your hiatus from buying clothes! I want to buy more stuff, too. I might this weekend, but the weather is supposed to be awful both days. I get confused about how many outfits I need for 0-3 months, 3-6 months and 6-9 months. I'm sure that Grandma will be back at the Carter's outlet soon, though. I love those baby gowns, but the one's I've seen have been expensive so far. I need a good sale! My MIL works at JC Penny and I think all of their Carter's stuff is on sale this week.

I know what you mean about not being able to help yourself. I try to stay away from the sweets, too. In general, I don't even want them. And they give me heartburn. Gotta love that. But if they're in front of me, I tend to eat them anyway. Sometimes I am just so hungry that I need to eat whatever is convenient.

I keep waking up around 3:00am and not being able to get right back to sleep. It didn't happen last night because I was so tired! I was leaning on my husband while I was sleeping last night (he makes a wonderful body pillow) and he started laughing. The baby was kicking so hard that he could feel it on his side! Of course, he put his hand on my belly and all movement ceased. I figured that baby would settle down today, but he's still at it. I didn't wake up at all last night after going to bed, though. I am just exhausted. I hate to blow off the gym, but like everyone tells me, if you're that tired, your body is trying to tell you something. Hope I'm not getting sick!

Joanne- you inspire me! I'd love to have three or four kids, just don't know if we can afford it! And we have to see how the first one goes. I know we really want at least two. I figure my lot in life is three, though. My brother (the firstborn) had one child. My sister (the middle child) had two children, so I figure it's up to me to have three! I am so scared of delivery, but I really can't wait to see our baby- and find out if it's a boy or a girl!

[Kristilyn1]

The Susan's

Don't be scared of delivery!!! Assuming you have doctors that make you feel comfortable and a hospital (or other birthing location) that makes you feel comfortable, they take such good care of you and there are soooo many options for pain, stress, etc. I found the actual deliveries--the ONLY part of being pregnant I enjoyed! No, I don't think I'm crazy....It was so nice to be pampered and have people fetch and carry for me and come visit. I found the actual inconveniences and uncomfortableness of being pregnant, much more unpleasant than the delivery.

Kristi, who would have more than two children if she could check into the hospital and come out with a baby a day later.

[MrsReber]

Kristi- thanks for the inspiration! I guess everyone is different and you just don't know what delivery will be like. My husband's cousin told me her horror story. I just love that everyone has to share their most awful stories with me at this time, including my MIL who told me about a miscarriage in her 5th month of pregnancy! Anyway,my husband's cousin said she was in horrible pain. Her doctor left her for 2 hours and by the time the doctor came back, they missed the window for the epidural. She hadn't gone to any birthing classes either, figuring she'd get drugs. Big mistake! I hope my delivery goes smoothly. My husband tells me that I'm so conscious of being healthy and trying to eat right and exercise that I'll have no problem. I hope he's right! I don't really mind being pregnant at all. Sure, it can get uncomfortable and I feel huge these past few days, but I am overall pretty happy- except last night in the snowstorm. Almost three hours to get home and no bathroom in sight- and active baby bouncing on my bladder!! Ahhh!! Working from home today! It's too icy out for me to think about walking or driving anywhere.

MaryH, I did sign up for some coupons on someone's website, I can't remember which one it was, but I got pretty good coupons for J&J shampoo, powder, lotion, and pampers. I had some $1 and $1.50 coupons on pampers so I went out and bought them before the coupons expired. My friend suggested that, too. She said you'll go through them like crazy. I'm currently planning on breastfeeding, but who knows if it'll work out. I hope it does.

[SusanD]

Kristi - It's so good to hear you say that! My SIL and good friend both had very positive experiences too. I'm still a little nervous about the whole thing but it always helps to hear others' "success" stories. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

I'm 100% certain that I want an epidural. I figure I'd rather come away from the whole birthing experience with a positive feeling, rather than remembering what horrible pain I was in. I want to enjoy pregnancy #2 as much as I'm enjoying this one and not spend 9 months dreading the delivery!

Last night in our birthing class they showed a video of a woman who didn't use any drugs at all. She looked like she was in sooo much pain! Plus, she was completely buck-naked through the whole thing, which to me didn't seem like it would make the situation any easier or more comfortable. Fortunately after the video, the first thing our instructor said was "You can wear a gown if you want to - we don't make you go naked." Then she said she had another video where the father/coach actually went naked too just to make the mom feel better. She said she'd show that one later on, it's pretty entertaining. She's going to try to take us on a tour of the birthing unit next week. Hooray - field trip! Plus she was running late last night so we got to skip the corny relaxation exercises at the end. Thank goodness!

Susan, I heard about your weather on the news this morning...ugh! Well, enjoy your day at home! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[Kristilyn1]

Well, this will start a whole discussion. Epidurals are about as controversial as breast vs. bottle.

While I certainly know that I "could have" done it without an epidural--I had one both times. It was sooo nice to sit and relax and talk with my husband until the pushing part--which don't worry, an epidural doesn't erase that whole experience! I do think that it's a pretty individual choice and don't let anyone "scare" you into either decision. My experience all around was pleasant, hence my idea that childbirth is the only part of being pregnant that I enjoyed. Definitely talk to your doctor ahead of time about epidurals if you even think you might want it. Typically the anesthesiologist does it and there has to be written orders for it. Hospital policies differ from organization to organization.

I had to laugh about the whole naked husband thing.....I think I would find that annoying, as if his being naked matters at a time like that. Of course everyone is different, and I am pretty liberal about nakedness in general, but I think most people would probably agree, once you're in there and in the thick of labor, you don't care if they broadcast the Super Bowl halftime show from your room--with you naked. I watched my sister have her baby, and she watched me have one of mine---I'm totally dying for someone else to ask me in--it's such a totally cool thing to watch. It's nice to have people in there, it's more people to fetch and carry!

Kristi
who obviously is obsessed with people fetching and carrying for me!

[MrsReber]

Susan, that is too funny about the naked husband! I don't think I'd want that. And I certainly wouldn't want to be totally naked. I mean, they're going to see enough of me as it is!

Well, I did work all morning. I am just taking a break between drafting contracts. I also have to gather some contract information for our commodities trading floor, so I have plenty to do! I have software that allows me to log on from home so I can access what I need to work and my email. I did take a break to eat and do some aerobics with my video. I needed to stretch out!

Kristi, my sister said that they were monitoring her contractions and she barely noticed them after the epidural. I think I'm probably more worried about my husband. Poor guy, he keeps saying how he just won't know what to do for me while I'm in pain. I told him there is nothing he can do. You know how men need to find a solution to every problem. They don't understand "just be there for me"- he wants to be able to erase the pain. Hopefully I won't miss the epidural window, but if it happens, it happens. I am scared of the pain. I hear the worst contractions are right before the baby is actually born and that they really don't last that long. I have lived most of my life with severe menstrual cramps each month before I started taking the pill. I could hardly get out of bed and was sent home from work many times. They wanted to take me to the hospital once (for cramps?!?!). I figure it can't be too too much worse than that. Not that it was pleasant, but I know that I lived through it. I saw my friend last weekend. She just had a baby in December. I keep telling her "I'm glad to see you walking around- it gives me hope!".

Well, I have to get back to my contracts. At least I can get them done in quiet- between the calls from the telemarketers.

[kwormann]

I have been reading "from afar", since DH didnt want kids (genetic medical problems, wanting "toys"), but I have decided that I do want one (NOW) and am trying to talk him into trying in June. I didnt gp back on the pill this month, hoping that if I can talk him into it, it will be a "go" in June. Did any of you have to talk DH into it? I told him he will still get "things"!

A hopeful mommy,

Kim

[KristaMB]

Kim,

I, too, have been reading from afar, but just had to post when I saw your comment. My husband and I are expecting our first baby in August. Although I didn't have to talk him into it, we are now having a very serious discussion about "toys". I want him to sell his motorcycle. I see no reason to keep it. He hardly ever rides it, and we are still making pretty substantial payments on it. I'd like to be a SAHM, so it just doesn't seem reasonable. Additionally, he is a full time student, so money is not exactly flowing freely. He has been pretty resistant to the idea, and even started riding it more (until the rain hit!) However, I'm sure I'll let him have his way and keep the bike, and the band/guitar equipment, etc. I think that there is a definite balance. Tell your DH that mine gets to keep a hardly used Honda sportbike. Maybe that'll help out with the "toys" discussion! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif

[This message has been edited by KristaMB (edited 02-23-2001).]

[kwormann]

Krista

Congrats! I would also like to SAH, but his insurance is awful and as a teacher, mine is pretty good. He actually has several toys, including an electric keyboard/piano and a drum set (dont know how we'll have room for those) He wants to have the $$ freedom if any other "needs"come along....his new thing is wanting a new couch (ours not comfy enough) and new dishes!

Kim

[This message has been edited by kwormann (edited 02-24-2001).]

