Wedding Guest Attire

[Shoregirl66]

I was scrolling through Mamasue's thread regarding whether or not her DD should wear nylons with open toed shoes when I came across some responses which seemed to criticize her DD for wearing black as a guest at the wedding she was attending.

Just wondering what's up with that ! I almost always wear a little black dress to a wedding, as do most of the other ladies in attendance.
Maybe this is a regional thing...I live in NJ/NYC Metro area where wedding receptions are usually Saturday evening, and somewhat formal events and the black dress always looks great.

Just curious what your thoughts are about wearing black as a guest at a wedding ?

[badunnin]

I'm going to a wedding next week and will be wearing black. For me, it depends on how formal the wedding will be. Evening, sit-down dinner, semi-formal and I will wear black. If I feel like standing out, I'll wear colour.

[HeatherTx]

My BIL is getting married in two weeks and I am wearing black. It is a 7pm wedding and my DH and DS will be in tuxes. I usually wear black though to evening weddings.

[mbrogier]

It used to be a no no to wear black---and that has hung around in the South to an extent, but not many people cling to that anymore. The fact is, most women have a dressy black dress. Why be forced to buy a special dress for a wedding? In the summer, you might be the only one wearing a dark dress and you could stand out, but I don't that would be the case in the fall or winter.

[gertdog]

I'd wear black to an evening or formal wedding without worries. I'd probably wear something more colorful to an afternoon or garden wedding, but that's just personal preference, not b/c I think black is a no-no. One of my favorite summer dresses is black linen with bare shoulders- with a colorful shawl tossed over the shoulders I think it would look great for a wedding.

[Grace]

It's true that times have changed. We're not expected to wear corsets and petticoats anymore either, yet there was a time when the idea of going without would have been the height of distastefulness. Some people just don't like the idea of change, I think. But it's definitely perfectly acceptable now. I went to a very high-class wedding last October (they paid $350 per person for the reception!), and there were many, many women in black evening dresses. I also know many women who chose black dresses as their bridesmaid dresses. I say do whatever makes you happy. As the bride, I didn't care how anyone showed up at my wedding. I only invited people I love, and if they took the time out of their lives to come and share an important day in my life, I wouldn't have cared if they came in a gunny sack. I don't love my family/friends for the clothes they wear. Inappropriateness for me falls to things like lewdness (ie say wearing something too revealing or tight, etc.), not COLOR

Anyhow, that's just my little opinion!

[JHolcomb]

It's perfectly acceptable to wear black to a wedding that takes place after 6PM.

[vbak]

Most receptions around here are in the evening and I do wear black to the reception. I wear something lighter to the church. Most people wear black to the reception. In fact, for my DD#2' s wedding I wore a light colored suit to the church and horrors, a black velvet dress and jacket to the reception.

Vicky

[TLee4]

I am actually going to a big anniversary party at a hotel tomorrow night. It's not a wedding, but similar. At first, I was nervous that if I wore the dress I am planning on (pastel, floral, very feminine and cute) I'd be the only woman NOT in black!

But I'm wearing it anyway...!

Terri

[Jessica]

It also is more and more difficult to find nice dresses in colors other than black. My brother got married last year and my SIL asked the women who were doing readings (me and two others) not to wear black. I only had a nice black dress so I shopped for days and days and could not find anything appropriate that was not either black or designed for prom. I finally found a red dress and wore it, and the other two women DID wear black. They looked sleek and elegant and I looked like a big tomato.

[zippy478]

It is tougher and tougher to find dresses that look good that aren't black. I am now shopping for a dress for my brother's wedding and I am having a hard time finding something that is a little more classic - especially since the wedding is at 630! I don't want to be the "bad" sibling that looks trampy in the wedding pictures that will be displayed for years to come. While I don't want to wear black - I have a feeling that's what I will end up in.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to wear black regardless of the time of day - as long as you don't wear jeans like someone at my wedding did!

[stefania4]

I've worn black to evening weddings, and several women wore black (with flower prints) to our afternoon wedding reception, including my MIL. They all looked great.

We did have one guest wear a white dress. It didn't bother me, but I did think it was an odd choice.

[beejayw1]

What would you all say about a woman who wore a floor-length cutwork white dress to a wedding (she wasn't the bride) and had flowers in her hair? And what would you say if I told you she was the mother of the bride?

I kid you not. My brother's MIL.

[lorilei]

Diana -
I'd have to wonder about her

I'm not a fan of all this fuss-fuss over the bride. Even for my own wedding, I didn't want it to be a production of "ME ME ME"... but I just think that's rude!


On the black dress front, though... it's interesting to note that black used to be the color of the WEDDING dress. My great grandmother was (apparently) a real trailblazer when she refused to wear the black gown that was traditional in her family.

[LaraW]

I have a really nice black dress that I wore to my sister's wedding and to the wedding of some friends. Someone told me that wearing black to a wedding was symbolic of being against the wedding that was taking place.

I assured the couple at both weddings that I was not against the marriage, I just had a black dress.

[vbak]

Jessica, I totally agree with you; if it isn't a black stylish dress it looks like a prom gown in those pastel colors. Finding a dress for mother of the bride is a very laborious frustating job.

Vicky

[Valerie226]

Just went to an afternoon wedding & I wore black pants cause I don't wear pantyhose & a dressy white shirt & summer weight jacket. there was a whole RANGE of clothing present. I agree that if it's not too tight or revealing or upstaging the bridal party, almost anything goes. there were people in tuxes and people in dockers. Everyone had a great time& no one cared.

[MrsReber]

I will wear black as a guest, but not as a family member (does that make sense?). I agree that most nice dresses are indeed black. DH and I both asked his mom NOT to wear black to our wedding. She did. Didn't ruin my day, though. The bottom line is that all eyes are on the bride, as they should be. Most people, if they're having a good time, could care less what someone else is wearing as long as it's not trashy or in very bad taste. I do try not to wear black and have found that navy blue is a wonderful substitute - it's elegant and tasteful.

[Gail]

Really, I'd prefer not to wear black to a wedding, but I have. I've also worn white and off-white quite a few times when that wasn't necessarily an accepted thing to do, either.

What I found really weird, however, was an early evening wedding we attended several years ago, which was held during the summer in a rented hall. The bridesmaids wore long black evening gowns, the ushers wore tuxes. I showed up in a suit and felt overdressed. Some of the guests were wearing shorts!