Small amount of panic..hosting first Thanksgiving

[crispywafers]

Hi all,

Well in honor of our first house, we have been selected this year to host Thanksgiving (for 12 people). I have decided to try and cut down on some of the panic by making this a "pot luck" Thanksgiving.

So a couple questions: When you have a pot luck type Thanksgiving, would I be in charge of the main dish (aka Turkey) and what else?

Do I dictate who should bring what or just tell everyone to bring a dish?

And last but not least... there seems to be a debate overall on Alton's turkey vs CL Ultimate Turkey. Which one? I'm not too caught up in the calories on Thanksgiving - I just want some good recipies.

Oh yeah.. and one more...- when do most people start cooking/preparing for the Thanksgiving meal (that morning? the night before?)

[AvrilH]

Potluck is a great idea! And I would definitely do the turkey yourself. I use Alton's recipe, and IMHO it makes a great turkey. If I were you I would also do the stuffing, and have storebought good quality buns/bread. I would also have a large simple green salad available.

If you have those bases covered, and are certain that someone will bring dessert, I think you don't have much more to worry about to fill out your table.

As for doing things ahead, I always do the whole meal myself, so I definitely break it up - breads ahead and in the freezer, sweet potatoes done day before, as well as peeling the white potatoes and brining the turkey. Dessert usually gets done the night before too. Then I am not concerned until about noon the day of, and steady puttering will get a great meal on the table with little stress.

Last advice: PLan around your available oven space! I have a double oven and a large convection toaster and I still have to plan carefully.

[Alleycat]

Since you are hosting, at a minimum I think you should be providing the bird and the stuffing.

For me, the panic comes from having others bring food. I guess I'm a control freak! We hosted last year (first time), and I wanted complete authority over the meal!!

I planned my menu ahead of time and determined what could be made ahead of time. I cleaned and washed the good dishes and crystal on Tuesday , set the table on Wednesday. Had all the serving dishes out, with the correct serving utensils.

Wednesday night I got my appetizers and cranberry-chipotle conserve ready, too.

My turkey recipe required a rub on Wednesday and overnight refrigeration, so I just had to pop it in the oven on Thursday morning.

I made my mashed potatoes before the guests got there and popped them in the crockpot to stay warm. The stuffing was in the bird.

ETA: I saw a tiered oven rack at Bed Bath and Beyond the other day. You put the bird in one half of the oven, and the rack on the other half, allowing you to have 2 or three other baking dishes in the oven.

[brykate]

Only a small amount of panic? Then you're doing pretty good! I think my first time I was more than slightly freaked (that might have been xmas eve dinner, dunno)

Anyway, the potluck idea sounds good, the expense on one person is a LOT to ask. Our family does potluck style and we usually chime in if there's something we'd like to make or have in mind. If someone doesn't specify when you bring it up then ask what catagory they'd like at least. And don't forget about early apps, but not from someone who's usually late (yes, that was me one year!)
Hostess doing the turkey makes sense since it takes so long to cook -and I suppose could be difficult to reheat evenly. Which recipe? I've got nothing helpful there, I'm sure others will.

Prep in advance - I suppose that's personal choice. I start making lists weeks in advance. Yes, a little anal about some things.
To help lessen your stress make as much ahead as possible so you have less to worry about the day your guests are arriving. My mom used to take work off Wednesday so she could get more ready the day before. (not to mention housework) If you have a couple of "old pros" in the family ask them for help and advice too, a little "buttering up" never hurts. Some dishes will be made or put together by others as the day goes so you'll probably be helping them find things or whatever besides.

Does that help? It will be a great day Give thanks for your new house that all can come to.

[colleency]

I wouldn't necessarily tell them what recipes to bring, but I might say, "please bring mashed potatoes" or "please bring a green vegetable." Then you won't get duplicates.

[tbb113]

Potluck is the easiest way to go. As host, I would have the turkey and and easy appetizer/snacky food in case somebody comes early. Also, provide the drinks (unless you have a non-cook in the group).