[MrsReber]

Well, I didn't really have to talk him into kids. He always wanted them, he just kept pushing them off into the future. I kept telling him "honey, I want to be able to play with these children and not be going through menopause when they are 2". Then one day he said "okay, now is good". He kept saying I was healthy and it'd all be fine, he didn't seem to understand that the risk factor is higher for women as they get older. Anyway, hubby has plenty of toys. He has a street stock that he occasionally races. Everyone thought as soon as we got married, I'd make him give up the car. I told him to do what he wants. He raced before we met and that's who he is. Now with the baby, they all (including his MIL) are thinking "she'll make him sell it now!" but no. I told him it's up to him. It's not costing us anything, except a few parts here and there, but no big deal. And we need a new couch desperately! Not comfy enough for a pregnant woman. I have a hard time getting out of it. And hubby has a classic mustang that needs some work, too. And all of his hunting stuff. In all honesty, I would never ask him to give any of it up. He makes that choice, not me. All of those things contribute to who he is: the man I fell in love with (sappy enough??).

Anyway, the thing is, why do these men think they must give everything up? My husband seems to think he'll never hunt or fish again. I told him that's not true. Just as I shouldn't be expected to give up everything, neither should he. We are still people who have other roles (wife, daughter, sister, friend, husband, son, brother and friend) we just now will have new roles as mom and dad. This does not mean that life stops and we never do anything as a couple anymore. We will do family things and we will call grandma so we can do couple things. Both are equally important. I'll continue to work, I actually don't know if we could do it at all on just his salary.

[kwormann]

Here Here! I was telling MIL last night that my friends are so excited and already have planned a babysitting schedule and she said"you wont want to leave the baby and go out"...I certainly hope thats not the case! I have no intention of being so involved with my child that I use myself, but if MIL has also expressed this to DH, no wonder he's freaked!What is really funny is I am a teacher (2nd year) and I thought it had killed my hormones and I wouldnt want any, until recently...the clock started ticking!

I have already gone off the pill(for the 3 month period)and made an appt with OBGYN for consult and with a genetic counselor (DH has mild MD) and will continue to go as though all systems are go...maybe Ill just drag him along with me.....I figure if I wated to do these things when he was ready, then it would be several more months...Im hoping to talk him into trying about June....

Kim

[Kristilyn1]

I thought all this talk of convincing husbands was pretty interesting, but I thought I would weigh in with another method. The accidental method. My husband and I had just gotten engaged when I became the 4% or so of people who become pregnant with a diaphragm. My husband ranted and raved for a day. Not saying anything bad or making suggestions, but it was clear that he was just plain scared out of his mind. I was embarrassed beyond belief. I felt like a fool. We went back and forth about keeping our original wedding date, but when push came to shove, I realized that I was too embarrassed to be pregnant and not married, so we decided to move up the wedding. We were soooo clueless it wasn't even funny. When I look back now (and it was only 5 years ago!)we were laughable. We were busy renovating our first house and money was tight. I stacked wood for our fireplace and otherwise acted like I wasn't even pregnant. Of course I took care of my health, but made no concessions for the changes in my body. We attended one birthing class and house stuff interfered so we missed all the other classes. We were racing to have an actual kitchen and actually sheetrock and carpet a room for the baby. We assembled the crib and bought a changing table the day I went into labor two weeks early. I had no bag packed and we drove off to the hospital with nothing from home. When the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural, I asked her what it was. She was soooo scandalized. "Didn't you go to your birthing classes?" She actually was very kind, explained it to me and I ordered one right away, along with a ginger ale. Which I was told I shouldnt have, so I settled for ice. Looking back now, I know it sounds like we were about 12 years old with no sense of responsibility, but I was 25 and honestly thought you just got pregnant, drove to the hospital and had a baby. After having done it again, with all the facts I could gather, I realize that there was something of charm in the not knowing. It never even occurred to me to be afraid of the delivery and I wasn't.

The second time around, I had to lobby hard for six months for the Hubby Approval. He wanted to wait until we could afford it better, but I got him away for a romantic weekend, plyed him with alcohol and talked him into it.

Kristi

[kwormann]

My best friend (who wants to be an aunt), has offered me some tequila to get Scott drunk and take advantage of him.....


BTW, how many mg of folic acid were all of you on during pre-natal? Im taking 400 plus daily OJ, but is 400 enough, or is 800 the recommended????

Kim

[SusanD]

Wow! A very interesting conversation since I last checked in! Kim, I am so excited for you! Actually, our situation was kind of the opposite - DH was ready long before I was. He actually wanted to start trying right after our wedding 3 1/2 years ago. I was the one who wanted to wait - mostly because I was scared to death of being pregnant, but also because I wanted to have some semblance of organization to our lives before we brought another person into it. At the time, we were living in an apartment downtown, and my minimal requirement was that we at least be in a house. It helped, too, to see my SIL and a good friend go through pregnancy & delivery and come out saying how much they enjoyed it. It was only recently that I felt completely ready, and I'm glad I waited. Hubby & I couldn't be more excited! As for toys - we've simply had to make adjustments. Fortunately his hobbies aren't teribly expensive. Sailing - on a buddy's boat, so minimal cost to us, although he would love to have his own boat someday. The wine collection has had to stay as-is for awhile, although that's a hobby that he shares with my dad, so DOD has been helping to fund that one. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif Our season tickets for WI Badgers football are a must (can't give them up or we lose them for good) so that's been worked into the budget. I really wanted a new kitchen floor...but that's going to have to wait for now. I guess it's just a matter of prioritizing. Right now baby is #1 in our lives, and I wouldn't have it any other way. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Oh, in answer to your Folic Acid question - I honestly don't know how many mg are in my vitamins. I have cereal and OJ every morning, so that provides a healthy dose as well. Doc is also having me supplement my pre-natals with C (to keep me from catching a cold), E (I have borderline high cholesterol), Iron (anemic), and Calcium (need as much as you can get!). I had intended to be off the pill for 3 months, but I guess I was more fertile than I thought. I did do the advance checkup with my doctor, though, to get on the vitamins and make sure everything was in working order. As long as you have the opportunity, it never hurts to do a little advance planning! Best of luck to you - keep us posted on how things go!

Kristi, I had to laugh at your "method"! I'm sure you were plenty freaked out at the time, but do you look back at that time with some fondness now?

Whoops! I got so engrossed in baby thoughts I forgot about a meeting...

P.S. By the way, Susan, I had the strangest thing happen this weekend. We were in church, standing for a hymn, and all of a sudden I started feeling really hot and light-headed. Then everything started to go black like I was going to pass out! I sat down right away and felt better - and poor Jay got all freaked out. It was very wierd, I stayed seated for the rest of the service, and fortunately it hasn't happened again. I'm going to ask my dr. next week. Scary!

[This message has been edited by SusanD (edited 02-26-2001).]

[MrsReber]

Ha ha ha! Yes, alcohol can usually convince a man to have a child! It'd probably work! Anyway- The woman at GNC told me that 800mg is a good amount of folic acid if you want to become pregnant. I was taking a multivitamin at the time, too. She told me that most multis have around 400mg of folic acid in them so she suggested to take an addtional 400mg. I am not sure how many mg the prenatal vitamins have, but I'm sure it's the right amount!

Susan, it sounds to me like you just got up too fast and that's why things started going black. Our circulation is not the same as it once was! I find that I've been a bit dizzy, too. I get out of bed very slowly in the morning. The hormone levels can probably do that to you, too. It's probably nothing to worry about too much.

I believe we're taking a trip to VA on the 16th. My sister and her family will meet us there. I can't wait! I think I should be okay to go. It's still 2 1/2 months from my due date. We'll just have to stop often so I can stretch my legs- and use the bathroom, I'm sure!

[kwormann]

SusanD

How long did it take for you to get pregnant? We have been married for 7 years now...he actually told me yesterday(with coaxing) that he agrees to a baby, but think we are rushing things to start in June (ya'know, 7 years isnt enough). Now that's my next hurdle.....

We have an appt with a genetic counselor in May...Im anxious to see what he has to say!

Kim

[MrsReber]

From the other Susan:
We weren't even married a year when I got pregnant! I was off the pill for only one month when it happened. You just never know. It was the end of August and our one year anniversary was September 25th! I just always wanted kids and finally found the man that I wanted to raise them with. Why wait? I'm sure you'll convince your husband. He's probably just scared is all. I had to tell my husband that I was scared, too, but life is for the living and what better way to experience life than to create another life and to be able to see things through the eyes of that child? Each day becomes a miracle then. You have to just jump in and go for it. Good luck!

[karen w]

I have to pipe in with my 2 cents worth too, Kim. My husband and I were also just shy of our first anniversary when I got pregnant. I went off the pill in July, got pregnant in August, and our 1st anniversary was in December('95). At the time we both had some real potential infertility issues, and were concerned it might take time. Well, I turned out to be fertile myrtle(with all my conceptions!!) and my husband's potential problem did not become a reality.(he had bilateral epididymytis as a child. Those are the tubes which eject the sperm. This infection can scar those tubes and leave a man sterile.) He was analyzed before we even started trying, and as you can guess he was not sterile!!! Anyway to get to the 2 points I was initially going to make(and these are quotes from my husband):

"There is no good time to have a baby. If you want one(a baby), just do it." "They never do fit in to the schedule, but they are well worth it!"

and his second quote:
"They(babies/kids) ruin your life for the better."

So good luck Kim, and let us know if hubby will go for it.

