Potty training at night... how to do it???

[KimKelly]

I have a 6 y/o boy and a 3 y/o girl. Both still use pull ups at night. Neither one of them has been able to master waking up to go to the bathroom. My poor son, we've not tired in months, but on our last try he I would go in to check him and he would be sound asleep, soaking wet - goodness knows how long ago he had gone and he never woke up. I've talked to the dr., she gave all the usual reccomendations, low water in the evening, waking him up, then medications. We do try to reduce water in the evening and I was waking him up, but this just didn't seem to be teaching him. If I didn't wake him he would wet. He got so tired that we just put the pull ups back on durring school. I really don't want to medicate at this point. Any suggestions here? She did also say that it could run in families. My mother told me that my sister had trouble till she was 8, and my FIL told me that my husband was fairly late, maybe 5, but that his brother was around 8 as well.

As for my daughter... she has decided that she doesn't want the pull ups any more. She usually makes it till around 5 or so, then she goes in the bed, but at least she wakes up. I had 6 days last week of changing everything everyday (my poor washer!). We have extra bed wet pads, but she seems to squiggle out of them and seems to miss the pad, and some how she gets the blankes as well. I'm tired, and tired of washing sheets!

Does anyone have any ideas? Tell me your potty training stories!

Kim

[Chiffonade]

I thought my mother was insane when she suggested this but it worked like a charm. She advised me to wake up my daughter just before I went to sleep every night. Do not turn on the bathroom light. Put the kid on the toilet (while supporting her so she didn't topple over). Tell her to empty her bladder, clean her up, then put her back to sleep. (I was always afraid she'd wake up "too much" and think the night was over - but this is avoided by not turning on the bathroom light.)

After a while (sorry, I don't remember how long this took), there were no more "accidents" or need for a night-time pullup.

[Chefzhat]

We had these problems as well with our oldest son, so when he was six we used the medication, forgot the name, that is squirted up the nose. Nightime wetting ceased immediately, and after the 6 week medication period he was trained to hold it at night.

I know that you are reluctant to go the medical route, but pretty soon he's going to want to go to sleepovers. I hated the thought of medicating my little guy. However, it worked, fast, efficiently and long-term.

Debie

[BosunsWife]

Glad to know I'm not the only one dreading this. #1 is 3 and I told her the other day when she turned 4 (June) the pull up is gone. She's been day trained since 2. We cut off liquids at 6pm and she still wakes up soaked in the morning. She asked me why I was going to take away her pull up and I told her that at 4 she would be a big girl and could wake up and go potty when she needed to - that is what she does at nap time.

I know that my pediatrician is going to tell me that I shouldn't even attempt it until after we get settled into our new house and routine (won't be at least until the end of summer). My mom said I night trained quite easy, I'll have to check with my MIL about DH.

[leightx]

DD was waking up soaked every night when I had her in pull-ups. One day, I was extremely frustrated with the entire potty-training thing (pooping esp., since she would only go in pull-ups), and just threw the pull-ups away. I had heard that having them sleep naked from the waist down was helpful, so we went that route. She wet her bed once or twice (and slept through it), and has stayed dry ever since. I didn't think she was "ready" since she was still wetting her pullups so much, but i guess their brains are more wired to pee in those??

I've also heard of those bed-wetting alarms that go off when they sense liquid. Those are supposed to be very effective, and you wouldn't be medicating. I'm just curious - I wonder how that medicine works. It's really interesting that something you inhale can stop you from wetting the bed.

Leightx

[ClaraB]

I tried the medication route (it's called DDAVP, and it's supposed to inhibit urine production) with my 8 yo ds, and it didn't work all that great. Some nights he'd be dry, but after awhile, he was wet most of the time. I'm going to get an enuresis alarm next - the new ones hook up to the underwear, and are apparently so sensitive that they go off with only a few drops. We'll see how it works - the next step after that will be a referral to a pediatric urologist. I'd also recommend the book Getting To Dry, which has lots of good information on the causes of bedwetting and how to treat it.

[ewatkins]

DS was in pull ups until he was 7 and 3 mos --the doc told him his brain wasn't ready yet and he was fine with that explanation. We didn't push other options as he ddin't seem to care. I did get a mattress pad about the size of a bath towel that was superabsorbent -it helped a lot with any accidents. It came from one of those catalogs like Right Start but it was 6 years ago so I don't know where to look now. As long as he is ok, I wouldn't bother with meds--just wait and see. He really can't help it and you don't want to make him feel worse....

