What would your "Thanksgiving Rules" be?

[testkitchen45]

Didn't want to hijack the very funny "Helen Philpot's Thanksgiving Rules" thread, but it occurred to me that maybe several on the CLBB would just love to have a similar list? Philpot thread here, BTW: http://community.cookinglight.com/sh...d.php?t=131167

I'm giving mine a little thought b4 posting; it's rather fun. What would you put on your list?

[Cinnamon Crazy]

I have three so far, but I think these are my important three. Normally, I am not so picky.

1. Please be on time. Just because you have small children doesn’t give you the excuse to be 2 hours late.

2. No arguments before, during or after dinner. And if there are any simmering arguments, suck it up. My sister and I have cooked for hours for all of you. You can do us a favor and pretend to like each other for an hour.

3. If you asked to bring something and I said, please don’t bother…I really mean it. Please do not bring your $5.00, fake frosting, cheap supermarket cake as a contribution. No one likes it. And then you insist on leaving the left over cake (90% of it remaining), thinking that you are doing me a favor. Two years in a row, I’ve had to toss it.

[HejazSunKat]

In my head I'm ending all of these with: ...or I will have to kill you.

If you have a weird work schedule (like nights/weekends or holidays) and you expect/get me to agree to push dinner out a couple of hours from when I and the rest of the family would like to have it to accomodate you DON'T BE LATE.

If you tell me you are going to come then COME, do not call me and give me some lame excuse on the DAY OF. Trust me, this means you will never be invited to so much as a goldfish funeral at my house again.

If you decide to be 'sick' on yet another major holiday for which you are expected for dinner DO NOT ask your wife to have a plate of food sent home for you. You're SICK you poor thing, how could you possibly feel like eating? Trust me, it looks bad.

If you are between the ages of 17 and 21 and you feel like going to your boyfriend's house instead of your auntie's on a holiday that she has worked and slaved for days to be ready for so that her family has a nice time, have your sister think up a plausible excuse instead of the bald truth which kind of sends the message "I decided to blow you off".

If you tell me you would like to bring something homemade don't stop at the supermarket on the way over - I could have done that.

Don't show up at my house with uninvited guests we've never met before. Actually, sometimes they turn out to have more manners and be more interesting conversationalists than YOU so maybe I should rethink that one.

/rant

[mrswaz]

My only rule this year:

I do not want to hear from anyone how eating all this food is going to make you fat. Or me fat. The problem with Americans is that we've become so obsessed with what we eat that we can't simply enjoy a celebration together that involves food without thinking the worst of it. I am not going to think you are a pig if you have two pieces of pie or *gasp* a slice of cake in addition to two pieces of pie. One meal- or even a whole day of eating is not going to blow you up two pants sizes for the rest of your life. Loosen your belt a notch and eat up!

Next week when you're going through the drive through for the sixth time in as many days...well, then you can talk about how what you're eating is making you fat and clogging your arteries.

[clairea]

If you accept an invitation to my house for Thanksgiving, please don't send me a long list of your family's "traditional foods" that you just have to have and ask me to be sure to make them, especially if they all involve canned, boxed, preserved yuck. If there is something that is particularly special to you then you are welcome to bring it (although in the past no one has eaten it when you place it alongside all of the homemade food). But don't ask me to recreate your family's traditional Thanksgiving for you. Especially since you are 40 years old and have been married for 10. Other people actually have some traditions they like to follow too.

Please keep your children under control. I do with mine, so please do the same with yours.

Let's keep the dinner table conversation pleasant. While we are all concerned about you, this is not the time we want to hear about your latest medical procedure, a child's recent stomach virus, or sewage leak under your house. I'll be happy to listen another time, but not while I am eating.

I would really appreciate it if you can all refrain from drinking too much. However, if you fail to follow these rules (except for #1, which has already been broken), I reserve the right to drink as much as I want!!

