child's bday party invitation wording help needed

[DanaSD]

I'm starting to work on the invitations for my son's first birthday party. I want to have a big party inviting family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers because this is my son's first party, I decorate cakes as a hobby so its going to be a huge cake, and we moved into a new house this past spring and haven't had a party yet. However, I don't want people to feel like they need to bring a gift (especially since its the holidays and money is tight) or that I'm inviting so many people to get gifts. DS has plenty of toys especially with Christmas and his birthday so close and he's the first grandchild so he'll get plenty of spoiling from family.

I'm not sure if I should just say something like no gifts, please. Or is there a cute way to word this? Or is this just too tacky?

Or should I ask instead for people to donate to a charity if they feel they want to do something?

[DeeK]

Instead of inviting them to a birthday party, would it work to invite them to an "open house" where you just happen to have birthday cake? ;)

[sage]

If I saw "no gifts, please" on an invitation---I would not think that was tacky at all. In fact---I'd probably be relieved!

What about something like:

'In lieu of a gift, please consider a donation to your favorite charity during this time of giving."

That way if they were dead-set on bringing a gift they could---those that are will even if you put "no gifts" on there. This way it's a little softer than "no gifts, please" and adds the suggestion of the charity?

[misskitty100]

Just wanted to say have tons of fun planning the party. Sounds like it will be a great event!

[jrichards]

DanaSD - sounds fun, what a nice get together. Good luck on the cake.

I 've seen before something along the lines of "the only gift requested is your presence", "your presence is the gift", or "no gifts please - your presence only."

Jennifer

[PAMMELA]

When I had my huge Bday party I had "Your Presence is Gift Enough" printed on the invites.

Some people still brought gifts, but at least I felt better letting people know we just wanted to get together and celebrate, it wasn't about gifts.

[RunnerKim]

I did no gifts for my DD's last party (turned 4) - it was a joint party with another girl in her class and we simply said "No gifts please." We got a couple (particularly from another family that had just had their own party which of course we took a gift too so I think they felt like they should recipercate) but most only brought a card. Worked out great.

If it were only kids being invited I've heard of doing a book exchange - so each kid gets a new book to take home with them which is lots of fun. I've also heard of specifying only pencils or sticker gifts please. Something very small.

We were invited to a 2 year old's party that was much like what you described and they said something along the lines of "No gifts please. If you'd like to bring something, we're collecting school supplies for a local shelter" and I've heard of a request of a canned good or pet food/pet item (that's more for older kids that have an interest in animals and then they take the donations to the shelter and are a part of that process).

I think rephrasing the party as an Open House and the birthday part as an aside to that would work better. Something along the lines of Come celebrate with us - our new house, the holiday season, DS's 1st birthday.

Kim

[LaraW]

I put "no gifts please" on DD's party invitations for her 1st and 2nd bday.

[Terri_A]

If your party is sometime soon, why not make it a "toy-raiser" for Toys for Tots? Just say something on the invite like "DS is blessed to have all that he needs, if you feel inclined, please bring an unwrapped gift to be donated to Toys for Tots in his honor."

[lisas3575]

Dana, I just sent out DS's first birthday party invites too, and said something similar to what Terri suggested :"In lieu of a gift, please consider donating a toy to a needy child through the Rotary Giving Tree program." If people bring gifts anyway, I'll just wrap them up and donate them-- he has enough toys already and he doesn't play with any of them. :rolleyes:

ETA: what's the cake going to be? I loooove looking at your cakes. You are so talented!

[Luv to Cook]

I do the same as others..."your presence is our present."

Have fun...can't wait to see the cake!
Anita

[DanaSD]

thanks everyone - glad to hear its so common. When I mentioned it to some people they thought it was strange. Family will bring gifts and of course we have one for him too. Not sure if we'll open them at the party or after.

the pressure is on for the cake - funny that some fo you mentioned it too. Thats the first thing everyone has said to me when I say I'm planning his party. At least I have the entire week off from work to work on it (his bd is the 29th, party is the 30th). I'll post pictures after the big event.

