Fall Toddler Thread

[ellery]

Urgh. I just typed a whole long post and magically erased myself. Urgh!

Anyway, just looking for a check in from the toddler moms.

Things are going well here. Danny's 2 1/2 going on 17 and so far still a lot of fun. I'm especially enjoying being able to use his independent streak to my benefit - if he doesn't want to do something he's been asked to do, I say, oh well, mommy'll do it. Sure enough, "I do it!!!" and he comes running, because God forbid his abilities be questioned and mom has to do something for him.

What's everyone doing about sleeping arrangements? Danny's still in the crib and seems quite happy there. Opinionated coworker seems to feel that I absolutely should start transitioning him to a toddler bed, and I'm not sure about that. We've got some big changes coming up in the next 6 months (one of which should *knocking on wood* include moving into an *actual* house) and I hate to throw lots of changes at him all in a short period of time and watch him implode. I don't see any signs at all that he wants out of the crib, no trying to get out, etc. He certainly could if he wanted to, and will throw his leg over the side sometimes just to mess with me, but he plays quite happily in there in the mornings and evenings when he's awake.

Other than that, we're still battling with the pickiest eater on the planet (dad being a close 2nd). I was lurking on a thread not too long ago about people catering to their kids' tastes and it made me feel like a bad mom who's brought this on herself. So kinda feeling disheartened about it at this stage. He gets a vitamin and his Ensure and is healthy and happy and active... sigh...

Anyway, I'd love to hear what everyone else has been up to.

Leah

[PoppyJ]

Leah,

Avery (2 1/2 years) is still in her crib and, as far as I am concerned, she can stay in there until she leaves for college. I am praying that Avery stays in there for a long, long time. I know that when she moves to a toddler bed, naps and bedtimes are going to be a big battle and I want to delay that as long as possible.

About eating, Avery is becoming more and more picky. I have tried the "here is dinner, now eat it" and she refuses to eat it. I then pay for it when she wakes up at 3:00AM starving. I try to do what I think is the best for her and take heart that she is healthy and happy.

[LA98]

Well, I haven't posted here in a loooong time. Hopefully, later is still better than never?

Hi Leah and Poppy! Poppy, I'm cracking up about Avery staying in her crib until college! Jason is still happily sleeping in his and I've been saying I'm going to keep him there till he's 5. He's not trying to climb out of it, and he's sleeping and napping well these days so I don't want to change a thing (which is why he still has his binky too )

Leah, good luck with the house! I know what you mean about changes; we may have a huge one soon as I may be going back to full-time work shortly. Being a SAHM (well, actually a WAHM!) for the past 2.5 years has been an absolute dream-come-true for me, and I have loved every single second of it (yes, even on the days that totally sucked). It's going to break my heart in a billion pieces -- I've never been away from Jason for more than 2-3 hours! I worry for him adjusting to the new routine and being away from me. And I am so not looking forward again to the constant juggling, rushing back and forth (which will now be to Brian's school, Jason's daycare, and then work), having to ask for time off when someone is sick, etc. Plus of course learning a new job! Ugh, ugh, ugh. But we need to do what we need to do...

Anyway! Jason will be 2 1/2 next week. We finished up with the Early Intervention speech therapy about a month ago. In April when we started he had about 8 single, very simple words; his vocabulary is now enormous, and he's putting together long sentences. Now that he's got words, I thought the tantrums would subside, but we've decided the boy's just got a serious temper! Thankfully he doesn't hit his head like he used to, but he's not above hitting or pinching (I've been working on that with him with not much success yet). Makes me worry about him in daycare! Other than that, he's just so adorable and sweet and loving these days. Lately I'm getting a lot of leg hugs and "Mommy, me love you"s. So, so cute.

Oh, as for eating, he's certainly pickier than he used to be, and some days his eating is just atrocious, but overall he's still eating a pretty good variety of food. Tonight he begged me for strawberries right before bedtime, and all summer long both boys picked green beans right off the vine in our little garden for snacks when we were playing outside. So I won't complain. The 6-year-old, however, is making packing a lunch every day for school an *enormous* challenge for me!

Lori

[TLee4]

I'll check in too!
John-Paul was 2 in Aug and he is still in his crib. I know that he *could* climb out of it but for the most part he doesn't try. He is a great sleeper and I dread the day of the toddler bed too. Joey started vaulting out of his crib at 2 yrs and 4 mos, which is when he went into the toddler bed. Like everyone else, I will keep the crib for as long as it is safe!!

The eating thing is driving me nuts too. My kids like all of the typical kid crap and pretty much nothing else. My latest strategy is to put a plate of dinner in front of them (a meat, carb and veggie) and then I usually put something that I know they will eat (string cheese, grapes, etc). And then they eat the stuff I know they'll eat and they don't even touch the rest. And then I throw it away. But I'm hoping eventually they'll start eating it!! I know that part of the problem is that they drink too many of their calories which is a big no-no. JP loves his milk and Joey drinks too much juice. So I'm working on that too..sigh.

Thanks for starting the thread, Leah.

Terri

[ellery]

I can't believe it's halfway through October already. Eek. I really need to start thinking (more seriously) about a Halloween costume. I'm not sure that we can top Danny's Elvis costume from last year - baby blue, with sequins, big belt, bell bottoms. It was awesome.

Thanks for all the feedback on eating and staying in the crib. I have "mommy guilt" going strong here lately for some reason. (urgh)

Lori, when do you start your new job? It was really hard for me to have to leave Danny with someone else when I went back to work (and I only had 4 months at home with him) but it helped to feel like he was in good hands. And then he started preferring staying there to coming home in the afternoons, little stinker.