[SusanMac]

Originally Posted by clairea

If you accept an invitation to my house for Thanksgiving, please don't send me a long list of your family's "traditional foods" that you just have to have and ask me to be sure to make them, especially if they all involve canned, boxed, preserved yuck. If there is something that is particularly special to you then you are welcome to bring it (although in the past no one has eaten it when you place it alongside all of the homemade food). But don't ask me to recreate your family's traditional Thanksgiving for you. Especially since you are 40 years old and have been married for 10. Other people actually have some traditions they like to follow too.

OMG - this happened w/me & my sister! It was all I could do to not punch one of them during the 4 day visit! Really? Your husband will really disown you if he has to eat homemade dinner rolls instead of the generic store-brand ones that they don't even sell where you live?? Really?

My neice got sick at her stomach late in the day, after all of the Tday food. The excuse given was that I only had that weird brown mustard instead of yellow mustard that DS typically uses to make deviled eggs. Poor thing! How could I possibly be so inconsiderate of a hostess?

This is a great thread!

[Spotted Pony]

I don't host Thanksgiving; I am a guest at my MILs house.

Dear MIL,

If you say that dinner is at 1:00, I expect that dinner will be at 1:00. I will show up early to put my homemade rolls on the table and help you with any last minute things you need done. Every year, the food is out of the oven at 12:45. Perfect. Now, if we could actually EAT it before 1:45, that would be great. See how everyone mills around the kitchen, looking hungry? It's because they ARE! Put the food on the table and let's eat it already! Cold mashed potatoes are yucky.

Love,

Spotted Pony

And to my own mom:

Dear Mom,

Thanks for teaching me how to prepare a meal and serve it on-time.

Love,

Spotted Pony

[sneezles]

Mine is quite simple since I don't invite any relatives (can't stand most of them so why ruin a perfectly good meal?).

Linger a bit at the table!

[newtricks]

Everyone is fairly well behaved at our T'giving gatherings so I don't have anything that needs correcting. But general rules would be:

- American wines only
- Too many desserts
- Come hungry


I love hosting thanksgiving

[TieKitty]

Originally Posted by sneezles

Mine is quite simple since I don't invite any relatives (can't stand most of them so why ruin a perfectly good meal?).

Linger a bit at the table!

This cracked me up! I wish I had the guts to do that!

[testkitchen45]

These are all great! Mind if I borrow a few?

OK; time to add "rules" to my own thread. Had to give it some thought.

1) To my relative: I have a large house and a housekeeper is not in the budget. I am not complaining; I love my home. But it is WORK to get ready for company, with all the kids home from school (and helping on some things, but creating some messes, too), to get the house all clean at once, the meal all cooked, tables & settings figured out to ensure that everyone has enough table space, and so on. Please appreciate me as a hostess, and help clean up the table after our meal. The football game will be TiVo'd; do not escape to the media room until the cleanup is done. Thanks.

2) I love your child. I am related to your child. My kids love your child and enjoy playing with her. However, I do not want to babysit your child, and it is not my kids' responsibility to spend the day following her around to ensure that she doesn't touch things she shouldn't. It's yours. 'Nuff said.

3) If you find a spot we missed while dusting, please do not run your finger over it and then make a point of examining your finger.

4) Do not rearrange place cards as you did in prior years, thereby ensuring that we had to actually move a fully loaded secondary table to make room for a larger guest. The place cards are there for a REASON, such as saving the nicer chairs for the elderly and the ladies other than me. Please respect me as a hostess (didn't I just say that?), and please respect the other guests.

5) Please speak to our parents with respect while you are in my home. You may be all grown up now, but they are still senior to you and they brought you into this world.

6) Have fun. I'm actually quite excited about Thanksgiving this year b/c it has been the most do-ahead meal I've ever done for T'giving. I am looking forward to talking with you and your family, but in our conversation, could you please show a little interest in our lives, as we do in yours? Would appreciate it.

7) Try all the foods. I'm a good cook; really. No cans were harmed in the preparation of this meal.

[SusanMac]

Originally Posted by testkitchen45

No cans were harmed in the preparation of this meal.

Absolutely love this one!

Newtricks - just curious....why American wines only? Is this just on Tday, or an all-the-time preference for you?

