Oprah today? Anyone?

[ChristyMarie]

So I'm at home waiting for the plumber and Oprah's on. Today is celebrity chefs teaching people how to save money. Now I didn't catch the first couple but the second couple is spending a ton of cash on take out because the wife says "I don't have any skills and no one will eat what I make." Um...ok...

So they are spending $400 a week on take out. The meal they showed they spent $50 for the two of them. The chef showed them that they could go to the store and buy the ingredients for $17. They were amazed. Really? You're amazed that it is cheaper to go to the grocery store than order take out? Someone had to tell you that?

[KristiB]

I have a friend like that.

The saddest thing is she takes pride in the fact she "can't" cook like it's a badge of honor.

And she has a tricked out gourmet kitchen that would make anyone who cooks drool.

Thermador appliances are wasted on her. She does use her microwave and warming drawers though.

[SusanMac]

It does seem that the people with the fanciest kitchens are often not the ones who really want to use them!

I'd bet those same people spending $400/week on take out are ones who were tricked into mortgages they can't afford. Really.....I can't afford a house with 4 bathrooms and a 3-car garage?? I can't possibly figure out how to afford my mortgage!

[Laurielee]

Dh works with a guy, that both hhim and his wife eat take out every single night. I still can't fathom that. I keep forgetting to ask what they do for breakfast and lunch. Dh just says they dont cook.

[Jewel]

I have a friend like that too...$50k kitchen remodel and a double oven to die for, and I think the only time she's used both ovens at one time is to warm the Thanksgiving turkey and ham that she got from Albertsons when they bought the complete Thanksgiving dinner...

[hlao23]

From the website: Melissa says. "But when you have no skills and nobody will eat what you make, you don't have any choices."

I just don't understand the "can't" cook, "no skills" idea. Yes, some techniques take practice but a lot of cooking is just being able to read, measure and follow directions, isn't it? With some practice you also get better at finding recipes you know you'll like, I guess.

I didn't cook until after I got married the first time. I remember bringing copies of CL to work and asking people "Has anyone ever heard of 'cardamom'"

[Laurielee]

I just don't understand the "can't" cook, "no skills" idea.

This is what I don;t get either, I can understand if you are fearful of cooking from a recipe, measuring etc, but what kind of skill do you need to throw a piece of chicken/steak/pork chop in the oven/grill/stove, cook a box of rice/baked potato and then steam some green beans, carrots or broccoli. Is a person that overwhelmed they cant even do this and spend $50 a night of take out because the can't cook? Or that they just dread the cooking concept itself

[Robyn1007]

Originally Posted by Laurielee

This is what I don;t get either, I can understand if you are fearful of cooking from a recipe, measuring etc, but what kind of skill do you need to throw a piece of chicken/steak/pork chop in the oven/grill/stove, cook a box of rice/baked potato and then steam some green beans, carrots or broccoli. Is a person that overwhelmed they cant even do this and spend $50 a night of take out because the can't cook? Or that they just dread the cooking concept itself

See, I would think it would be more overwhelming to throw a piece of meat on the the grill/oven/stove and do the sides you stated without some sort of recipe than it would be to follow a recipe. Most people who know I cook a lot are more shocked when they know I rarely follow a recipe exactly. The idea of going outside a recipe frightens them.

But, I agree, either way, I don't understand the "can't cook" statement, especially with today's plethora of cooking based shows that give a visual representation of terms.

[FLFlygirl]

Not too long ago I was watching one of the cooking competition shows, maybe FN Challenge?, and they did a little bio on this gal who has won numerous cooking/recipe contests. The thing that struck me funny, was that they showed her cooking in her kitchen and it was a dinky little apartment kitchen with just very basic apartment grade appliances. And she still won all kinds of awards for all different types of food.

I don't cook as much as I would like, but I am hoping to get cooking again now that my schedule is settling down a bit.

I was never taught to cook, per se, but I remember picking up a F & W years ago and liking a recipe from Jacques Pepin, and I decided to try it. I was hooked ever after.

