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Thread: How Smart Are Men, Really?

  1. #1
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    How Smart Are Men, Really?

    Bless his heart he did the laundry for me. I think my endless complaining about the division of chores in our household kind of encouraged him into it. And he was aflame with laundry duty, too! He washed sheets, towels, kid clothes, couch blankets, chair covers… He even washed the pants I had just stepped out of as I hopped into the shower. Thing is, my cell phone was still in the pockets.

    This isn’t to say that I haven’t made tragic errors in judgment in the care of my family. I distinctly remember a certain Christmas Duck incident that poisoned all who ate it with a bad case of (...) Yes, including the dog. Merry Christmas indeed.

    However, my husband is a genius scientist. He’s a compulsive direction reader. He’s maniacally thorough and methodical. So, being the girl that I am, I can’t help but wonder. Is killing my cell phone with the washing machine a tragic accident?

    Or a brilliant scheme of his to never be asked to help with household chores?

    I wouldn’t ordinarily suspect him in this manner. Except that he also shrunk the crap out of all my sweaters.

    I think he was sending me a message.

    I yelled and screamed that he never should have washed my various colored sweaters together anyway. This makes me a great big fat jerk, because he did the laundry and got rewarded with screaming.

    (His plan is intricate and brilliant.)

    He calmly pointed out that yes, he knows to separate colors and whites. He toiled with many loads to shrink all my sweaters, thankyouverymuch.

    Further evidence of his diabolical plot: The Kitchen.

    Last time I checked, our kitchen was located in the very house he lives in. There’s a pantry for dry goods and a refrigerator for things that would rot if we kept them in the pantry. Dishes, silverware, appliances and cutlery have all enjoyed long residency in their respective cabinets and drawers.

    So here’s the scenario. My husband and I are sitting on the couch, watching The Dog Whisperer on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

    The First Strike: “Did we buy a brownie mix?” He knows full well we bought brownie mix. We always buy brownie mix. I know he knows this, so I say nothing. Ten minutes later, he realizes that the first wave didn’t have the desired effect. Time for more drastic measures. He pops up. “I’m going to go make me some brownies….”

    So it begins.

    “Where’s the mix?” “Where’s the mixer?” “Which mixers do I use?” “Where’s the oil?” “Which baking pan should I use?” “Do we have cup measures?” “Where are the eggs?” “What size is this pan?” “Where’s the cooking spray?” and on and on….

    His barrage of questions, surely, is a sadistic tactic to get me up off the couch to make the stinking brownies my <effin’> self.

    I ask him if he thinks that while he’s at work, I’m busy maliciously re-arranging our kitchen into an unrecognizable configuration designed to trick the end user. He just gives me his cute smile. I know that if I allow him to continue, I’ll have a giant brownie slinging mess to clean up. If I get up and make the stinking brownies, he’s outsmarted me. …Just like he did with the laundry. I instated a ban against him doing laundry of any kind…. $@%!.

    For all their seeming guilelessness, I think men might be this smart.

  2. #2
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    Here's a recipe that's right up his alley. BTW, I live with a genius just like yours.

    Chemical Cooking

    The Chemists' Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies:
    Ingredients:

    1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
    2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
    3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
    4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
    5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
    6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
    7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
    8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
    9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
    10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
    To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat-transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reation is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

    Engineering comments (Thanks, George):
    There are several points that probably should be made if somebody is to really follow this recipe:
    1. Quantities should be expressed in no more than 3 significant digits and preferably 2 (530 cc gluten, for example) because you can't measure them any more accurately than that anyway. (I'm the only person I know that has routinely cut wood to the thousandth of an inch.)
    2. Many of the ingredients are not sufficiently specific, for example item 8 could just as easily be hummingbird eggs, in which case you would need a LOT more than two. Recipe doesn't seem to say if you use or remove the carbonate encapsulation. (It is nutritious but gritty.)
    3. Item 9 doesn't say whether it is ground, solid, or what, and asks for a whole PINT of the stuff. If it is unsweetened, it would make the product pretty BITTER. I would understand it to mean something like a whole can of Baker's Unsweetened, while I suspect you really meant chocolate chips which contain a lot more than the powdered commercial product of the Theobroma cacao tree.
    4. Item 10 could be mimosa seeds, dal urhad (a small Indian legume), lentils, or any of a lot of other things. I don't think peanuts will go through a #10 sieve unless they are pretty finely chopped.
    5. 316SS is not good for cooking because of its low heat conductivity, like most of the other stainless steels, and 600 mm wide is bigger than most ovens. I'd recommend a 30x45 cm aluminum sheet.
    Just another Susan

