My son had a few tantrums like this around the same age. He would cry, scream, kick--all the ugly stuff. My daycare provider gave me the advice to start singing & doing something else--read a magazine, do the dishes, anything but give him attention. I wouldn't even try to put him in his room. I just walked away. This infuriated him the first couple of times, and seemed to make it worse--but my babysitter said to keep with it. I did, and eventually (like a week or two later), he would simply stop as soon as I stopped giving him attention. Then, when he calmed down, I would hold him & tell him that I loved him no matter what, but if he was mad he had to learn to use his words. He finally learned to say "bad day" when he was feeling that nasty feeling, and we'd try to find a way to deal with it. We had a deal that he could cry & be mad, but no screaming, throwing, etc. I don't know how much he understood, but we still deal with his moods this way (he's almost 4, and to this day will say, "I'm having a bad day" when he feels bad & usually will ask me just to leave him alone for a little while). I also started giving him options--"Do you want your red or your black coat on?" "Do you want to put your books or your toys away first?" The illusion of control helped him a lot. I know not every child is the same, and different things work for different families, but once you find your "thing" I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work.
As the arc of history bends towards justice, it's a new, more progressive day. --Steve Benen, The Maddow Blog, 11-07-12
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), I think it really lowers his overall frustration level. He can tell us if he needs help with something instead of crying or throwing a tantrum. He tells us when he's hungry or when he wants to go to sleep. He also tells about stuff that he's noticing that we never would have realized. 
