If I'm in a hurry, I cut the cream cheese into small cubes, then put the cubes on a plate and nuke them for a very short amount of time. Never had a problem with it being runny (or "funny").
You could also try putting it on the counter, then taking a metal bowl, rinsing it in hot water and drying it, then put the bowl upside down over the cream cheese -- that should also help speed things along.
Galinda didn't often stop to consider whether she believed in what she said or not; the whole point of conversation was flow. -- Gregory Maguire: Wicked
The only time a cold, blank stare is a correct response is when a stranger invites you to get better acquainted with his deity or the contents of his trousers.
----Miss Conduct, Boston Globe Magazine etiquette columnist