I would definetly assign dishes. For example, green vegetable, stuffing, potatoes, appetizer, dessert, etc. That way you know the meal is balanced.

I don't do either of the turkeys you listed. I did the one that is a CL turkey and has parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme shoved under the skin. My non-turkey loving sons LOVED it so I'm not messing with success

An unstuffed bird will cook faster than a stuffed one.

[Kathy B]

We usually do potluck, and as others have suggested, things are assigned by categories rather than specific recipes. For instance, you can ask someone to bring a cranberry type dish, but leave it to them if they want to bring traditional cranberry sauce or some kind of cranberry-chipotle chutney.

Another thing that you can make ahead is the gravy base (just add pan drippings at the last minute), and as the hostess the gravy probably should be part of your contribution.

One thing I have found is that (at least in my family) we always end up with LOTS of desserts, even though it is only assigned to one or two people. A lot of people just "throw in a pie" they have wanted to try or a cheesecake they couldn't resist picking up. I usually make something I can freeze if we don't need it, but that I can set out if by some chance the dessert spread looks a little skimpy. To date, skimpy has never been a problem!

If you start early and have a freezer, you will be fine. Have fun!

[Kathy B]

Never mind....just another BB "techinical problem"!

[mmbedard]

I agree with fellow posters - definitely assign dishes, and be specific. One of the first that I organized for our family of 30+, I told my two brothers to bring vegetable dishes and they both brought green salad! Now I specifiy to bring a vegetable dish, but not a salad or I tell them specifically to bring a green salad. Also, if there are any special dietary concerns, remind everyone of them.

Good luck.

[shscharles]

Another point of view...

We lived overseas for a very long time and Thanksgiving was always at my house with lots and lots of Expats. I did the turkey, gravy, stuffing and mashed potaoes. The assignment for guests was to "bring that, without which, it would not be Thanksgiving for you". Somehow it always worked out...we always had plenty of food, lots of variety, and great fun explaining to friends from other countries what this holiday was all about. Relax, enjoy, and remember that it's not about the food, it's about the family and friends. One year the stove broke down and we sent out for Turkish kebabs!

Have fun!

[mbrogier]

I do the Alton Brown brined turkey. It is easy, you can thaw a half thawed turkey and brine it at one time. It also makes a cheap grocery store turkey taste wonderful.

I have done the whole meal before. My family does not have a lot of great cooks. What I do for sure is dole out dishes according to culinary ability. If I know that one person won't cook and will just pick up the item(s) at the store, I have them get the items I don't care are storebought.

I definitely do things in advance so I don't do everything two hours before I'm ready to serve.

[Canice]

I used to work with a woman who did an "orphans" dinner for Thanksgiving - everyone was single and unable to get home for Thanksgiving. I didn't cook at the time but I was pretty surprised when she told me she assigned not only dishes but recipes. A couple of non-cooking people I mentioned it to said they thought it was very helpful. No way I would do that, though I would be sure to OFFER a recipe if anyone wanted. One of the nice things about Thanksgiving meals is that most of the dishes are -or can be- very simple and straightforward.

[peachesncream]

We rotate Thanksgiving in our family, and it's always a planned potluck. The host can do as little or as much as they want; some provide turkey and beverages and delegate the rest, while others do more.

Some ideas for hosting:

- Set the table(s) a day or two ahead of time. You can put a tablecloth over the dishes if you're worried about dust.

- Make your menu, and create a timeline. The timeline may go out a day or two, or even a week. Write down all the things you want to remember to buy or do ahead. I always feel calm if I have a timeline.

- Turkey can take a long time to cook, based on size; take this into consideration when choosing the dinner hour. Decide ahead of time whether you’re going to carve the turkey at the table (beautiful and dramatic) or in the kitchen (easier if there is a crowd). Decide who will do the carving (I’d pick someone experienced – watch how they do it; then next time, you’ll know how).

