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Thread: People have asked...so I will answer.

  1. #1
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    People have asked...so I will answer.

    Quote Originally Posted by Peweh View Post
    So Escher I'm curious enough to ask because you've had a sudden resurgence on the boards... are you asking because you yourself are recently divorced or somehow single? I seem to remember part of the reason you stepped away was you had young boys and you or your wife were concerned about privacy issues. You can tell me to stuff it if I'm wrong or hit a nerve but since you don't seem to shy away from provocative questions thought I'd just voice what many inquiring minds probably want to know.
    Resurgence?! I'm flattered. Just a few posts.

    Yes, privacy issues are important, but I didn't step away because of that... my life simply got too busy for a bit and I didn't have time to visit this forum. (It's not my main forum)
    Actually, I mainly "hang out" on sports sites. Quite a different atmosphere....

    I might as well tell all...you aren't the first to ask. I'm less concerned about privacy than worried that someone I've offended will use this information to hit me where it hurts, as it were. But I suppose I'll just have to saddle up, and take my lumps.

    I lost my job and was unemployed for about 7 weeks. Then yes, sadly, I was divorced. It was not my choice. I did not win custody, and my children no longer live with me. Which meant I had to move. I also/therefore? joined the Army, so I had to attend both basic training and Officer's Candidate School. And, to make ends meet, for awhile I discontinued my cable/internet.

    That was a lot to process, as you may imagine. So fun things like visiting forums took a hiatus.

    And yes, I probably revisited the 10% idea because my ex is seeing someone now, and it hurts.

    There you have it.
    Last edited by Escher; 04-25-2012 at 03:14 PM.
    More calm, cool, scathing logic that drives women crazy...

  2. #2
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    That's a lot of changes to process all at once. I'm sorry for your loss, and so, so sorry that you are no longer with your kids. I hope you're able to see them regularly. I remember them being a very important part of your life.

    Thanks for breaking out of the persona to share a little of yourself. Perhaps it will help others understand where you're coming from.
    I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. ~E.B. White

  3. #3
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    Thhhbbbt!


    I like my "persona" as you put it. Escher is playful, intelligent, irreverent and not afraid to challenge the status quo.

    I'm soft, mushy, forgettable, responsible and utterly boring, and what fun is that? Who wants to deal with that?

    I am going to go.
    More calm, cool, scathing logic that drives women crazy...

  4. #4
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    Thanks Escher for sharing with us. Sharing is a huge part of why we are all here and you have been part of this "family" for a long time. You have been through a lot of difficult and stressful change and I hope you are able to work through it all very soon.

    Maybe you need another "name" for this persona, so that Escher can still come and play while the other can lean on us when needed.

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    I am so sorry you lost your family and a job...very tough separately and even more stressful bundled together.
    Thoreau said, 'A man is rich in proportion to the things he can leave alone.'

  6. #6
    Escher I am sorry to hear this news. You have certainly had a lot to process and deal with. I do hope that your ex is giving you fair access to your children because like Robyncz I do remember their importance in your life. I honestly never thought you were talking about yourself in the other post. I thought perhaps a friend of yours was going through this experience.
    All That's Left Are The Crumbs

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    See, here's the downside of coming to a largely female forum - we get all supportive and sentimental and stuff. Really sucks sometimes....

    Sorry to hear you've been through so many hard changes, Escher. I hope you're able to see your sons frequently - kiddos need both parents, even if they're not together.
    The motive power of democracy is love. ~ Henri Bergson

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    Take care. That's a lot to deal with.

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    Escher, I also am sorry for the losses in your life, but let me also thank you for your service to our country! Take care, Laura

    Visit my blog about cooking and a new season of life at http://reconnecting-with-my-kitchen.blogspot.com/

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  10. #10
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    So sorry, Escher. I go with a year.
    And as the others have said, nothing is
    more important than time spent with
    your children.
    You may have had a lot of unfair things happen, but when you look back over your life, remember something good that has happened for you. Replay the good memories. Joel Osteen

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by JulieM View Post

    Maybe you need another "name" for this persona, so that Escher can still come and play while the other can lean on us when needed.
    Great idea!

    Wow, you have been through a lot! Hope you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now.

  12. #12
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    Hi, Escher --

    It's been good to hear from you again. So sorry you have gone through a rough patch on steroids! Looking forward to your posts.

    Kay

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    I'm sorry to hear about the losses. If it helps you to come here and play with the Escher persona, then do it! I think we all can handle it.
    “It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society”.----Krishnamurti

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraB View Post
    See, here's the downside of coming to a largely female forum - we get all supportive and sentimental and stuff. Really sucks sometimes....

    Sorry to hear you've been through so many hard changes, Escher. I hope you're able to see your sons frequently - kiddos need both parents, even if they're not together.
    Very well said!

    I'm sorry to hear this part of your life update Escher but glad to see you seem to be finding your way.


    "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself" ~ George Bernard Shaw


  15. #15
    I'm another that is saddened to hear of the problems you've been through. I hope you enjoy your new adventure in the Army!
    "This better be important! Is the frickin' meadow on fire?" -- Charlie the Unicorn

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    Sorry to hear of all you've been/are going through. Sometimes, life just sucks, but you're pulling yourself out of the doldrums -- good for you!
    Kay
    I'm a WYSIWYG person -- no subterfuge here!

  17. #17
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    Escher, maternaty leave is more important to you than thanking all these nice people that believe what you posted here?

