What is the worst or funniest or most disappointing gift you've ever received?

[lindrusso]

Okay, now I don't want to seem ungrateful, but Deanna's "worst TG dish" got me thinking about gifts we've might have received in the past that left us scratching our heads, laughing (though that was NOT the intent) or just plain mad!!!!!

I just know that with this great and diverse group, there are some howlers out there waiting to be shared .

The only thing I can think of was when I as a teenager (or maybe 12 years old???), I received Candyland from my father's aunt. Seems she was a bit behind the times......but it was very funny......she was always known for being a bit whacky!

[HUNGRY!]

I can relate to that one. I got a "Get in Shape Girl" set when I was about 15.

[sassafras]

MY great Aunt gave us a set of sheets for our wedding. Sounds nice, right? Well, they were for a full size bed (we have a Queen) and they had a duck hunting motif on them Neither DH or I hunt so we were rolling with laughter after a few minutes of confused silence Not to mention they were as scratchy as sandpaper! I'm sure that her intentions were good, but it was so obvious that they were a "re-gift" We have a picture of us holding them up and laughing! They were donated a week later!

[pammy]

OK, just so that my wonderful DH doesn't seem like a clod, let me put this gift into perspective. We had started dating, long-distance, about a month and a half before my birthday. He came out for my birthday weekend, and I was so excited. Not for a gift, but just to spend time together. I really didn't expect him to show up with anything but a card and possibly some flowers, because he was taking a day off work to make a long weekend. Anyway, he shows up with this big box, and I was really curious what it could be. A lava lamp. Yes, that's right, a lava lamp. My family has not let him forget that one, and it has been ten years. And imagine telling your girlfriends, breathlessly over the phone, that this guy, who you have shouted to the sun & moon is "the one" has brought you a lava lamp for your birthday. To be fair, I had admired his, and told him that I thought they were cool. He was also kind of going for a romatic lighting kind of vibe. And of course, he brought me a dozen red roses as well. And told me he loved me for the first time. So, I still really like that lava lamp. It was just kinda funny.

[Jewel]

Let me preface this by saying that my husband has got to be one of the most loving, generous, and loyal men ever born. My father is convinced he's an alien from another planet wearing a "Dave Suit" because no human being can be this nice, this optimistic, and be in a constant good mood day after day, year after year... Each time my father visits our house, he wanders around the house searching for the 'pod' that Dave must have emerged from. That said, my wonderful husband has one flaw. Well, two if you count the rampant cereal addiction! His main flaw is gift giving. His heart is in the right place, as always, but he kinda forgets that 'personal' touch most of the time.

This will be our fifth Christmas together. He's getting better, but I'll give you years 1 through 4

Christmas 1997: Glove box for my Saturn.
Christmas 1998: Blender, 'Frasier' coffee mug set
Christmas 1999: Pink Women's Tool Box for my car.
Christmas 2000: Pink & mint green cableknit turtleneck sweater
**note: I'm a redhead with pneumatic boobs. pink? mint green? TURTLENECK??

This year I am going to cut a catalog photo of a Fagor 6 qt Pressure Cooker and stick it in his wallet, along with Mapquest directions to the local Bed, Bath and Beyond.

[lindrusso]

Tee hee - cute stories. Jewel, for some reason I just KNEW you would have something to contribute (do you ever compose a thread and immediately you begin to picture certain people replying?)! Too funny.

Sassafras - your sheet story reminded me that my grandmother also gave us a strange sheet present. One year I opened a package and it was a sheet. Just one sheet - and one that did not look new at that! Not a set, just one top sheet. Grandma's mind was not exactly sharp toward the end of her life, so again, we just got a good chuckle out of it and put it in our garage sale.

[Chefzhat]

For our wedding someone with a twisted sense of humor gave us matching red long johns (all one piece from the Red Flannel Factory) with drop seats. And, worse yet, no card with the gift so somewhere, someone is stewing because we never thanked them for their thoughtful contribution to our happy union!!

Debie

[aggie94]

I think everyone gets at least one horrible gift for their wedding - my friends and I have affectionately dubbed it "THE gift." One friend got this horrible, yet probably very expensive, crystal cornucopia. I guess you're supposed to fill it with fruit and set it out on your table in the fall, but it was huge and awful. Ours was this set of wooden salad bowls from DH's brother and sister-in-law, who are stationed in Guam. Sounds nice, huh? A large bowl for salad, matching serving set (fork and spoon), and four small serving bowls. Well, it would have been nice except for the painted pictures inside each one - a colorful tropical scene complete with palm trees, sunset, blue waters, and sandy beaches, and the word "GUAM" in a rainbow of colors.