[JenniferJJ]

If you don't want gifts, I would just have an open house. I've been invited to two "no gifts" childrens parties and still felt obliged to bring a gift. In one case, the child was old enough to know that you should get gifts at a birthday party. So, then I am stuck trying to find a gift that's small enough that I look like I listened to the no gifts request, but still something the child would like. And I was glad that I had brought a gift since several other people had, too.

[DanaSD]

update:

so on the invitation we just wrote "no gifts, please". We got quite a few comments and even a phone call - some had said they'd never heard of that and wanted to know why. When I explained he was still getting spoiled by family and that we wanted to have a large party and just wanted people to come and enjoy themselves many people said that was nice and thoughtful. Others said that they can't come to a party empty handed which I do understand because I always bring hostess gifts (or birthday gifts).

I'd say about half the people brought gifts. Though many were smaller gifts than if we hadn't said it - a book (which is a perfect gift and we can always use more of) or a picture frame. One of our neighbors did buy him a lot of clothes including a jacket so there were those who still went out of control. We didn't open the gifts during the party because we didn't want to make others feel bad.

I do think next time I might write something like bring a card or pick a charity for donations.

[DanaSD]

If it were only kids being invited I've heard of doing a book exchange - so each kid gets a new book to take home with them which is lots of fun.

Kim

I just re-read this post and I had missed this idea. I love it. I think this would work great for future birthdays, especially when the kids in attendance are in the same age group (when they're my son's friends - this party was mostly our friends kids so they were of all ages).

[LA98]

Glad the gift situation worked out for you, and hope your DS had a wonderful time at his party! But more importantly :D what about the cake?!

[DanaSD]

I had posted it on the wobblers thread but for those of you who don't follow the baby boards here it is:

http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h61/danavbrown/Brendans1stbdaysm.jpg


the presure was on between people IRL and on these boards. My time was somewhat limited because I had to plan the party, make the food and of course my son takes up a lot of my time but I did challenge myself by making a stacked cake (which even though I've been decorating for several years I have a fear of) and I was very proud of my finished product. The bottom layer did start to sink a little over night but luckly not too much - stacking is hard, I don't know how people do all those wedding cakes. But I'm also such a wimp when it comes to trying new things because I'm afraid its not going to work and fall apart (I've watching too many food challenges with the disasters). It went over well (except for my son who wouldn't eat it but he had fun making a mess - he's picky about what foods he'll try).

It'll be fun when he's older and he can come up with requests for his own cake.

[donleyk]

Wow, what a beautiful cake. Congrats on doing such a fantastic job!

[Kayla]

De-lurking to say that's an incredibly gorgeous cake - perfection, even.

Any chance you want to fly to Colorado to make me my birthday cake?

[LA98]

Wow, that cake is just beautiful! Great job!

[Linda in MO]

WOW! That cake is stunning! I'm totally impressed!

[jmarie]

Well, as birthday cakes go......THAT IS ONE AMAZING CAKE!
YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB!:D

[Terri_A]

That's a GREAT cake Dana! You did a splendid job! Are the stars made of fondant??? They look really good.

[DebGo]

Dana -- awesome cake - you're amazing! my homemade horse cake for DD's bday pales in comparison :D

just as an aside -- i recently received a birth announcement and the family wrote something along the lines of: "we are blessed to have so many wonderful things to pass down to our new addition so in lieu of gifts please consider making a contribution that will make a lasting improvement for our children's lives" it was very meaningful.

DD's preschool class did a gift exchange this holiday of books. it was a ton of fun and all the kids loved it!

[DanaSD]

thanks everyone for the comments about the cake - you're all very sweet. It will be fun when Brendan is old enough to get excited about the design of his cake.

Yes, the stars (and stripes and bow) are fondant. The "1" and stars on top are fondant with a little tylose added to harden them (still edible but wouldn't taste good).