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    Quote Originally Posted by cookieee View Post
    Escher, maternaty leave is more important to you than thanking all these nice people that believe what you posted here?
    cookieee, I would certainly hope that everyone who has offered escher good thoughts did it because it was nice to do so, not to get a thank you. escher has already indicated discomfort with the squishy personal stuff, and I think an, "Aw, shucks, you guys are the bestest ever!" might sound a bit...inauthentic. Offer your good thoughts and imagine escher being grateful, as I sure he is.

    Oh, and I'm sorry you had a lot of gunk happen, escher. Hope you are dealing with it and finding your equilibrium. And don't try to be someone different her & IRL. Meld them and be proudly honest. Maybe your IRL persona needs a little escherizing.
    As the arc of history bends towards justice, it's a new, more progressive day. --Steve Benen, The Maddow Blog, 11-07-12

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Escher View Post
    Thhhbbbt!
    Sorry, I thought this was to mean he was just joking with us, although it was not a joking matter. I thought he was just playing with our heart strings. In other words, giving us what he thought we wanted. A good sob story.
    Last edited by cookieee; 04-26-2012 at 07:19 PM.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by cookieee View Post
    Sorry, I thought this was to mean he was just joking with us, although it was not a joking matter. I thought he was just playing with our heart strings. In other words, giving us what he thought we wanted. A good sob story.
    Cookieee, why do you do this? You never even offered him any sympathy, so why should you even care whether he thanks those of us who did? Going around chastising others for not behaving "appropriately" really isn't appropriate, either....
    The motive power of democracy is love. ~ Henri Bergson

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraB View Post
    Cookieee, why do you do this? You never even offered him any sympathy, so why should you even care whether he thanks those of us who did? Going around chastising others for not behaving "appropriately" really isn't appropriate, either....
    You quoted what I said. I do not know this man as well as most of you. If I am completely wrong, I definetly will apoligize. I hope enough of you all know me and know that I would not deliberatly be rude to anyone. I just do not want my friends here pouring out their hearts and feeling sorry for someone that I am not sure needs it. Now if Escher would just answer my question and tell me what he meant by "thhhbbbt"

  22. #22
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    Oh for crying out loud, cookieee.

    His comment was directed AT ME and I took no exception to it at all. I assume it was a way of saying "I feel a little bit uncomfortable about exposing myself and your sympathy makes me feel more awkward." But what does it even matter? And why do you need to be sure someone needs sympathy before anyone else is allowed to give it? That's absurd.

    Escher can be an @ss, and he admits to being purposefully provocative. Whatever. If you don't like what he has to offer, then IGNORE him. You've mentioned it enough times that I'm certain you know *how* to do it via the website, but even if you don't, you can easily choose not to look at his posts if they upset you.

    But coming back to the same thread three times looking for a reaction? Or a posse, maybe? Ridiculous!
    I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. ~E.B. White

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by cookieee View Post
    I just do not want my friends here pouring out their hearts and feeling sorry for someone that I am not sure needs it.
    Shouldn't you let your "friends" decide what they should do, rather than deciding for them?
    The motive power of democracy is love. ~ Henri Bergson

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaraB View Post
    Shouldn't you let your "friends" decide what they should do, rather than deciding for them?
    Yes, that is soo true I will admit that is one of my biggest faults. I do have to learn to stop mothering people. That and having a big sister complex I apoligize. I will stay out of this from now on.

  25. #25
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    Thanks for quoting & answering my question. Bravado aside, people here do care. And if we can help you through it, more the better. Hang in there, Escher.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by cookieee View Post
    Sorry, I thought this was to mean he was just joking with us, although it was not a joking matter. I thought he was just playing with our heart strings. In other words, giving us what he thought we wanted. A good sob story.
    cookieee, I think you misinterpreted Escher's meaning when he said "Thhhbbbt!" He was not saying he was kidding about the serious stuff, he was sort of making fun of himself and saying he is going to go back to his usual persona on the forum. Hope that helps!

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by JulieM View Post
    cookieee, I think you misinterpreted Escher's meaning when he said "Thhhbbbt!" He was not saying he was kidding about the serious stuff, he was sort of making fun of himself and saying he is going to go back to his usual persona on the forum. Hope that helps!
    Thank you Someone told me it was like a "raspberry" to all of us. Therin lies the problem and confusion.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robyncz View Post
    I assume it was a way of saying "I feel a little bit uncomfortable about exposing myself and your sympathy makes me feel more awkward."
    Bingo.

    One of the shortcomings of text. Or at least my woeful writing abilities... tone is almost impossible to convey in the written word...

    One of the reasons I never text IRL.

    And, yes, thank you all. It was a dark tunnel, but I'm working my way to the other side. Now, back to your regularly scheduled Escher.
    Last edited by Escher; 04-27-2012 at 11:28 AM.
    More calm, cool, scathing logic that drives women crazy...

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Escher View Post
    Bingo.

    One of the shortcomings of text. Or at least my woeful writing abilities... tone is almost impossible to convey in the written word...
    I completely agree that the written word can often be misconstrued, simply because the reader doesn't have the benefit of tone, as you said, or facial expression to interpret the meaning. I have to say though, at risk of swelling your head further or going too far with this Escher love fest, you are a really good writer and that's at least half the fun of reading your posts! Please let us know if you ever start a blog.

  30. #30
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    Now, back to your regularly scheduled Escher.
    .........
    Oh dear....
    You may have had a lot of unfair things happen, but when you look back over your life, remember something good that has happened for you. Replay the good memories. Joel Osteen

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