- Plan on 3/4 of a pound of turkey per person, 1 lb. if you want leftovers. It's better to have too much than too little (and turkey makes a great leftover).

- There are recipes for Make-ahead Mashed Potatoes, which can be done the day before and reheated in the oven, microwave or crockpot. Ditto for mashed sweet potatoes (cook and mash the day before; add topping, if any, right before baking).

- Turkey gravy can be done ahead - Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa of Food TV) has a recipe; she freezes hers.

- Keep decorations simple. The turkey is the star, so you don't need a lot of other stuff going on. If you use candles on the table, get unscented ones; you don't want scents competing with your dinner. (I often find nice things at Target!)

- Set aside a table for dessert. This gets the dessert out of the kitchen, frees up cooking space, and makes a pretty presentation. I use my entry table for desserts. I let guests serve themselves at dessert time.

- Don't forget to have on hand the little things - butter for rolls, whipped cream for pumpkin pie, etc. If there are little children, I always have ice cream in the freezer - some kids are not pie people!

[veschke]

I would farm out most appetizers but have something really simple (nuts or cheese?) and a drink ready when people arrive.

create a timeline. The timeline may go out a day or two, or even a week. Write down all the things you want to remember to buy or do ahead.

For me that is *the* most important thing! I'm not naturally well organized, but if I have a list of steps I can cross off so I always know what needs to be done next, then things stay under control. I also learned from experience to write down every single ingredient and *amounts* for everything I'm making, so I won't find that I didn't buy enough butter or something.

I'm sure your family will have a lot of fun!

[Kathy B]

Peachesncream,

What a nice assotment of tips you have offered. I am sure they will be very helpful for someone new at hosting.

As someone who has done it quite a few times, I love your idea of the desserts on an entryway table to do dual duty as a Thanksgiving decoration as well as getting them out of the kitchen! Thanks!

[Meganator]

Even if you aren't cooking all the dishes from scratch, a lot of people will be bringing things that need to be reheated in the oven. I have borrowed one of those portable ovens (what is the actual name?) - like a Nesco roaster - from someone for extra oven space for such occasions.

[Goin' Coastal]

[QUOTE=peachesncream]

- Turkey gravy can be done ahead - Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa of Food TV) has a recipe; she freezes hers.
QUOTE]


Anyone have this recipe? I wasn't happy with the one I used last year.

[Kathy B]

Even if you aren't cooking all the dishes from scratch, a lot of people will be bringing things that need to be reheated in the oven. I have borrowed one of those portable ovens (what is the actual name?) - like a Nesco roaster - from someone for extra oven space for such occasions.

Another idea would be to use one or more coolers. You can keep things WARM in them as well as cold.

You may want to have one cooler full of ICE on hand as well.

[ADM]

peachesncream: "Make your menu, and create a timeline. The timeline may go out a day or two, or even a week. Write down all the things you want to remember to buy or do ahead. I always feel calm if I have a timeline."

An excellent suggestion!

I also make a check-off timetable for the final countdown (for heating and final cooking of the dinner). That way you won't forget an important dish - as I did once or twice!

Just a made-up example, to give you the idea -

Casserole - 350 degrees, 1 hour
Dressing - 350 degrees, 30 minutes.
Gravy - stovetop, ? minutes
Corn - stove top, 10 minutes
Reheat rolls - 325 degrees, 5 minutes

[crispywafers]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their help and tips. It sounds like it comes down to alot of organization if you want to actually enjoy and not stress over Thanksgiving (when your hosting).

I've decided we would do the Turkey (gravy of course), stuffing, and the pie... and hand out the side/category (appetizers/snack food, mashed potatoes, green beans, dessert, etc.) and let them choose the recipe they wish --as suggested. It turns out between our two families we will actually have about 16 people.

It is funny - but we dont' even have enough dishes (or furniture!) to serve this many people - nor tablespace.. so we are beginning to wonder if we got selected a bit prematurly here! We just moved into our home last month and our getting married in April.

