Not into Christmas?

[Lucinda]

Anybody else out there not getting into Christmas this year? I've talked to several friends and my mom and we all agreed that while we're looking forward to getting together with friends and family, we're not especially interested in doing the whole gift thing. It seems kind of pointless since we're all grownups who have pretty much everything we need/want. It would, of course, be different if kids were involved. I'm thinking of donating money to charities in loved ones' names-- there are so many great organizations that could use help-- and spend some extra time with friends and family and just forget about the gift merry go round.

Am I the only one to feel this way this year? Anybody trying to do the same thing?

[KristiB]

You're not the only one. I've preferred Thanksgiving to Christmas for many years because there's less pressure.

I do the charity donation for a lot of my relatives. Usually www.heifer.org. They really seem to like it.

This year I'm buying gift cards at www.kiva.org. That way they can keep recycling the $ to different people.

[Varaile]

I will quietly raise my hand. :o I would absolutely love it if I could talk my family into just getting together for a potluck meal or a simple meal together and we just hang out and not worry about gifts.

It's not that I'm feeling Scrooge-ish. It's just that I feel the emphasis for the whole season has been misplaced. :(

[donnamp14]

I am definitely not into it this year. DH's family has a grab and over the years it has devolved into exchanging gift certificates, since they are so easy and no one wants to spend the time thinking of an appropriate gift. Worse, I have no desire to have a tree! The kids each have their own apartments and this year their own trees, so I told them if they think a tree at "home" is important, they can come over and put it up, but they need to be there to take it all down and put it all away. I am just so tired of this rushing around. I decided not to send cards, because of the waste of trees, time and postage! Part of it is that I am in grad school and up to my eyeballs in assignments, and a demanding full-time job, I am sure. I don't even want to bother with the candles in the windows. It seems like a useless exercise. Believe me, this is not the "me" that I know! I used to live for Christmas and all that goes with it!

I think maybe I have moved on to a different stage in my life. I am glad there are others out there who have similar feelings. It's just one more PITA as far as I am concerned, and that's sad. I'll have to work on my attitude this year.

-Donna

[GingerPow]

Nope, you are not the only one. I love Thanksgiving, and I enjoy the decorations, music & movies and feeling of Christmas - the gift giving is meaningless to me.

My kids are teens and 20's and they have very specific items that they would like, so I buy a few things to unwrap and the rest will be gift cards. My oldest DD is a college student, so more than anything she needs $$$.

You have all expressed so much of my feelings about the holidays, it's about spending time with family, enjoying home and the season. The materialistic aspect is annoying, and I do not participate in that so much anymore.

We donate toys, coats and food to area charities, I'll always enjoy that. I really like KristiB's idea of charitable donations in the relative's names. Love that idea & just might 'borrow' it! ;)

[Home Chef]

It's so nice to read this. It's not that I'm not into Christmas, it's just that I'm not into what is becoming traditional - shopping, stress, gifts that don't mean much.
For several years now my husband and I have not exchanged gifts with each other. We don't exchange with his adult children, we get Angel Tree gifts for others instead and so do they. Our Angel Tree gifts go to children with parents in prison. This year the church has 550 gifts for children, each child gets a toy, clothes and a bible.
I do purchase for my 10 year old nephew and the 3 year old grandbaby!
We haven't put up a tree or decorations for about 12 years now (the first year we got the kittens) and the next year when it may have been safer, we got a Great Dane puppy, so that made that decision. Our house is not huge.
Every year I donate a party to my church's women's pregnancy crisis center and that's tomorrow night. It's for the clients, babies and mentors and I'm cooking for about 80.
I also volunteer in the church nursery every year during at least 1 Christmas service. I try and get the babies but will go with any age group.
I like giving gifts, we just don't think we need anything much, we have a lot more than a lot of people. I also like the season, just not much for decorating or buying lots of stuff.

[HDgirl]

I am not into it this year. Xmas has always been difficult since my divorce b/c my ex's bday is the 24th, he monolpolized both days. It has been better for the last several years as DS and DD are older. This year they are both leaving next week for six weeks visiting their father. On one hand I'm happy to have some peace and quiet but on the other, they won't be here for xmas. That is the hard part... going to my family's celebrations w/o my kids.

