I am back!

[Susann]

Hi everyone-
I woke up this morning and, finally, feel like myself again.So of course I had to check in to see how everyone in bb Land is. As I read the responses on my 'bad news' post, I felt touched by the outpouring of emotion you ladies so generously shared. Thank you so very much for the encouragement and the kind emails. It is just what I need! Isn't it amazing that a group of ladies who have never really met can offer support so freely? If I could only figure out a way to send brownies through the internet, I would bake each of you some yummy treats!

Kim-You are right. I do need this bb to cheer me up!

Julie-Please keep us updated on how your friend is progressing (if you are comfortable doing so).

LisaP-You and I seem to be on some kind of parallel path. Didn't you also just get poison ivy???? I took clomid (all the way up to 150 mg) for 4 cycles and am happy to answer any questions you may have. I do hope the clomid does the trick for you.

Grace-Much congrats for Ovulating on clomid. I love hearing great news like yours!

Ewatkins-Thank you for the information. I agree with you completely that the previous thread I started was way too negative to discuss the miracle of adoption.

Anyway, like the post reads, I am back. I hope everyone who is going through steps to have children, whatever steps they may be, will continue to share so that we can learn from each other! Thanks again for making me smile!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[KValley]

Susann- I am so glad you are back. I was just going to send an email to my girl friend today to see how she and her DH are doing. I will keep you posted.

Sending hugs and positive thoughts- Julie

[Grace]

Oh yes, Susann, I'm happy you're back too! I know this board cheers me up, and it's true, we all have so much knowledge and experience to share, and we can learn so much from each other.

I'm very glad you decided to keep checking in here, and as I said before, I truly and genuinely hope everything works out for you and your husband. I will be thinking positive thoughts and praying for you! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Vanessa]

Glad you are back! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif This board is great & everyone is so supportive and kind

[LIsaP]

Hi Susann,
Welcome back-I am glad you decided to check in. I think it is sometimes easier to go through difficult things when you know others are in the same or similar boat!

Yup, I did just have poison ivy too! Still have it infact!

I do have questions about Clomid, but mostly, I feel that I am not ready to take that step yet. I feel that my dr is pushing it really hard-he says if I want a baby, I should take it-as if it is some magic drug that will make it happen! I know that isn't true and I am still in disbelief that things aren't going to happen naturally!
I think I want to find a new dr who is more understanding and less quick to perscribe medicine.

Best of luck to you-I am beginning to realize just how difficult this is! Especially with all my friends and neighbors having babies and everyone asking me about it!

[Susann]

LisaP-I still have my poison ivy also. What began on just one arm has spread in my bloodstream. It is so gross looking, you know?

Concerning clomid or whatever you decide to do-I have found that I have to really learn my stuff. The condition which I have is not too common (about 5 percent of women have it) and it appears that many doctors (even Reproductive Endocrinologists) are not as knowledgeable as we would expect. There are a ton of web sites where you can learn information.If you are interested,I will post some. Clomid does help some women, but it is certainly not a miracle drug (it did not work for me). I am hoping that everything works out for you! Have a great day, everyone!

[Kerri]

Grace-

I don't mean to get to personal or anything, but I was wondering why you didn't want to have the laproscopy? If you are worried about the procedure, it is really no big deal. I've had 2 due to endometriosis (plus Lupron injections, but that is another story). I don't know if you have had any pain because of the endo, but this surgery really helps to make it go away. I was back on my feet after 48 hours and feeling back to 100% in about a week. Hopefully because of all this, when I am ready to have kids I will be able to, but it is something I worry about.

Kerri

[goldilocks]

Grace & Kerri - just wanted to share that one of my friends also was suffering from endometriosis, and did have a procedure done, probably the one you are referring to. She has conceived 2 healthy babies probably as a result of the procedure. There is hope!

[kwormann]

SUsann, so glad to have you back!

I too have a friend that has a period but doesnt ovulate! She has a disability and couldnt possibly carry more than one baby, so fertility drugs arent an option for her.

Kim

[Grace]

Kerri and Goldilocks, thanks for being reassuring. Put plainly, I just can't handle doing it, now matter how simple the procedure. My decision is based totally on my personal experiences. I know lots of people who have had the surgery, but really, without going into a whole lot of details, I have been really traumatized by some medical procedures in my life, and my life has been filled with so much fear and anxiety (from other causes), and I finally feel like I've gotten to a place of peace within myself that has taken me the last two or three years to reach (and only with the tremendous amount of help and support from my dear, dear husband!). I just can't imagine subjecting myself to that anxiety again if I can help it. It may make me pregnant, but I wouldn't be much good as a mother locked in the mental institution! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

Also, part of the reason is because my sister has had the surgery twice, and she still hasn't been able to conceive, as well as a friend of mine who had it once, and she still can't conceive. So to me, the success rate isn't high enough (in my perception only!) to make it worth putting myself through all that. I just SOOO want to enjoy my life right now, for the first time ever, that it's just not something I want to sign up for.

Everyone who has had it tells me it's not a big deal (my sister included), but really, no big deal is subjective. I literally pass out and throw up when I get an IV. It's pathetic, but it's true

So anyway, I really and truly do appreciate that you are all willing to share your experiences with me. I absolutely don't feel like you've gotten too personal - I brought it up!! It's just something my husband and I have discussed, and we're just going to let God do His thing for now. Who knows, maybe someday I'll change my mind! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by Grace (edited 05-17-2001).]