[Chiffonade]

Do yourself a favor. Before moving onto therapy or purchases, try it my way. If that doesn't work - go deeper. That one last trip to the bathroom before the major portion of the night seemed to do the trick for my kid. Good old mom advice

[eas11]

Originally posted by Chiffonade
Do yourself a favor. Before moving onto therapy or purchases, try it my way. If that doesn't work - go deeper. That one last trip to the bathroom before the major portion of the night seemed to do the trick for my kid. Good old mom advice

Working with kids with severe disabilities, we do lots of daytime training programs and work with families on night time training. The suggestion Chiffy made has worked for several of our families. I would just elaborate a little- use just minimun lighting-enough to guide the way and DO NOT carry your child, which can create a different dependence. Gently wake, saying "time for potty" or whatever words you choose, guide to bathroom and back to bed with a quick "good job, goodnight" type of comment. No other conversations.
If this is not possible (some adults simply can't stay up for an 11 or 12 potty trip due to their own schedule/sleep needs) some of the other techniques mentioned work. However, what works for one may not work for another child.
I have used this product for training successfully. Sometimes it requires modifications. You can buy direct rather than pay between 500-1200 $$$ for a program listed on a card on a grocery store board or ad in a parents magazine.
One thing I insist on before having our staff start a potty training program at school or consulting on night time dryness is a consult with an M.D. to rule out any possible problems. In the absence of medical issues, we're cleared to use behavioral techniques.
HTH,
Ellyn

[KimKelly]

Thanks you guys for all the suggestions!

I have just one question about waking him up at night. If I do that, is he learning to do it himself? Will he just come to depend on me as he does with the pull up? My thinking was that he needs to learn to wake himself up to really learn it. I'm certainly not opposed to trying this again though (and I don't mean to be argumentative...just curious). He is such a deep sleeper (wish I could sleep like that! ) I think I will definitely try this with my daughter... she is asking every night if she can keep trying (and I'm really tired of washing sheets every day). She usually makes it till around 5 am or so, so I'd bet that if I woke her up she would make it through.

Again, I really appreciate everyone's advice. My son is a bit embarassed, so it was good for him to know that he is not alone. This is definitely not something that we have talked about with his friends. I do know of one other friend who is using pull ups as well, but I don't want to tell him about it as it would embarass that child too.

[rpysher]

So nice to read this post, as I am in the same boat. My daughter, is 6 years old and uses a pull up every night. SHe is such a deep sleeper. I brought up this issue to my pediatrician, and he is not concerned with her at all, he just claims it's a development of the nervous system and everyu year,out of 100 kids, 15 will start sleeping through the night. He just told me not to worry about it, but if my daughter becomes embarrassed or upset by it, then maybe we can try medication.

I just switched her from pull ups to Good nights and now we have had several night accidents. The pull ups were 38 pounds plus, and the good nights were 45 pounds and up. My daughter weighs 43 pounds. I think the good nights are a little big for her, but my girlfriend said they are meant to hold urine in all night and be absorbant, where the pull ups are not. NOt sure what to think. We never had accidents at night with the pull ups, but we have had butt rashes from them.

Also, late bedwetting runs in the family - her father and her grandmother so I'm just trying to get through this....

[lhall]

Originally posted by rpysher
NOt sure what to think. We never had accidents at night with the pull ups, but we have had butt rashes from them.

The Butt rashes are why we put DD1 back in to Huggies Overnight diapers when she still wet the bed. Pullups are not designed for overnight. Although I'd question if you could get big enough diapers for her and/or get her to sleep in a diaper.

Editing to say that I could not find the Goodnights in her size. She's right at 40lbs now and she just turned 5.

Good luck.
Leigh

[akairo]

I didn't have any problems with DS1, but I have yet to start with DD1. She still fills a diaper at night. I may go the route that my DS took with my niece. She bought the cloth pull-ups from Natural Baby Catalog. She said that they are very absorbent and that way she only had to wash the pull-ups, not the whole bed. If it looks like it may take a little while it would be chepaer to buy the cloth as opposed to the disposable.

Tamara

[BosunsWife]

We never had accidents at night with the pull ups, but we have had butt rashes from them.

