Just saw this awful story on the news

[MrsReber]

I hate to post something so awful, but I am so sad. I went into the kitchen at work to get a pack of gum from the candy machine. There is a tv with CNN on all the time. Just as I walked in, they had a new story on about a couple that was in jail for abusing their 6 month old baby. The baby is in critical condition. They're saying if she makes it, she may be blind and have some other problems. I just want to sit here and cry. I can't believe that anybody could be so horrible and I can't believe this poor baby has only known these awful, horrible, parents who don't deserve to even live.

I wish these things didn't have to happen. I wish I could go hold that poor little baby and let her know that there is kindness in this world.

Sorry to be such a downer, but this story really got me upset. I wish I knew what I could do to help.

[Sarah428]

I saw the headline to this on cnn.com and couldn't even bring myself to read the entire story...how sad

[LaraW]

I know, I feel the exact same way when I hear similar stories. There has been a story in the news recently about a trial of a man who was accused of shaking his baby to death. It breaks my heart to think about what that baby felt while it was just asking for some love and comfort. I have a 14 month old DD, and while it has always been so hard for me to hear these stories, it has been so much harder since she was born.

Probably not a good way to deal with stuff like this, but I have had to stop watching the news. It is just too upsetting sometimes.

[Peggy]

Horrible story! There are so many wonderful people in the world that would give just about anything to become parents yet it seems like children are given too easily to those that only abuse them. Makes me very sad!

Peggy

[Chelle D]

Oh, I hate stories like this......I have no idea what would make people do these kinds of things.

[MrsReber]

Lara, I feel the same way about watching the news. There are so many things that I can't watch anymore. Unfortunately, though, I get this nagging feeling because I know the stories are still out there- whether or not I view them. I really wish I hadn't seen this one at all. It literally made me cry and I can't seem to get my mind off it. These people should just be shot.

[Beth]

Is this the couple in Houston? If so, they also had a 15 mo old daughter removed from their custody. This has been at the top of the news here for days now. She was examined and showed evidence or prior abuse. The 6 month old is on life support and has kidney failure -- I think I heard multiple fractures. The abuse was apparently both physical and sexual. You can only imagine the injuries possible -- just horrible. I haven't read the newpaper about this -- the 20 second blurbs on the radio have been enough.

Just say a prayer or send your most loving thoughts for this baby and her sister. They need a lot of love.

[Beth]

Susan, don't know if it helps, but the parents are being held without bond.

[Meganator]

I can see that one parent can just be very mentally ill and do horrible things...but whenever I see a story where it seems like both parents were in on such behavior, I always wonder how it gets to that...what are the odds that 2 people so screwed up get together and act on it? Very tragic.

[Arete]

Truly awful. A few nights ago I saw the story about the FL couple that abused 5 of their 7 adopted children. The two 14 year old twin boys each weighed around 38 lbs! I won't repeat the other things listed in the news report because it's too disturbing, but it makes me just sick. Those people deserve to die a slow, tortuous death.

[MrsReber]

I hate that there's really nothing anyone can do. People have babies and there's no way to know what they'll do once their at home. It just seems like there's no way to prevent the abuse and that makes it even worse. I do pray fo that little baby. I didn't hear about the older sibling. I did hear that they were being held without bond, but somehow that doesn't even seem like enough. They can never know the emotional and physical pain they have inflicted. I can't even comprehend this type of behavior against someone so small and defenseless.

[SLFlyt]

This just makes me feel so sick. My heart just about breaks for that baby. To think that there are so many people out there who would have loved to have her, but we sensible people already knew that. I just can't imagine what could make anyone, parent or otherwise, want to harm such an innocent.

[mbrogier]

There was a guy that owned a daycare in NC several years ago and sexually abused a lot of the children over a long period of time. The case was in the news for over a year. When they found the guy guilty, the people sentencing him had an issue on where to have him serve his sentence because they knew what would happen to him in prison. The consensus among all of the citizens of NC was that was the justice that scumbag deserved. He did get beat up a lot, not that it even started to make up for what he did.