I decorated the outside of my house. I don't think I'm going to put up the tree this year, or do the baking I usually do. Maybe that will change as I get closer to xmas. :)

[DeeK]

It sounds to me like most of us are experiencing "burn-out". The Christmas blitz in advertising begins before Halloween and the whole focus is buy more, buy bigger and buy for everybody you have ever met. It has definitely changed how I look at the holiday.

Christmas has never been my favorite holiday. My Mom would get so stressed out by it all that the whole week before, week of, and week after Christmas would be miserable! I vowed when I had my own family it wouldn't be that way and for the most part, it hasn't.

We put up a tree. I actually like doing that part. Sometimes we put up outside lights. Sometimes we don't. It depends on whether we feel like it. This year we have cut WAY back on gift giving. I think I finally am comfortable with the fact that with only DH, DS (age 23) and me living here the tree is not going to look STUFFED with presents. So, I've stopped trying to fill the void and get a couple of meaningful gifts for each of us. This year it's mostly books for DS and DH. Don't know what they have in mind for me. ;)

I have mixed feelings about cards. I like giving them and I definitely like getting them, but the cost to the environment and the just plain $$$ cost has me in a quandry. This year I did cards. Maybe next year I'll decide not to. I'm up in the air on that one.

I will always want to celebrate the season, but I think from now on we'll be doing it in a much simpler form than in the past.

[ChristyMarie]

This is our third year of donating to charity instead of exchanging gifts and I gotta tell you - we all enjoy the holiday SO much more. Instead of just money we sponsor a family so we make a day of shopping for them then we go out to lunch/early dinner. It is truly quality time together. Then on the actual day we share a good meal, do a secret santa exchange and just relax.

:)

[SusanMac]

I'm not into it this year, either.

It's not the gift thing, though. The advertising & commercialization doesn't bug me b/c I typically ignore it. I still love picking out special things for my family. I did most of my wrapping last weekend, and was hoping that would get me in the 'spirit' but it didn't.

I'm just not into decorating this year. we're redoing our floors, have a new puppy, and so it doesn't make sense to have our regular tree. I just don't have a big desire.

We have a Xmas party to go to next weekend, so maybe that will do it for me. Maybe we need to go out & look at Xmas lights. Dunno.

I do find that I really need it, though. W/out getting into Xmas much, by time next summer comes around my whole body clock will be off.

[kima]

Nice to know I am not the only one!
When my girls were little we did Christmas with all the trimmings and we loved it. Now they are adults and we don't have any grandchildren so we have scaled way back and I love it! No tree, very little decorating and we only give gifts (money!) to our children.

We have everything we need and if we want to treat each ohter we do it throughout the year and when we feel inspired.

This year I bought mosquito nets for children in Africa and donated to my very fav charity, Doctors without Borders.
No hassles in the mall, no stress, no mess.No huge VISA bill in January.
We will enjoy our time together over the holidays -but then we always enjoy our time together. :)

I also used to bake like a fiend but we don't need all that fattening stuff that now we are older so I will bake maybe two favourite things and keep all that simple too.

Now that we finally celebrate the holiday on our own terms I don't dread it the way I did for a few years.

We need to let go of society's expecations and do what suits us.
(and if a big all out affair is your cup of tea- go for it!) :p

[Laura]

As many of you know, my kids and I are going to Europe the day after Christmas to drop DD off in France. As such, I really have no money left for presents, but the the memories from the trip will outlast any gift I could buy them.

I have enjoyed decorating this year though. We are venturing into a new season of life knowing that DD will be gone much of the time from here on out, and DS is only 3 years behind. It was a little bittersweet decorating the tree this year knowing that.

[BarbaraL]

Me too, me too. I'm not in the Christmas spirit. I've got some work issues going on that are very, very stressful. Dh is sick as a dog and unhappy. Several friends/family members have some health issues. Also, my mother died last year, so now both my parents are gone, which really affects me at the holidays. DD is away at college, busy with final exams and her friends.

I look forward to visiting with family and friends, but am not looking forward to shopping, etc. I used to love searching for the "perfect" gift, etc, but just don't have the time (or energy) right now. The kids are at the "gift certificate" age now anyway. It may be time to schedule a Christmas trip or something, rather than a pile of unneeded gifts.

