You know what is more rude than failing to rsvp?

[PurplePotato]

Not responding when I email you to ask you if your child will be attending or not. After you've ignored the rsvp request on the initial invitation.

I shouldn't complain too much. Our of 16 invitations I only have 2 who have not responded. My best response percentage so far.

But, seriously, when I single you out and email you and you STILL don't respond? R-U-D-E.

[LeaHamm]

I agree, and don't understand, It takes less than 30 seconds to hit Reply and type either a Yes or No answer and hit Enter.

I also don't understand the people who only look at their e-mail messages every couple of weeks. I especially don't understand people who think it is amusing to ignore *Return Receipt Requested*

[Angelina]

I also don't understand the people who only look at their e-mail messages every couple of weeks. I especially don't understand people who think it is amusing to ignore *Return Receipt Requested*

Personally, I have the "Return Receipt Requested" function disabled. I don't ignore it, I actively refuse to act on it. But then again, I did that at my previous job, not at home.

At home nobody has ever sent me an email requesting that. I think I would not send a return receipt at home either. I don't know, it just really bugs me!

[Anne]

Not responding when I email you to ask you if your child will be attending or not. After you've ignored the rsvp request on the initial invitation.

I shouldn't complain too much. Our of 16 invitations I only have 2 who have not responded. My best response percentage so far.

But, seriously, when I single you out and email you and you STILL don't respond? R-U-D-E.

Perhaps even more rude is when someone refuses to respond but shows up anyway, with extra guests in tow. 'Cousins were visiting and some of his friends dropped by just as we were leaving the house'.

[PurplePotato]

Perhaps even more rude is when someone refuses to respond but shows up anyway, with extra guests in tow. 'Cousins were visiting and some of his friends dropped by just as we were leaving the house'.

I've had that happen and it is rude. The other thing is I've had people say "yes" then not show. To a kid's birthday party. Explaining to a kid why so-and-so isn't there is hard. That really irritates the heck out of me.

So many ways to be rude...

[vbak]

Or replying NO to a wedding invite and then showing up!

[Andrea_2]

Personally, I have the "Return Receipt Requested" function disabled. I don't ignore it, I actively refuse to act on it. But then again, I did that at my previous job, not at home.

At home nobody has ever sent me an email requesting that. I think I would not send a return receipt at home either. I don't know, it just really bugs me!

I agree. I have received the "return receipt requested" emails from a couple people, and it drives me nuts. One was from the boyfriend of a friend of mine who always sent out jokes every day to a bunch of people. You need a confirmation for that? Really?

I don't know why that feature bothers me so much, but it does. I guess I find it kind of intrusive.

[leebee]

"Return Receipt" doesn't work with all email. Like if I email from my Outlook account to one of my webmail accounts, it doesn't work. Just so you know.

Also, I am guilty of not RSVPing to not one, but two birthday parties this month. I saw them last night (after the event dates), stuck to the fridge. In my defense, I didn't know they had arrived. DH stuck them up there and didn't tell me about them. Things do happen sometimes, and I try to imagine the person that doesn't RSVP is at least as disorganized & overwhelmed as I am. Also, I don't check my personal email every day. I forget. So, evites often go undiscovered for a few days in my case. It's not a case of being intentionally rude. It's a case of being constantly 3 days behind on everything. Sorry.

[swedish cook]

The whole business with people failing to RSVP, whether coming or not, drives me nuts. As we live some distance from most friends my girlfriends always carpool when I'm hosting lunches and card games. Once they have fixed a ride, more often than not, that's it. Then it's up to me to contact possible drives and ask who they are bringing.

[LeaHamm]

I agree. I have received the "return receipt requested" emails from a couple people, and it drives me nuts. I don't know why that feature bothers me so much, but it does. I guess I find it kind of intrusive.

For me, it is like using the Return Receipt Requested at the Post Office when you need proof that an important letter or package was received.

I don't make a habit of it, but I do use the option when it involves *Need to Know!*

I had invited a couple for a week-long visit. After three e-mails, with no response, I used that option because they had no land phone line.

They never did reply, but arrived bringing another couple and their son (I had never met them). She laughed about not acknowledging my receipt requests because, "It is so much fun to keep people guessing!"

Those of you who object to the function are the ones who are always so polite that it would never occur to you that anyone could possibly need it.

(I am certainly not defending people who attach it to every message they send. Some day they are going to be "Crying Wolf!))

