Worried about my father

[newcook]

I am quite worried about my father's health. He is 83 years old and has been sick with flu like symptoms for several weeks. He had diarrhea for 11 days and was running a high fever. My mother (82 years old) took him to the doctor who gave him pills to take.

A few days later he was so dehydrated and weak that we took him to the hospital. They put him on IV and took cultures. After 6 days he started to feel better and they released him. They said he had a bad reaction to antibiotics he had taken a few weeks earlier.

My mother said he is sick again with diarrhea and low fever. She called the hospital who refered her to a health hotline. They told her it was nothing to worry about, that it just takes time to recover at that age. They said that if the fever reaches 100.8 or if he shows signs of dehydration that we should take him to the hospital but otherwise to rest and take plenty of fluids.

My sisters and brother think it sounds fishy. My father is very thin and I don't think he can sustain this for long.

I just needed to talk about it, thanks all for listening.

Daniele

[wallycat]

I'm so sorry this is happening.

Can you take him to a different doctor?
I wish I could offer more advice.

When he's trying to rehydrate, you can mix water with a little juice so that it is absorbed better (electrolytes)...easier than buying gatorade type sports drinks.
If he can't drink much maybe freezing some diluted juice for him to suck on.

Has he recently switched medications? THat may be making him ill as well.

Keep us posted and I wish him well.

[Laura]

Daniele, I am so sorry you have to worry about your dad's health. My dad is 91, and although he is in generally good health, since my mom passed away in February he is not doing as well. I would definitely have your mom take him in to the doctor Monday if things don't improve, and sooner if he shows any signs of dehydration. Maybe recommend that he take some gatorade or something like it in small amounts. Hope he feels better soon! Laura

[newcook]

Thank you for your care. My parents live in the country, a 1 1/2 hour drive from here. There is only one doctor in the area. The hospital is 1 hour away from them and my mother doesn't drive so going to the doctor or hospital is quite an ordeal for them. We have been taking turns driving up to take them where they need to go. It means taking a day off work and 5 hours driving each time. We have tried to get them to move closer to the city but my father says we might as well drive the nails into his coffin.

The hospital situation around here is pretty bad as well. The hospital administrations are in a feud with the government over funding. The government thinks the hospitals are squandering the funds and the hospitals complain of being underfunded. So the hospitals refuse to open beds saying they don't have sufficient staff and the government says they are using that as a pressure tactic. So patients are left out in noisy and continually lighted hallways for weeks without privacy or dignity.

The last time my father was hospitalized the nurses kept him in emergency for almost a week out of compassion and respect for his age. They put him in a corner and made walls with dividers. They told us he would be much better there where he would be continually attended to by nurses and where he would have at least a little privacy. We are very grateful to those caring nurses. They also allowed my mother to visit which is usually forbidden in emergency.

The nurses told my mother to make a mixture of boiled water and orange juice with some salt added. That sounds like what you are suggesting. I would have to ask my mother about his medication, I know he takes various different things for arthritis, cholesterol and sleeping pills but I'm not sure what they are. He had a triple bypass operation some 27 years ago and I'm not sure if he is still taking anything for that.

My mother is being very attentive to his condition. She is taking his temperature and blood pressure several times per day.

I sure do hope it will be OK.

Daniele

[slknight]

(((Daniellle), no advice. Just sending you a big hug and strength to get through this difficult time.

Susan

[newcook]

I just wanted to share the latest about my Dad. It seems to help me not to worry so much knowing you are there to talk to.

My father is still having diarrhea on and off and the worry is really starting to wear on my mother. Now we are worrying about the both of them. So my brother is on his way to pick them up and to bring them to a Montreal hospital. My mother will stay with us in the city. The only problem is that the hospital is not really allowed to take patients outside its proximity and it could turn him away. We are hoping they won't do that considering my parents age and the length of the drive to get there. Also, my brother is counting on the fact that my father heart's surgery was performed there so they do have an ongoing file.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for listening,

Daniele

[Slowcooker]

Daniele- sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he and your mom do better soon!

[syzygy]

((((Daniele))))
Good thoughts for you and your family to get through this.

[newcook]

Thank you all so much for your support.

It turns out that when my brother arrived at my parents house, my father was very insistent that he did not want to go back to the hospital.

So my brother called his doctor at the hospital where he was treated and the doctor gave him an appointment as an outpatient in a couple of days. The doctor said it could be that it just is taking time to recover and did not seem overly concerned about the continuing diarrhea and low fever.

My sisters feel that my brother was not insistent enough but I think if my father was feeling very sick, he would not have hesitated to go back to the hospital. He had not had any objections the first time so I think I would like to give my parents credit for their good judgment over the years with their own health and that of 7 children (that is us). For some reason, as we grow older we want to take charge of our parents life but our parents say they are capable of taking care of themselves and even claim they could do a few things for us.

Three cheers for those folks who still have a lot of spunk in them in their 80's!!

Daniele

[Laura]

Daniele, I am glad your dad still has his spunk and hope that he is feeling well soon. I have no medical background whatsoever, so my only thoughts are to keep him well hydrated throughout all of this. Take care of yourself too; I know how hard it is to worry about your elderly parents.

[Leisa M]

Originally posted by newcook
Thank you all so much for your support.

It turns out that when my brother arrived at my parents house, my father was very insistent that he did not want to go back to the hospital.

So my brother called his doctor at the hospital where he was treated and the doctor gave him an appointment as an outpatient in a couple of days. The doctor said it could be that it just is taking time to recover and did not seem overly concerned about the continuing diarrhea and low fever.