We will see if we can figure out how to host this many people - or perhaps just wave a white flag and cry we just aren't ready!

[cab321]

One more recommendation, if you're still out there. People have already suggested a last-minute-list of to-dos. I recommend you have a list of food that should be on the table when you sit down. I went through the trouble of making cranberry sauce my first year and left it in the fridge! If there are any older kids around they could be in charge of checking that all the food is out.

[brownie12]

Crispy wafers: There are great companies that rent everything from china to casual wineglasses and folding chairs. Another option is to ask someone to lend you these things in addition to or in lieu of food. when we have big groups like this, we set people up at every table in the house-breakfast room, dining room, card tables in the den with tablecloths on them, and that has worked well for us. It does give it a casual feel, which suits us well.

I remember a few years back, at the start of the remodel craze, there was an article in The Wall St. Journal talking about someone who had a dinner party and had tables set up in every room in her grand, newly-remodelled home. The author of the article had been seated in the master bathroom! No kidding! Every Thanksgiving/Christmas when we're setting up tables for all the family/friends to join us, I think of that and laugh.

(Although some years I wish I had put the kids table in there!)

[mrswaz]

These are all great suggestions. Peachesncream, I particularily LOVE the one about having a separate dessert area. I am already thinking about clearing a space in the living room for guests to choose their desserts as they wish.

Also, regarding guests bringing dishes, I am a major control freak. I usually like to do everything myself, and it has been hard to let it go. When I'm talking with a guest about what to bring, I usually say "I'm making this, this, and this- and so and so is making this, etc. What would you like to bring?" That way they can pick and choose.

[Kay Henderson]

You have received excellent advice. People always bring dishes to our family holiday dinners and many other occasions as well. I second having a list for the last few hours. (I post mine on the refrig.)

In terms of service, renting is a possibility. You could also ask some of your guests to bring extra. The world won't even fall apart if you use nice paper goods, purchased from a kitchen or party store.

At the last minute, some your guests will need to do last minute things with their contributions. Others (such as folks bringing dessert) will be available should you need help.

I have found several other things helpful in entertaining. I have a folder in my computer for documents relating to entertaining I have done.

I have a generic checklist, which I developed after hosting a birthday party. In this case, the party was large enough that I used paper goods and served buffet style, but some of the items also apply to a sit-down dinner for a smaller group. Here it is:

As of 6-15-05

Entertaining/Party Planning Checklist

Should have finished up to one to two months ahead

Determine guest list and send out invitations
(including MapQuest or own map may help those who don’t know location)


Should have finished up to one week ahead

Think through activities and/or games and make if necessary; buy prizes if using
Make menu or identify drinks if potluck
Make ahead any food which can be frozen
Order any purchased food (such as cake or appetizer trays)
Order balloons
Polish silver which will be used
Iron linens
Buy paper goods
Think through decorations if using; buy any items needed
Identify clothes will wear and make sure ready get ready
Identify helpers and arrange for them to come early

Should have finished the day ahead

Identify music to be played
Superficial spiff-up of yard
Food purchased
House cleaned or spiffed up (make sure plenty of TP!)
Prepare napkin-wrapped flatware
Make food which can be made ahead
Flowers for table and house
Signs for front door, and anything else necessary
Arrange for extra furniture if necessary
Make day-of-party checklist for refrig

Day of party

Pick up extra ice
Extend table
Arrange furniture
Prepare perishable foods
Put out food
When guests arrive who don’t know anyone, introduce them to someone
Put out basin for people to recycle plastic cutlery


I also do a "post-mortem" for holiday dinners, parties, affairs I've hosted for organizations, etc. Here is an example:

Christmas Dinner, 2004

Held at Venice house
Guests: Mom, John & Shirley, Dan, Gail & Clair, Mark & Donna

Menu:. Appetizers: munchies and dill dip (Shirley), toasts w/ salmon and cream cheese
First course: Green salad with fruit (Gail)
Second course: Boneless prime rib roast w/ reduced wine sauce, stuffed mushrooms, pan-roasted potatoes, green beans, rolls
Dessert: Chocolate cake (Mark & Donna), Marie Calendar pecan pie

Comments: Went very well. Boneless roast from Barkley Meat Company was delicious and easy to carve. (Used moderate heat method and wine reduction added to au jus.)