Oh, and we also got a re-gift for our wedding: a photo jewelry box. It was nice (it's on my dresser holding my jewelry as I write) and I would have thought nothing of it, except for the card that was inside the box that said "To John & Mary, Congratulations! Love, Bob & Sally." Unfortunately, DH & I are not John & Mary. John & Mary (names have been changed to protect the innocent) were the couple that gave us the gift. Oops.

[Gail]

Well now... that would be either the pink stretch-lace nightgown presented to me when I was eight months pregnant.... (speaking of pneumatic boobs)

...or, the Genuine Imitation of an antique butter dish (the card specifically identified it as such.) D*** thing was blue. A pukey, sickly blue, I might add.

I gather cows came in different colors back in the Olden Days?

----

Oh my. I just noticed that I left out the whole point of the Genuine Imitation Antique Butter Dish here. It was a blue cow. An ugly, imitation antique blue cow.

[Laura B]

My aunt gave me a graduation barbie for my graduation. From college. And it was not a joke. She also sent me a gaudy porcelain bear that looked like it belonged in a five year old's room for my 22nd birthday. I took it to the beach with me to show my mom, and it was so horrible that we actually stuck it in a closet at the beach house and left it! This woman has never been able to give me a gift that I actually liked. That is not meant to sound selfish or greedy. It is just that she is so obvioulsy out of touch, that I wish she would not waste her money. I would much rather just have a card from her and spend some time with her than have her try to buy something that I will like. She doesn't get it, and there is no nice way to say anything about it .

[JanetJ]

Well, my Grandma is usually pretty good with the gifts, but when I was a senior in high school she made me a jumpsuit. Keep in mind this was 1992 and jumpsuits were not the hip thing to wear. To make it even better the jumpsuit was black and white polka dots with pink and blue MOTORCYCLES all over it. I don't know where she ever found this fabric. I did wear it to school once though. I was a cheerleader and the week of Homecoming we had a different theme day - I was the 1st place of Geek Day. In retrospect that was probably not the nicest thing to do - both have a Geek Day and where my jumpsuit that my Gram had worked so hard to make for me, but at least it was better than stuffing it in the closet. Right?

[lindrusso]

Originally posted by JanetJ
To make it even better the jumpsuit was black and white polka dots with pink and blue MOTORCYCLES all over it.

Oh my goodness that is sooooo funny! I can only guess she chose that fabric because it was likely selling at a really, really good price???

[SuzyQuzy]

My DBF is the sweetest person to walk this earth, but he is terrible at giving gifts!! Last year for Christmas I got a headlight, windshield wiper blades, a coupon holder, and a gaudy sterling silver book-mark with the very romantic phrase "Merry Christmas" engraved on it. The first year we were together he bought me twenty packs (yes, that is 20!!) of X-Files trading cards!!! (?????) I've been known to watch the show, but who collects the trading cards??? I got a table last year for Valentine's day. Isn't he a hopeless romantic?? I blame it on the engineer in him.

Needless to say, this year I have been VERY specific! I got the catalogs, highlighted, circled and dogeared what I wanted. Hopefully he'll get the hint!

[JHolcomb]

OMG, Janet, I am ROTFL. I can just picture it. Where the heck do you think she found that fabric, anyway?


My worst gift was probably the cherub fountain that some of my mom's friends gave my husband and me for our wedding. Oh, it was horrible. The worst part was at the shower, my mom said "well, if you don't want it, I'll take it". I think her friends bought it for me thinking that my mom would get it anyway. We also got a set of sheets that had been regifted-I didn't realize it, though, and tried to return them to Sears (where the package said they came from) to get a credit on some decent sheets (these were 120 count. 120!), when the lady at the counter informed me that Sears hadn't made that style of sheet in over 10 years! Oh, and my favorite, because of the sheer tact involved, was my aunt who gave us a set of really cheap purple towels. She said, to my face "Well, those towels on your registry were way too expensive, so we got you these instead. And we saw you wanted white towels, but that's just not practical, so I thought purple was a nice color." Why say anything at all?! Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but really.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who has "uncharitible" thoughts about gifts. The way my husband talks you'd think I was the only person who had ever disliked a gift. He wouldn't return a gift if it were 5 sizes to small and rainbow striped. It really gets on my nerves...Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes it's like living with Ned Flanders.