Hoping the real spirit of the holidays comes to all of us soon!

[Lucinda]

Sales are down at my company and as a retailer, we make our year's profit mostly between Thanksgiving and Christmas. After talking to my friends and Mom, who all agreed they just want to spend time with their loved ones and forget about the gifts, I got to wondering if it is part of a bigger trend or is it just where we are in our lives or were we all just oddballs. Thanks for all your postings-- I don't feel so grinchish anymore! :D

[kima]

We are oddballs! :D

I do think as us baby boomers hit our late 40's and 50's :eek: that this may become a trend.
Also I am hoping another environmental awareness is emerging and people will see that mindless consumption and materialism is not good for our planet.

But then what I see people buying for their children makes me think the message is not getting through. :(

[ClaraB]

I find the title of this thread is very telling - Christmas has become a big material extravaganza, and "being into Christmas" means "buying wads of stuff". I'm into Christmas, but I'm not into the gift-giving so much. DH and I are really trying to tone down the gift orgy we have with the kids every year - maybe this year we'll succeed :eek: !

[GingerPow]

We are oddballs! :D

I do think as us baby boomers hit our late 40's and 50's :eek: that this may become a trend.
Also I am hoping another environmental awareness is emerging and people will see that mindless consumption and materialism is not good for our planet.
YES to all of the above! Especially the 'oddballs' part. ;) :D

[foodfiend]

Count me in as not into Christmas. At least Christmas Day. For several years now, I go to a movie with friends on Christmas Day before heading off for family dinner. It takes the edge off the "having to be deliriously happy" pressure. It's still a special day, but the expectations are more realistic. I've also noticed that I've seen more restaurants open and more people out and about on Christmas than a decade ago. Maybe other people have the same idea.

[kima]

We go to a movie on Xmas Eve and love it as we get the theater pretty well to ourselves.

[GingerPow]

Count me in as not into Christmas. At least Christmas Day. For several years now, I go to a movie with friends on Christmas Day before heading off for family dinner. It takes the edge off the "having to be deliriously happy" pressure. It's still a special day, but the expectations are more realistic. I've also noticed that I've seen more restaurants open and more people out and about on Christmas than a decade ago. Maybe other people have the same idea.
About 20+ years ago I worked in the main office of a large Philadelphia based movie theater company. The box office receipts on Christmas Day were often the largest number of ticket sales of any day of the year. I didn't understand it then, but now I get it.

[Middydd]

Now that we finally celebrate the holiday on our own terms I don't dread it the way I did for a few years.



We've toned it way down, gifts only for the children, outdoor lights, baking, a quiet dinner on Christmas Day with our best friends.

But I still get that feeling of "dread". I think it's from having a mother who stresses over the whole thing and then expresses her disappointment over my lack of interest in making a big deal over the holidays.

I saved a quote from this month's Food & Wine. It's exactly how I feel.

"The holidays, as they bear down on me, look the way an oncoming 18 wheeler does to a squirrel that's desperately trying to thread its way across an interstate."

Pete Wells, Food & Wine December 2006, page 118.

[armel]

I consider myself very into Christmas. I love shopping and the festive lights and the homemade goodies and the holiday parties and the Christmas cards and seeing friend and families. I listen to a radio station that only plays Christmas music.

I do what I want without burning myself out. I always get my shopping done before Thanksgiving so that I don't have stress of fighting crowds. Then I just enjoy the decorations when I go out to the stores. Just to participate in the holiday mood.

I did not decorate my house as I am driving to IL for Christmas and didn't want the work of taking down when I get back. But I love taking my doggie for walks at night this time of year and getting to see everybody's decorations.

And this year, there were lots of things that I had on my Xmas wish list. Some of which I know Santa will give me. :)

[kima]

We've toned it way down, gifts only for the children, outdoor lights, baking, a quiet dinner on Christmas Day with our best friends.

But I still get that feeling of "dread". I think it's from having a mother who stresses over the whole thing and then expresses her disappointment over my lack of interest in making a big deal over the holidays.

I saved a quote from this month's Food & Wine. It's exactly how I feel.