Karen

[kwormann]

Without getting tooooo personal, last night (in a fit a passion), I talked him into not leaving the bed to go to the bathroom for condoms and later asked "would it be so tragic if I got pregnant?" (He has decided to agree to the baby, now we disagree about timing) Anyway, he said yes, because he just started a new job and he is stressed and the timing is wrong. I just cant win http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif I will share what your hubby said about timing http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif
Kim

[MrsReber]

Timing wrong? Ha! There is no "right" timing. Ever. My sister was married six months (after knowing her husband for less than 1 year) and found out she was pregnant. She says that they do wish they had more time together alone before kids, but she would not trade her kids for anything. I think the fact that we can plan pregnancy nowadays adds to the scare factor. It's a conscious decision anymore, it's not like it just happens. I think in most cases (except for SusanD's husband) if we waited around for men to be ready, we'd be waiting forever. I find that most men want kids, they are just scared by the responsibility and they feel that they have to give up their freedom. But, as Karen pointed out, kids are well worth it! I cannot imagine going through life never having a child and never being pregnant. I'd feel like I was really missing out on something. Good luck with your husband, Kim! He needs to realize what his fears are and to understand that you have fears, too, but together you can make it all work out.

[BeckyM]

My husband and I have been going through the whole thing about deciding timing too. When we first got married (just over two years ago), we said we wouldn't even discuss children for the first year. We knew we both wanted children eventually, but we wanted to at least have one year together without anyone else. At the one year point, I asked my husband if he was ready to start discussing kids, and he said not yet. So I waited patiently, and we started talking about it a bit this past fall. Then I decided to have LASIK eye surgery, and they recommend that you not be pregnant until 4-6 months afterwards, so I think my husband was a bit relieved at that.

So now we're coming up on four months after my eye surgery. My husband has theoretically agreed that this timing is good and that we probably shouldn't wait too much longer (he's 35 and I'm 31), but he's still scared. He is worried about how we'll get everything done, since we already don't seem to have enough time for all we want to do. I told him we'll just have to re-prioritize, but that he and the baby would be my top priorities. We also have already talked about me possibly changing to part-time work once we have kids, so I told him that should help. I did admit to him that I'm not sure how we'll do it either, but that other couples manage, and they all say having kids is worth it.

I think my husband is finally realizing how much I want a child, and he knows he wants one too, but he is nervous about the whole thing. I haven't given any ultimatums or anything like that, because that's not the type of relationship we have. I have tried to understand his point of view, and I have tried to help him see mine, and I think he is finally getting mentally ready to take the plunge. Of course we haven't absolutely committed to a time yet, but I think we're close. Wish us luck! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

By the way, I think it helped that we spent Saturday night with another couple who have an absolutely darling 15-month old. Their daughter was a complete delight the entire evening, and the couple seems to love parenthood, so I think my husband is getting a better mental picture that it's not ALL diapers and crying and getting up in the middle of the night.

[SusanD]

I agree with everyone else here...there really is no "right" time to get pregnant. Even though we were both ready and the timing seemed good for us, things just have a way of popping up. Shortly after we found out that I was pregnant we went through a major crisis in my husband's family. And then recently my husband lost his job. Fortunately all has ended well, and my husband has a couple of good job prospects on the horizon. But it just goes to show, that life has a funny way of not letting you get too comfortable. The most important thing is just to make sure that no matter what else, your baby is loved and nurtured, and the rest will fall into place! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif It sounds like you & your husband are both ready, you just need to jump in and do it (no pun intended...OK Susan get your mind out of the gutter). I really am excited for you...it is such a wonderful time and I never really thought I'd be this happy! And by the way, in answer to your first question, there was no "trying" involved. I thought for sure it would take at least a month or two...surprise! Needless to say my husband was quite pleased with himself, he kept running around yelling "He shoots, he scores!"

Becky, I just read your post. Finances were one of the toughest hurdles for us to cross, too. Especially with my husband being let go from his job - we've had to really re-think how we're going to do things. I'm going back to work for 4 days with the hopes of cutting back to 3 at some point, but insurance has been a huge concern. We were all going to go onto my husband's insurance so that I would have the flexibility with my hours - however, now it looks like we're all going to be on mine (depending on how quickly he finds a new job). I've had to do a whole lot of soul-searching lately, and realize that even though things are difficult we still have a lot to be thankful for (namely the baby), and that we're not the only people who struggle sometimes. I've gained a lot of perspective from other people on this BB, it really helps to see that there are others out there who have the same concerns and difficulties that we do. I'd like to thank all of you for that!!!!

Kim and Becky, I'd like to wish both of you the best of luck...I'm sure that once you're pregnant, your husbands will be as excited as you are! Once they get past that initial fear (I can say that I was terrified when I first saw that little line appear on the home pregnancy test), everything will be great! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by SusanD (edited 02-27-2001).]

[Kristilyn1]

I just wanted to pass on something my doctor told me--that you are most fertile when you first go off the pill.

Another is that of the 4 couples that I know that have "decided" they want children, all of them are experiencing serious fertility problems. My sister is on her 4th attempt at invitro, one man had a blocked "tube" and the other two have no idea what the problem is, but it has been more than six months. There is no good time to have a baby--but there are NO GUARANTEES. Babies can't be ordered off a menu and delivered on schedule. Men (IMHO) most of all need to understand this. While I am apparently incredibly fertile, like a lot of women on this board--we are the minority. I'm not trying to scare anyone, just that all these things need to be considered when you are deciding on a family.

Good luck to all, and I hope everyone gets pregnant the moment they WANT to and not a moment sooner or later for that matter!

Kristi

[kwormann]

wouldnt it be nice to be able to decide the right time? for me it would be july, so I would deliver in may in time for school to be out....not that easy, huh??? Susan, sorry to hear about hubbys job....since scott just started a new one, he is nervous about that aspect...i am feeling more confident, though, every day that things will work out. i think all of your stories have helped, and it is fun to go thru the pregnancies with all of you!

kim

[SusanD]

Thank you, Kim! Like I said earlier, some of the people on this BB have made such a difference in my outlook on life. I only hope that I can have the same positive impact on someone else! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

I laughed when you said that July would be the perfect time for you to get pregnant. I kept telling my husband that I wanted to get pregnant in late summer/early fall so that I would deliver in early summer. Little did I know that it would happen so quickly! I ended up being pregnant for my best friend's bachelorette party and wedding, so in that respect I wouldn't have minded if it took at least a couple of tries. But I count my blessings that we didn't have any problems with it! Now I'm telling my husband that next time around I want to be pregnant at the same time of year so that I can wear all these clothes again. His response was "Well, now that I know the gun's fully loaded..."

By the way, my husband makes a killer vodka gimlet. If you'd like him to send a batch out your way to assist in your efforts, just let me know! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif

Susan...I meant to ask you, how is the pregnancy belt working? I've thought about buying one of those. I've really popped out lately, everyone has noticed. They remodeled our area at work and I moved into a new cube, well the CEO of our company happened to be out checking the progress, and he asked me (kidding of course) if maybe they should give me a wider opening!

[SusanD]

Okay, I just had to jump in with something else...a little off the topic but interesting. I work on the second floor of a three-story building. You wouldn't believe how many people are sooooo amazed when they see that I'm still taking the stairs! A little sad if you ask me... http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif

[KristaMB]

I just had to pipe in about the timing thing. I'm due in August but my husband won't graduate from school and get a job until December. Not exactly the timing we were going for. We thought it would take a little longer to become pregnant. I was off the pill for just 3 months. Although money is definitely a concern, I know that things will work out. The baby is the most important thing. I just keep thinking that there are a lot of people who have babies in this world with a lot less money (and toys!) than I do. It's all about keeping it in perspective!

~Krista

[kwormann]

That is right, Krista. SOmehow it will all work out. My sister was pg at 18, her BF was 16, she didnt take care of herself at all, no money, but she had a beautiful amazing girl who is almost 10 now.

I has a friend say one time "you're children chose you".... I thought it was a beautiful thought that no matter how much you plan. your chidren will come when the time is right for them to have the right parents.

SusanD, a pregnancy belt???? Is that a real thing?

Kim

[SusanD]

My thoughts exactly, Krista! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Kim, I've seen these pregnancy belts or "belly bras" - like a big support strap that goes under your belly to help take some of the weight off. I know MrsReber bought one, I'm curious to see how it's working out for her - if it's worth the $$.

[MrsReber]

Ahhh! I wrote a whole response and my computer timed out on me and wouldn't let me post it!!!! Okay, now that that's out of my system....

Yes, the belt is like a support that goes around your waist (what waist??!?!) and supports your belly and your lower back. They also have supports that go over your shoulders to give you even more support. To be honest, I am not sure if it's been really working or not. Susan, I don't know how your pain is, but mine seems to come and go. I think it's probably more related to where the baby is positioned at the moment and if there's a lot of growing and stretching going on. It didn't bother me for almost a whole 2 weeks, but it just came back a couple of days ago- and I can feel the baby moving around a lot more now. I was wearing it everyday to work and the support felt good, but the pain was still there. It may have been giving me some relief, though, becuase I went to the gym once without it and I was in pain when I got home. Never do that again! I find that the control top pantyhose that I wear offer support, too. Yes, people are amazed when I tell them that I go to the gym- mostly on weekends, though. I am so tired after work and I do get a couple of short walks in during the day with my commute. This guy I work with is so cute (he's 24)- he tells me that I should get security to drive me to the train station. It's about a 10 minute walk from here. He says that I am carrying another person around inside me "don't you understand!?!" He wants me to go home today because I have the ligament pain again plus a new sharp pain in the middle of my lower back when I walk. Hey, that's life. The pains do come and go. It may be gone later today or it may be worse. You just never know!