The first time I make a recipe, I follow it exactly. Then if I like it, I will modify it as needed. I am not as proficient as I'd like to be, simply because I don't get to cook as often as I'd like, but that doesn't stop me from trying when the mood strikes.

[Beth]

My sister is in the "Don't cook" camp. I think she could, but hers seems to be a choice. She will bake an occasional cake or pie.

My dad also has fallen into this camp -- brought on by my mom's Alzheimer's and his wanting to get her out of the house and stying more mentally active. However, going out and an obsession with eating cheap -- I'm not sure I'd want to see a nutritional analysis of his diet. My mom is getting a better balance since most of her meals are at the place she's living now.

[hlao23]

Originally Posted by Beth

My sister is in the "Don't cook" camp. I think she could, but hers seems to be a choice. She will bake an occasional cake or pie.

If she's not doing it from boxes or out of the freezer I think those are MUCH harder than most cooking.

[Wendy w]

Originally Posted by KristiB

I have a friend like that.

The saddest thing is she takes pride in the fact she "can't" cook like it's a badge of honor.

And she has a tricked out gourmet kitchen that would make anyone who cooks drool.

Thermador appliances are wasted on her. She does use her microwave and warming drawers though.

We must have the same friend. I have to laugh because I'm cooking in the ancient kitchen where my grandmother did.

[TKay]

Let me just throw this out there. My mom couldn't cook. I mean it. She did cook. But she was not good at it. I didn't realize that as a child, of course, but looking back now, I kind of cringe. My mother hated cooking and did so absolutely out of necessity. She was a 50s mom, and that's what they did. Also, she had to cook for nine people. You can imagine.

One of my favorite childhood stories revolves around my mom's pasta sauce. When we had spaghetti, your plate would have cooked noodles and an orange-colored sort of water seeping out from underneath. Sure, there'd be a little bit of tomatoey stuff on top. But mostly, it was a runny liquid, akin to colored water. When I ate at a friend's house, they used Prego, the jarred sauce. I have a distinct memory of thinking, "But it's so THICK. That's not spaghetti sauce." I didn't want to eat it.

Everything my mom cooked was bland, bland, bland. If this woman cooks like my mom did, her family probably would reject it. When we were kids, we never ate out. So we didn't know the difference. I'd imagine her family doesn't like what she makes and so chooses take-out. She sounds more than willing to go along.

[hlao23]

I suppose I'm not giving enough sympathy to the planning aspect of cooking either...especially if you're a beginner. I remember not having the spices, not having some pan I needed, etc.

I would also like it if the ingredients would just magically appear in my kitchen. I'm jealous of the people who like grocery shopping because I seriously don't.

[jellyben]

I can almost get behind grown people deciding to eat cr@p for every meal, but it gets my goat when people do it to their kids. I am thinking of a family in my 'hood where each kid will nuke their own dinner-maybe chicken nuggets, taquitos, ramen noodles. I think a big part of my job as mom is feeding my kids well and teaching them to make good choices. Sure, I fail sometimes, but I cannot imagine not even trying!

[MNGirlTX]

Originally Posted by TKay

Let me just throw this out there. My mom couldn't cook. I mean it. She did cook. But she was not good at it. I didn't realize that as a child, of course, but looking back now, I kind of cringe. My mother hated cooking and did so absolutely out of necessity. She was a 50s mom, and that's what they did. Also, she had to cook for nine people. You can imagine.

One of my favorite childhood stories revolves around my mom's pasta sauce. When we had spaghetti, your plate would have cooked noodles and an orange-colored sort of water seeping out from underneath. Sure, there'd be a little bit of tomatoey stuff on top. But mostly, it was a runny liquid, akin to colored water. When I ate at a friend's house, they used Prego, the jarred sauce. I have a distinct memory of thinking, "But it's so THICK. That's not spaghetti sauce." I didn't want to eat it.

