How are you? I'm....?

[tbb113]

When some asks you that as a courtsey question, how do you respond?

Okay, it was supposed to be a poll, but I failed!

Fine?
Good?
Okay?
Super?
Not too bad?
Doing well?
Wonderful?
Other?

I usually say "just fine"

[leightx]

Good! How 'bout yourself?

[kaygee1]

Ha, it actually depends who's asking & my mood as well, actually. If it's someone I don't necessarily care for, or say someone who talks A LOT & I don't have time, or wanna make time, I say "Good" & move along. If it's someone that I like, I'll say, "I'm well, how are you?" Sometimes I just smile & say "hello" or if it's someone Asian, I'll say "Herro".
But I think it all depends on my mood.

Edit: I also do ask how they're doing even if I don't care for them.

[oceanjasper]

I say "Good. Thanks!" I rarely add an "And you?" because, most of the time, I don't think the person asking really cares that much about how I am really feeling, but just wants to make some kind of friendly acknowledgement of my existence.

[KristaMB]

Originally Posted by kaygee1

Sometimes I just smile & say "hello" or if it's someone Asian, I'll say "Herro".
But I think it all depends on my mood.

Wow.

[Gecko]

I usually say fine but I remember that my grandfather used to always answer "any better and I'd be dangerous"

[Canice]

Originally Posted by kaygee1

Sometimes I just smile & say "hello" or if it's someone Asian, I'll say "Herro".
But I think it all depends on my mood.

Originally Posted by KristaMB

Wow.

I'm guessing that kaygee, being of Vietnamese parentage, is being ironic. Not that I speak for her .

I know it's perfunctory, and not a big deal, but I hate when someone passes me in a hallway and asks "How ARE you?" but has passed me before there's even an opportunity to respond. I think "Hello" or "Good morning" is better. But if I have to respond, it's with a wan smile and a "Great, thanks."

[Melman]

Originally Posted by leightx

Good! How 'bout yourself?

That's pretty close to my typical response.

I have a tag-on question. How do you answer the twist on that question, "How's it going?" or the very silly "What's up?" I guess I think that last one is silly, because I honestly don't know how to answer it. Yes, I hear it fairly often.

[Kathy B]

How are you?
Fine

How's it going?
Good OR great.

What's up?
Not much. (Usually a lie, but I know they will ask if they really want more details.)

[KristiB]

Originally Posted by KristaMB

Wow.

Originally Posted by Canice

I'm guessing that kaygee, being of Vietnamese parentage, is being ironic. Not that I speak for her .

That's what I thought.

I usually just say, "fine and you?"

[Shugness]

I've never paid attention - I guess my standard without thinking answer is "I'm alright" or "well, and how are you?". It really depends on who is asking too, though. Certain people I feel comfortable around I will drop random one liners, first thought that pops in my head - "I'm ready for lunch!", "I need a nap!", "Glad it's Payday!", "Ready for 5pm to get here" - etc.

I used to get a big kick out this particular lady that would come into the bank I worked at when I first moved to NC. When asked "How are you today?" she'd always reply the same thing "Good, and I *hope* you are too." I always took that to mean "Good, and I hope you are too, but if you're not please don't bother me with it".

[ADM]

Since it is a rhetorical question my standard answers are; Fine! or Good!

When one has been really sick the questions are asked either because of real concern or morbid curiosity. Fine! and Good! work here too, because I'm pretty sure the questioners don't really want to know the nitty-gritty details of the illness.

[generic]

My response definitely depends on how I feel and who is asking. If I think the person will appreciate it, I like to use one of George Carlin's more creative answers such as, "Moderately groovy, how are you?"

Over the past few years I've come to dread the "how are you?" because I have serious chronic pain and I usually have to lie when people ask how I'm doing. Mostly I say, "Alright, thanks, how are you?" It's somewhere between a lie and the truth, and people don't really want to know, do they?

Originally Posted by Canice

I know it's perfunctory, and not a big deal, but I hate when someone passes me in a hallway and asks "How ARE you?" but has passed me before there's even an opportunity to respond. I think "Hello" or "Good morning" is better. But if I have to respond, it's with a wan smile and a "Great, thanks."

I've always wondered if these people realize that using an insincere question as a greeting sends the wrong message. I kinda doubt they do.

[jellyben]

This came up over the weekend. Some friends and I were remembering an old neighbor-when you gave her the standard 'how are you?' you got a running commentary of everything going wrong in her life.'Well, I have diarrhea and John forgot to take out the trash before he went to work and I'm out of milk', all said in a lovely whine!

I go with a standard 'fine' because I figure the person asking doesn't really care how I'm doing!

[sneezles]

Mine is "I'm doing well thanks. How are you?" Cause really nobody wants to hear your woes, do they?

[Shugness]

Originally Posted by sneezles

Mine is "I'm doing well thanks. How are you?" Cause really nobody wants to hear your woes, do they?

That's what I find interesting about this thread....people don't really care how you're doing, and people always say fine even if their not....so why do people keep asking?