Susan, my husband is just like yours. We're watching this show and a couple was having problems concieving. He tells me "they need me!" He thinks he's superman now. I was worried that we'd have trouble conceiving because he was never that careful in the past (typical man, leave the birth control to the woman) and he never got anyone else pregnant. Not that I wanted to think about his past girlfriends or anything, but I had to ask in this instance. Well, it didn't take him long at all! So now he tells me "just let me know when you're ready for baby number 2." After I told him I was pregnant, he shouted to the neighbors across the street "I did my job!!". They said "huh?" and he said "you know, I did my job in the bedroom!!" Not too embarrassing for me!

Yes, everything does have a way of working out. My husband is worried about a layoff since they have been so slow lately. He'd be one of the last to go, though, since he's the most experienced and been there the longest. This happens every year there. If it happens, it happens and we face it and deal with it- And he'll be a stay at home dad for a while. But I think if you have your priorities straight (and everyone here seems to) then things will fall into place accordingly. So sometimes I worry, but I know it'll all work out somehow. It always does.

[SusanD]

Susan, I've noticed the same thing, that the pain kind of comes and goes. It's usually worse later in the day - obviously after I've been moving around all day. I find myself needing to sit down more often too, this morning I actually sat on the bathroom counter to dry my hair.

Are men all alike or what? We have some friends who had trouble conceiving so Jay decided he was going to show up at their door and tell his buddy to "step aside and let a real man take over". It's so funny how big their egos get for playing such a small part in the whole process. I think we're the ones who should be running around high-fiving each other and bragging! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[MrsReber]

But then again- this is what will make them both such great dads! My husband has a great sense of humor and likes to laugh and have fun. The neighborhood kids just love him. There's a family across the street with about five kids- I think four boys and girl (my husband says he wants to leave them some birth control in their mailbox!). The boys came over one day to see the race car and now they visit every so often. They told us that they asked their mom if my husband could come over for dinner! They talk about him at home all the time. I was hysterical!
But shame on their mom and dad for not coming over to meet us! Good thing we're decent people!

I have been walking so much slower. It's sad. On my way to my building last week, I was passed by a group of gray haired gentlemen. I couldn't keep up with them!! It is slightly uphill from the train station and it makes my leg muscles burn to try to walk quickly. Oh how sad. And to think I used to run four miles on the treadmill at the gym! The ligament pain has been much better in the past two weeks, but it still shows up. I seem to feel it more if I am sitting still for a while and then get up to walk. I was very achy yesterday, but it seems much better today. I guess today is one of my good days. I still haven't heard anything on the glucose test so I am assuming that the results were fine. I think I will call just to make sure they have the results. When are you going to start your leave? I want to go on leave in 10 weeks, if everything is going along okay. My boss STILL hasn't talked to me about it! I may have to go to his boss. I hate to do that, but this is kind of important.

Enjoy the rest of your day! I have to get back to work soon- just finished eating my lunch of lentil soup- protein and iron!

[SusanD]

Ahhh...protein and iron. Exactly what I was thinking when I made my smoked turkey and spinach sandwich this morning. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

That's funny that Kyle's so popular with the neighborhood kids. Jay's the same way, we have a basketball hoop in our driveway and our doorbell is frequently ringing with little boys wanting to know if Jay or Bucky can come out and play!

I'm walking much slower these days too. It's funny, I'm usually a very fast walker and it drives people nuts. My co-workers are always telling me to slow down. Now everyone says how nice it is to see me slowly waddle by. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif

I'm sure everything is fine with your glucose test if you haven't heard anything by now. The nurse told me...no news is good news!

I'm going to try to work up until I deliver (or as close to it as possible). The hospital is actually closer to my office than my house, so it would be very easy for me to call Jay and have him run home and grab my bag and meet me there if we needed to. I want to have as much time off afterwards as possible, but I guess it will depend on how I'm feeling at that time. I think my boss would prefer that I set a specific "end" date so that I can wrap up my projects, etc. My friend Heather actually worked past her due date, she just kept working and said as long as she was feeling OK then she would rather be out interacting with people than sitting home thinking about how uncomfortable she was. So who knows...

Well, I'd better get out of here, we've got baby school tonight!

[MrsReber]

I called the doctor's office and they told me the same thing- "no news is good news" so I guess everything is fine. I'm just kind of surprised. I thought I'd at least need an iron supplement.

Susan, you're lucky your hospital is that close! I have an hour and twenty minute commute into work each day. Then my hospital is another twenty minutes south of our house. I will NOT have my baby in Newark!! I wish I could work right up until the day. I wanted to talk to my boss about working from home for the two weeks before my due date. I have a tentative date of May 11th, but I could go out of work sooner than that or later than that, depending on what happens and how I feel. The director of the company says my husband should take me to the hospital in the racecar! At least he wouldn't be able to hear me complaining about pain!

I was sleeping so nicely last night, baby was sleeping, not kicking me. My husband came to bed at 4:00am (he painted the hallway and had consumed a few alcoholic beverages so he was in a very deep sleep on the couch). He came to bed and actually woke the baby up! It was kind of funny, but I wasn't able to go back to sleep right away. The baby was restless for about half an hour. Kyle thought I was kidding around about the whole thing. He said he felt my stomach moving, but thought I was doing that. Ha! Hardly! I don't have that much control over the old stomach muscles anymore. Hey, at least my hallway is painted. Looks like I finally get to go shop for carpet and then get my baby furniture that's being held hostage at the store! Yeah!!

[MrsReber]

It's been a banner day for Mrs Reber! Two women at two different times asked me when I was due! Yes, they actually noticed that I was pregnant and not just fat! It's about time!!! Have a great weekend everyone http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[kwormann]

Just thought Id let y'all know, I had been wondering about Mommywannabe, hadnt seen her post for awhile, so I emailed her to let her know I was thinking fertile thoughts for her in January. ANyway, she is due in September, so I guess the fertile thoughts helped. SHe isnt posting because she is so exhausted! (I guess the susan's know that feeling!)

Kim

[SusanD]

Hooray for mommywannabe! Kim, how did you find her email address...did you go back to an old post? I'd love to congratulate her! (She's going to have to change her screen name now, though... http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif). I can completely identify with the fatigue...something you'll get to look forward to, too! Basically my entire first trimester I would come home from work, eat dinner and go straight to bed.

Susan, that's so funny that Kyle woke the baby up! Mine gets awfully fidgety at night too sometimes, drives me nuts. I want to move around to get her to stop, but then I feel like a meanie. That's great that you got your hallway painted, too. You'll have the baby's room done before you know it! Jay wants to put a ceiling fan in, and then I need to get the curtains hung. I'm going to call the store this weekend and see if I can get an ETA on our furniture - I'd really rather not wait till the last minute to get everything put together.

We had a tour of the maternity ward last night in our baby class. It was interesting to see, and we didn't hear any women screaming in pain which is a good thing. It did kind of make this whole delivery thing a little more real, though, which kind of spooked me. I'll be happy to have that part over. We also saw another movie, the one where the husband takes off his clothes too. However, we didn't see much of that as the camera pretty much stayed focused on the "action zone" the entire time. Ugh!!!

Well, it's friday and I'm out of here...everyone have a great weekend!

[kwormann]

Just thought Id let you all be the first to know, DH is on board (sooner than I thought!) It is nice to talk about it and he pays attention instead of ignoring me! I get more excited by the day!

Kim

[MrsReber]

Yeah!!! Kim, that is so great! I'm so happy for you- I know the feeling of being apprehensive with dh when you approach the subject. We went through that for a while. My husband wanted kids, he just kept putting it off, thinking we should "wait a few years". But I got to him. Ha!

That's great about mommywannabe, too! I'm so happy for her! Yes, I remember the extreme tiredness in the first three months. It was horrible. I still get tired now, but I have never been tired like that in my whole life.

Well, we'll be watching for the big snow storm this weekend. Wonder how that will all develop. I'm glad I'm all set up to be able to work from home. If it all pans out and these two storm systems meet, looks like I may not be going anywhere for a couple of days! I have to admit, I do think it's awfully cozy to be snowed in. An excuse to be lazy and bake!

[kwormann]

I remember being snowed-in in IN all my growing up years....I only miss it once in awhile, and only briefly! It is a cozy feeling, though!

Kim

[SusanD]

Yay for Kim! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif We'll be keeping our fingers crossed for you!

Susan, I heard on the news this morning that the storm hadn't hit yet - but it's going to. My parents were quite relieved, they went back to Mpls. from their place in Savannah yesterday, and were concerned about how the storms were going to affect their flight. We had the most gorgeous day here on Saturday, it really made me anxious for warm weather. I agree, though, it's such a nice cozy feeling to be inside with a big blizzard going on. Enjoy!