Everything my mom cooked was bland, bland, bland. If this woman cooks like my mom did, her family probably would reject it. When we were kids, we never ate out. So we didn't know the difference. I'd imagine her family doesn't like what she makes and so chooses take-out. She sounds more than willing to go along.

This is my mom. She doesn't like to cook. So, she's not very good at it. When my sister and I visit, we either go out to eat or the 2 of us cook. And, my mom is OBSESSED with food, so I'm surprised she doesn't like to cook. But, she sure does like to eat other people's cooking.

I think I was 24 before I learned that pork chops don't have to be cooked to the consistency of a hockey puck...

[SDMomChef]

Originally Posted by jellyben

I can almost get behind grown people deciding to eat cr@p for every meal, but it gets my goat when people do it to their kids. I am thinking of a family in my 'hood where each kid will nuke their own dinner-maybe chicken nuggets, taquitos, ramen noodles. I think a big part of my job as mom is feeding my kids well and teaching them to make good choices. Sure, I fail sometimes, but I cannot imagine not even trying!

I don't know that family's situation, but let me offer a different perspective. My twin boys were born at 5 pounds. At 1 year, they were at 18 pounds. At year 2 they still were under 30 pounds. They never have consumed much food and so we constantly were trying to strike a balance between food that was nutritious and food that could help bulk them up. So, we would balance chicken nuggets with broccoli and cheese sauce and giving them whole milk, and DH & I would eat another protein with the broccoli and drink skim milk.

Now that they are 10, they like to help me cook and we eat the same things. However, for their first 4-5 years of life, they were often eating unhealthier and fattier foods than we were. I may be making a lot of people cringe - but when your kids don't each much and are scrawny, you can get vitamins and minerals from tablets, but fat? We did what worked for us.

[SueK]

Originally Posted by TKay

Let me just throw this out there. My mom couldn't cook. I mean it. She did cook. But she was not good at it. I didn't realize that as a child, of course, but looking back now, I kind of cringe. My mother hated cooking and did so absolutely out of necessity. She was a 50s mom, and that's what they did. Also, she had to cook for nine people. You can imagine.

Everything my mom cooked was bland, bland, bland. If this woman cooks like my mom did, her family probably would reject it. When we were kids, we never ate out. So we didn't know the difference. I'd imagine her family doesn't like what she makes and so chooses take-out. She sounds more than willing to go along.

Sounds like my mom. She will readily admit she is not a good cook. To this day I want to gag when I hear "Chow Mein" because we used to eat that gloppy, disgusting stuff from a can. I remember the first time I went to an authentic Chinese restaurant and was blown away. "So *this* is what Chinese food really tastes like?" I thought to myself.

Her cooking actually made me want to learn how to cook well. When my first child started eating actual food I decided I needed to learn how to cook healthy meals for my family and set a good example for her. I definitely had a learning curve at first, but it's been a fun journey. And my kids help out, too, and also help me do the meal planning for the week.

I guess my point is that hopefully kids coming from the kind of family that eats out constantly might end up getting sick of it and wanting to learn to cook. But in this day and age, maybe I'm being too optimistic.

[ChristyMarie]

I don't think any of us are talking of the super picky early toddler/childhood years where all you want to do is get SOME food in the child, no matter what it is!

But as they get older, and most certainly 2 adults, should be able to feed themselves and realize that it is MORE expensive to eat out than go to the grocery store.

And what about the health of all take out?

[jellyben]

Originally Posted by SDMomChef

I don't know that family's situation, but let me offer a different perspective. My twin boys were born at 5 pounds. At 1 year, they were at 18 pounds. At year 2 they still were under 30 pounds. They never have consumed much food and so we constantly were trying to strike a balance between food that was nutritious and food that could help bulk them up. So, we would balance chicken nuggets with broccoli and cheese sauce and giving them whole milk, and DH & I would eat another protein with the broccoli and drink skim milk.

