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Thread: OT: 100lbs gone yet I cried all the way home

  1. #1
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    OT: 100lbs gone yet I cried all the way home

    Mean people suck.

    Last night the scale coughed up exactly .4 lbs for my Weight Watchers 100 lb celebration. Everyone was cheering, the leader had tears in her eyes and I was over joyed. When I finished speaking, a couple of women I have become friends with (in the 100+ club!) actually had tears in their eyes. I was walking on clouds and truly felt blessed.

    That elation was killed in less than 10 seconds by a panhandler sitting at the subway entrance. As I walked by he said, "Spare some change for food? HEY FAT GIRL, YOU CAN SPARE SOME CHANGE!" I was too shocked for a smart reply. When you hear it happening to other people, it's so easy to give advice and rationalize that it has nothing to do with you. But even as my mind tried to work it through, the tears were running down my face. I have had comments made to me in the past, but for some reason the fact that a panhandler begging on the street could be in a position to insult *anyone* seemed even worse. And on this day. This day where I felt strong like an Amazon, I rode the subway home crying with my face buried in a book so people wouldn't see my humiliation and pain. Maybe it was that man, maybe it was a reminder of other rude comments in the past. Perhaps it was the flashback to my mother who when I lost 70 pounds congratulated me by saying "Well, you've been up and down so many times, it's really hard to tell" and when I showed her the "before" picture (obvious proof right?) she said, "pictures can be deceiving you know."

    Thanks Mom. Thank you nameless beggar. Thank you for reminding me that no matter how much I lose, mean people still suck.

    I've updated my website. My dearest cutie in the whole world forced me to last night when all I wanted to do was hug him and cry. It made me feel better though I'm still feeling sort of weary and sad today. I'm hoping that with time, a trip to Tiffany's for my bracelet, a weekend in New Orleans and the support on this board that I can forget the street incident. That I will remember I can do anything I put my mind to. That I am blessed, beautiful and strong like an Amazon.

    JeAnne

  2. #2
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    JeAnne,

    I am in tears as I write this. You are so beautiful, strong, and courageous. To hell with stupid, thoughtless people. You are an incredible inspiration and a reminder that we are all capable of amazing things.

    I am sending an enormous hug your way.

    Besos,

    Julie
    If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in! Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends.

  3. #3
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    Keep those positive thoughts! Don't let anyone bring you down! You are to be commended for sticking with it and losing 100 lbs. Keep up the good work and have a happy day.

  4. #4
    Oh JeAnne - Your post is very moving. Please, please don't let someone who is unhappy with their own life, negatively effect yours. From what I can see, people who are mean to others are really just angry at themselves or at forces at work in their own lives. I know you probably know that, but keep reminding yourself! Don't let anyone take away from all that you have accomplished. 100 pounds - that's fantastic!!! No one can take that away from you unless you let them. And keep surrounding yourself with people, like your "dearest cutie" who are positive, giving and supportive. You go girl!

  5. #5
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    JeAnne - forget the moocher/bum...and all the other names in the book. He isn't worth anymore of your valuable/precious time.

    Congrats. You have accomplished soooo much - keep up the good work!!!!

  6. #6
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    How sad to get your bubble burst! But, as you know, the whole picture is so much more important. Maybe you were crying for other reasons, also. You must have some many emotions floating around after hitting that huge 100 lb landmark.

    Try as hard as you can to let the mean comments go. The panhandler says that to everyone who passes by, for all you know. You have every right to feel strong and proud. Keep up the great progress. You are truly an inspiration. And, of course, enjoying Tiffany's, etc.

  7. #7
    JeAnne,

    First off, YOU GO GIRL!!!

    You are an amazing and beautiful person, and your web site and stories show all of that and more.

    Regarding the man and his comment, it would have been so easy to come up with an equally mean (or even meaner) comeback. But, we don't know his circumstances OR his mental capacity, so you need to try and just let it go. You know the pain and suffering you've gone through to get this far. Do NOT let this set you back ONE BIT!!!

    I for one am very proud of you. Thanks for sharing your story, and your life with us all.

    Keep up the good work!!!!!!

  8. #8
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    Oh I am so sorry!

    Oh Jeanne, I'm so sorry--what a crappy thing to happen on such an important day. Maybe the best thing to do at first is to sit down and let yourself have a big cry; it always makes me feel better. Then when your done, you can remind yourself that you have achieved a huge accomplishment and no one can take that away from you. You're on your way! I'm sorry your mother feels so threatened by your success that she's unwilling to share in the happiness. As for the panhandler, he's obviously very good at what he does--he clearly found the right button to push in an attempt to humiliate you into helping him. Celebrate that, despite the fact that it hurt your feelings (completely understandably), you didn't give in to his emotional blackmail. Sounds to me like you are indeed a strong woman! Keep moving forward and know there are people who love you and are there for you (like your husband). The others don't know what they're missing.

  9. #9
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    JeAnne- you are amazing! I can't imagine the strength and fortitude it has taken to accomplish what you have done. I can never understand what causes people to be so hurtful. Know in your heart though, that everyone here is cheering you on and thinks that you are an amazing woman.

  10. #10
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    WOW!

    I just checked out your web page, you are truly magnificent!!!!!

    I am so impressed. You have had a long journey, and have been so successful.

    I can't believe that incredibly rude person on the street...but it really must hurt.
    Having said that, you must stay focused on the progress....and give 'em a black eye, like your Miss Piggy quote on your webpage!!!

    You look so happy and proud in your pictures- it looks like you have at least one very special friend in there!!

    Glad to meet you, by the way. It is fun to see a BB'r in pictures!

    Thanks for sharing, and keep up your great progress.

  11. #11
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    Oh JeAnne...I know what you're feeling. First of all, congratulations on the 100 lbs!! There is no reason at all for you to feel humiliated, depressed or sad...but just because you have no real reason doesn't mean you won't.

    I lost 100 lbs five years ago. On the day I hit the mark I was dancing around my living room with my dog singing at the top of my lungs. My roommate came into the room, turned down the stereo and asked what was going on. When I told him I'd lost 100 lbs as of that day, he said "Oh...so how many more pounds do you have to go?" He deflated my balloon and all I could do was sink to the couch.

    You have worked long and hard to get where you are. REGARDLESS of how much weight you have yet to lose, you have accomplished more than a great many people will ever have the determination and the motivation to even attempt. Sure, you may look in the mirror sometimes and still see what you have YET to lose...but on that mirror, my friend, you need to tape a photo of where you used to be. Friends and family members will never understand completely what you've done and how important it is to you because they haven't been in your size 22 pants and heard the snide comments or haven't gotten a smirk from a stranger when you reach for a second helping of mashed potatoes at a buffet. YOU are the one that has felt those eyes boring into you and YOU are the one that has dealt with those hurtful remarks and rolling eyes. YOU are the one that has had to deal with no one believing you when you say that this time you really mean it and are really going to do it. As well-meaning as family and friends are, because they haven't been through it, they don't know. Don't be too hard on your mother, but if I were you I would look her straight in the eye and tell her that you are very proud of yourself, and that you hope she is too.

    You need to remember exactly how you felt when that scale came up to the right number. Go write down in a journal everything you felt, everything that was said to you, and remember those cheers and tears. Reading over that page in your journal will be a source of great comfort for a very long time. Ask yourself how long it's been since you felt that way about yourself? Nothing tastes as good as that feels...

    Don't let 'em get to you JeAnne. You've done it!! You did exactly what you set out to do!! Go out and buy yourself something wonderful, grab that wonderful man of yours, and go hit the dance floor this weekend! You're an inspiration, and don't you forget it! We're proud of you!!

  12. #12
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    Thumbs up

    Just pulled up your web page! I THINK YOU ARE AMAZING!
    You are so beautiful, and you have made such strides in your weight control. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! Don't let a homeless, demented slime ruin all amazing weight loss.
    Think positive, I know that you can do it!
    Curleytop

  13. #13
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    Cool Congratulations!

    WOW, Jeanne! Your accomplishment is truly incredible! I know how very hard it is to lose weight, and you should be very proud of yourself. I really cannot add much of anything after reading all of the replies, especially Jewel's fabulous one. I just wanted you to know that I think you're awesome!!!

  14. #14
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    JeAnne,
    It just seems days ago that I was congratulating you for losing 75 pounds. I thought that was the greatest accomplishment ever and now 100 lbs. WOW!!!
    I could think of some very choice words for the panhandler; but it wouldn't have been worth your effort. He's (and others who insult you) are life's losers. You are a loser of pounds YEA!

  15. #15
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    You are incredible!

    Jeanne --

    So much has been posted here that I'm sure I won't be able to say things any better. But I just want you to know that you are an incredible person for being so dedicated and self-motivated. It takes an awesome inner strength to accomplish all that you have done, so be proud of yourself for that! Don't let anybody take those positive feelings away from you. That slime bucket on the street doesn't deserve to have you spend time thinking about him and being angry!

    Anyway, we are all so proud of you and I thank you for letting us in on your life! Keep your chin up!

    Heather

  16. #16

    I'm so sorry you were hurt!

    And you are right, mean people DO suck! But most of them dislike themselves and that is why they try to hurt others. They wnat the world to share their misery.

    Now...if I had more time...I'd write nearly a book on this subject. It is obvious you are a very sensitive person (so am I!) who would never dream of hurting someones feelings intentionally. Since I have about 30 seconds left of my lunch break, I'm going to share one of my most favorite quotes with you. And remember, how you react is UP TO YOU!

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

    You just keep on feeling good about yourself. You are a kind and beautiful person with much to offer. This world needs more like you! Take care and hold your chin up!

    Deanna

  17. #17

    Thumbs up You are amazing!

    Jeanne,

    I am so proud of you and you can't let anyone take away your success! What an amazing thing to accomplish, you go girl!!! All that matters is that you feel good about yourself. Don't worry what those mean people say. As a fellow WW, I support you and I am so happy for you!!!

    PJB

  18. #18
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    Jeanne, congratulations on your loss! I too am a struggling WW member. Do you know what I find to be so amazing about this whole thing? The people in your WW class were so happy and proud for you, yet someone in your own family can't even muster up any support. My mother is the exact same way and it just makes me furious. Lately her comments to me haven't been about my weight but my finances. I've struggled for 4.5 years to pay off credit card debt (only 7 months left) and yet she told me the other morning "If you don't have any money by now, you'll never have any". Just this week I have qualified to purchase my very first house and I haven't even told her. I just think it's sad when family members can't even be as supportive as friends. So Jeanne, I said all of that just to say: YOU GO GIRL! We're all proud of you!
    Elizabeth
    Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says...."Oh s***, she's awake!! "

  19. #19
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    Jeanne -

    Don't you dare let mean people bring you down - you are INCREDIBLE!!! Truly an inspiration - congratulations and keep on keepin' on!!

  20. #20
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    Smile We're all very proud of you !!!

    Just went to have a look on your website. You are such an amazing woman and an inspiration for most of us. Keep your chin up, you're beautiful ! ((((( Hugs ))))))
    Irene B.

  21. #21
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    Jeanne-

    There's nothing I can add to Jewel's fantastic post, except to say that the fact that so many of us (including me!) cite you as an inspiration is something that you can wrap around you like a warm blanket to ward off cold, nasty, unfeeling comments like those of the homeless man and your mum. I'm so sorry that happened, because I know just how it feels. Even when credible people support you, if random meanies say hurtful things, it's hard to get rid of the sting. Hug your honey lots, and enjoy that sparkley new toy--you earned it! I'm so proud of you.

    -Amanda
    "Heroes are not giant statues framed against a red sky. They are people who say: This is my community, and it's my responsibility to make it better."-Tom McCall (Oregon governor from 1967-1975)

  22. #22
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    JeAnne,

    Congratulations on your major accomplishment!

    Mean people do suck and I'm glad to see that you have surrounded yourself with wonderful, supportive people who know your true worth and accomplishment.

    Channel that anger. It's not easy to just "forget it" - instead of letting it fester and depress you - use that anger. Your post was very timely for me, just this morning after I'd wrestled for several minutes with getting up and going running, I finally got out the door only to hear a cattle call from a passing car. When you're running you have plenty of time to obsess and think petty thoughts - and I thought them all. But you know what, I was proud of myself for getting myself up and running and I even was motivated to not cut my run short (the promise I'd made to myself just to get out the door). Being Moo-ed at is pretty mortifing and obviously bothers me quite a bit, but you said it - Mean people just suck. I on the otherhand am a Runner.

    Kim

  23. #23
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    Jeanne, your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry about what happened. I can totally understand how that one comment could dredge up the past and all the emotion that goes with it. Having said that, I want you to know that I checked out your website, and I'm truly stunned! You are such a beautiful , talented woman, and you have accomplished so much! And I'm positive that you are well on the road to accomplishing so much MORE. You are a real inspiration to me.

    Sarah

  24. #24
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    Hi JeAnne,

    I, too, was crying when I read your letter. I then checked out your website to see your progress. You are absolutely beautiful!! Don't let some nameless jerk get you down. Remember, when people insult you, it's usually because they're jealous of something in you. Aside from perhaps trying to shame you into giving him money, he probably saw how happy you were and was jealous that he doesn't have that feeling. I think SandyM is right, too, in saying that his mental capacity is probably diminished. REGARDLESS...you should feel so proud of yourself for losing ANY weight, much less the incredible accomplishment of losing 100 pounds!!! And as for your mother and her comment about being up and down so many times....forget whatever awful meaning she intended, and look at it the opposite way -- it's not that you've failed by regaining weight, but rather that you've SUCEEDED so many times by losing it again, and that you've NEVER given up trying!! You have accomplished something that VERY few people are able to do -- and it didn't happen overnight -- you stuck with WW for 10 months!!! to get where you are. PLEASE PLEASE don't let some jerk (or a few jerks) get you down. Remember how strong and wonderful you are, and realize that you are 10 times better than those naysayers. Forget about the panhandler and just remember that wonderful meeting and how proud you felt.
    tracey

  25. #25
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    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your accomplishment. Losing 100 lbs truly amazing! I know you are proud of yourself. Please keep a positive approach.

    People who say negative or cruel remarks are doing this to hurt you. They do not share your joy or feel support for you. This is because of their own insecurities and weaknesses. They do not have inner strength and confidence in themselves, so they bully others with nasty remarks. Please do not let them prevent you from celebrating!!!

  26. #26
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    Thank you so much everyone. You have all made my day.

    The issues with my mom are 29 years worth. Sad to say part of my success today is distancing myself from her. I have tried everything...communication, trying to be the perfect daughter, confrontation, etc...and finally I decided the one way street had to end. Someday I hope things will be different and for now I am thrilled to have the support system I *do* have.

    Jewel, all I can say is " oh yes, my friend". Everyone who has food/weight issues has a struggle whether it is 10 lbs or 200 lbs. For people who have over 100 to lose, it is truly a different kind of struggle and therefore a different kind of joy when we get the results.

    I can truly say that at 100 lbs lighter, I am a different person. I am able to do things that I couldn't do and have the confidence to express myself in ways I couldn't before. Every lb lost on top of this is icing on the cake so to speak.

    And that tastes good.

    Thank you again. You have all helped me get back on track head wise and realize what truly is important

    JeAnne

  27. #27
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    Know that your true friends (US!) are more than proud of you. I am highly impressed, seeing that I need to lose 20 and I cant seem to do it, you have lost my 20 - 5X over. That is quite an accomplishment!


    I know from experience that there are those in the world with the "power" who feel the need to step on those of us who are "weak". Know that there are more of us sweet "weaklings" who may get stepped on in the walk of life, but in the end we will come out ahead for being the better person. We are out here and will always be there for each other.

    I am proud of you!
    ~Kim~

    Nashville Restaurant Examiner - check out my page
    Check out my blog: Zen Kitchen http://onehotkitchen-kim.blogspot.com/

    "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
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  28. #28
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    Wink Way to go!!

    JeAnne- I cannot even fathom the discipline and inner-strength that it took you to get to the fantastic place you were at your WW meeting last night. You should take great pride in your accomplishment--what an inspiration!

    I completely agree with the others that people who put others down and belittle them are very unhappy people, and their only way of making themselves feel better is to make others feel worse.

    I'm sure it's hard to put those instances aside, but for every one "doubting Thomas" or mean person in your life, believe me, I'm sure there are countless people pulling for you and that are proud of you and do believe in you!!
    In a nutshell, I'm saying no to fishbread.
    - Wendy W - CLBB

  29. #29
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    Jeanne,

    I think your accomplishment is so admirable and inspiring. I never realized how difficult it is to lose weight, until I realized I needed to lose some myself. Changing my eating and exercise habits and losing weight was one of the more difficult exercises in discipline I have EVER gone through. I have such respect for you regarding your 100 lb. weight loss. That takes incredible, sustained discipline, and it truly is a very wonderful accomplishment.

    I am so sorry for the hurtful comment, and I believe the vast majority of us, if not all of us, can relate due to some thoughtless or mean-spirited person sometime in our life. It cuts to the core, and reminds us just how powerful (negative, as well as positive) the tongue can be.

    "I know that the tongue has the power of life and death... (Proverbs 18:26a)

    The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4)

    Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

    Your story has reminded me today that I need to choose my words carefully, and always use words that encourage, rather than tear down. Thank you for sharing your story, and reminding me how easily I can use my tongue negatively, especially to those that I love the most.

    I hope that you can surround yourself with those that are wise, and are blessed with healing words.

  30. #30
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    You Go Girl!!

    I can't add more to what has already been said, but let it be known that we are so proud and grateful to have you in our lives!! I can't say anymore than this, look at the outpouring of kindness from the people who really care!!

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