[MrsReber]

Well, the storm has hit certain areas. Yes, it was very nice here on Saturday as well! The funniest thing happened yesterday (not funny, really) I got so sick sitting at the computer. I thought I was going to lose it. I had to log off and I was going to go lie down, but when I got up, things started to fade sort of. I went out to the garage to tell Kyle. It was nice and cool out there, so I felt a little better, but it was scary. I just took it easy all afternoon. I stayed home from work today- mostly because of the weather. It's much worse up north, where my office is. The government is sending Kyle home early, too. The governer wants people to stay off the roads for the snow later- IF it snows this time! So far we've only gotten sleet. I got a call from my co-worker. He said there were only 5 people in and one was heading home at 10:00. There was ice falling and hitting the windows there. The director of our company even stayed home today and said he doesn't expect that anyone will be in tomorrow. I just feel like such a whimp anymore! I used to always go into work- no matter what! Now I don't want to walk in the snow and ice. At least they understand. And I get to make a nice dinner!

[SusanD]

Wow...lucky you! Enjoy your days off! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

I had something unusual happen on saturday too. I've started noticing this pain that's...to put it delicately...DOWN THERE. Well, I was in the shower and noticed that there was a black and blue bump, like a bulging vein or something. And believe me, it took a little bit of gymnastics to check it out. I mentioned it to Jay and told him "good thing I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow" (and actually she was sick today so they called & rescheduled it till Tuesday) - well, he told me to call the dr's office right away in case it was a blood clot (which isn't a good thing). So I did, and at first it sounded like the triage nurse was all ready to send me to the ER! I told her my symptoms and answered a bunch of questions, and she called the dr. that was on call who, fortunately, said it was a pretty common thing and I could wait and have my dr. look at it. Apparently because of it's "location" - if it were on my leg in my groin area they would have been more concerned. Phew! I was having these horrible visions of being put on bed rest for the next two months. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif

[kwormann]

Wow, I'm glad both of you Susans are ok! I keep have panic attacks of all the things that could happen during pregnancy and child birth and LIFE!!! DO you all get that?

Kim

[kwormann]

Wow, I'm glad both of you Susans are ok! I keep have panic attacks of all the things that could happen during pregnancy and child birth and LIFE!!! DO you all get that?

Kim

[SusanD]

Oh, sure. It's hard not to! Especially with all the pregnancy books that will tell you everything that can go wrong. That's why I tried to limit my reading - my SIL got yelled at by her dr. for reading too much and worrying about everything that could go wrong (she had a perfect delivery and her son is the most adorable little guy!). I just try to remember all the women out there who haven't had any problems. For every woman who's had some sort of difficulty with her pregnancy and/or delivery there are probably 50 who haven't. So I just keep my fingers crossed that I'm one of those 50.

[clairea]

SusanD, I think you have exactly the right idea. Having had two fairly complicated pregnancies, I'm a strong proponent of knowing the basics about what can go wrong so that you can recognize a potential problem. I have definitely had a lot of friends who are pregnant (or hoping to be) talk to me about their fears -- usually beginning with comments like "after all, look what happened to you". I always try to remind them that there are many more women who have uncomplicated pregnancies. I think you just don't here about it as much. It's like people slowing down to look at an accident -- "my friend who spent several months in the hospital while pregnant" is a much more interesting story. And, despite all the pregnancy complications, I have two beautiful, healthy children who have never had any problems or illnesses other than normal childhood things. I think the worrying is just part of being a mother.

[MrsReber]

Kim, I worry about everytbing. I worry everyday that something will happen to my husband or that I'll go into premature labor at work. Or that my husband won't be able to get to the hospital. There's so many things to worry about in life. I have hardly had any problems or discomfort- at least nothing that would prevent me from having another child. Of course I haven't gone through delivery yet http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif! Just kidding. Yes, there are many more women who have normal births and so many of my friends who have had babies haven't had any problems at all. Even if delivery was painful, they all recover, so I don't dwell on it too much- though I do think of it often. It's fear of the unknown right now.

Susan- I have no idea how you ever saw that! I had to laugh! There are certain parts of my body that I cannot see anymore without the aid of a mirror! Well, I'm glad they said it was normal. I hope you doctor tells you the same thing. It's hard not to worry about something like that showing up, though.

Well, I got another day off- or a day of "working from home" and I did do some work! At least half a day's worth. My boss called and told me I should err on the side of caution. It was snowing out all day long and they don't want the pregnant woman walking around in it, I'm sure. So anohter good dinner for hubby- early dinner for us, too! I have to go eat now, but I'll be back tomorrow and probably back at work!

[SusanD]

Well, doc confirmed that it was just a varicose vein. She told me to take a warm bath & maybe some tylenol for the pain, and put my feet up as often as I can. I have my next appointment in 2 weeks and she said that if it gets any worse that she could prescribe a cream that might help. I swear, this whole pregnancy/birth thing seems to be robbing every last ounce of dignity I had.

Guess what, my co-workers had a surprise shower for me last night! It was so sweet, they got Jay to bring me to a restaurant near my office, telling me that we were meeting some friends for dinner. When we got there, I noticed one of my co-worker's cars in the parking lot, but didn't think anything of it because the place is kind of a hang-out for our office & a lot of people go there after work for drinks. He brought me in there and everyone was at a big table. It was so much fun! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[MrsReber]

Susan, I am worried about losing my dignity, too, but I hear that towards the end of pregnancy and through delivery, it just doesn't matter! Well, I'm glad that's all it is and I sure hope it goes away. I would imagine it'd be kind of bothersome.

That's so sweet that you had a baby shower last night! Probably the last thing you were expecting. It's nice when you work with a bunch of caring people like that.

Well, Kyle tells me there's talk of layoffs at the government once more. That's about normal. He says it could happen as early as April. I have to say I'm not too worried about it at this point. They go through this every year. They're overstaffed right now since they tend to hire on too many people. I figure even if there is a layoff, they'll most likely call him back since they have work coming in in June. I told him the worst case would be that he stays home with the baby and I go back to work full time. He said he can't do that since he can't produce milk! Seriously, he'd do that. I told him we can't worry about it until it actually happens.

Other than that, I've been quite dizzy lately. Does that happen to you? I'm so worn out. I was thinking this morning that I might not make it working until May 11th because the commute really wears me out. I have to talk to my boss about working from home more often. How are you doing with walking? Are you still trying to walk everyday? I bought a heart monitor for the gym so I can make sure my heart rate doesn't go out of control. I just wish I felt more like exercising!

[karen w]

I hope this will be a little reassuring for the Susan's. I worried my little you know what off for all three of my pregnancies. I think because I am a physician, I had a little too much knowledge for my own good. I knew all the bad things that could happen, and I worried.

Well in the end, I had probably the three most medically boring pregnancies and deliveries that one could have. I always feel very fortunate to have had such nice pregnancies(and very fast deliveries too!) So, yes, there are people out there who don't have complications...but no matter what happens as long as we get healthy babies, it's worth every bit of worrying!!

[erinl]

It's so nice to relate to so many people! My husband and I just decided that this is my last month on the pill. Now I'm all excited and he's scared. We live in a 1 bedroom condo in the middle of the city and he's trying to get a new business off the ground. It's not an ideal situation, but we figure we'll deal with it when I get pregnant. Who knows how long that will take. We've seen too many of our friends get financially "settled" with the home in the suburbs before they'll even start trying. Now they are having problems conceiving. If it's not one thing, it's another. So, we're going for it. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Erin

[MrsReber]

Good luck, Erin! I think that's great. Before birth control, nobody ever thought about the "right time" to have children. You can't let life and its problems get in the way of your dreams and happiness. My husband was scared, too, but once you get pregnant, they get pretty excited over the thought of the baby. It is scary, but so very exciting and wonderful. I know so many women who have accomplished great things, but they will still tell me that the greatest thing they've ever done was to become a mother.

[SusanD]

Karen, thanks for those words of encouragement. I hope I have a "boring" delivery too! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif No point worrying until it happens, and then if life throws you a curve ball you just deal with it and move on.

Erin...good luck to you! Susan's right, you can't sit around and worry about what might happen, you just have to jump in and do it. I was scared to death of becoming pregnant and everything that could go wrong (both with us and the baby), but now I'm so thrilled and excited that I can't imagine not doing this.

Susan, I understand about the dizziness! It happens to me too sometimes. That's good that you bought a heart monitor, that should help. I also notice that I tend to get more lightheaded when I'm hot - which is most of the time! I've had to pack away the sweaters. I get so tired, sometimes when I'm in my car at a stoplight I have to close my eyes (and then the light turns green and I get honked at). I'm still walking in the mornings, but I've cut back to about 2 miles. I'm walking much slower too so I don't think the dog enjoys walking with me as much - he prefers to go w/Jay because he runs & plays with him. Oh guess what, I've got the big line down the middle of my stomach. It looks pretty funny, Jay calls it my racing stripe. At first he was all freaked out, he was like "EEEWWWW...what is that?" The doctor reassured him that it was normal and would go away, so now he thinks it's funny.