Now that they are 10, they like to help me cook and we eat the same things. However, for their first 4-5 years of life, they were often eating unhealthier and fattier foods than we were. I may be making a lot of people cringe - but when your kids don't each much and are scrawny, you can get vitamins and minerals from tablets, but fat? We did what worked for us.

The family I am talking about has none of the health concerns you did! It is just a lifestyle choice. I didn't mean to come off as sanctimonious, I just think we are doing our kids a disservice if we don't or won't feed them balanced meals. Like you did-you balanced the fattier foods with veggies.

[SDMomChef]

Originally Posted by jellyben

The family I am talking about has none of the health concerns you did! It is just a lifestyle choice. I didn't mean to come off as sanctimonious, I just think we are doing our kids a disservice if we don't or won't feed them balanced meals. Like you did-you balanced the fattier foods with veggies.

I just felt so guilty when I would be putting frozen chicken nugget bags and hot dogs in my grocery cart with the boys along because I never thought that I would be a mom that would feed that stuff to my kids. So that experience made me realize that sometimes things aren't what they seem.

Definitely - pure life style choice is a different story - and much more expensive in the long run too!

[aggie94]

FWIW, there have been periods in recent years where I simply did not have time to cook. I can count on one hand the number of meals I have cooked in the last 6-8 months. Seriously. So yeah, I can completely relate to the getting-fast-food-or-other-takeout-or-going-out-to-eat for nearly every meal (lunches and dinner). It was not usually 7 days a week, as we would often order a pizza and eat off that for a few days, or some nights DH would eat cereal for dinner, I would eat ramen noodles from a package, etc.

Of course I know it's more expensive than going grocery shopping and cooking, and of course I know it's not healthy, although I would certainly try to make the best of the situation (an Arby's roast beef sandwich for dinner instead of a Big Mac meal from McDonald's that came with fries and soda, etc.; a soup and salad from the deli at my office building for lunch instead of going out to a restaurant). The last thing I had time for was to make a list, plan a menu, go grocery shopping, and then cook meals. So sometimes you do what you gotta do. Was it my first choice? Of course not. But yeah, I've been there (too often and too recently), and I *totally* get it. I realize that's not the same situation the OP raises, but there may be many many reasons people make the choices they do.

[Litehouse9]

In an ideal world, we would all be fabulous cooks who could make do with whatever fresh, local ingredients there were around and would make healthy meals all the time.

I try, but also I had some difficulties that at times caused me to get take out, or give my sons McDonalds take out.

I have somewhat severe arthritis-- spinal arthritis so that standing up causes back pain; arthritis of hands, elbows, fingers, etc. Somedays are worse than others, Plus I was an "older Mom" when I had my two sons-- so that when I also worked outside the home, I sometimes did not have the energy to go the store and get healthy ingredients and cook them. I was plum exhausted! And yes, knowing that healthy food is important-- I also felt that spending the little bit of energy I had left with them, playing games, enjoying them, etcx. was more important than hauling down to the market for fresh veggies.

There are nights I make tofu/bok choy fresh stir fry with streamed brown rice. Or steamed Tilapia and sauteed Brocolli. Other nights when I have to work alot and the arthritis is acting up---- we get McDonalds.

I guess we do the best we all can on a daily basis. Now that my sons are teens, they are aware of "heatlhy eating" and I am teaching them to cook (healthy things!).

I did grow up with a Mom who felt that cooking was opening a can of Campbell's Cream of something; frying some fatty meat (and not draining it), and plopping lots of butter over veggies steamed into oblivion until they were unrecognizable mush.

I think my sons do appreciate and do understand healthy foods and eating. I am glad to see that younger generations seem to have way more awareness of healthy eating that I grew up with.

[Ann1965]

My son, 14, just spent a week at the University of South Carolina at camp. He called me the 2nd day and said that out of the 4 meals he'd had so far, 3 of them were hamburgers. They had burgers every day except one when they had chicken fingers. The last night he called me to tell me he was starving and wanted meat and vegetables! I couldn't believe the University didn't offer a healthier menu. I also have a friend who caught her kitchen on fire cooking canned green beans on Christmas Day. Now, 7 months and a brand new kitchen complete with convection oven, she has managed to heat up a frozen pizza. What a waste! Oh, and the funny part is, her husband is a fireman for a large city!