This has been my experience lately. I use the name brand Pull Ups and she has been getting a butt rash even though I take them off as soon as she gets up in the morning (7am) She is about 43 pounds and although the largest Pull Ups fit her, I know they won't for much longer. Should I try the Good Nights?

[rpysher]

You can try the good nights, because they are designed as overnight underwear. Looks like they are made by the same company and the smallest I've seen are 45 to 60 pounds.. They are more expensive then the pull ups. I try to purchase them at Target and I'm going to check out Cosctco's the next time I'm there.

Since we've had the few accidents, I have been waking her before I go to bed and have her go to the bathroom. She doesn't remember in the morning. I think the leakage occurs when she sleeps on her side and it leaks through the side. If she sleeps on her back, we don't seem to have a problem.

As far as wearing a large diaper overnight, My daughter would never go for that. She is in kindergarten and she is trying to be so independent and fashionable.... She dresses herself before and after school etc..

[sneezles]

There are children who have immature bladders and cannot be night trained no matter how many times you "walk" them to the bathroom!

[Shirley Panek]

Originally posted by KimKelly
Thanks you guys for all the suggestions!

I have just one question about waking him up at night. If I do that, is he learning to do it himself? Will he just come to depend on me as he does with the pull up? My thinking was that he needs to learn to wake himself up to really learn it. I'm certainly not opposed to trying this again though (and I don't mean to be argumentative...just curious). He is such a deep sleeper (wish I could sleep like that! ) I think I will definitely try this with my daughter... she is asking every night if she can keep trying (and I'm really tired of washing sheets every day). She usually makes it till around 5 am or so, so I'd bet that if I woke her up she would make it through.

Again, I really appreciate everyone's advice. My son is a bit embarassed, so it was good for him to know that he is not alone. This is definitely not something that we have talked about with his friends. I do know of one other friend who is using pull ups as well, but I don't want to tell him about it as it would embarass that child too.

This is how we trained our son (5 1/2) and daughter (3). I thought my husband was crazy when we started potty training my son at night. My DH decided "no more diapers/pull-ups at night" and put him in bed. I was worried that he wouldn't wake up and would be soaked, so I slept with him the first night waking up every hour or so to see if he'd gone to the bathroom. He stayed dry that night, but when my husband slept with him the next night he wet the bed (can anyone say karma? ). Anyway, we did the route that Chiffonade took, although since we were going to bed so early my husband would wake up some time in the middle of the night (1am? 2am?), get him up out of bed and take him to the bathroom. I'll say there were a couple of nights when he would be very cranky/crying saying he didn't want/need to go to the bathroom, but it didn't last very long. As a mother I found it hard to listen to him getting so upset over it, but I'll hand it to my husband, it did work, and didn't take that long.

As for his dependence on you to wake him up - I think what you're really doing with this kind of method is "programming" his brain to say, "Okay, I think it's time to see if you need to go to the bathroom." It probably pulls him out of a deeper sleep (not that he's awake). I've seen my son get up and go, and it's like he's sleepwalking.

Good luck!

[KimKelly]

Thanks Shirley, I really appreciate your respose! It was exactly what I needed to hear. I think we can do it! My daughter is the one who is really interested in doing it (my 3 year old) so I think we'll have a go with her first (I just don't think I can do both at once!). I will let everyone know if and when we succeed, that is after I get those darn lack of sleep dark circles out from under my eyes. Thanks again everyone for the kind words and advice. You all always make me feel so good!

Kim

[akairo]

Originally posted by rpysher
As far as wearing a large diaper overnight, My daughter would never go for that. She is in kindergarten and she is trying to be so independent and fashionable.... She dresses herself before and after school etc..

Oh, they're not a large diaper. Actually they are thick cloth underwear that are very absorbant.

[karen w]

I guess I was fairly lucky with PM potty training. My youngest one(DD-3) and my middle(DS#2) did it on their own within days/weeks of potty training during the day. They essentially were daytime and night time trained simultaneously without DH and I doing a thing. DS#1 wore pull ups at night until he was 6years and about 4 months. Our problem was that he was not consistently dry at night. He would go for several days dry, and then several in a row wet. He was/is a very deep sleeper. After talking to the pediatrician we started using a "sleep-dry alarm" and within about 3-4 months we were finally able to give away the last of the pullups. While the alarm probably does not work for all kids, DS#1 was very interested in the alarm and motivated to stay dry. He was also close to doing it on his own, so this helped give him the edge he needed.

Karen