“Everyone bring one gift to exchange” also worked very well, as opening gifts is an enjoyable part of the festivities without being expensive or a hassle.

[heavy hedonist]

Speaking of cleaning out space, remember your fridge space-- it's a good idea to clean it out a week before the big deal, if not sooner, and get rid of the dead food. And start keeping smelly things, like prechopped onions & such in the crisper. No one wants milk, cream, or butter-for-baking to smell like roasted garlic, right?

[Jessica]

I did my first Thanksgiving dinner last year for small group (7-8) and I kept it very simple. It's better to do a few things and do them well. My DH and I made turkey, stuffing, a veggie of some kind and cherry cobbler. We then emailed guests and said they were welcome to bring any of their Thanksgiving favorites that were not on that list. We got a pumpkin pie, homemade bread, potatoes and squash. It was perfect.

I agree a timeline is very helpful, and a sense of humor never hurts. Most people are there for the company and a decent plate of turkey--it doesn't have to be perfect to be a great party.

[mbrogier]

Since you just moved into your house and your money is all tied up in all the costs of that, no one is expecting your dinner to look like the front cover of Martha Stewart Living. I had visions of grandeur the first time I hosted a family dinner, and it almost killed me. As soon as everyone left, I got so sick because of the exhaustion. It isn't worth it.

No one gives a flying flip if everything doesn't match. Have your friends bring their food in servable containers (gladware makes these wonderful black disposable containers that are heatproof, and theres always those foil containers) All the glassware doesn't have to match. As the years go by, you'll accumulate more servingware and glasses, and silverware. You can throw more sophisticated soirees then. You'll find that you and your friends still look fondly back to your first Thanksgiving...even if you forget the cranberry sauce or someone burnt the rolls.

This is my mantra: "I'm not Martha. I'm not Martha." (I would love to be Martha, but I'm not going to kill my husband who's trying desperately to help me and turn into the hostess from hell to make that happen. "

The one thing that I would buy is a probe thermometer. You can get it at Williams-Sonoma. It has a digital readout and a long metal rope like cord with a thermometer on the end that you stick into the thickest part of the meat. You put that in the turkey, close the door and the readout display stays on the outside. You program the thermometer to beep when the turkey reaches the desired temperature. You'll know for sure that your turkey is perfectly done, and you won't have to worry about the inside meat being half raw. I get mine at Williams-Sonoma because if it breaks, WS will give you a new one. (keep the box and the receipt.) --do not use on broil.

[crispywafers]

Since you just moved into your house and your money is all tied up in all the costs of that, no one is expecting your dinner to look like the front cover of Martha Stewart Living. I had visions of grandeur the first time I hosted a family dinner, and it almost killed me. As soon as everyone left, I got so sick because of the exhaustion. It isn't worth it.

I know.. I know.. that is what the hubby-to-be keeps saying... but I feel like.. first house... first time we are hosting anything for both families at the same time... it has to be perfect, everyone has to think the food is great, and everyone has to get along. ;o) However I am trying to make myself realize that we don't even have matching couches at this point... will they really care about the plates?

The one thing that I would buy is a probe thermometer.

That... I may just go out and get this weekend. Sounds terrific.

[veschke]

it has to be perfect

*No one* will care about the plates. :-) Having your special people there is what makes it a holiday, IMO, not how it looks. We hosted last year, less than a week after moving into our new apartment. My mother and in-laws helped us unpack! And we all had a wonderful time, and will never forget it. :-)