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  3. #3
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    He does sound crafty! My dh=is the opposite. He gets cranky when I mess around in the kitchen too much. Apparently I don't put things back in the right place. So he usually does the dishes. And the laundry
    Understand, when you eat meat, that something did die. You have an obligation to value it - not just the sirloin but also all those wonderful tough little bits.
    Anthony Bourdain

  4. #4
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    My DH delights in putting things 'back' in the wrong place -- especially if he has had to unload the dishwasher to do it! However, I really don't complain, as he KNOWS not to touch the laundry, and he does all the vacuuming and most of the floor washing! After years of his being gone 3 - 5 nights a week, I was thrilled when he stayed home, and starting really helping! Retirement is a good thing!
    Kay
    I'm a WYSIWYG person -- no subterfuge here!

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jezebelly View Post
    The First Strike: “Did we buy a brownie mix?” He knows full well we bought brownie mix. We always buy brownie mix. I know he knows this, so I say nothing. .
    Now see, this is where I think I'd do exactly what your husband did. My DH doesn't answer me sometimes because he's so focused on whatever he's working on (usually something on the computer). I get really upset when he doesn't answer me because I know he hears me (he can tell me exactly what I said), but he's just not listening to me. That bugs me. I just think it's rude -- I don't care how silly or trivial you think the question is. Does your DH cook much? My DH doesn't do much cooking so, he's not necessarily going to know where I put all of the pots, pans and utensils.

    I mainly do the housework because I don't work outside of the house. And, my DH is also a genius scientist, but he doesn't play the silly games to get out of housework. Or, I'm just not that paranoid to think that he's playing games and ruining things on purpose. Afterall, I ruin more than my fair share of clothes (just recently ruined 2 maternity shirts in less than a week and one was new!) without even trying. Besides, if DH ruins my clothes then that means I go out and buy new ones! JMO.

  6. #6
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    ROFLMAO! That is so funny. Dh did the same exact thing with our laundry. He decided it was time for him to help. He washed EVERYTHING. Now, I'm not a big clothes horse by any stretch. I have a few "uniforms" of jeans and decent long-sleeved tees. Fancy, I know. What happened to my few outfits? Bleach stains. He doesn't know how it happened and still insists it wasn't on his watch. But gee, the one time dh does the laundry...

    My dh is also super smart. But does the man have an ounce of common sense?

    I can really relate. They are diabolical, these men.
    TKay

  7. #7
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    I have to laugh. I was making dinner tonight and DH was telling me about his day at work. He's a machinst. He gets all the complicated jobs now because he's done some very good work in the past. I told him he never learned the "laundry" trick- you do it wrong the first time so you don't get harder stuff.

    This is too funny. I know my DH can do laundry. He did his own since he left home at 18. And I know he can cook. He cooked for me when we first met, in order to impress me. But apparently my cooking is "so much better" than his. And now I can't get him to warm up a can of soup for me when I don't feel well.

    So, how smart are they? They know enough to feed our egos: "you're cooking is great- so much better than mine....." Mmmm hmmm.
    Wouldn't you like to be a Susan, too?

  8. #8
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    LOL. My husband will proudly present delivered pizza and/or McDonald's as his own exquisite cullinary contributions. He can't cook to save his life. When I hooked up with him, he was famous in pizza joints from Palo Alto to San Jose - he merely had to walk in and they knew to start preparing his standing order.

    He can't cook to save his life.

    Husband: "Are you hungry?"
    Translation: "Make me something to eat please."

  9. #9
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    Also, I will watch him fill a cereal bowl to the BRIM with CountChocula or something else stupid (Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp) and then laugh my head off at how alarmed he is when the milk displaces cereal all over the counter.

    Every time.

    I think this is code for: "Will you get me some cereal please?"

  10. #10
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    I think it might start early in life. DS has figured out that if I ask him to vacuum, he finds something to suck up that will make it stop, and I will get so frustrated, that I just take-over!
    Sherri

    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.

  11. #11
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    And I am already happy if my Husband takes the garbage out. He is the laziest something I ever met in my life. He droppes his stuff everywhere, complains if he has to open the dishwasher to get a clean glass, does not even know how our laundry machine works and if he cooks something, I know for sure that I have to check the dishwasher and take out my $150 Chefs Knife and my All Clad Pots & Pan.