[SusanMac]

I totally get people who don't enjoy cooking (esp knowing that grocery shopping & cleaning up are part of the proces). And I can totally relate to not having time. But the "I can't cook" thing is quite odd.

For many years I said, it's not that I'm a good cook, I'm just good at following directions! It's true. Good recipe = good cook. I finally give myself full credit now :-) It used to scare DH when I'd tell him that I changed a recipe or didn't follow it exactly (he's clearly not a cook). He trusts me now....plus I learned to just stopping telling him!

I love hearing all the different stories! I, too, was 22 y.o. b4 I knew that pasta and Chinese food can actually be made by normal people, instead of just opening a box.

[Meganator]

Originally Posted by SusanMac

I love hearing all the different stories! I, too, was 22 y.o. b4 I knew that pasta and Chinese food can actually be made by normal people, instead of just opening a box.

Behind me in the grocery line the other day was a 20-something guy who was buying about 8 boxes of Marie Callendar's spaghetti dinners (the kind that look lik they would serve more than one person). I couldn't figure out if he was serving a crowd, or if he just liked to eat a lot of spaghetti. I understand being nervous about trying to cook, but, honestly, boiling up some spaghetti and opening a can of Prego is about as easy as it gets. When I was young and single, I ate spaghetti all the time - I didn't even have a big pot, I just boiled water in a skillet.

[Valerie226]

another similar program yesterday .. caught a bit of it while I was exercising. the amount of money these people were spending on frozen dinners and take out food, delivered yet, was staggering.
These seemed like reasonably intelligent, apparently successful people who needed to have their eyes opened with personal attention from a celebrity chef. I find it hard to believe, with all the cooking info in newspapers, magazines, online, plus friends and family that it took hours with a personal chef to realize that you can make things yourself out of the supermarket, and it's not hard.
geez, we don't expect them to churn their own butter. I kept thinking, no one could possibly be this dumb.... maybe it's a TV gimmick to make viewers feel superior and get ratings?

[Canice]

Originally Posted by Litehouse9

In an ideal world, we would all be fabulous cooks who could make do with whatever fresh, local ingredients there were around and would make healthy meals all the time.

I don't see that suggested anywhere in this conversation; I think that, particularly with this being a cooking forum, it's surprising and disappointing to a lot of people that so many folks choose expensive takeout rather than learn to put together a simple meal.
Between the cost and the health issues, and basic life skills, it seems reasonable to me that every adult should be able to put a basic meal on the table. Not a perfect meal 7 nights a week, but be able to put a basic meal on the table. I used to be surprised at the people, usually women, who wore their inability to do so like it was a badge of honor. Almost as if it were a kind of independence. But what kind of independence is it if you can't feed yourself?

Maybe that's why one of my favorite blogs is Foodie at Fifteen

[ChristyMarie]

Originally Posted by Valerie226

I kept thinking, no one could possibly be this dumb.... maybe it's a TV gimmick to make viewers feel superior and get ratings?

Ah....if only that were the truth behind these stories. Unfortunately I think people are really just that dumb.

[Valerie226]

I only saw part of the program on thursday but nobody seemed dumb. (maybe the program the day before dumbness was on display) Everyone lived in a nice well appointed homes, dressed well, attractive, had what appeared to be bright happy children. I don't see how 'dumb" lets you achieve those things.

All seemed genuinely surprised at how much money they could save, and how easy it was to construct a few simple meals. I don't know how stressed financially these people were, but everyone was pleased at the money they'd save by cooking instead of frozen dinners or take out. even breakfast! a 5 year old can put cereal and milk in a bowl or make toast. apparently no one was so wealthy that it didn't matter. Are they dumb like foxes and end up getting a lot of attention and TV time by doing this act? .