My sisters feel that my brother was not insistent enough but I think if my father was feeling very sick, he would not have hesitated to go back to the hospital. He had not had any objections the first time so I think I would like to give my parents credit for their good judgment over the years with their own health and that of 7 children (that is us). For some reason, as we grow older we want to take charge of our parents life but our parents say they are capable of taking care of themselves and even claim they could do a few things for us.

Three cheers for those folks who still have a lot of spunk in them in their 80's!!

Daniele

Watch carefully. My grandmother was like your father, she had "spunk" and did not want to go to the hospital. I found her one day sick on the sofa when I came by after class, and forced her to go with me. She had bleeding peptic ulcers.

The surgeon said that they had not burst yet, but if they had she would most likely have bled to death.

[newcook]

Leisa I know what you mean. Thankfully my mother is with him watching him like a hawk.

Daniele

[newcook]

I feel like I'm going through an emotional roller coaster, one minute thinking it is nothing more than a flu that is taking longer than usual to heal and then the next minute thinking the worst. Today I just can't seem to stop crying.

My father called my brother this morning and said he was feeling so poorly he wanted to be taken to the hospital. My brother is on his way.

I wish I could get a hold on my emotions right now.

Daniele

[wallycat]

Take a deep breath.
Watching your parents aging and dealing with illness is never easy.
You are doing all that can be done; the hospital will do their best.

They are lucky to have kids who care about them so much and are helping them out.

Illness is a roller-coaster. Crying can make you feel better somehow.

I don't really have great words of wisdom only that I too have gone through sick parents.
Remember again that you are doing all you can.
((((((((((((newcook))))))))))))))))

[newcook]

Wallycat, I just feel so terrible. I know it is something many of you have had to deal with. You are all so caring and supportive, I think this is the best group of people in the world. I guess that is why it is such a comfort to come here.

Daniele

[Laura]

Oh Daniele, I am so sorry your dad is feeling worse. I just went through this with my mom this past year. It is very hard. Come to us whenever you need to. (((((Daniele)))))

[bluestocking]

Daniele, our thoughts are with you to give you strength. I speak from experience when I say that dealing with elders can be trying to say the least. Trying to do what is best for them when they resist is terribly frustrating. Our natural inclination to let our parents decide for themselves- they're the parents!- is slowly replaced by the realization that in fact they might not be doing good for themselves. It takes a long time to get them to see that we might be suggesting/doing what's best for them, and in fact some elders (again- my experience!)- don't ever accept that fact. Good luck.

[JackieO]

Just another sympathetic voice chiming in. My 88-y/o father died in February after a year or so of declining health. As hard as it is to watch your parents age and decline, there is great comfort to be taken in the fact that they have lived long and full lives. It sounds as if your parents fall into that category with seven children who surround and support them.

Celebrate the life lived, and know you have lots of friends to lean on on this board!

{{{{daniele}}}}

[newcook]

Thank you all for your support and for allowing me to tell my story here. It helps so much to be able to share it with you. I'm feeling much better today, I think it is not good for me to listen to my sister's fears. After all we don't really know what is wrong yet.

The hospital in Montreal admitted my father within 10 minutes of arrival which is a relief because the usual waiting time is 4 to 6 hours. They placed him in a small room in emergency within 30 minutes and the doctor was there to examin him in no time. They connected him to a heart monitor just in case.

A male nurse was assigned to him who told my mother not to worry that he would keep an eye on my father. My mother said the nurse was checking in regularly and all of this gave her a huge relief. The doctor took swabs and had my parents sign papers giving them permission to view the tests which were done at the other hospital.

I think it will be a few days before they have enough information for a diagnosis, but it looks like he is in good hands.

Daniele

[JackieO]

THanks for the update. Continued good thoughts and prayers are coming your way....

[sharris315]

Daniele, that is great news. Just knowing he is in a a situation now where he is getting care, I'm sure is a huge relief. Hope for the best...

I'm sending an extra prayer your way--

Shar

[Slowcooker]

I'm glad to hear he's getting the care he needs. Just knowing that should do wonders for his recovery

[newcook]

I hope you don't mind another update.

The treating doctor called in 3 other doctors for consultation, a specialist in infectious diseases, an endocrinologist and a gastroentorologist (I'm not sure of the spelling). The doctor said it is a complex case.

They took swabs of nose, throat and rectum and blood samples. They asked him zillions of questions.

They have transfered him to an isolation room as a precautionary mesure. Originally all visitors were asked to put on gowns and masks and had to wash up when leaving but now my mother said they are not asking people to do that anymore. He is now connected to an IV and is taking 2 different antibiotics.

All in all though he is feeling a little better and feels very confident that he is getting the best care there is. My mother also was in pretty good spirits considering.

My mother said when she originally came to the emergency room she told the attending staff: "I brought him to you in 1976 and you saved him for me and now I'm hoping you will save him for me again". I don't know there is something about it that I find really touching.

Daniele

[Linda2]

Newcook,
I've been watching for updates from you. Your dad (and mom) are in good hands! I'm glad that your dad is feeling better. Keep those updates coming. You and your parents are in my prayers!

[valchemist]

I'm lurking here, too, Danielle. Your dad is in my prayers.

Val

[newcook]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to report that my father is doing much much better now. They found he was suffering from a bacterial infection. They said that the first time the antibiotic treatment was probably not continued long enough and that is why the problem had not cleared up. My father is expected to be released any day now.

Thank you all for your kindness, support and prayers. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me.

Daniele

[sharris315]

Great news, Daniele!


Shar

[wallycat]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad he'll be on the mend and home where he prefers!!

Such good kids those folks have

[JackieO]

Thanks GREAT news! Thanks for the update.

[newcook]

My family and myself would like to thank you all for your kindness during this time.

I thought I would post a picture of my parents so you could all know who we were praying for.



Daniele