[RebeccaT]

Christmas three years ago, DH (then dear-boyfriend) and I had each spent the holiday with our respective families, but he had decided it would be fun to rent a little cottage on a lake near Atlanta, where we lived at the time, for "our" Christmas a couple of days after.

We unwrapped our gifts to each other in front of a roaring fire (it was unusually cold for Georgia in December!!) and accompanied by a bottle of wine. We took turns, and it came time for me to open my last gift. I began to unwrap a large-ish box, taking off the paper, and taking off the lid... only to discover another perfectly wrapped box inside. I unwrapped that one, took off the lid... and there was another perfectly wrapped box. This went on, and on, and on.... there were a DOZEN boxes, each nested inside the one before, each one perfectly gift wrapped. I was shaking. My heart was pounding. We had been talking about getting married, but... could this be it? Could it really be it? My mind was racing as I unwrapped each box to find yet another one inside. By the time I got to the tiny box, the 12th one, I was practically in convulsions. And then I opened it....


There was the tackiest, cheapest looking fake gold and "diamond" set of earrings I had ever seen! With a matching necklace! I took them out of the box, swallowed hard, and said to my sweet boyfriend, "Oh, they're so pretty..." (eek! what am I saying! they're plastic!) He replies to me, ever so sweetly, "Oh, they're not real or anything." I say back, trying to sound grateful, "oh, sure, but they look nice!" (Liar! They were awful!) He says to me, in that way of his, "Ah, well, they were $8.99 by the register at Macy's, I just picked them up."

I was in shock. I wasn't sure what to do - maybe he really liked them? I just sat there, trying to figure out what to say, and he said to me, "Well, do you like the shape?" (they were pear shaped). I looked at him, rather confused (as if I could be more confused) and said, "Well, yes..."

And then my prince reached behind the sofa and said, "Good. Then maybe you'll like your real Christmas present...." and he pulled out the most beautiful pear-shaped diamond ring I had ever seen and asked me to marry him!

So while that doesn't even remotely qualify as my "most disappointing" gift (far from it!!!), it is a pretty funny story! DH still tells people how funny the look on my face was as I tried desparately to think of something to say!

[Laura B]

Rebecca, that is a great story!!

[Little Bit]

The most baffling gift I ever got was a roaster oven. I know you've seen them at places like Wal-Mart. They're essentially countertop roasting ovens, which might come in handy in a vacation house or when the oven's crowded.
The silly thing is, I was headed off to college. A mini microwave or fridge would have been nice, if prohibited by dorm rules, but a roaster oven?
Hmmm ... . What was she thinking? LOL!!

I had to leave it at home, of course, and I don't think I ever actually used it for any purpose whatever.

[Jewel]

Originally posted by SuzyQuzy
Last year for Christmas I got a headlight, windshield wiper blades...

Suzy!! You lucky woman you!! I WANTED a headlight, but all I got was the darned glove box! :mad: Some chicks get all the luck...

[dmcgreevey]

Well, it's funny to hear all the other stories and realize that DH is not alone!

The first year we were dating, DH and I were at my parents and opening our gifts with my family. Low and behold, I open one gift and - no joke- it was a hair dryer!!! My entire family burst out into laughter and poor DH turned bright red. Now, he explained that his family always buy practical gifts and, in fact, I was in need of a hair dryer that wasn't a fire trap, but.....

I still, to this day, do not let him live it down. But, 8 years later, he's also gotten a lot smarter about shopping. We "pre-shop" together, with me trying on jewelry and telling him the pieces to choose from. And, appliances are strictly off limits unless specifically asked for.

[catharine]

Not just any underwear....as a thank you for weeks of grueling research at the National Archives for my very unappreciative Grandmother sent me, when I was 17, a pair of black and white polka-doted panties with red lace trim.

No box or package. Just plain freakin' weird. Like that episode of Law and Order where the woman was selling used panties on the Internet.

She is so bizarre. That was definitely the weirdest present. Don't get me started on wedding presents.... My husband and I literally sat there asking ourselves: "is it us?" My husband said "maybe they don't like us?" Some real surprises.