[MrsReber]

oh no! You got the line!! I was going to ask you about that. I have the very beginning of that line- it's right inside my belly button and I was hoping it wouldn't go any further. It hasn't gone anywhere yet. When I first noticed it, I didn't know what it was. I thought maybe I had dirt in my belly button (gross!). But then I read about it in the books. Jay sounds like Kyle- I know for sure if this goes all the way down my stomach, I'll hear about the racing stripe!

Well, looks like no layoffs at the gov't right now. Seems that the other guys in the other shops started some rumors. And they think women are bad!!!

The baby keeps getting me bad in the side. It actually hurts in these two spots when the baby moves or kicks there. Feels more like stretching since it's a gradual movement. The pain only lasts a few seconds, but boy does it ever hurt!

Susan, you're doing great keeping up with the walking! I know it's not easy! I tend to be at the gym on the weekends, but it's so hard for me to exercise during the week. I was so exhausted yesterday with the commute to work. I wanted to just lie down and sleep when I got home. We had leftovers and I stitched for a while to keep me awake. I knew if I went to bed too early, I'd be wide awake in the middle of the night once more. Kyle looked at my stomach last night and said "I don't know if I want you taking that trip to Virginia next week." I think now that it's so noticeable, he's getting more concerned about my health. People at work now know that I am pregnant. It's about time!! They can actually tell by looking at me now. I hope I'm not waddling or anything!

[SusanD]

Well that's a relief that Kyle won't get laid off! Jay has a second interview next week and it sounds like they really want him to come work for them, so fingers crossed it works out...and hopefully for more money! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Baby's been super active lately, it's actually getting a little uncomfortable. It feels really wierd when she pushes her head against my side and there's this big bulge sticking out. Like you, there's no doubt that I'm definitely pregnant! Even though I try not to waddle, Jay says I do it anyway, he calls me "Susie the Waddler". I feel very conspicuous (sp?), I even have sales clerks asking me when I'm due.

That's funny that Kyle doesn't want you going to VA now. I'm sure we look more fragile than we feel! Jay was supposed to go up to Mpls. in 3 weeks for the NCAA Final Four, only now he's not so sure he wants to leave me alone for the weekend. I told him I'm a big girl (a REALLY big girl!) and can handle being by myself, but he's too concerned. It's sweet.

Have a good weekend!

[This message has been edited by SusanD (edited 03-09-2001).]

[MrsReber]

I still haven't figured out which way the baby is facing. My next appointment is next Friday so I'm going to ask about it then. I was asking my mom if it was normal for a baby to be so active. It doesn't keep me up at night, but I can feel movement for almost the entire day. I hear that when they run out of room, the movement will slow down.

I'm happy that the talk of layoffs was just a rumor. That's great that Jay got a second interview. Very good sign! I'll keep my fingers crossed, too.

Kyle wants to go away for 3 dayst to go turkey hunting five weeks before my due date. I'd probably be okay, just lonely and I may get stuck in the couch until he comes home! Good news- we're getting a nice tax refund so we can get our carpet and a new couch!!! I despise our couch. It's not even good enough for the basement. I have pillows and blankets all over the couch just so I can sit comfortably. Yes, it's funny how these guys have to be able to see the big belly to understand that the baby is a reality.

I don't think I waddle too much. I should say, I would like to think I don't waddle too much. Mostly it's because my side hurts or my back hurts or my pelvic bone hurts or I just want to sit down. I can't believe how close my due date is! Another guy at work asked when I was due yesterday. So now I feel better. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif If I'm going to be pregnant, I want to LOOK pregnant.

[SusanD]

I don't know which way my baby is facing either. I know exactly where her head and butt are because I can feel the lumps when I touch my stomach. I was in a meeting this morning and she was having a big party in there, I kept having to shift positions because it was driving me nuts. Everyone else must have thought I was just being fidgety. I'm really starting to get excited/anxious to have her and be done with this!

Well our crib & changing table are being delivered tomorrow. Hooray! I called the store yesterday because I was starting to wonder, and they said that my crib had come in but they were still waiting for the table. I asked when that would be and they said the end of April. Whoops...that won't work because I'm due at the end of April! They said the floor model is in good shape if I wanted that one - so they're delivering it tomorrow. I'm so excited! I got the curtains hung yesterday and we bought the ceiling fan so Jay's friend can help him hang it next saturday. My shower is next weekend, so Jay's having all the husbands over to watch basketball.

That's great that you're getting a new couch and carpet! I love stuff like that - it's so much more fun to spend $$ on something that you can see, rather than a new furnace or something like that. How fun, how you can finish the baby's room! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Kristilyn1]

Mrs Reber,

you may be pleasantly surprised about camping while pregnant. I actually slept better--something about that fresh air I guess!

As far as camping with babies--that's a rite of passage in my family. So far, we win the prize for camping with the youngest baby. We went when Daniel was 2 weeks old. He slept better too! The key is don't worry about the baby--do it if YOU feel good enough to go. In that case, I highly suggest getting the horribly expensive, only use a few times--little tent-thing from Fisher Price I believe? It's a bassinet set very low to the ground with a screen and canvas like top that zips almost like a tent. Great for outdoors in your yard, or for camping. Maybe someone can help me out as to what the stupid thing is called. It's outrageous how much it costs, but you can always sell it to someone after....

Kristi

[MrsReber]

I went and picked out carpet! Then I was too tired to even think of looking for a couch. My legs get so achy if I am standing for a while.

I know what you mean about wanting it over with. I am still enjoying pregnancy, but I can see how in a couple of weeks I am going to want this child out of me! It gets slightly more uncomfortable each day.

You're so lucky you're getting your furniture so soon! They can't install our carpet until the 27th. Kyle will take the day off for that. I won't be much help and would be better off at work and out of the way. We are getting the livingroom/dining room done and the hallway and the other two bedrooms. We'll actually save money doing it all at once. I just hope the colors are okay! I get so nervous about that. Kyle just won't go to the store to shop for things with me. I must've been in the store for a while deciding on the right colors. The guy said to me "I'm drawing the line when you go into labor!". I got a neutral beige tone for the bedrooms and hallway. I had to stick with the blue family for the other rooms. I am still scared!

Looks like we're going to VA on Friday. I told Kyle I just need a comfy chair to sit in and lots of pillows and it'll be fine. I'm willing to try to camp for one night- if the weather is good. It's supposed to be around 65 down there this week. I hope so! We might not get out camping again this year. We'll have to see how things go.

I can't beleive I'm only 10 weeks away from my due date. It seems impossible! You'll have fun at your shower. I don't have a clue if I'm having one or what. My registry still hasn't been touched. Kyle saw his friend over the weekend. The guy's wife is due at the beginning of next month. Kyle said "they had a shower and now they're all set. We better get a shower!" Not to be greedy, but it really is nice. We need so much stuff. It is so confusing.

[MrsReber]

Kristi- that camping thing sounds great! I usually do sleep better when we camp. So soundly and I have no trouble at all getting to sleep. Everyone still thinks I'm crazy for going, but it's so peaceful and beautiful out there. And, hey, we want more than one child, so we'd get use out of any baby camping stuff. That's what I told my husband- the baby won't know if he's camping or not! We saw a very tiny baby once when we were camping. It shouldn't make that much of a difference and I understand the younger they are, the easier they are to travel with. But we'll see. I'd love to go away while I'm on maternity leave, just a long weekend somewhere. I think it'd be fun. But we'll have to see how mom feels!

Well, no layoffs, but they did cut my husband's hours at work. Everyone now works a 4 day week. The each had to pick a day out of a hat and he got Thursday. Monday or Friday would've been nicer. If things don't pick up, they may actually have layoffs. I love the government. Seems they lie to everyone. Last week it was no layoffs and now they're cutting hours, which could lead to a layoff. They supposedly have more work coming in June so hopefully this won't last too long. He plans to do some landscaping work with his sister for that one day to make a few extra bucks. But if the 4 day week continues, it'll just be the day that daddy stays home with baby!

[kwormann]

Mrs.Reber

SO sorry to hear about your husband and his job troubles! I would think the NOT knowing and the changes would be worse than just knowing! WHat exactally does he do? (besides living in fear of a layoff)

This weekend we were visiting our friends who are pregnant (the daddy-to-be has been DH's best friend since they were 3) and we were putting mountain bikes on top of the car for a ride. I asked Scott if this was the kind of bike rack he wanted and he started saying yes because when we go camping with the gear and all the baby stuff there wont be room for the bikes in the back of the Rodeo.....his friend Dan and I just looked at him....did you just talk about a baby without being prompted?????????

kim

[SusanD]

Ahhhh...camping...I'm so jealous! I miss that. Jay doesn't like to camp, the closest he'll come is the cottage up north, which is nice but just not the same. Sorry to hear about the cutbacks at Kyle's job - seems like that's happening all over the place these days. Hopefully things will pick up for him in June, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. We've got enough on our minds these days - the last thing we need to be worrying about is money! Ugh....

I'm sure you'll have a shower, it's probably going to be a surprise! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif There's still plenty of time. I'm really fighting the temptation to go to USA baby and see what's gone off my registry. Shame on me! My mom and sister are coming down Thursday night for it, I have to pick them up at the airport after baby class. I'm so excited!

