etiquette question

[JulieM]

If new acquaintenances invite you over for drinks this weekend at a specified date and time, what do you think is the proper etiquette in terms of what you should bring and how long you should stay? Since they specifically said "come for a drink" at 6:30 (which is near dinner time) do you just stay an hour and politely leave? Of course if you were invited to dinner you might bring a bottle of wine or something, but what if it's just drinks?

[dneilson]

Hi Julie...

Wow, specifically mentioning drinks at 6:30 pm sans mention of dinner (at dinner hour)?


I would be on the CL boards asking for ideas too.

Wonder if asking her when she's planning on dinner so your visit doesn't conflict with dinner plans (hers and yours)? If they've had dinner by then, you can visit longer? If not, you'll limit visit to an hour?

I'm not good at these etiquette dilemmas.
I know alot of folks serve appetizers with drinks so perhaps there is a food plan but not a sit-down dinner?

Maybe I'd pump her for information. Wish I could be of more help.
Dolores

[sugaree]

We eat dinner late (9-ish) especially in the summer, so the time doesn't sound that strange to me. I would think if dinner were involved, it would have been mentioned. As for something to bring, do you have any fresh flowers in your garden? Or you could get a small bouquet from your market.

[JulieM]

Thanks Dolores, at last now I don't feel it's just me being weird.

I don't mind the 6:30 time, because we eat dinner late a lot and we'll eat a snack before we go. I guess we won't take anything and after an hour or so we'll politely say something about heading home so they can have their dinner and see where it goes from there. They may invite us to stay or suggest we all go out for a bite.

[JulieM]

We eat dinner late (9-ish) especially in the summer, so the time doesn't sound that strange to me. I would think if dinner were involved, it would have been mentioned. As for something to bring, do you have any fresh flowers in your garden? Or you could get a small bouquet from your market.

I guess we were posting at the same time.. I don't have a garden but picking up some flowers sounds like a nice idea!

[Terri_A]

I'd probably still bring a bottle of wine or some sort of booze as a thank you for the invitation.

As for how long to stay...maybe they're waiting to see how it goes and then will suggest dinner out? or for you to stay for dinner? Sort of like a first date for coffee....if we click we'll make it lunch, sort of thing.

I'd watch for cues during cocktail hour - they may be 9pm dinner people - and go from there.

Let us know what happens....I'm curious about this one myself.

[sneezles]

I'd probably still bring a bottle of wine or some sort of booze as a thank you for the invitation.

As for how long to stay...maybe they're waiting to see how it goes and then will suggest dinner out? or for you to stay for dinner? Sort of like a first date for coffee....if we click we'll make it lunch, sort of thing.

I'd watch for cues during cocktail hour - they may be 9pm dinner people - and go from there.

Let us know what happens....I'm curious about this one myself.

Exactly what I was thinking.

[Middydd]

Maybe they eat early and will already have had dinner by 6:30?

We have neighbours who seem to eat dinner everyday about 5:00pm.

[newtricks]

I think when people invite you for drinks and there's no dinner plan mentioned that's what they mean - drinks, no dinner. They want you to come for a good time, not a long time. I would bring something and I would leave after an hour. Or at least start making noises about leaving after an hour. It's a nice easy way to get to know someone but I wouldn't look at it like an audition - too much pressure!

Is this really weird? I don't really think of 6:30 as "dinner hour" when I have guests over or go to someone's house for dinner. That's cocktail hour and dinner usually happens kind of late in those situations (at least an hour and usually more after we arrive).

This event probably happened already - how did it go??

[JulieM]

When we got there they had put out a lot of food for just drinks: corn chips and a spicy cheese dip, pita chips and hummus, deviled eggs (made to look like little chickens with carefully cut carrot for the orange thing on top and cloves for eyes--really cute), mixed nuts, black olives, block of cheese, and shrimp dip. Plus sangria. They are an older couple so for them, this was dinner.

We stayed until about 9 and departed with promises to have them to our boat soon (they live on a boat too).

I liked the casual and informal nature of the get together, rather than a sit down meal. I think I will do something similar when we have them over, except add some sort of meat to my menu.

Thanks all for your replies. I think she should have said something like, "come for drinks and there will be plenty to eat," but no big deal. I took some spicy nuts and a bottle of wine. I would have taken flowers instead of the wine but I didn't have time to pick them up.