"The holidays, as they bear down on me, look the way an oncoming 18 wheeler does to a squirrel that's desperately trying to thread its way across an interstate."

Pete Wells, Food & Wine December 2006, page 118.

What a wonderful quote.
It is sad that so many people build up huge expectations for one day of the year and then feel depressed when it doesn't live up to their fantasy.
I stopped buying magazines in December because the images and articles feed into the fantsy of the perfect Christmas. I know many people feel inspired by the ideas but I also think many people feel,,like once again, they don't measure up to some ridiculous standard .(like weight, homes, appearance etc.)

Why not try and have a little bit of Christmas in your heart all year round is what I say. Enjoy family and friends, give to charities, think of others and feast like there is no tomorrow! ;)

[donleyk]

Why not try and have a little bit of Christmas in your heart all year round is what I say. Enjoy family and friends, give to charities, think of others and feast like there is no tomorrow! ;)

THIS is a wonderful quote. :)

[DeeK]

We are oddballs! :D

I do think as us baby boomers hit our late 40's and 50's :eek: (

Ohhhhhh ... I resemble that remark. :eek: is right! :D

[KimE]

I have to admit this year I am into Christmas, is will be the first time in 4 years all the kids will be home :D :D :D
So as you can tell the last 3 years have not been all that festive for me. This year, watch out!! I am already planning the Christmas breakfast, the whole 9 yards, they will all be here for only 2 nights. I told DH the other day that those 2 nights will probably be the best slept 2 nights I have had in 4 years because I will know that all 3 DD's will be safe and home.

Kim

[kima]

I have to admit this year I am into Christmas, is will be the first time in 4 years all the kids will be home :D :D :D
So as you can tell the last 3 years have not been all that festive for me. This year, watch out!! I am already planning the Christmas breakfast, the whole 9 yards, they will all be here for only 2 nights. I told DH the other day that those 2 nights will probably be the best slept 2 nights I have had in 4 years because I will know that all 3 DD's will be safe and home.

Kim

I can hear the joy in your voice! :) :)

This will be the first Christmas we won't have both our girls here so that has also contributed to my lack of enthusiasm.

And both our mums are gone and they also enjoyed the holiday so I made extra effort for them.

Anyway enjoy having your children with you- that is special.


IF I ever get a grandchild all bets on a simple Christmas are off! :p :D

[kima]

Ohhhhhh ... I resemble that remark. :eek: is right! :D

I am clinging to 40 something for one more year...... :eek: :o

This was not suppose to happen to me

[Natasha]

Things have been so hectic here I haven't had time to think much about the upcoming holidays. That being said, Christmas prep is pretty easy for me as I shop for gifts for very few people and make food gifts for several others.

I AM excited when I think about the holidays, though, because of the prospect of a big chunk of time off :) It's the one time a year I tend to take off that much time all at once. My company has a generous vacation policy, so I could take off longer amounts of time throughout the year, but I tend to use my days in bits and pieces throughout the rest of the year, instead of all at once. So I really appreciate the chunk of time off.

As long as my whole family is happy and healthy, and I get the chance to spend some time with them and others near and dear to me over the holidays, enjoying laughs and memories, listening to the Messiah and other Christmas music, and having some splendid food and no doubt a little splash of wine, I'll be an ecstatic camper. As far as I'm concerned, all the other stuff -- details, my friends, just details :)

Natasha

[DeeK]

I am clinging to 40 something for one more year...... :eek: :o

This was not suppose to happen to me

I'm into the 50-something and I'm hanging on to it for at least 9 more years (maybe more ;) )

[SusanMac]

Great attitude, Natasha! I know I will be enjoying several splashes of wine ;-)

I noticed several people equate not being in the mood with not wanting to shop for presents. I think that's a bummer. The shopping or present part shouldn't impact how you feel about Xmas, altho I can see how it does, it's just a shame that they're so tightly linked.

We do have a blanket of snow, and it looks like we'll be hosting Xmas dinner for our extended family for the first time in literally ages, so I'm starting to come around a bit :-)

[sneezles]

I'm betwixt and between. I used to love decorating for Christmas, baking for weeks on end, shopping, shopping, and then a little bit of shopping. The past couple of years has been difficult but mostly because of losses in the family, this year most especially.