[AndreaU]

My MIL (though I love her dearly) has a gift-buying problem. One year I got glow-in-the-dark underwear (DH liked it...). Another year it was a Thighmaster!! Excuse me?! Another time it was a meat thermometer- practical except that we don't eat meat! I seem to remember flannel pj's with kittens on them, too...

[pammy]

"Pre-shopping" is also a ritual in our household. I love the hairdryer story. My DH is just lucky that I didn't open the lava lamp in front of my family.

[LaraW]

Catherine, I got underwear too for Christmas once. I was about 13, and I opened the box from my mother and I was MORTIFIED! I mean, who gives underwear as a Christmas present? And it was those white silky briefs that (IMO at the time) old ladies wear.

I told her to never ever put underwear under the tree for me ever again. My mom seemed kind of offended until she mentioned it to my grandma, who said "don't ever do that to me either!"

LOL!

[JoanneOR]

About 5 years ago one of our two dogs died right before Christmas. Well, my aunt gave me and my husband a plaster statue of a dog which she thought looked just like the dog we had that died. She said she thought it would be something to remember the dog by. Well, I thought it was a little strange, but it was a nice thought. The weirdest thing about it was it wasn't the dog who died, it was the dog we still had. She had the dogs mixed up and thought the other had died! We didn't have the heart to tell her she had the dogs mixed up!

[JanetJ]

I almost forgot....in additon to the polka dot jumpsuit with pink and blue MOTORCYCLES on it, my Gram also made me a necklace to match. It was pieces of the fabric stuffed with cotton and beads somehow and it all coordinated. My two best friends have known me since I was in junior high and they both still tease me about it.

This is the same relative that hands you a beautifully wrapped package and you look at the tag and it says, To:JJ From: Grandma (I hope these pajamas fit) or ( I hope you like the color of these sheets) Why even wrap it!?

She's wacky, but I love her!!

[erinl]

I found this gift downright insulting...

For my wedding, my two cousins (both older than me, one still living at home, both gainfully employed, one who was at home taking a nap during the ceremony but managed to rouse himself for the reception) pitched in together to give DH and me....$20!!!

There were a few people who came to our wedding who were really struggling, and I could have cared less if they had just given us their good wishes, but I was really annoyed with my cousins. Oh well, neither one of them is married yet, so I won't feel bad not making the trip from out of town whenever they do get hitched. I won't bother sending a gift either.

I'm so ungrateful...

[lindrusso]

Originally posted by JHolcomb
Glad to know I'm not the only one who has "uncharitible" thoughts about gifts.

Your husband must be very easy to buy for .

I think there's a difference between being mean-spirited about getting a weird or tacky gift and just seeing it for what it is and having a sense of humor about it! Sometimes you just have to wonder what the gift giver was thinking (or, apparently, wasn't thinking)!

[JHolcomb]

Oh!Oh!Oh! I forgot the worst one!!! OK, my bridal shower was my MIL, DH's grandmothers and their very conservative older lady friends and then my mom and HER friends. I think maybe one or two of my friends were invited. I digress...my sister, who did not even come to the shower even though she was my maid of honor (she was mad at me) dropped off a package. Not towels, or kitchen gadgets, or anything like that, but...a two piece leopard print thong set that had one of those bras with the crucial cup area cut out, a package of bondage tape, and get this...HERBAL ANAL LUBE. So I'm opening my gifts in front of all these old ladies that I love dearly and who think a lot of me, and what do I open but that? My mom's friends, who I do not care for, and my mom thought it was a riot, but I was in tears. And I normally have a terrific sense of humor, but I didn't want these very nice women thinking that I was trash (or that my family was). I know my MIL wanted to kill my sister for me. That was just tacky. But guess what...she's getting married in February. No, I'm taking the high road and getting her a nice present-she is getting panties for Christmas, though....

[Lynn B]

I have a friend whose DH got her MUD FLAPS for their 10th anniversary!

But THIS is my BEST story... And I SWEAR it is true!!! When DFIL died, DD (then age 8) sweetly asked DMIL for a "memento" of Grandpa. Guess what she gave her? His TOENAIL CLIPPERS (complete with clippings). Really.


Lynn

[Robyncz]

Maybe I'm just giddy because the board's back up, but these are some of the funniest stories I've read in a while. I can't decide whether I wish I had something to add or I'm glad I don't. Anyway, thanks for sharing.