Terri - yeah, the drinking thing is Danny's issue too. If he had his way he would drink 100% of his calories each day. I have no idea what that's about, unless he views it as the fastest way to fill his belly so he can get back to playing.

Poppy, maybe Avery and Danny can have support group meetings in college, as they discuss what it's finally like to get out of the crib?

So I have a playdate/kids' friends question. Danny had a "best friend" that was in his class at daycare. Similar temperaments, they always played together, very cute. I like this kid's parents, etc. So they pulled their son (B.) out of Danny's school to go to another school (the one that it's sort of a status symbol to go to around here ). On his last day they assured me the boys would still get together, we'd still see each other, etc. We'd had one playdate together before they pulled him out, initiated by me. Two weeks after he left the school, we had another playdate, again initiated by me. I've seen this kid's mom once since that last playdate when she randomly brought B. by to visit Danny's school and she said something to the effect of yeah, we'll need to get together again soon. But I haven't heard anything from her. And I can't read her at all. She's very nice and says all the right things, but I have no idea if it's real or just polite. They have another older son who is involved in baseball, so they have games on Saturdays, but our last playdate was scheduled so that the little guys played in the morning and B's family went to the game in the afternoon (we went our separate ways at lunchtime).

So here's the question. Do kids' friendships work like big people friendships or are the rules different? With these parents I feel like I'm the only one making any effort, and if I was looking just for a friend for myself, I'd take the hint and give up already. They're nice and all, but maybe they already have enough friends and aren't really interested in cultivating Danny and B's friendship. Or do I cut them extra slack because maybe they're busy with the older kid's games? I'm very sensitive about inserting myself, or trying to insert myself somewhere that I'm not wanted, so I'm just not sure whether I should keep trying or give up. Danny continues to ask about B. sometimes (where is he? can we go to his house?) so I feel bad about this. He doesn't have any other little friends outside of school, we don't live in an actual neighborhood with full time residents (tourist town), and I feel bad for him. He doesn't seem bothered at all (mommy is still his favorite playmate ) but he likes other kids, likes to play with other kids, and I feel like I need to at least try to give him opportunities on the weekends to be around someone else besides his mom and dad.

Sorry to ramble, just wanted to lay out the background.

Any thoughts?

Thanks.

Leah

[Kerri]

Hi Leah - It is funny that you bring this up and I just wanted to respond as a parent with an older child. I am realizing that my youngest son (16 months) doesn't really have any of his own friends. He just tags along with my older son's friends (3 years old). I am also a SAHM and playdates don't happen unless they are regularly scheduled. Maybe attempt to do that the first saturday of the month...or a McDonald's dinner after day care once a week. At this point, I wouldn't worry too much about it, but I could be way off.

I don't want to scare anyone, but after fighting the good fight for 2 LONG months, I have given up on James's nap. He just turned three. I am so sad. I do attempt to give him an hour of quiet time, but it turns into trashing his room/jumping off his bed/multiple trips to the bathroom and to get other stuff that does not end up being the break that I, I mean, he, needs. The good news is that he goes to bed pretty early (7:30-8) and now stays in his room until 6:30 in the morning. Really, it doesn't seem like he is getting enough sleep, but I don't know of any way to get him to sleep more.

As for my younger toddler, I am enjoying watching him walk and explorer. So fun. He is a climber/gate keeper. I don't really support either hobby, but what can you do. He has been very vocal about what he does and does not want. Um, without talking...he isn't doing that yet. If he does not get his way, he gets down on all 4's and starts banging his head on the floor. Then he gets upset because it hurts. Why does he do that? I just need to clean up some room in my dining room to set up his pack and play like Terri suggested. At least then he could not hurt himself!

[NewMrsG]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd bump this up so that I could talk about my kid

How is everyone doing?

Leah - I do think it works differently for kids' friendships - to an extent. I know that I feel overwhelmed just trying to fit everything in and sometimes the last thing I think about is getting Macy with a friend for a playdate. It probably has something to do with the fact that she's in daycare 4 days a week, so gets a lot of social interaction then and it feels like less of a priority other times. When other parents ask about a playdate I'm (usually) glad to do it, but it's not always something I'm thinking about initiating. And I do think that having another child just adds to the list of things to do.

It does also seem like kids' sports take up whole weekends sometimes too.

So I wonder if that's part of it? I don't know what advice to give you other than maybe to let her know that she could call anytime she wants to get the kids together. Or continue to set something up if it doesn't bother you.

Eating: Macy has on days and off days. She's a funny kid, though. The other night we told her that she couldn't have any more brussels sprouts until she ate some of her pasta . We always put the food in front of her, making sure that there's at least one thing she reliably likes. But she has to try at least a bite of everything before she can get more of what she wants. We sometimes adapt what we're having a bit (for instance, she doesn't have to have the sauce on her pasta) but I just make one meal.

I noticed a couple of weeks ago that Macy's eyes are slightly misaligned. Nothing dramatic and not constant, but enough that I made an appt with a pediatric opthamologist to have it checked out. I'll be glad when that's checked out and they tell me it's nothing serious.

I have to say that she's been phenomanal with the new baby (born 9/11). Very maternal and sweet, even when he's screaming. The biggest challenge is getting her to wash her hands any time she wants to touch him, and keeping her out of his face when she has a cold, which is of course constant lately. It's tough because she's being sweet, but then feels punished when I pull her back.

We all got H1N1 vaccines earlier this week. I'm hoping the second shot/nasal will be available when she needs it in a month. Several of our friends now or have had it in recent weeks, and it's pretty scary. The good thing about having a newborn is that we're a priority family.

Any thoughts about what you're planning for holiday gifts? We're planning to cut back this year, but we're going to buy a Wii for a family gift. I don't know much about it - are there games (or whatever they're called) for toddlers? Any other gift ideas?