[clairea]

Grace,

Have you considered Lupron injections? I know a lot of people don't like these (they basically throw you into a state of menopause for 6 months), but they can be effective. I had 2 laparascopies that did not help a lot with my endometriosis, but have also had two courses of lupron and have now successfully conceived (and carried to term) twice. The time on the lupron was tough, but the payoff was certainly worth it.

Just something else for you to think about.

[LIsaP]

Susann, and any other poison ivy sufferers, I have found great relief from a cream that my dermatologist perscribed called Clobevate. It completely relieved the itching and very rapidly dried the areas. Now I am just left with discolored skin.

I have actually done a lot of searching on the web for information about Clomid. My questions are more about what is wrong with me! I have not been diagnosed with any type of condition, just am not ovulating. If anyone has information for problems ovulating after going off the pill I would apppreciate it. I know there is some transition time, but it has been 8 months now!

[Grace]

Lisa, I don't have any answers for you, except to say that I too, do not ovulate (even though I get a period every month), and I have never taken the pill. The doctor didn't have any answers for me when I asked him why I don't ovulate. And as I said, the Clomid did work beautifully for me in that it did make me ovulate, but we were still unable to conceive because of my presumed endometriosis (they don't know if you have it for sure unless they go in and look, but I'm quite convinced I do have it). The endometriosis blocks the the nice, ripe egg(s) from being "scooped up" by the fallopian tubes after they are "ejected" from your ovaries. The only options for me are to have laproscopic surgery to have the endometriosis removed (which I don't want to do), or to do in-vitro, which I also don't want to do.

And, the other thing I have come to realize, is that our reproductive systems are so complicated, and the doctors don't know all the answers, it's a LOT of trial and error, and every person is different. What works for one person with say, endometriosis, doesn't always work for someone else with endometriosis. The process for getting pregnant is so darn complicated, I still marvel at how ANYONE is able to accomplish it!

Wish I had some definitive answers for you (and for me too!)

[Susann]

Grace-I had a laproscopy and hysteroscopy (spelling???) last summer to correct an unrelated problem with my uterus (it was also discovered I have endometriosis) . I was fine after about 3 days, but I do respect your decision to avoid surgery. Also, I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries here (feel free to tell me if I am, I won't be offended!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif ), but have you (and you, too, LisaP)considered seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? My regular gyn. had absolutely no answers for me last year when I wasn't getting a period. His solution was to just give me clomid without looking at the cause of the problem! I wasn't even diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) until I saw an RE. Hang in there!!!

[This message has been edited by Susann (edited 05-18-2001).]

[ewatkins]

Just one more word of advice on infertility. (I had many laparascopies, and flew across the country for 2 surgeries, a form of in vitro). When I ended up in the hosptital with an ectopic pregnancy, I knew it was time to stop. My advice is to explore all options and go for those that seem right, but only you and DH will know when it's time to stop. The docs will never tell you that you should stop. There will always be a new procedure, or something on the Web, or your helpful MIL heard about it, but at some point you can't take it any more. Then you either build your family another way, or go to Resolve meetings (infertility support group) to learn how to deal with it. So good luck, and try not to go crazy!!

[LIsaP]

ewatkins,
I like what you said! It is so true-the drs always have something else that you can try-they don't seem to really think about what you are going through so much as what can they give you/do to you next. That is one of the reasons I am so reluctant to go down this road to begin with! My dr's attitude is that if this doesn't work (Clomid) than we will try the next step and the next.
I am in the process of finding a new dr who is a bit more understanding and more willing to work with me and focus on my values and beliefs.
Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories-it is very helpful to someone just starting out on this path.

[Grace]

Hi guys...

Yes, Susann, I did see an RE. My regular gynie sent me to one right away because of my age (37). He didn't want to waste my time trying stuff, especially since my gynie is more an OB, and said straight out that his specialty is preganancy, not infertility. So it was the RE who gave me the clomid. He actually wanted to skip the clomid and go directly to laproscopy, based on my history/chart/ultrasound reports. But of course, for me, that was out of the question. I decided I'd start small, with the Clomid, and see how I felt about it after that. The Clomid was easy; something I'd do again, no hesitation. But as ewatkins so perfectly put it, only my dh and I know when to stop (thanks ewatkins). I guess that was what I was trying to say in my post above, when I saw my sister doing procedure after procedure and treatment after treatment, always something new and "sure to do the trick" each time. Eight years later, she is still childless, and she has been miserable, and in my opinion, has abused her body terribly (lupron shots twice - meaning two six month courses!, more surgeries than you can count, etc.). What kind of quality of life is that? To me, I just can't go that route. I like both my OB/GYN and my RE very, very much. Neither of them pushed me to do anything, and the RE always wanted my husband in on the discussion. He basically just laid out all the options plainly and clearly, gave us his professional opinion (which I trusted very much), and said, it's up to you two to decide, and that was that. And my husband and I did decide. We decided we're going to live our lives right now, and see what happens naturally (again, I DID get pregnant once, on the first try, with no medical help at all, so I know it's possible.) We are both happy with our decision, and we can always change our minds at any time (at least in the next few years!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif). But really, I'm opening my mind and heart to different possibilites/opportunities. Having your own isn't the only way to experience the joy of parenthood, so we'll see what happens. Either way, I have a GREAT LIFE!!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

Again, thanks everyone for your support and wonderful help and advice.

[BeckyM]

I really appreciate how open everyone is on this board about their "reproductive attempts". My husband and I are about to start trying (maybe even this month!), and I have no idea whether or not we'll be successful. It is reassuring to know there are people on this board who will be supportive and can share their experiences in case we have difficulties. Best of luck to everyone who wants to be a parent -- whatever methods you choose to try! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif