July Wobbly Toddlers

[ellery]

Thought I'd start us off this month and remind anyone whose kidlets fall in this category that you're welcome to join us.

Me, Leah, 37 and holding on for dear life
DH, 39
Danny, 16 months on the 27th

Not too much exciting going on here. Celebrated the 4th by taking Danny to this indoor playground place with the inflatables - the slides, bouncy rooms, etc. I'm not sure who had the most fun - me or Danny. Everything was adult sized, so we got to jump and slide right along with Danny and we all had a blast. He just giggled almost the whole time (besides the initial shy phase when we first got there). It's so neat to watch him exploring and playing on his own as he turns into Mr. Independent. Here's a pic...



Other than that, he's got his 15 month checkup on Friday. I always get excited to see how much he's grown. And I'm curious to see what the ped says about the stuff he seems to be behind on - still no progress on giving up the bottle (despite trying straw cups, different sippy cups, etc.), moving on to new foods (he's doing pureed foods one meal a day, per his daycare teacher's recommendation), and his not seeming inclined to talk to us. He'll say mama or dada at times, and seems to try to say other things - "duck" tonight in the bath, and yesterday I sneezed and heard him say "choo!" I'm just now starting to introduce him to utensils (am I way behind in this?) and let him try to use the spoon each night. He seems to get that the spoon goes in the bowl, comes out with food on it and then goes in his mouth. But I'm not ready to turn the reins over just yet... I don't think that he gets that this is how he eats, versus just being a fun new game.

He seems to be understanding very well these days, and follows directions quite well. He retrieves things for me when I ask him to, sits down to take his shoes off when I ask, etc. It's so cool!

So how is everyone else doing?

[LA98]

Hi Leah, what an adorable picture of Danny! That sounds like a really fun place you went to. Love the "choo"! You must have cracked up. I'd be fake sneezing like mad just to hear it. Oh, and I had to laugh about your "holding on for dear life" comment: my birthday was on the 4th and it's the last one I'm going to be acknowledging!!!

Jason's also got his 15-month appointment on Friday. He's still being a little devil. The fourth molar is just peeking through now, thank goodness. And for some weird reason (NOT that I'm complaining!) he's been taking awesome naps the last few days instead of his usual 30 minutes. He slept 2 1/2 hours on Sunday, which he hasn't done since he was 3 months old. I almost went in to see if he was breathing! I'm sure it's just a phase but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. He also gave up his morning bottle on his own this week. His morning routine has been to go to the fridge, pull on the door, screech at me until I open it , then he'd take out his bottle of milk. Last few days he's been reaching in and selecting a container of yogurt instead. So we're down to one bottle before bedtime. Yay! Like Danny, he's also doing cute things like following directions, giving a bottle to a baby doll, and mimicking whatever I'm doing or big brother is doing. One good example of that is throwing stuff in the garbage. I remember this phase with Brian, we lost all kinds of stuff, a few pieces of silverware, the remote control, a medicine spoon, etc, etc!

Here he is with his latest obsession, pushing DH's full-size mower up and down our very long driveway!

[LHBryan]

Hi Leah and Lori! Sounds like your little guys are doing well, and I love the photos. They are both so grown up!

Leah--The indoor playground sounds amazing. Let us know how Danny's dr.'s appt. goes. I remember asking that same question about utensils and don't think you're behind at all. We're letting Hannah use a spoon here and there, but nothing consistent.

Lori--I hope Jason's last molar pushes all the way through asap, but that the good naps continue! How funny about the garbage. I'll have to watch out for that. Hannah's now enamoured with flushing the toilet, so I'll have to keep close watch on keeping her from putting things in there!

We were on vacation last week visiting my family in NC. Hannah had so much fun bonding with her grandparents, aunt, and uncle and absolutely loved all the attention. She slept great (due to sheer exhaustion), handled the plane trip better than expected (although still squirmy), and was a real trooper overall. She experienced so many fun firsts--ice cream and oreos, swimming, the hammock, doggies up close, bubbles, etc. She responded to everything with her 3-syllable "Wow!" (uh-wow-uh) She doesn't get to see extended family very often, so I was thrilled that she really fell in love with my parents this trip. My Mom couldn't walk in the room without Hannah reaching for her, and Hannah was constantly engaging my Dad in silly games and would whisper his name "Pop Pop." Many mornings we could hear her practicing it over the monitor. So, so sweet. This weekend my SIL, BIL, and Hannah's 5 young cousins are visiting, so that should be tons of fun for her too.

It was nice to get back to our own routine this week. Hannah loved reacquanting herself with her room and toys, going from toy to toy and having a gobbledygook discussion with each one. I have a feeling she's going to be a VERY talkative little girl. Our main challenges right now are crankiness--probably from teething and withdrawal from attention overload--, clinginess to Mommy, and frustration over not being able to get every single thing she wants. She's constantly saying "Nay? Nay?" while signing for more, which translates to mean "I WANT NOW!" in Hannah speak. Vacation also made her a pickier eater and cultivated an extreme obsession with fruit. I shouldn't complain b/c she'll scarf down nectarines, peaches, blueberries, bananas, strawberries, grapes, plums, etc. w/ the skin, but veggies have fallen out of favor for the most part, meat is very hit or miss, and no pasta, rice, or potatoes. It's weird because she will eat pizza with us and pretty much everything at daycare. All that aside, she's so much fun right now and has an adorable personality.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

-Laura

[ellery]

Hi ladies. It sounds like everyone is doing so well. Those confusing newborn days seem so long ago, right?

Lori, those naps sound great. Danny does that a lot on weekends and it's bliss (not that I don't love hanging out with him, but the downtime is very nice too). How much milk is Jason doing these days? I always wonder what other moms' schedules are like with milk/meals. (and about ignoring birthdays from now on)

Laura, glad to hear that you all and Hannah survived the plane ride and trip with the family. How great that they got to see her charming self.

Checking in after our 15 month appointment. Danny is still hanging out in the 5th percentile for height, but hey, someone's got to be there. They did the standard blood work and we were told that Danny has high cholesterol and is a little iron deficient. Which the pediatrician attributed to family history of cholesterol (thanks DH) and Danny's love of milk. So she told me to switch him to 2% and then to skim milk and decrease his intake to between 12 and 16 ounces a day. And we were told absolutely no more sippy cup or pureed food, that he absolutely needs to eat more of a variety. So I've been working hard on those (Operation Sippy Cup commenced this past weekend) and he's officially 100% sippy cup all the time now (woo hoo!) and he's gradually trying some new things (he has decided that he loves peaches). It's expensive, this food thing, though. Buying new stuff and fixing it, only to have him turn up his nose. He was sobbing quite dramatically tonight at dinner because I had the nerve to smear some cream cheese on a graham cracker and offer it to him.

Has anyone started brushing teeth yet? Any recommendations?

[LHBryan]

Hi Leah. How weird about Danny's cholesterol, but great news on the sippy cup front! We're still struggling w/ that. Hannah will use a straw cup, but now knows how to shoot fluid from it like a water gun so I'd prefer she figure out the sippy cup once and for all.

Food variety is such a struggle. I'm definitely not proud of some of the foods we give Hannah (I always envisioned such a healthy diet for her), but we just try to give her small amounts of lots of stuff to gradually build up the list of things she'll routinely eat. I know you didn't really ask, but here's a list of things she'll usually eat. Maybe it'll give you some ideas about what to try next. Many of these took repeated offerings. Oh, and Hannah prefers most things cold, straight from the fridge. At daycare she eats everything. I'd love more ideas, so it would be great if other Moms would post their LOs' lists too.

"Meat": grilled or baked chicken, sometimes pork, deli turkey (in particular Oscar Meyer mesquite smoked) and ham, hotdogs (again--she ate a whole one over the weekend after eating her regular lunch!), Morningstar farms "chicken" nuggets, Boca breakfast links, pizza (LOVES), ate a few bites of haddock the other night, tried to chew on a babyback rib on July 4th!

Fruit: bananas, grapes, strawberries, blueberries, nectarines, peaches, plums, apples, pears, kiwi, avocado, natural applesauce (often mixed w/ baby oatmeal), natural peach medley applesauce, mandarin oranges, pineapple

Veggies: sometimes squash; canned diced carrots; canned, no-salt-added green beans (I hate canned, but she won't eat fresh or frozen); frozen peas, rinsed to defrost; a few bites of broccoli; sweet potatoes (mashed but not roasted); regular potatoes (although hates mashed or roasted) in the form of french fries and tater tots at daycare.

Dairy: yogurt, cheese (favorite is mozzarella, but will eat almost any type; not fond of melted cheese except mac and cheese at daycare), milk, ice cream

Other: baby oatmeal cereal, puffs, baby goldfish, possibly cheese tortellini (but no other pasta), crackers, bread, a few bites of waffle, cheerios (but doesn't love them), lowfat refried beans on tortilla once, etc. Still no rice.

I'm going to try veggie burger bites next. I haven't gotten my nerve up to try peanut butter. Has anyone else? Hannah isn't into "combo" foods yet, but I keep trying. I call the little plate of chopped up foods Hannah's dim sum." Whatever she doesn't eat, I'll typically finish as my appetizer so not too much is wasted. Oh, and pass the bad mommy award my way--I pick up and feed her the food she drops on the floor! She's been eating like a maniac lately. On Monday night w/ all our relatives in town, she actually ate so much she threw up. It's hard to know when to cut her off! My BIL said it's the first time she's had any competition (w/ 5 other kids in the house), so she was just trying to stuff herself silly.

I've been meaning to ask our dr. about teeth brushing. My toothless wonder still has only the two little nubbins on the bottom (where are those darn teeth?!?), so I haven't worried about it too much. You could probably go ahead and start wiping Danny's teeth with gauze to get him used to the idea. Hopefully someone who's LO has more teeth will chime in.

Does anyone's LO have dry skin/eczema patches? Hannah has some red, rough patches on her ankles, wrists, and inner elbows and knees. I keep putting lotion/vaseline/aquaphor/cortizone cream on them, but can't seem to make them go away. This morning they were really bothering her. Any suggestions?

[ellery]

Hi Laura. (waving)

Thanks for the food list. So far I'm discovering that the key to get him to try new things is to mix them with something else, and since he still eats yogurt every night for dinner, it's a question of what mixes well with yogurt. It's a whole ordeal. First I bury the item in the yogurt, he swallows, chews with a look of concern on his face, then if he doesn't spit it out we move on to phase 2. Which is put item on spoon with a little yogurt. Then just item on spoon. If it's not on a spoon, it's a no go. We successfully did raspberries tonight, and I think he did some sweet potatos, a little mac & cheese and some potatos this week at daycare. I have actually no idea what or how much he eats at daycare - they write it down, but when I say "did he really eat it?" they say "little bit" which could mean anything.

I've searched this BB and the internet in general looking for other ideas for toddler foods. Hannah's list is actually quite impressive. The only things I didn't see on there were stuff like raisin bread, yogurt covered raisins or pretzels, dips like hummus and smoothies.

That's actually an amusing image to picture Hannah taking aim and shooting from her straw cup. We just did the sippee cup cold turkey. I offered his morning milk in a sippee cup - got a look, he took a sip and didn't want anymore. Drank slightly more the next time it was offered. And by the third time it was offered, he had accepted the new regime and has been 100% sippee cup since. Way more painless than I'd anticipated. Whew!

I'm not sure what to say about the dry patches. I've always just used soap in the bath every other day, so that his skin doesn't get too dry. I read that somewhere when he was a baby and have never switched to soaping him up nightly.

Curious to see what the others say about brushing teeth...

[Bawstinn]

delurking as another mom of a toothless one ...

Madeleine was almost 9 months old when the first one finally popped through. I tried wiping down with guaze but she wasn't all that thrilled to open her mouth and, um, she would bite me. When she was maybe 15 months or so I got her a toddler's toothbrush (Elmo!) to use and just tried to brush her teeth with water. We've probably been using a dab of toddler toothpaste for the last 6 months or so (she is 2) and she basically does the brushing herself and then lets me go over them quick after.

Besides regular Cheerios, Kix were a hit in our house. I have a container of mixed cereal that I threw together that she usually eats on the commute to daycare. Kix, Apple Cheerios, regular Cheerios, cinnamon Life, Multi-grain Cheerios, Golden Grahams and Fruity Cheerios are in there now. Um, I know this because I am fiinding it is a pretty tasty mix for breakfast in the morning.

[Kerri]

Does anyone's LO have dry skin/eczema patches? Hannah has some red, rough patches on her ankles, wrists, and inner elbows and knees. I keep putting lotion/vaseline/aquaphor/cortizone cream on them, but can't seem to make them go away. This morning they were really bothering her. Any suggestions?

My DS has eczema and we had just been doing lotion and cortizone ointment, but it had definately gotten worse in the last couple of months. I ended up talking to his doctor about it and he ended up writing a prescription for a higher concentration of hydrocortizone and using that and aquaphor. That worked for awhile...but it is so hard to hit the patches on a wiggly toddler! I am at a loss of what else to do.

[LA98]

Laura, I've heard that eczema is really brutal in the summer heat. Definitely ask your doctor about it so you can get a prescription like Kerri mentioned. Poor little ones. Jason's got some dry skin and a bit of prickly heat on his back.

Leah, fantastic news about the sippy cup and Danny trying new foods! Great job, both of you! And wow on the cholesterol news. My dr doesn't even do bloodwork at this age, so it's good that they caught it now.

Brushing teeth: Okay, here's where the mimicking and the older-sibling-worship thing are coming in handy because it was so NOT this easy last time. Jason's been watching Brian brush his teeth, and maybe a month or so ago he started trying to rip the brush out of his hands. So I gave him his and he *loved* it. So now every morning and night I call them to the bathroom to brush, and Jason just comes running to do it. I let him chew on it for a while and then I try to brush what I can (or what he'll let me). He's got 12 teeth now.

At his 15-month appointment, the dr said he should be having about 20 ounces a day. So now I'm giving him a cup of milk (8 oz, I think) at every meal. He drinks most of the cup, then still has a 7 oz bottle before bed, so I think we're there. His checkup was good, 90% percentile for height, 50th for weight, exactly the same as Brian at this age. He only gained a pound, which I couldn't believe considering how much he eats but of course he's burning off calories like mad.

I think he's eating a fairly good variety of food, although he's a little pickier than he was just a few months ago. He eats pretty much whatever we're having, he'll even demand the food I'm trying to eat myself! And I think I mentioned a lot of foods are only acceptable to him when he has his own fork and can try to spear or scoop them.

Meat: Chicken, beef hot dogs, hamburger only sometimes but will eat ground beef in mixed foods like a casserole.

Fruit: Bananas, grapes, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, nectarines, apples, unsweetened flavored applesauce, a little OJ mixed with water sometimes. This list is much shorter than it used to be!!!

Vegetables: raw baby carrots diced *really tiny!*; peas, broccoli (his favorite), potatoes boiled, roasted, or french fries (ack, I can't believe I've given him fries!), corn on the cob (with me or DH watching him like a hawk). My personal favorite of his: kosher dill pickles -- hey, it's a cucumber, right?! He also loves a spinach sauce (cooked spinach pureed with some cottage cheese, parmesan cheese, and milk) I make for pasta. He will not touch any kind of squash in any form.

Dairy: yogurt, cottage cheese, diced cheese (cheddar/mozzarella/colby jack), scrambled eggs, milk

Other: baby oatmeal with fruit, Goldfish, crackers, ww toast with jam or cream cheese, ww bagel with cream cheese, pancakes (favorite!), Cheerios/Kix/Life, rice (first time last night after many attempts), Nilla Wafers, cinnamon graham crackers, pasta with tomato sauce, cheese tortellini, organic mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwich.

Had to laugh today when I heard a very distinct "I want that!" in the middle of a tantrum...

[LHBryan]

Thanks so much for the food, eczema, sippy cup, and toothbrushing suggestions!

I do need to try hummous. I make my own quite often but now can't remember if I gave her any to try last time. I'm making banana bread tonight and hope she'll give it a try. She was pretty wild about carrot cake on her birthday, so I'm sure muffins/quick breads/raisin bread will be a big hit. I wish she'd eat eggs, but they're a definite NO. Lori, your spinach sauce sounds tasty. I'll have to give that a try once we've overcome the pasta hurdle. I know I'd like it! Once our stash of puffs is gone, I need to replace those w/ more cereal varieties. Madeleine's mix sounds yummy!

Leah--how funny about the spoon. Hannah has to be able to hold and fully inspect something (look, squish and/or pull it apart) any food before she'll try it. If I sneak something unknown or unexpected in her mouth, she'll spit it back out for inspection and then pop it back in if it meets muster. Each kid has their own unique process, I suppose! I too get frustrated at daycare for not being specific. Me: "She really ate mac and cheese?" DC: "I think so."

Hannah's dry patches are better today. Lori, the heat is indeed brutal. She was perfectly fine in our harsh winter, but summer is a different story. Hydrocortizone cream and Desitin ointment (like Aquaphor) seem to be helping keep things under control. Thanks for delurking, Kerri! Yesterday morning she was so cranky, then was completely quiet and still while I put cream on her patches. When I was finished she held up the cream and said "Nay, Nay?" and signed for more. I felt so bad for her. I still wonder if there's some food sensitivity that exacerbates the problem. Perhaps strawberries? Yesterday she also had tiny pink dots all over her torso. Leah, I probably need to go back to the every-other-day soap routine. I started using it almost daily when she became more "interactive"--and sticky!--with her food.

Lori--hysterical about "I want that." At least he's communicating!

I forgot to mention we're finally going through the intense Mommy clinginess/separation anxiety phase. Wow, I felt terrible as she sobbed frantically when I left her at daycare on Wednesday. That's so tough. Now for a Friday funny. Last week Hannah and DH were playing in her room. Hannah tooted rather loudly, then got a sly grin on her face, pointed to DH and said "DA DA!" Also, if she hears him ****, she'll grin and make a similar sound with her mouth. What a character! This is what happens with a stay-at-home Dad!

[Bawstinn]

I'm making banana bread tonight and hope she'll give it a try. She was pretty wild about carrot cake on her birthday, so I'm sure muffins/quick breads/raisin bread will be a big hit. I wish she'd eat eggs, but they're a definite NO. Lori, your spinach sauce sounds tasty. I'll have to give that a try once we've overcome the pasta hurdle. I know I'd like it! Once our stash of puffs is gone, I need to replace those w/ more cereal varieties. Madeleine's mix sounds yummy!

It's funny, but I started mixing them in the first place because she could never decide which she wanted and *I* never picked out the right one in the morning . I just started pouring them in the container and then told her she could just eat the ones she wanted - and she does. Golden Grahams must be her favorites since she picks those all out first.

[ellery]

Maria, I took notes on your cereal mix and loaded up in the cereal aisle yesterday. I'm happy to say that the mix was a hit! Maybe, just maybe, Danny is starting to recognize that different can sometimes equal good. And he's a big Golden Grahams fan now too.

Laura - so cute about the Hannah tooting story. Danny thinks it's the funniest thing on earth to toot. He does it, then gets a big smile on his face, waiting for applause. Have you seen the book "First Meals"? I bought it a while back and just picked it up again this weekend to re-read. There are lots of good food ideas in there, divided by the ages and developmental stages, as well as information on what nutrients, etc. are provided by the meal. Hopefully I'll be able to use lots of them one day.

[LHBryan]

Leah--Thanks for the book recommendation! Our library has a copy (as well as several other books by the same author), so I'll have to check it out. I really need to expand Hannah's "main dish" and veggie repetoire. I got her to eat two miniscule bits of broccoli--using cheese as a chaser--but she wasn't keen on it. I'm afraid I'm cultivating an obsession w/ "chicken" nuggets w/ those Morningstar Farms nuggets that she now loves. She ate a few bites of my veggie burger last night and seemed to like it, except for the bite covered in melted cheese. Why does she spit out melted cheese when cheese is one of her all-time favorites?!? Also, she absolutely loves banana bread, as well as oatmeal cookies and rice krispies treats. I'm glad Hannah's not the only one who thinks tooting is funny!

I think more teeth are finally on the way in. Hannah has been terribly cranky and whiny and her top gum is red and swollen. I wish they'd push through already!

[SooCookie]

delurking...
Laura, my DD was almost 14 months () when her 1st tooth decided it was ready to come through. I used those finger toothbrushes until she got more teeth just to get her used to the feeling. Prior to those 1st teeth coming in, I did nothing!

Michelle

[LHBryan]

Thanks, SooCookie! I should get one of those finger toothbrushes to start getting her used to the idea. Hannah gets so mad if I try to put my finger in her mouth to inspect her teeth/gums!

OK Moms, I need advice. How on earth do/did you handle SEPARATION ANXIETY?!? Hannah is so Mommy clingy right now. At home she cries whenever I leave the room, even if she can still see me. This morning she not only wailed at daycare, but grabbed my legs frantically and then crawled at lightning speed to chase after me as I left the room. She didn't want to be held by her teachers (even if I sat next to her), didn't want me to play with her on the floor, nothing. All she wanted to do was hold on and hug me tight. I'll admit that it's very sweet and I love the affection, but I hate to see her so upset. I'm sure she stopped crying and settled down soon after I was out of sight, but it's so HARD to leave her that way. I thought my people-loving child would be the only one to never go through separation anxiety, but it's been building up ever since we returned from vacation. She only goes to daycare 1 or 2 days/week (DH takes care of her the other days), so that also makes it hard since she's probably not super familiar with her 2 somewhat new teachers (although she has "reached" for both of them before while I was holding her). Last night I had to work late, so I wasn't home for her dinner but did get home in time to give her a bath and put her to bed. She's been STTN for the most part, but last night she had several bad crying spells prior to 10pm. I assumed it was due to teething, so first tried ibuprofen. The crying continued. I then realized she'd stop screaming as soon as she saw me. I picked her up to comfort her at one point, and she hugged me so hard. She finally settled down after several "visits." DH said she was sad b/c our usual evening-time together was cut short.

How long does this phase typically last? Any suggestions for comforting and helping her, including any daycare drop-off techniques? TIA!

[ellery]

Hi Laura. (waving)

I'm so sorry Hannah is going through the separation anxiety phase. It is heartbreaking to leave them somewhere when they're literally hanging on to your leg and sobbing hysterically. Danny has gone through this at least twice so far - once around 8 or 9 months old, other times when he's sick or teething (usually meaning that he prefers me to DH), and about a month ago. His daycare moms and I just worked together on this. I always hang out for 5-10 minutes when we arrive at daycare in the morning, chatting with the daycare moms, looking at toys with Danny, or helping him to get settled and started on breakfast. (My goal is to reassure him that I like his moms, we're friends, it's okay, etc.) Then I kiss him and leave. His daycare mom would either distract him with his favorite toy, food, or pick him up and hold him. The longer I stayed in the room at this point, the worse it got. He'd stop pretty much a minute or two after I'd left his eyesight.

How long does Hannah cry after you leave? Does she need a transitional object to keep her company during the day? (Danny carefully selects which plastic golf club he's going to bring to school each morning)

Hopefully it's just a teething thing and will pass soon. Danny's phases usually only lasted a week or two and now he barely blinks when I leave him in the morning.

It'll be interesting to see what feedback everyone else has.

As for the tooth brush, we've now introduced it (I got a little tooth brush kit at Target - had all the toothbrushes from infant to toddler) and it's part of our nighttime routine. Basically Danny just chews on it for a minute or so and we're done. I'm guessing this is better than nothing, gets him familiar, etc.

And I'm just putting one more plug in for that book I'd mentioned. I made Danny a smoothie tonight from the book, and once he came out from hiding behind the couch (the blender sound freaked him out) he gave the recipe two thumbs up. I also made him a carrot recipe the other day and he liked it as well. Yay for new foods and recipes.

[ellery]

I just thought I'd bump us back up as we've fallen off the page. I'm guessing everyone is just totally swamped. We've finally got working internet at work again, so I'm lurking a lot these days (as opposed to um, working). I was probably a much better employee before I had this evil computer on my desk constantly tempting me...

Has anyone heard from Gouri? Gouri? You out there???

Nothing going on here. I seem to have lost my cute amenable toddler and have this strange child in his place. One who makes weird noises, shrieks at odd times, has changeable moods and seems determined to make me lose my cool. I was in his daycare room a little later than usual this morning, so I saw some kids who tend to arrive after us. There was one in particular entertaining himself with shrieking, so that may be one mystery solved, but still... oy....

[LHBryan]

Hi Leah (waving back!). I'm here and have been meaning to post. Thanks for bumping us back up. I know exactly what you mean about internet access at work. These boards are such a temptation! I love to lurk but tend to get lazy about posting.

I'm glad to hear Danny likes the new recipes. I really need to get that book. Hopefully your little guy's sweet temperament will return soon. He's probably just experimenting w/ noise and enjoying pushing Mommy's buttons. This too shall pass. It's funny (or not so funny!) how they go through weird phases. Hannah's whininess drove us crazy last week, but this week she's fun and pretty mellow. Oh, and if you think Danny's acting strange, wait 'til you hear some things Hannah does. When she's bored and stuck in her high chair, she slouches down in her seat and grinds into the part that goes between her legs. She gets a very stern look of concentration on her face and bicycles her legs. She doesn't really like to be bothered when this is going on. Hmmmm. Also, she is a very happy, fun child, but a hot temper lurks underneath. If she gets frustrated while playing, she'll throw herself down on the floor and "bite" at the air or the floor. This morning she has a scratch on her chin that DH thinks happened yesterday when she got mad (for no apparent reason) and bit at the carpet several times. I really should get around to asking her dr. about this!

Thanks so much for your advice about separation anxiety. I did as you suggested for daycare, and the drop-offs are going much better. This morning she was completely distracted by pancakes and orange slices. (She had already eaten at home, but that didn't stop her!) I also realized she does a lot better if I talk to her a lot in the morning while we're getting ready to go, letting her know the itinerary for the day. We seem to have gotten through the worst of this phase, and now her two top front teeth are poking through, so I suppose the crankiness and extreme clinginess were primarily due to teething. It was a rough time. And she has so many teeth still to come...Ugh. I hate that it makes her feel so crummy.

Otherwise, we're great. Hannah walked halfway across the room yesterday when I got home from work. She didn't try walking most of the day until I came home. She must have wanted Mommy to see her. She's really into stroller rides and food these days and is growing up entirely too fast.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

[ellery]

Hi Laura. (waving back)

So glad to hear Hannah's doing better at daycare. Yay Hannah (and mom)! And how funny about her high chair antics. I can't imagine what she's doing when she's "grinding." And yay for her walking - go Hannah go!

I'd meant to ask this before and forgot. Does anyone use blackout curtains in their kid's room? Any recommendations if you do? At this point in time we have a temporary cover on the shades (garbage bags ) but it would nice to have something a little less *trashy*.

[LA98]

Hi Leah and Laura

I think I tend not to post when things are not going so well because I don't want to be a big complainer. Jason's going through some kind of weird stage right now. He's back to waking up once or even twice at night (SIGH ) and I don't know why. Are sleep setbacks normal?? He's fighting naps and bedtime now too, and he's waking up to start the day as early as 4 am and usually at 5 am, which is horrible. And during the day he's still the king of tantrums. The most disturbing part of his tantrums now is that he'll bang his head against whatever's closest. I looked in my books and found info on head-banging as a comforting thing, but nothing about it being done in anger. The other day he was having a tantrum on my hardwood kitchen floor and thunked his forehead down hard on the floor. He looked a little surprised (it HAD to hurt!) and then he *very gently* laid his head down again on the floor and kept right on with his screaming tantrum.

Laura, yay for Hannah walking!! And though it's not funny, I had to laugh a little bit about her biting at the carpet: Brian as a toddler once took a bite out of his crib. Seriously. It's made of pine and he was having a gigantic tantrum and he bit it and got a piece off. I'm so glad your dropoff went better! I didn't chime in with any advice because Brian didn't stop the daily dropoff drama until he was close to 3 years old if you can believe that. I did the same routine as Leah mentioned, then I'd torture myself by watching him cry on the closed circuit TV in the center's office. I just always had a hard time leaving for work knowing he was hysterical. He usually calmed down not too long after I left...

Leah, they're not really blackout curtains, but I have a pair of medium-weight curtains in a blue-gray color from Country Curtains in the boys' room, and when they're closed the room is very dark. I know they also carry lined curtains too (I think they call them insulated). And yay to Danny and your smoothies! Loved the golf club story too.

[ellery]

Lori, I'm so sorry you've been having a hard time. Please vent to us - I feel like I'm always complaining about something, but figured who would better understand and be supportive than our group.

From what I understand, head banging can be a normal part of tantrums, and is definitely related to anger/frustration. (I'm a children's therapist in my real life) Is Jason getting ready to hit some developmental milestone, I wonder? Life as a toddler has got to be very frustrating a lot of the time, and it sounds like he's definitely letting you know how he feels. What usually triggers the tantrums?

Poor you. Many hugs. ((()))

[LHBryan]

(((Lori))) I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Yes, please vent here! We completely understand. It's really helpful to read about the ups and downs b/c then when something similar crops up in our home, I don't panic and I can assure DH it's within the realm of "normal" toddler behavior! I feel like I'm always complaining and painting a terrible picture of Hannah, my adorable little girl who just happens to whine, grind, bite the carpet, and so many other wonderful traits.

These weird stages can be so unpleasant. And the tantrums and whining/screaming are enough to make a Mom want to pull her hair out. DH threatens to go get fixed when Hannah's going through one of her spells. Hannah is at her worst when overtired and/or teething. Any chance Jason is teething again? If Hannah is teething, the only thing that works is ibuprofen. (Oh, and why can't they make bigger bottles of that stuff?!)

Aside from those two reasons, Hannah generally throws tantrums when 1) What we're doing doesn't meet her expectations (e.g. "I thought we were going for a walk, but now Mom is in the bathroom... WAAHHHH!") or 2) She can't have something/go somewhere she REALLY wants. Tantrums are somewhat diminished when I narrate our gameplan ("Mommy is going potty, then we'll be ready for our walk," but this strategy doesn't work for "Mommy is getting your food ready, then you can eat."). I also have to set lots of "rules" and remain consistent--e.g. "bathtime is finished, so please give Mommy your washcloth." At first she'd pitch a fit (it started w/ major tantrums in her bedroom while I tried to pry the wet washcloth from her hands 10 minutes after her bath), but I kept at it and now when I say bathtime is finished, she hands me her washcloth, as well as each bath toy, then reaches for me to pick her up. Secondly, at home we spend almost all of our time with Hannah on the 2nd floor--her bedroom and the long "bridge"/hall outside her bedroom that overlooks the 1st floor. She has the run of that space, most of her toys are up there, and almost nothing is off limits. I would love to let her play elsewhere in the house, but it's just too hard telling her "NO!" all the time, chasing after her, and then suffering through the resulting tantrums. (This is why the rest of our house still isn't childproofed!) We use her pack n' play or high chair when she's downstairs, or watch her like a hawk.

ITA with Leah, life as a toddler must be very frustrating, and headbanging is disturbing but normal. Glad to hear H isn't the only kid who bites at things when mad. Yikes about Brian and his crib! Hannah also bangs her head periodically, then looks at us in anguish b/c it hurts, especially on the slate floor downstairs. I just calmly say, "Yes, I'm sure it hurts when you hit your head. Please don't do that." If Jason just keeps at it, I'm not sure what to advise! Yesterday we had our first "boo boo report" at daycare. Hannah had a red scuff on her forehead from "crawling really fast to the carpeted step/slide tower and rubbing her forehead on it hard, resulting in rug burn." Gee, I can picture that one. Must have been a very frustrating moment in the Honey Bees Room!

As for sleep, setbacks are certainly normal in our house, but then you may recall we haven't been model sleepers. I would just stick with your usual routine and hopefully this phase will pass soon. H sleeps better if she's had some fresh air, so we've been doing very simple suppers and going for a quick walk before bed.

Oh, and thank God we don't have a closed-circuit TV system at daycare. I like the idea of it, but I'm so obsessive I'd never get to work!

[PoppyJ]

Lori, Jason sounds exactly like Avery. She does the head-banging thing mid-tantrum. She will do it against whatever is near. If there are no cabinets or walls, then she wil sit on the floor and bang her head against our tile. And that only seems to make her madder. She is also regressing in the slep department too. She is waking up 2-3 times a night now. Last night she cried for over 2 hours. We thought she was teething, but this has been going on for weeks. We keep giving her motrin just in case but I feel guilty about giving her medicine that she might not need.

The other thing that is driving me nuts is the short nap she is taking. Now that she has switched to one nap, she is only napping 45 minutes. Grrrr! Not enough break time for me.

Leah, we are using one step up from garbage bags. We hung an old dark sheet over our windows. We looked into black out curtains, but we have french doors that are a strange size and it was way too much money.

[LA98]

Ah, thanks, ladies. There really is comfort in knowing I'm not alone -- not that I'm happy your little ones drive you crazy too!

Jason's tantrums are like Laura described Hannah's, which is to say, totally typical for this age. He wants something he can't have and doesn't like the substitute I'm offering, or I'm not fast enough in getting him something he wants. And also the "sorry we can't play outside but it's pouring rain" type of tantrum as well as the "pointing at thin air and screaming at me because I can't figure out what he wants" tantrum. Thinking back, I really shouldn't be so stressed out, Brian's tantrums were so much worse at this age. They were epic! Many times well over an hour long. And some of this I think is due to Jason's sleep/wake/nap schedule being very messed up right now. I think I'm just way tired -- I work after the boys go to sleep, so I've been getting to bed around midnight and Jason's been waking up at 4:45 am. And sometimes, like this morning, Brian wakes up too and then the two-kid shenanigans have really begun and it's not even 6 am yet. Also, I realized the other day that I've been with the kids nonstop with no break at all for many months now. No babysitter, no family to give me a little break, DH helps when he gets home but then it's time to make dinner, then bathtime, then bedtime, then work! But I may be looking for full-time work soon, so everything may change. Who knows.

Laura, that boo-boo report reminds me of some of the reports I got from Brian's center that were actually so funny I made a copy for myself. There was one about him crawling while looking at a book and rolling a car on the floor and then face-planting into a plastic palm tree that was a keeper. That cc TV was good sometimes too: I worked right around the corner from the center so sometimes I'd pop in around lunchtime and watch for a few minutes and see him having fun.

Poppy, sorry to hear about Avery crying for 2 hours. Ugh. Jason did it one night last week for an hour and a half. He just kept pointing to the door of his bedroom and wanted out, to go play I suppose. It must really be frustrating as Leah said when they want things they can't get.

Leah, you might be right about something developmental happening. Maybe not physical, but the ped reminded me once that the brain is developing all the time, neurons making new connections, etc, so maybe that's it. And while all four of those darned molars are in, there should be other teeth that are close to coming in too.

[ellery]

Geez, Laura, I don't have any idea how you're doing all of that all on your own (essentially) with sleep deprivation on top of everything. I'm thinking you're entitled to a tantrum of your own!

Are there any parenting philosophies that you have found to be helpful? I'm a big fan of the Love & Logic stuff (I think someone on one of the other mommy threads was talking about it recently too) - you know, the giving choices stuff. I have this hope that because Danny feels in control of his world a lot of time (because he gets choices about all kinds of stuff) that he argues less when he doesn't get a choice (like diaper changes, time to go, etc.). Mind you, he still argues, and we have a lot of wrestling matches (he's got some good moves, and I'm in trouble once he grows and becomes even more agile), but they usually don't last too long. Of course, it could all be crap. You can't really take credit for a kid's temperament, you know? I could just be lucky. Because your kids are strong-willed and determined, they'll probably grow up to invent something or be President. My kid is laid back and will grow up to have Matthew McCaughaney's (sp?) surfer-dude personality and mentality (work? why work? there's surfing to be done!)

I'm a big fan of Motrin. Danny will have no kidney function left by age 3, but it seems to help him sleep. He usually sleeps very well, but goes through these stages where he wakes up and sure enough, I pop some Motrin in him and snuggle him and call it a night. He no longer allows me access to his mouth to see what's going on teething-wise, but I figure it's always a safe bet that something is popping through or about to pop through, at this stage.

Are there any fun activity places you can take the boys during the day to wear them out and bring on the naps they don't want to take?

I've gotta say... we want to have another one, but I'm a little freaked out at how one person manages two. I don't like being outnumbered!

I'm so sorry it's rough on you these days. Please vent to us!

(((Laura)))

[PoppyJ]

Two quick questions:

1) How long can you leave milk out? I am finally on my last can of formula (got a bulk delivery right before her 1st birthday because the company was worried about insurance approval after she turned one) and was wondering how long she can sip on a sippy cup of milk before I need to throw it away. Also can I serve her milk she already drank from if I put it right back in the refrig? With my formula, I cannot do that.

2) Do they sell Motrin in bulk???