I hadn't heard of that last case, but the one in Fl was enough to make me nauseated. Those people didn't look demented. What kind of sentence do you give people like this??? :mad:

[boisewinesnob]

I almost didn't open this thread because I knew it would be something like this
I hate hearing this stuff too.

I worked with a woman in Seattle who had to serve on the jury of a very publicized case (about 10 yrs ago). Someone had scalded their infant to death, and then tried to blame it on THEIR OLDER PRESCHOOLER!!!
I don't know which is worse :mad: , but I can't imagine my friend having to listen to all the horrible details every day in court. And I can't even begin to imagine what the children went through

[Beth]

My mom once spent a week on a jury hearing a case of sexual abuse by a father against a young daughter (I think she was 5 at the time) and they had to aquit him because of a lack of evidence. She said everyone on the jury believed he was guilty, but they couldn't make the case. It really tore her up, and she said it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. Totally changed the way she felt about serving on a jury, or at least a criminal one.

I have heard that there is not a lot of sympathy for folks convicted of abusing children in prisons. They seem to be targets for lots of things. I agree, while it does seem to fit the what goes around model, it doesn't make anything right. In fact, it may be part of what perpetuates the problem. There is a lot of evidence that victims of abuse stand a higher chance of either being victimized as adults and/or becoming an abuser themselves. Incarceration alone does nothing to stop the pattern, and incarceration with added abuse probably adds to it.

[AvrilH]

There is something you can do: Serve on a jury if you are called. I am a prosecutor, and I cannot stand to hear otherwise responsible people squawking that they don't have time for jury duty.

Another thing: If you have information that could help stop or prosecute a horrible offence, tell the police. of course people don't "want to get involved" and don't want to make a complaint that might turn out to be wrong, but especially when children are involved, everyone has to take responsibility.

Sigh. Off my soap box. But trust me, you would be frustrated too if you had to try to get the bad guys into jail, and you were thwarted by everyday citizens that could but don't want to help.

[Laurielee]

People are are just sick, how can anyone do this to a child, this morning I watched GMA and they are talking about an internet task force on child porn. The police have been tracking a web site for 2 years on a girl, they think she is now 11. They dont know who she is,but dont want to show her face for fear of the trauma it could do to the girl posting her picture in the media, I am stunned, if they did it could put an end to it immediately, maybe 2 years ago. So instead they are publicizing the places where it is occuring hoping people can id the places,they think it may be a parent. I cant believe the police have been letting this go on for 2 years, as if that hasnt already traumatized the poor girl for life. that just makes me sick

[MrsReber]

Avril, my frustration with our local court system is that they have only called me once for jury duty! We get called for one week. I got picked on my first day. On the morning of the second day, the case settled (auto accident). I volunteered to stay for the rest of the week. The other people couldn't wait to get out of there. I agree with your assessment.

They just recently arrested a bunch of people in NJ on child pornography charges- one of them was a pediatrician! It was an internet based thing and the total number of people arrested was astounding to me. I think it's just more widely publicized these days. But it still makes me so sad. I wonder how to keep my own children safe.

[AvrilH]

Mrs. Reber: When it comes to our own children, we have to educate them. Even my three year old understands private parts, and can tell me when it is ok for someone to touch them (for example, if he needs a little help cleaning up after using the toilet). My older sons understand things to a deeper level, and we role-play and do multiple-choice questions to test them.

Another helpful tip is to have a secret password, which helps eliminate the need for a young child's judgment. For example,if your car breaks down on the way to pick your child up, and you get another parent to do it, your child will know it's ok to go with that parent if they have the password. Choose a password that your child can remember, but is not obvious. Favorite foods (pizza!) are often good.

As well, we have to be super-vigilant about who they are with. Not a minute of unsupervised time! It was very difficult for me when I moved to a new city and knew no-one, and sometimes I had to spread myself pretty thin when 2 of the kids had to be in different places, for soccer and baseball for example.

And you must choose supervisors very very carefully. My sons would never be allowed to go to someone's house if I don't know their parents, don't know what they do, and don't know the kid very well.

THis is all non-expert advice from me, but it is taken from the police experts I know. It is a scary world, for sure, but I can tell you that most children are harmed in the home. For those of us that are nurturing our children, they are as close to being safe as they can be.