I agree with what I think Candice said in an earlier post about how it irks her when people ask as their passing you and they don't slow down to hear your response, or give you an opportunity to return the "and how are you?".

But I also agree with Sneezles, in the respect that when asked some people tend to view it as an opportunity to b*t*h and moan about every little thing in their life, and ultimately just making the person who asked feel drug down, depressed and burdened with someone elses problems.

Just interesting points, no real answer to any of this as far as what response is the best. It'd be nice if someone could just be honest but not overwhelm you with it - for example, "I haven't been feeling 100% but I'm getting better, thanks for asking".

[pilgrim719]

Originally Posted by sneezles

Mine is "I'm doing well thanks. How are you?" Cause really nobody wants to hear your woes, do they?

In passing, no, I think most people don't want to hear our woes anymore than we want to hear theirs...but don't you love the people who launch into a long-winded response about everything going on in their life, when all you said was a quick "Hi-how-ya-doin" on your way to the bathroom at work? I'm generally a nice person, but when I've gotta pee, I don't have time to be patient and polite.

Kari

[hlao23]

Originally Posted by Melman

I have a tag-on question. How do you answer the twist on that question, "How's it going?" or the very silly "What's up?" I guess I think that last one is silly, because I honestly don't know how to answer it. Yes, I hear it fairly often.

We had a couple of exchange students ask us how to respond to "What's up?" I'm too old to know so I asked one of my classes which was made up mostly of first-year pharmacy students. They told me that you could reply:
What's up (yes just repeat what the other person said)
Not much
Nada
Chillin'
Hey

The words don't seem to really mean anything. It's just an acknowledgement.

[LakeMartinGal]

Around here, the question is, "you doin' ok today?" to which the answer is "yep, you?" I like it, because they tell you what they want to hear!

[SusanMac]

I don't mind 'what's up' at all. But, my pet peeve is 'whatcha doing?'

When I call my manager that's his greeting, & I don't know how to answer! Literally, I'm calling you & that's kind of obvious. But, more importantly, I feel like I should give a super productive answer b/c he's my manager. (in a social situation, you'd probably say 'not much') It used to always catch me off guard until I finally got used to it!

When someone asks "how are you?" my response is almost always "great, thanks." (assuming I am great that day :-)

[pilgrim719]

Originally Posted by SusanMac

I don't mind 'what's up' at all. But, my pet peeve is 'whatcha doing?'

My grandfather used to always ask "Whatcha buildin'? As a child, I found this very confusing and somewhat stressful. I had not yet developed the level of wit needed to appropriately respond to such a greeting.

Kari

[Canice]

Originally Posted by LakeMartinGal

Around here, the question is, "you doin' ok today?" to which the answer is "yep, you?" I like it, because they tell you what they want to hear!

Interesting. There's an elderly gentleman checker at a local grocery store who always greets customers with "Doin' all right today?" and I think he's from the South. I've never noticed anyone else use that as a greeting.

[LakeMartinGal]

Originally Posted by Canice

Interesting. There's an elderly gentleman checker at a local grocery store who always greets customers with "Doin' all right today?" and I think he's from the South. I've never noticed anyone else use that as a greeting.

I do think it must be a southern thing. It really puzzled me at first, when I was doing mystery shopping, and had to say how I was greeted by the sales person. I'm used to it, now!

[Terri_A]

Originally Posted by sneezles

Mine is "I'm doing well thanks. How are you?" Cause really nobody wants to hear your woes, do they?

That is verbatim what I respond as well.

[Blissful_in_TX]

Originally Posted by generic

My response definitely depends on how I feel and who is asking. If I think the person will appreciate it, I like to use one of George Carlin's more creative answers such as, "Moderately groovy, how are you?"

That's so funny b/c the first thing I thought of was how I'm never "fine and dandy" as George would say. I've started using one of his well wishes when I can fit it in .....May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house!

I always say: "Good. Thanks, and you?"

[generic]

Originally Posted by Blissful_in_TX

That's so funny b/c the first thing I thought of was how I'm never "fine and dandy" as George would say. I've started using one of his well wishes when I can fit it in .....May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house!

Good one! Siiiiigggghh...I miss George. One of the only celebrities I really mourn for.

[Litehouse9]

Of course people don't really want to know how you are... it is just an automatic greeting.

Sometimes when I am asked I answer "Better". That throws people. They sort of stop and maybe ignore it, or ask "Better than what?"

At which point I can be funny or silly or whatever and answer things like "better now that you've served me that coffee"; of "better than I was on Monday", or "Better now that I am a seasoned citizen", or any number of things......

[kaygee1]

Originally Posted by KristiB

That's what I thought.

I usually just say, "fine and you?"

Yes, it was just a joke. I wasn't about to pull the Debbie from NFNS thing on every thread just so people would know?! Ha!

[Canice]

What? Wait! You're VIETNAMESE? Get out! Just teasing of course Love the Debbie analogy.

[Romandub]

My mother in law used to say "remember that how are you is a greeting, not a question." So I always respond with "I'm good! how are you?" And go about my merry way.