Bully or Bullied?

[dulcecoeur]

I am posing this question only because recently I met a girl who used to be one of my bulliers in Grade 3 or so...to prove what a small world it is she ended up being a good friend of my DBF, and when she "met" me once afterwards she dug up her school photos as she swore I looked familiar (I had not recognized her though ) and turned out we were in the same class! Then of course I had flashbacks of my "bullied" days, but she was actually the one who admitted first she was a bully then (had lots of insecurities) but now she is a very beautiful and nice person who is jealous of ME because of my job !!!!!! Anyway, I hold nothing against her.

So obviously I was bullied - what do you expect I had red hair which automatically made me different and thus a target!!! I remember one girl (I think the same one as above!) used to take my desserts from muy lunch, so my mom and I spiked them with Cayenne or soaked the chocolate in dish soap to get back at her. Anyway, I was only bullied for like that one year, but for many years after I had lots of insecurities - I always had friends (even while being bullied) but only a couple close ones that I actually trusted, and I would always be very affected if I heard negative comments about me.
Of course us redheads are also pretty emotional/sensitive about everything too which made it worse!!

To this day I still keep pretty solitary in that I have a couple close friends, but do not like to form bonds with too many people. I always focused on other things like doing well in school and on my art. I mean this is part my personality but also part from the bullying which effected my self esteem.

Just wanted to see what everyone else experienced!!

[dulcecoeur]

Oh, and I just remembered when I was in nursery school refusing to go back one morning because a girl there would be physically abusive to me all the time - I think I switched schools it was so bad.

[BlueMoose]

I wouldn't say that I was really bullied, but I do remember being picked on and teased at times. I was a pretty quiet, sensitive and shy kid, which made me easy prey.

BTW, what kind of art do you do?

[lorilei]

Originally posted by BlueMoose
I wouldn't say that I was really bullied, but I do remember being picked on and teased at times. I was a pretty quiet, sensitive and shy kid, which made me easy prey.

Me too -- Still am fairly quiet, though I open up to people who are close to me.

[Gail]

Bullied? No.

Teased? Yes.

But, I was the kid who used to stand up for the ones who got bullied and teased...

[lorilei]

Originally posted by Gail

But, I was the kid who used to stand up for the ones who got bullied and teased...

OOOOhhh... Now I understand why you put up with me

[dulcecoeur]

Originally posted by BlueMoose
BTW, what kind of art do you do?

Mostly pen and ink - sometimes add watercolour but usually prefer them black & white, and the subjects I am more interested in end up being things with a lot if interesting surfaces/textures in them - so buildings, street scenes etc tend to be my main focus. I particularly like older buildings, since they tend to have more interesting stone work or have several different materials in them -stone, wood etc. While I have done art all my life, I only started doing the pen & ink medium a couple years ago after finishing university, but it seems like I was meant for it, and I love doing it

Do you also do any art?

[LaraW]

I was picked on too, and I was quiet (still am) and sensitive. I still haven't developed a really thick skin...

But, I turned out OK

[BosunsWife]

I got picked on a lot when I was in elementary school. Biggest cause was that I was so much bigger and taller than the rest of the kids. Even the boys didn't catch up with me until they were sophmores in high school. I finally got my just desserts so to speak, I married someone that is 6'5"!

I don't have an issue now, but I have learned to stick up for others.

I'm teaching DD to be proud of her height (she is just short of 3 and about the size of a 4 or 5 year old) and to stand up straight and tall.

[JHolcomb]

Both. I got beaten up by the bigger, dumber kids for having a funny accent (really a snobby affectation) and for just not fitting in in my little redneck craphole of a town (SEE why I got beaten up?). Even the boys used to beat me up. This one really fat boy would hold me down while his sister would pound on me---and this was at the "Christian" daycare I went to. I had gum thrown in my hair, people wouldn't sit with me on the bus, etc. People made fun of my hair and my clothes (I was grunge when it was cool in Seattle...about 2 years before it was cool in NC). But I did have some alliances because if you were nice to me, I'd let you cheat off of my papers...
But my friends and I made horrible fun of anyone we deemed stupid or redneck. Stupid to us was anyone who was just in the advanced classes, not the academically gifted classes Don't even get me started on what we did to the kids that tried to take AP classes that had only been in advanced, not AG classes. We were TERRIBLE. We made such horrible fun of this one guy I halfway expected him to come to school one day and blow us all away. We were awful, horrible, terrible kids. I seriously feel terrible about it. I swear, if anyone I bullied ever tries to drag me on Jenny Jones, I'll send an apology.

[Kristilyn1]

In junior high--I had braces--I weighed 80 lbs soaking wet and I always had my head in a book. We lived in a really crappy neighborhood while my mom saved enough money (with no child support) to buy her own house. The "nice" kids didn't want to hang out with us because of where we lived and the "bad" kids in our neighborhood hated us because we were "stuck up" (i.e., knew how to read and write). High school, when we moved away was like a breath of fresh air.

I totally have sympathy for people who go nuts after being bullied. The teachers in our junior high never did a THING about it. Didn't matter how bad it was either. Not something I like to look back on, that's for sure.

Kristi

[MrsReber]

School was always weird for me. I never quite felt like I fit in. My mom's boyfriend had a porsche and he'd drive me to school. One day, a limo pulled up in front of the school with my sister and my mom's boyfriend inside! Yikes! The guy owned half the limo business so they thought they'd pick me up that day. I was an extremely quiet, shy child (still am quite shy). I was even voted "Quietest" in my 8th grade yearbook. All the popular girls seemed to hate me because of my "rich" status- and we were far from rich. The guys thought I was cool, which made the popular girls even more angry. I only had, and still have, about three or four close friends whom I trust.

One funny thing in high school, though. I was in this English class with one of the most popular girls in the whole school (who was always nice to me). She turned to me one day and said "you're so lucky". I was like "me? Lucky?" She said "because you're so smart". I later transferred out of that English class after telling my guidance counsellor I was bored. So being popular and great looking in school is not all it's cracked up to be! I guess some people are just mean due to jealousy.

[Peggy C.]

Neither, I think.

I don't remember being teased or bullied a lot, I'm sure I was teased atleast a little, because I developed rather early, but evidently didn't leave any scars.

I did tease one boy in my grade school, but I saw him last summer at a 20yr. class reunion for my 8th grade class. (Catholic school) I apologized to him, but he said nothing I ever said hurt him (some other kids did) and that he thought I was actually pretty funny.

[Laura]

I was never bullied, but often teased. I was tall (5'8" in the 7th grade) and very skinny (only 100 pounds) so I was called Beanpole. There were times when people weren't particularly nice, but that is middle school. By the time I got to high school, my height was not really an issue. By the time I got to college all the really popular guys who didn't want to date me in high school were suddenly after me. I had a wonderful time turning them all down.

Right now though it is hard because my daughter is going through a tough time. She is tall, very thin, and not a jock. She dances 4 days a week, and in her school, that just isn't cool. I am just trying to encourage her as much as possible while she goes through this time. Why are middle school girls such a pain the butt?!?!?

[lsdesign]

I was just thinking about my high school days recently as it is prom season up here. I was teased quite a bit after I transfered from an all girl Catholic school to a public school in the 11th grade. I never went to the prom however, one of the jocks did ask me several days before and I turned him down because I seemed to be his last resort. He was not attractive and I didn't want to go with him just to go. I also never dated in HS. One year into college one of my former classmates, a guy, told me how alot of the guys thought I was hot! Who knew, they certainly didn't do anything about it then.