    I wish he would help me more around the house but I guess it is more important to sit in front of the computer and play Online Poker or watch a movie he already saw a million times.

    Working 40h a week, Full Time Student and running a household is not always that easy - so I have to come up with a plan to make my Husband help me more around the house.
    Last edited by tyroleancutie; 04-07-2007 at 11:30 AM.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jezebelly View Post
    Husband: "Are you hungry?"
    Translation: "Make me something to eat please."
    seems like we are married to the same kind of men

  13. #13
    On the 23rd of this month I will be married my DH for 25 years, I have washed my share of money, pagers, pens that have caused everything else in the wash to turn blue. I have spilled bleach on dark towels, put uncountable loads of laundry into the washer that had to washed again because I forget about it and never put it in the dryer. I won't begin to tell of things I have done to our car, our food and in attempt to save money on barbers his hair. But with all of this the one thing it never made my DH do was question my whether there was a motive behind any of mistakes I made or question my intelligence because of them.

    I have this conversation with my friends quite often, they often say their husbands don't "help" around the house. I have a problem with this the very statement implies that somehow everything that has to be done to keep a house running is the responsibility of one person and anything that the other person does is a favor that they should be grateful for. There is also the tendency, among my friends at least, to not just accept what was done and say thanks, but to nit pick because it was not done exactly the way she would of have done. OK when DH cleans the kitchen he may not put things in exactly the someplace I would,but I figure since it I did not have to do the cleaning I don't minding opening a cabinet or two looking for a bowl or something. I don't care if you don't put fold the toles the same way I do or vacuum your way out of the room so there are not foot prints (one of my odd friends). I don't consider any job that needs to be done around my house mine or my DH who ever has time that week does it. I do most of the cooking because I like to cook and DH does do more of the clean up but that has just worked it self out over the years. If he is working a lot I won't something undone because it's his job and if I am working late he will make dinner.

    Stop reading so much into the cell phone thing or thinking that stuff put in the "wrong place" is plot to get out of doing stuff, maybe he thinks it just make sense to have it go in that spot for some reason or that as long as it is out of the way what difference does it make. DH has some kind of order to his system for Cd's and DVDs and the like you would think after 25 years I would have taken the time to learn what it is but I always put them back in the wrong, he never says anything I just see him fixing them ever so often, so I figure I can do the same with my kitchen stuff. Just let them do it there way buy a new cell phone and be glad you did not have to wash the sheets.

  14. #14
    How about the un-named DH who could never-ever remember where the fresh bath towels and extra rolls of toilet paper were kept? ("In the bathroom linen closet, dear!")

    Early one Sunday morning he came back to bed and proudly announced, "I just finished scrubbing the kitchen floor for you!" Just as I was gratefully snuggling back under the covers he added, "Now all you have to do is sweep!"

    However, I do agree with Phoenixcooking! I could never have done the kind of work DH did, and he never asked me to.

    I grew up thinking that men did the outside "men-type" jobs and that the women might possibly take care of the garden in addition to their normal housework. (Because that's what my parents and grandparents did). Times and responsibilities have changed. Today young married couples often share the house chores and more and more husbands are doing most of the cooking, to help their wives who have a full-time job.
    Last edited by ADM; 04-07-2007 at 11:50 AM.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenixcooking View Post
    DH has some kind of order to his system for Cd's and DVDs and the like you would think after 25 years I would have taken the time to learn what it is but I always put them back in the wrong, he never says anything I just see him fixing them ever so often, so I figure I can do the same with my kitchen stuff. Just let them do it there way buy a new cell phone and be glad you did not have to wash the sheets.
    See, I could live with that if it worked that way for me. Normally, DH will leave something out, put it in the wrong place, etc---- and I just put it back where it belongs without a word or put the mustard, mayo, cold cuts bread and milk away after he's made himself lunch (and he swears he does not leave stuff out. Guess he doesn't even notice that I'm putting it away.) No, in reality that does not bother me. What bothers me is: "I did the dishes. Why didn't you notice? You could say thank you." Um, yeah, but I wash the dishes 98% of the time. Or if I put something where it doesn't belong or do something that is not the way HE would have done it, I have to hear about it. My theory is that we should all pitch in to keep the house going and keep things in order. It just seems that most of the time I get the bulk of the work. Or I spend so much time on everyone else's stuff that my stuff is always unorganized. Then DH tells me how unorganized I am. I feel at times that I just can't win so I don't dwell on it. But really, it doesn't bother me a lot of the time- just on those days when I can't find the time to get it all done. I love my DH to death and I accept him as is. No two people can live together and never butt heads.
    Wouldn't you like to be a Susan, too?