Kim, sounds like you're making progress, if he's talking about baby stuff without being asked! Yippee! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[MrsReber]

Kim, you're right, it is worse just not knowing what they'll do next with my husband's job. I'd rather know so that we know what steps we have to take. He is a government machinist. They make pretty cool stuff there, actually. We'll be watching the history channel or the discovery channel when they show the military equipment and he'll see stuff that they helped make. And see, your husband is getting ready for a family and he doesn't even realize it! My husband bought our house about three months before we met. He always said he bought a bigger house because he planned on having a family. Still had to get on his case about getting pregnant, but he did always want kids.

Susan, when I met Kyle, I hadn't been camping since I was 7! So almost twenty years later (or it may have been exactly 20 years later) he and I went on our first camping trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains in VA. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I slept better than he did! Last time we camped on our property in VA, he was awake becuase of the HUGE spiders. I still have to tease him about that. They are quite large and 2 of them did get in our tent, but hey, what do you expect sleeping outside?

My MIL bought almost everything off the JC Penny registry last Sunday. They were having a sale for employees and she got 50% off of everything. There were only a couple of small items left when I looked this morning. The big registry is at Babies R Us. Nobody has touched that one yet. I always thought registries were so odd. I feel weird opening up gifts when you already kind of know what they are. It sure is a big help, though, especially when you have lots of moms at the shower. There's so much stuff that we need!

[kwormann]

Ok, here is a loaded question, but since you will both be working, what will you do about childcare? I have been doing some research, and it is SOOOO expensive! The avg for a city like NYC is 174/wkly for an infant...that is more than half my monthly bring home! I know it is early to worry, but planning is in my blood, and I like to go into things with all the facts!

Any advice? I have also heard that you need to apply almost at conception because there are so few openings available for infants!

Kim

[MrsReber]

Kim, I checked out daycare a bit. Unfortunately, my husband is not much help in this area and has that "you'll figure it out" attitude that I love so much. I found 2 daycares nearby our house. One of them charges $205/week and the other charges around $170/week. The latter will charge us $127 for three (or was it 2??) days a week. Also, my husband works on the military base and they offer child care for employees. He can see the building from his shop. They charge on a sliding scale and won't charge more than $500/month. We may split it up. I want to come back to work for three days at first and, if he's still on 4 day weeks, maybe we'll only have 2 days of child care to worry about. And if he gets laid off, then he can stay home with the baby. Our neighbor across the street also offered, but we feel she won't want to be tied down on a full time basis. So.... we may have her a couple of days and then a daycare for a couple of days. We also want to try to work some "grandma time" into that because it breaks my heart to think of dropping off this tiny baby each day. My job has emergency daycare so if for some reason we had no provider that day, I could bring the baby in to work with me (beautiful downtown Newark!!!). Ah, we will try to keep that to a minimum, but I'd love to have the baby that close. It's going to be very hard.

As far as waiting lists, the only waiting list that we are on is at my husband's job (of course). I did some research on line and found out that the Ft. Monmouth daycare is accredited by this national organization (whose name escapes me right now). There is quite a bit of information on line. I also contacted our county offices and they sent me information on daycare. You should also see if any complaints have been made against any daycare centers you are considering. You have to be careful of the ratio between caregivers and babies. The one place that I really like down the road from us will only take in 8 babies at any one time. They also told me that I can contact other mothers who have children there. And (very important) make sure you can drop by and visit whenever you want- don't go anywhere that wants you to set up an appointment or call in advance. You should be able to walk in at any time and see that everything is okay. Don't be too put off by price. You have to see what's included in that price. Some places will ask you to bring your own crib linens from home and food/snacks whatever and other places will provide them for you.

Hope that helps you out. Being that you're in NYC, though, you may have to start your search a bit earlier since the best places probably do have waiting lists. You're might be better off looking before you get pregnant as your brain will not function as well later http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif!! It does get very confusing and it is not an easy decision. SusanD got very lucky and found a place right near her job.

[kwormann]

Thanks for the info..actually, Im not in NYC, Im in Houston, but that is the statistic I found for the avg..I assume HOuston is close in price. DH says not to think about it yet, but Im trying to look at budgets, etc!

Kim

[SusanD]

Yes, I got lucky with that. You're right - it's not cheap, and what amazed me was that it doesn't sound like it's any cheaper here (Milwaukee) than on the east coast, where you expect everything to be more. I found a center that's less than a mile from my office and came very highly recommended by two of my co-workers - not to mention the glowing references when I called other moms who have their kids there. It's $170 a week for 4 days (goes down to $136 for 3 days) which was pretty comparable to the other places I looked. I asked a lot of people around me and got plenty of advice on where to go and where not to go - so I only had to look at three places before I made up my mind. All three places were very nice and I felt very comfortable with them. The biggest problem with one of them was that they only took infants for 5 days, which means I would have had to pay for an extra day. The other place was great, too, but it was in the other direction from my house, so I would have had to backtrack to drop her off and pick her up. As far as waiting lists - it probably wouldn't hurt to make a few phone calls just to get a feel for what's around you, but I wouldn't worry about it right away. I didn't start looking till January and didn't have any problems.

Susan, once again our husbands sound eerily similar...Jay too has that attitude of "you'll figure it out". What is it with them? He never worries about anything because he figures it will just all fall into place when the time comes. Meanwhile I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to make sure that it does. We did have a couple of arguments about his lack of assistance in looking for daycare!

[MrsReber]

Susan, that's too funny- I can't get any assistance at all. He just figures it's my decision for some reason! When I told him that there was a nice daycare that took infants right where he works, he seemed almost upset that he would have the prime responsibility of dropping off and picking up! I really like this one place down the road, but we'd have to take turns, I think.Oh, and I was wrong about the cost for the place I liked- it's $135 for 5 days AND they provide the crib bedding. For 4 days, it's $120 and for three days, it's $90. The only thing I really didn't like was that there's no outside play area. But if we can arrange it so it's only 3 days a week there, that wouldn't matter too much. I just really enjoyed talking to the woman on the phone. She was great.

Also, at Ft. Monmouth, if we don't get in, they will give us names of women who live on the base who do daycare in their homes. They train them in the same program as the daycare providers in the center. So we have quite a few options. I think it'd be easier if we had fewer options!

What is wrong with these men? Kyle pretty much waits for me to make all the decisions about things. It's okay in the sense that I always get my way, but then I wonder if he really likes my way?

I don't like the changing hormonal levels. I was not fit to be around people this morning. I think I am doing better. Everyone is leaving me alone, which is good. They're great here, though, I think I am going to start leaving a little earlier a couple of days a week. I have been so worn out lately. I was walking to the train platform yesterday morning and ran into my mom and her fiance. They were walking too fast! I told them they had to slow down, I was going as fast as I could! That evening, I went home and was talking to my husband in the kitchen. My legs were achy so I went to sit on the counter. Ha! It took me three tries to get up there and I still barely made it! Things are rapidly changing. My next dr's appt is Friday morning. I am so afraid to get on that scale!

Oh, by the way, I finally saw the funny friends fish! They are so cute! JC Penny has them now. I never saw them there before. Those are the ones you were getting, right? Did you get your furniture delivered?

[This message has been edited by MrsReber (edited 03-14-2001).]

[Kristilyn1]

Yikes! about the cost of daycare! Our boys were both babies while we lived in NH and I paid $120 for five days for Daniel (the baby) and $105 for Drew, including hot lunch!

Though there were places up there that were as high as $150-175--they thrived on being "exclusive" and I think parents chose them because they assumed that because they were more expensive than everyone else that they had to be better.

I know that's not the case in the cities you were all talking about--I know the bigger the city, the more money it is all around!

Kristi

[erinl]

Okay, here's another question from someone who is thinking way ahead. When do you "make the announcement"? I'm a chemist and work around some not too fun chemicals. I don't want to expose baby to much, but I also don't want to request a reassignment too early. As soon as I'm off the bench, everybody will know why.

[MrsReber]

Erin, that is a tough one. I don't really have that problem where I work, although I have been asked to go visit remediation sites on occasion. I haven't gone to any yet since they use chemicals to clean up hazardous waste. I manage the contracts for the sites and sometimes they ask that I go to the meetings at the sites. I didn't tell anyone here until just after Thanksgiving when I was three months pregnant. However, for your health and the baby's health in you situation, I would consider saying something when you found out. I know it's kind of uncomfortable. It was weird for me because I still, at 3 months, did not "feel" pregnant. Then there's always the thought that something will happen and then you have to explain to everyone. I was worried about saying anything at my job because I haven't even been here a year yet. It'll be a year in May. But I was surprised at how very supportive everyone was- and they continue to be. I think it's partly due to all the laws we have now that protect the rights of pregnant women. So, how far ahead are you thinking?

[SusanD]

I made the big announcement at work when I was just about 3 months along. I waited till after my first ultrasound, I felt a little more secure that everything was OK then. But then, I work in the marketing department, so the biggest work hazard I face is carpal tunnel! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

Susan, aren't those fish a riot? Jay has gotten a little out of control buying them, the poor kid's going to be traumatized by all these fish making faces at her! The furniture came on Tuesday and it looks great. I'm so excited! Are you getting your furniture as soon as the carpet gets installed?