I really miss that joy of getting ready. We have always donated to charities (DWOB also being a personal favorite) and participated in the angel tree at church. I guess I'm feeling more nostalgic this year but we've only done the tree and mantel, no outdoor lights...but I miss Christmas Past! :o

[Canice]

I don't feel at all in the Christmas spirit this year, but it might come. I've always loved Christmas but (because?) I only ever had a handful of people to shop for, and no pressure to "surprise and delight" and no travel or extended family - always very low key. Now I don't exchange gifts with anyone at all, though I do enjoy dropping an occassional surprise gift in the mail to someone if it's something I think they'll enjoy, or just a token to say hello. (But then I feel bad if they run out and get something for me; a "thank you" would be quite sufficient.)
I've always enjoyed the lights and the trees and the smells and sounds of the season, and all those shoppers downtown. I love my tree and the little old fashioned village beneath it, and sitting in front of the tree writing out cards and a good old-fashioned hand-written note to friends. It really is bright for me. Even brighter now that I'm not one of those shoppers, lol.

[estralita]

I agree with all of you.
;) ;) ;) I prepared a very special dinner for my lady friends last week. Decorations were kept to a minimum. A little decorated tree from Big Lots. haha.. I love to listen to christmas carols. Like to see other peoples outdoor lights, going to the movies, and eating Winter White from Baskin and Robbins, It only comes out once a year. I also look forward to an eggnog latte from Starbucks, getting a christmas outfit to wear to any parties I might happen to be invited to.
Our neighborhood is having a progressive dinner, which I totally enjoyed my first time last year.
I plan on going to early Christmas Eve Mass 5 pm, which is sung by the children and very beautiful.
My Mom flies in on the 20th and will take her window shopping in Laguna Beach and Fashion Island.
My sister will fly in from Ohio on Christmas day, so I am hopping for good weather and a stroll around Venice Beach.
As far as gifts are concerned I will send some cash to my 4 sisters who live out of state to get manicures, or?? I will tuck it into a Christmas Cd which I made along with a homemade cd cover.
My one son is getting married soon, so maybe something for them.
My other son is in Australia,,hmm maybe I will make cookies to mail to him.
I know that there are a few more gifts to be purchased,,but I will keep them simple also.
I think I have just outlined my perfect Christmas
Estralita

[vbak]

This year will be different Christmas for all of us. This Saturday we are having Christmas with 2 of our children, their spouses, and our 5 grandchildren, and some friends. Next Thursday, DH and I are leaving for Germany to celebrate Christmas with our older daughter, her DH, and our 2 grandsons. We didn't put up a tree because of the trip. We will come back home on NYs Eve day, and return to school on Jaan. 3. So, I am feeling a little empty without the tree and decorations.

This will be the first time we will celebrate Christmas with our 2 DGSs [5 and almost 3] and the first time in 7 years we will celebrate Christmas with our DD and her DH. I am very excited, but so much to do before we leave.

Vicky

[JellyBean22]

I'll raise my hand....
I'm really not into this year either....I would forego gift giving and decorations this year, but dh is really into it. He did most of the decorating, I helped a little so he thought I was into it. I haven't even started shopping, except for a less fortunate family with a terminally ill baby that we adopted. That I enjoyed doing, but the rest I could really do without this year.

A lot of people have forgotten what the true meaning of Christmas really is, and thanks to retailers this has become such an overly commercialized holiday. The Christmas stuff out at Halloween was ridiculous. Seems to be all about money and sales anymore.....sad.

[ChristieinMB]

I'm also skipping Christmas this year, we are moving on (I think) the 19th.

[testkitchen45]

Reading these posts has made me realize how lucky I am. It's so easy to stress over everything that has to be done at this time of year, and to remember that Christmas isn't about a to-do list. With all of you who are experiencing difficult or quiet Christmases b/c loved ones have either passed away or just moved away, I am realizing how lucky I am to have my healthy children still young enough to want to put up every single Christmas-oriented decor item that we've accumulated over the years, despite the huge job that is; to have my elderly parents both in good health and still with me; to have the means (though budgeting) to help someone less fortunate; and to have my beloved DH doing all this with me.

Thanks to all of you, and merry Christmas--however you choose to celebrate it! :)