  16. #16
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    How did you get them to do it?

    My H never unloaded the dishwasher. He never washed a dish....never picked up anything, (except that he was good to put his dirty laundry in the laundry room. I will give him credit for that)....after that, never touched the laundry. If I folded it and asked him to put it in his drawer, he would just let it lay.

    He never cooked unless I wasn't here and then it would only be to fry an egg for an egg sandwich or something like that. He would come inm, sit in his chair and just say "Get me this or Get me that...or make me this or make me that...."

    Now if he had some guy friends to show off for, he would make his famous squirrel gravy or his deer, but that was it.

    I'm curious...does your guy do it because you asked, or do they actually offer to help. (Not that it matters anyway, now.)
    Joyce
    You may have had a lot of unfair things happen, but when you look back over your life, remember something good that has happened for you. Replay the good memories. Joel Osteen

  17. #17
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    I have to admit I find these thread about "men" kind of sad. Men are people and there are actually many women today (particularly ones who have focused on their careers and not the fine art of housekeeping) who don't know how to do laundry, cooking etc.


    I know many men who are like my DH- he cooks, cleans, changed baby diapers, does laundry....I never have to ask him unless it is something I was planning to do and didn't have time to get to. He actually does all the ironing and mending as I hate both jobs.

    He always says he credits hs mum for teaching and expecting him to do housework. I imagine the men I know who also do their fair share also had mums who expected them to help around the house as well.
    I hope this next generation of boys are taught how to do these basic skills-I know my daughters have every expectation that the men in their lives will be like their dad and our friends.
    You think you're not ever going to be able to eat another thing, but alas, you will find yourself feeling strangely peckish around teatime. The more you eat, the more you want. That's the way it goes."

    Nigella Lawson

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmarie View Post
    How did you get them to do it?

    I'm curious...does your guy do it because you asked, or do they actually offer to help. (Not that it matters anyway, now.)
    Joyce
    Fighting with me would suck way more than doing the dishes.

    I make sure of that.

  19. #19
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    Men's brains are "wired" differently than women's. This is one of the chief differences between the sexes. Note the domestics skills section of a man's brain located near the back of the skull. The differences of male thought processes shouldn't be criticized but celebrated!


  20. #20
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    Change diapers, take the garbage out, change the oil in my car and do the brakes- yes he does all that (well, no more diapers- but we shared that chore). He'd get the kids ready for daycare 3 days each week, including making their lunches. So, like I said, I love him to death and I know that he does pitch in, too- it just seems like those things that are looked upon as "women's work" still fall to me. I honestly think he doesn't know how to work our new washer and dryer so he has not done laundry since November, when we bought them. However, he doesn't do food shopping for the family, cook, plan meals, or do dishes or keep on top of the kids' schedules. I honestly believe he views most of that as my job because I am the mom.

    I think the point here is just to vent a little bit and commisserate with each other. No need to take this too seriously. Not like I plan to end my marriage because my husband critiques the way I wash the dishes, when he doesn't
    even attempt to wash any. It's just one of those things I'll never understand.

    Marriage is about compromise and understanding one another. We learn to live with each other and our curious habits (and we all have them, even if we're not willing to admit it!)
    Wouldn't you like to be a Susan, too?

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Jezebelly View Post
    I instated a ban against him doing laundry of any kind…. $@%!.
    Now, see, there's your problem - you should have just banned him from doing your laundry.

    Actually, this is the arrangement that DH and I have. He doesn't touch my laundry, but he does his own. Many years ago he complained about when I was doing laundry. I told him that if he didn't like the way I did laundry, well, he was a grown man and could easily do his own. I still do all the towels, sheets, etc., but he does wash his own clothes.

    Seriously, I do think that there are many people (men and women) who are more than happy to let their spouse/significant other take care of them and those of us who are married/committed to them need to pick our "battles" wisely and decide what is really important in our lives.

    Cheryl
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    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

  22. #22
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    LOL Gumbeaux! I'm half tempted to photoshop the disclaimer "Enlarged to show detail" on that pic.

    Good thinkin' phantom

  23. #23
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    We have quite a few threads about how men are incompetent or clueless when it comes to housework and childcare.