[vbak]

LeaHamm, seriously? They didn't respond and brought 3 extra people? What if you made other plans? And honestly, how could 3 complete strangers feel comfortable and welcome showing up on your door step for a week? Boggles my mind! The kids are arriving on SAturday, and I am so busy cleaning, and decluttering, etc. for their arrival like I would for anyone. Not to mention grocery shopping. What is wrong with people?

[Anne]

vbak - I think that some of what is wrong is lack of universal accountability - everyone has different expectations. When I am with people I know very well I get responses. When I try and extend to people outside my 'longterm friends' I find a different and diverse response. For example, with parents of one of my kid's (long time ago school age kids) new friends I often find I run into different approaches to a party invitation. Or, now that the kids are young adults, I find parents of young adults with completely different ideas of what is kind/thoughtful and what is rude.

[PurplePotato]

For me, it is like using the Return Receipt Requested at the Post Office when you need proof that an important letter or package was received.

I don't make a habit of it, but I do use the option when it involves *Need to Know!*

I had invited a couple for a week-long visit. After three e-mails, with no response, I used that option because they had no land phone line.

They never did reply, but arrived bringing another couple and their son (I had never met them). She laughed about not acknowledging my receipt requests because, "It is so much fun to keep people guessing!"
Those of you who object to the function are the ones who are always so polite that it would never occur to you that anyone could possibly need it.

(I am certainly not defending people who attach it to every message they send. Some day they are going to be "Crying Wolf!))

NO THEY DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have been tempted to ask them to guess which hotel they'd be staying at. I mean...how is that ok? HOW?

[Soupandstew]

I attempted to host a landmark birthday party for my husband a few years back, great restaurant, limo for all guests, etc. Final, non-refundable payment was due four days prior to the event. I did snail-mail invites, followed by e-mail, voice mail etc. When I finally ran down one individual who professed to dearly love my husband, she said "I'm just not into that much planning, I'm an impromptu person". And we are now "Thank God for caller ID so we don't answer the phone when phony friends call people".

[Canice]

Ugh, the "fear of commitment" aka "what if I get a better offer?" guest! I have to confess that when I was in my teens and twenties, I was not as good about sticking to a "yes" as I should have been. I don't know what changed me, but I now find it horribly inconsiderate not to stick to a commitment without a really, really good reason.

[jmarie]

You know what is more rude than failing to RSVP?

Failing to respond and then showing up.

OR

Responding that you will be in attendance and then not showing up, with no apologies or explanations.

We had more of the latter with our daughter's wedding. People seem to forget that you are feeding them and if you have asked for an RSVP, then the food is probably costing more than if you had not. You want to have enough food, of course, but then you don't want to send a lot of food home with the caterers, either!

We even called the non-responders and they indicated they had just mailed the card.....you wouldn't believe how many cards got lost in the mail. they responded in the affirmative and still didn't show up, real eye opener for us.

[1grl1by]

NO THEY DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have been tempted to ask them to guess which hotel they'd be staying at. I mean...how is that ok? HOW?

I would not have only been tempted, I would have asked them if they had made hotel reservations, and I would have been "too busy" to get together with them while they were there. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear from you, so I made other plans and now have obligations to those people."

That's just rude, and the return receipt on emails doesn't matter.

[LakeMartinGal]

I must admit, I was very surprised when I gave a bridal shower for my daughter, invited mostly senior ladies from church, and only about half RSVP'd. I though people in my generation were more considerate than that!

[swedish cook]

Ugh, the "fear of commitment" aka "what if I get a better offer?" guest!

You nailed it!

I was not as good about sticking to a "yes" as I should have been. I don't know what changed me

Whatever it was - a universal thank you, Canice

[RiverFarm]

I would not have only been tempted, I would have asked them if they had made hotel reservations, and I would have been "too busy" to get together with them while they were there. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear from you, so I made other plans and now have obligations to those people."

That's just rude, and the return receipt on emails doesn't matter.

I would definitely have done that, not only to make the point that when you lack consideration for others, it often ends up biting you in the rear, but also because no way could I have been pleasant to them that week after they had treated me so cavalierly.

[PurplePotato]

Well that person finally emailed me back. So now I just have ONE person who hasn't responded. I do not have their email, just their phone number. Trying to decide if it is worth calling them to ask.

[vbak]

I wouldn't bother with them. You've got a good response-15 kids? That's way more than plenty in my book!

[PurplePotato]

I really cannot believe the response I've gotten.

Sent 16 invitations.
Emailed 2 who didn't respond. They responded.
Only 1 remaining no-response.

So 13 responded all on their own and 2 others when prompted.

Now if everyone who said they are coming shows it will be awesome.