I've been a little moody lately, too. I don't know if it has to do more with hormones or just being plain old cranky from being so tired and uncomfortable all the time. I think it may be a combination of both. I'm taking the day off tomorrow because my mom & sister are coming in town for my shower - so that should help, at least I can have an extra day to sleep in.

[karen w]

erin,

I did not want to tell my coworkers about my pregnancies right away, but I had no choice. I am an anesthesiologist, and I did not want to do certain cases like those involving x-rays. With my last one, I found out I was pregnant 2 days before starting a new job. I thought I'd wait until week 2 to tell them(instead of dropping the bomb immediately!), but the first morning they wanted me to do a little boy with a broken arm under fluoroscopy(x-rays!!). I had to tell them! It was uncomfortable, but they took it O.K. To me it just was not worth the risk of exposing my fetus to something potentially harmful-even if it meant my job. But I am also fortunate to be in a position where I don't have to work(currently I am a SAHM). Anyway I did continue to work through that pregnancy without problems. I just did not do x-ray cases.

Good luck.

[MrsReber]

Susan, yes, those fish are pretty funny. I think these things tend to amuse the parents more than the children! Yep, I feel alot more tired lately and I am walking more slowly, but with more effort. The baby situated himself on my right side again yesterday and was causing me all kind of pain during the afternoon. I was getting very sharp pains with each kick. I finally left work half an hour early and went home to put my feet up. Of course, the phone kept ringing up until 9:30 and Kyle had gone to his friend's house after dinner. That's great that you're off tomorrow. Hopefully your mom and sister will wait on you hand and foot! I'm off tomorrow, too. We're leaving for VA right after my dr's appt. And after the carpet guy comes by to measure. Yes, I want to arrange for pick up of the baby's furniture right after the carpet is installed. I can see that I will have less and less tolerance for these things in the very near future.

Erin, I agree with Karen- it is kind of awkward having to tell people at work that you're pregnant, though they would all be happy for you, I'm sure. I still haven't told everyone where I work, but they have mostly figured it out in the past two weeks. I'm just not that much of an outgoing person that I'd tell everyone. However, it's worth the risk in order to protect your baby's health. Those first few months are so important as far as the whole formation of the fetus. Best to stay away from anything that's a potential hazard.

[kwormann]

Ok, new question. How will you pay bills while on maternity leave. Does your company pay for maternity leave? Is there another way to continue pay during that time?

Kim

[erinl]

Thanks for the advice, everybody! Starting April 1 we'll be playing without a goalie.

[SusieO]

I can answer the leave question, sort of. Really, you'll want to speak with someone in Human Resources as every company or organization handles this differently. Federal law provides up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under FMLA. However, you might be entitled to a few weeks of paid time, using sick leave or short-term disability. If your employer provided a written explanation of various benefits when you started working, you might already have the answers in front of you. Hope this helps!

[kwormann]

Thanks Susan, Ill check. Erin, good luck. Our time comes at the END of April.
kim

[mommywannabe]

Wow, I can't believe the Susans are almost due! It's been quite a while since I've visited the BB...too tired lately. I should probably change my user name from Mommywannabe to Mommygonnabe http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif We're due 9/25 http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif I'm starting to get some energy back, so you'll probably hear from me more often.
Glad to hear everyone is doing well. I look forward to hearing from the Susans as the big days get closer.

[MrsReber]

Hi everyone. Mommygonnabe, you're due on my wedding anniversary! My actual due date is only four months before yours.

Each state is different with regard to maternity leave, as is each company. My company will give me full pay for 4 weeks, based on the amount of time that I've been employed here. Then NJ state disability will kick in until my doctor says I can return to work. THEN, I can have 12 weeks of UNPAID leave under FMLA. According to my company, I can take those 12 weeks all at once or I can spread the time out over 6 months. For instance, I would work a four day week and take the 5th day unpaid under FMLA. Or I could work half days, etc. until the time was used up or until 6 months has passed. I really don't want to take the 12 weeks at once because we'd have massive problems paying the bills! Remeber, though, not all companies are obligated to give you FMLA. They have to meet certain requirements. I believe there has to be a minimum number of employees and a few other things that escape my mind right now. Basically, the best thing to do is check with your HR department. I got lots of information from mine http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif.

[SusanD]

Congratulations, "mommygonnabe"! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif I'm very excited for you! Glad to hear your energy's coming back...isn't that the worst? I think the first trimester is the toughest, even though it doesn't show on the outside. How have you been feeling otherwise, any morning sickness? Keep us posted on how things are going!

Erin, your "goalie" analogy cracked me up. Reminds me of when I first found out I was pregnant, my husband ran around yelling "he shoots, he scores!" By the way, Erin is one of our top choices for names! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Kim, for maternity leave, I think one of the qualifying factors for FMLA is if your company has more than 50 employees (if they don't, then they don't have to follow it). My company pays 6 weeks at 100% pay, then the second 6 weeks (if I choose to take that long, which I'm going to) is unpaid but I can sub in any sick or vacation time and get paid for that. I'm going to use all my sick time and one week of vacation (saving the other in case I have to stay home w/the baby for any reason) which will give me another 2.5 weeks, then the remaining 3.5 we'll just have to make do without my paycheck. It will be tough, but we'll probably also have fewer expenses since I'll be spending my days at home - less $$ spent on gas, lunches, etc. Just one of the many sacrifices we'll be making for the sake of our child!

Susan, how was your trip to VA? Did you feel OK? How was the weather? My shower was a lot of fun - I pretty much raked it in. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif I picked up a slight cold over the weekend so I was pretty lazy yesterday. We're making progress on the room - we may actually have it ready in time!

[MrsReber]

Susan, VA was beautiful! We got there Friday night around 6:00 and it was kind of misty out, but not raining. Kyle built a huge fire (yes, with wet branches- what a guy!). He swore he'd make me comfortable since I was consenting to camping. He did not let me down. It was pretty warm out- around 40-50 for the night and I was pretty toasty in the tent with my sleeping bag. I've been kind of warm all the time anyway, so I had no problem. I didn't even have to go to the bathroom (what bathroom?!?!) until it was light out. Good thing. The only difficult part was getting out of the tent! It's a small tent, you can't stand up in it at all so I had a hard time with that. Of course, Kyle thought that was amusing. He kept telling me to scoot out on my butt and then stand up. I told him that if I am sitting on my butt, it is a physical impossibility for me to stand up without help! He cleaned up the property a bit- there was still some garbage left that that wasn't cleaned up from the previous owners. We met a couple of our neighbors, too. What nice people. One guy told us to bring our boat down and leave it on his property since he has lake access. He also keeps an eye on things around there since he's retired and lives in a house nearby. We got a hotel room for Saturday night. He wanted me to get a good night's sleep before we had to drive home- not to mention a shower!

I'm so glad you had a great shower! I was thinking of you over the weekend! Once again, our families are screwing it all up. They did the same thing with my wedding shower. I am not supposed to know about these things, but then end up getting my poor husband involved and he goes insane and ends up having to vent. He's been wonderful helping them plan and calling people- then he tells me they keep switching the date around and nobody has even sent out invitations. I think the invitations to my wedding shower went out 2 weeks before the shower so alot of people couldn't make it. Sheesh. They are the most unorganized group of people I have ever met in my life. They need me to step in and organize it for them! I told Kyle I am just going to start buying the big things that we absolutely need like the carseat and the stroller. Anyway, sorry to rant about it. I just feel bad for Kyle since he has put alot of effort into this and now they're changing everything. He just wants it to all be nice for me and then our families get all stupid.

I have my family leave plan in my head- can you believe that my boss STILL has not talked to me about it? I keep asking and he keeps putting me off. I only plan to work for 7 or 8 more weeks. The commute is killing me.

Hope you're feeling better!! Enjoy all your shower goodies!

[SusanD]

Sounds like your trip was great! What a nice weekend getaway. That's too bad that Kyle has to go through all that with your family - ugh! Well, soon it will all be over (I can't believe just HOW soon), and you'll have a new little family member to brighten your lives! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[MrsReber]

Well, I did go home and give my husband a big hug. The phone calls about the shower didn't stop for him until after I got home.
Poor guy. I hugged him and the baby started kicking. He said "you have to deal with that all day?". Sometimes it is quite painful. Then the baby was kicking last night. He said I was making noise in my sleep when the baby would get active. I don't think anything could stop me from sleeping these days! We're worried because apparently the original shower date was March 24th (this saturday) so here's everyone not knowing even what to buy since my mom and sister didn't even tell anyone where I was registered! Then they failed to tell Kyle's family that they changed the date! My MIL just found out last weekend! Oh, I can only imagine the stories I am going to hear about this from my sister. Yes, it will all be over soon.

My boss says we'll talk about my leave either Thursday or Friday. I hope it happens. I don't plan to commute anymore after May 11th, which is just under 8 weeks away! I told him I'll be happy to work from home. I hope it all works out so everyone can be happy. My daycare is still kind of up in the air until we figure out my work schedule and whatever the government is going to do with my husband's job. I'm sure it'll all work out somehow. It always does. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Susan, you're probably ready to have this baby already. You're much closer than I am and I am getting anxious to return to my former self.

This thread is getting way too long! We need to start a new topic soon!