    We women don't like to pigeonholed and I don't think most men do either. YES men and women are wired differently-of that I have no doubt.
    But maybe we let each of the sexes off the hook in some roles starting at a young age when we shouldn't.
    Picking up after yourself, doing dishes, caring for your young children etc etc. are just basic HUMAN skills that everyone is fully capable of doing.

    I know very few men that are like the husbands described here. I know stay at home dads and dads who do all the cooking and grocery shopping. Lots of them actually. I think of those guys when I see "men" all lumped together.
    Anyway I am not worked up about it -just sharing the notion that "men" aren't all the same.
    You think you're not ever going to be able to eat another thing, but alas, you will find yourself feeling strangely peckish around teatime. The more you eat, the more you want. That's the way it goes."

    Nigella Lawson

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by kima View Post
    We have quite a few threads about how men are incompetent or clueless when it comes to housework and childcare.

    We women don't like to pigeonholed and I don't think most men do either. YES men and women are wired differently-of that I have no doubt.
    But maybe we let each of the sexes off the hook in some roles starting at a young age when we shouldn't.
    Picking up after yourself, doing dishes, caring for your young children etc etc. are just basic HUMAN skills that everyone is fully capable of doing.

    I know very few men that are like the husbands described here. I know stay at home dads and dads who do all the cooking and grocery shopping. Lots of them actually. I think of those guys when I see "men" all lumped together.
    Anyway I am not worked up about it -just sharing the notion that "men" aren't all the same.
    Thank you. I think you captured the critical point which is getting people, both male and female, on the path early. I know I have an appreciation for cooking, laundry, ironing, mending my clothes, etc. from my formative years. I was taught by my parents about all the around the house tasks before I was 6 so I'm comfortable helping around the house.

    Peace,
    Les
    Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut. 31:6 (NIV)

    Reflections on life and spirituality can be found at https://revles.wordpress.com

    Visit my new ministry site: St. John's Episcopal church, Suffolk VA.

  25. #25
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    Actually, the critical point is to have a sense of humor.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jezebelly View Post
    Actually, the critical point is to have a sense of humor.
    If they had a british smiley face with a monacle this would go better but...
    Right-O!
    Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut. 31:6 (NIV)

    Reflections on life and spirituality can be found at https://revles.wordpress.com

    Visit my new ministry site: St. John's Episcopal church, Suffolk VA.

  27. #27
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    I once had a boyfriend who, for a change, decided to help out with the laundry and in doing so destroyed ALL my bras at once. ALL OF THEM. I hadn't a signle wearable bra when he was done. I don't know if he was trying to get out of doing laundry forever, or if he just wanted me to go braless, hee hee.

    I think this thread is funny, and I'm sure Jezebelly and the others are fully aware that there are lots of men who are in charge of the laundry, cooking, cleaning, or other tasks around the house. Threads like this are like blonde jokes--you know they're not really representative of reality. Jezebelly seems to be poking fun at herself as much as at her DH, IMO.

    My own DH is not good at laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, or loading the dishwasher, so I gladly take on all those myself. He is very good at vacuuming and mopping (both of which I hate), so he always does those himself. He also takes out the trash and the recycling since it's easier for him to do it than it is for me to do it. He'll change the baby if he's home when the baby needs it, but I do it the majority of the time. I'm fine with this system, and get a laugh more than anything else out of the fact that he really is crap at laundry, the dishwasher, etc.
    "In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport."
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  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jezebelly View Post
    Actually, the critical point is to have a sense of humor.
    Humor is subjective. Some people laugh at racist jokes too. Some people don't think they're funny. Some people don't think sexist jokes are funny either.

    You can't tell people what they should/shouldn't think is funny.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grace View Post
    Humor is subjective. Some people laugh at racist jokes too. Some people don't think they're funny. Some people don't think sexist jokes are funny either.

    You can't tell people what they should/shouldn't think is funny.
    My first response to the subject header here was extremely negative and Lord knows, I've got a great sense of humor.

    I wonder what the reaction would be if I titled a responding thread "How Petty are Women, Really?"

    Bob

  30. #30
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    Does anyone remember Home Improvement? Jill used to criticize Tim in just the same way we have been poking fun at our men... not really intending to hurt, but maybe hurtful just the same. Then, when she was in psych school, she realized what she was doing....(and it ended the program)

    It's easy to hurt people's feelings without intending it, and when your feelings are hurt, the intentions don't really matter, do they? just a thought
    Kay
    I'm a WYSIWYG person -- no subterfuge here!

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