[newtricks]

Originally Posted by SusanMac

Newtricks - just curious....why American wines only? Is this just on Tday, or an all-the-time preference for you?

Just Thanksgiving. It's one of DH's "things". The other 364 days I'll happily drink any wine from anywhere!

[cakebaker]

1. Though everyone at the table is proficient and fluent in English, do not speak another language that only 3 out of 10 people speak and understand. It is rude, awkward and disrespectful.
2. Do not bring your dog...even for a half an hour, or 15 minutes, or 5 minutes, just to 'say' hello. We invited 2-legged guests, not 4. She is untrained, wild and you appear not to be the entity in control. She jumps on our furniture and puts her paws on the table, which is unacceptable behavior. We have our own dog, who is trained but sometimes forgets her manners in a house full of people. So we have our hands full.
3. When you asked if you could bring something and I said "no". Do not bring an elaborate homemade appetizer tray or 5 desserts that I will feel obligated to put out, while mine spoils in the frig.
4. Do not give me dirty looks when I ask the teens-including my own-to take care of the clean up. Afterall, DH has spent hours cleaning the house & I've spent countless hours preparing the food. I think it is not much to ask 4 teens to clear table, scrape dishes, load the dishwasher and clean the table & countertops. FB and Twitter can wait 1/2 hour.

[LakeMartinGal]

Originally Posted by cakebaker

FB and Twitter can wait 1/2 hour.

Amen to this!

[Blissful_in_TX]

Too funny! Mine is pretty simple.......we are good people. We don't get in physical alterations ever, much less the holidays. If our evening ends in punches being thrown and a police report (b/c of all things my DH politely asking your SO to tone down the language in front of the children), maybe that's a sign we shouldn't spend Thanksgiving together. Ever. Again.

Other than that, I'm pretty easy breezy. Though it would be super great if you've been a overnight guest in my house for the prior 2 days (and you're immediate family ) and I've cooked/cleaned up every meal since then, if you'd at least help with some of the basic post-Thanksgiving clean-up. Let me rephrase that - I would be ecstatic if even ONE person offered to help clean up.

[DeeK]

Only one rule to be seated at my table:

Come to my table with a spirit of Thanksgiving. Be mindful of the fact that, if you have a roof over your head, food on your table and friends and family to share it with, you are blessed beyond reason.

Happy Thanksgiving.

[Blissful_in_TX]

Originally Posted by DeeK

Only one rule to be seated at my table:

Come to my table with a spirit of Thanksgiving. Be mindful of the fact that, if you have a roof over your head, food on your table and friends and family to share it with, you are blessed beyond reason.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Very true. Thank you for the reminder - I'm sure many of us will need it to reflect on this season.

But in the spirit of the original post, I thought this quote from "Sliding Doors" is appropriate:
Gerry, I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pi$$ed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary.

[lindrusso]

Originally Posted by mrswaz

My only rule this year:

I do not want to hear from anyone how eating all this food is going to make you fat. Or me fat. The problem with Americans is that we've become so obsessed with what we eat that we can't simply enjoy a celebration together that involves food without thinking the worst of it. I am not going to think you are a pig if you have two pieces of pie or *gasp* a slice of cake in addition to two pieces of pie. One meal- or even a whole day of eating is not going to blow you up two pants sizes for the rest of your life. Loosen your belt a notch and eat up!

I was just going to come to post something similar. My SIL goes on and on and on about how much she's eaten and that she shouldn't have eaten that but that she ate it anyway and how fat her stomach is (she's quite thin and in good shape) and how her stomach has turned into a beast and on and on. Drives me nuts!

So my rule would be - Eat the food or don't - whatever - but please spare us the usual tiresome routine.

Followed by: You are NOT FAT. Please stop saying you are!

[Kiwismommy]

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Have a wonderful time....I hope everyone behaves

Danita

[Cookin4Love]

My newly forged rule:

Don't call at 9:00 Wednesday night and ask what you should bring when you've said from the beginning that your part of the family was going to someone else's house on Thanksgiving. Good thing some of us always cook more than we think we need!

[testkitchen45]

Originally Posted by Cookin4Love

My newly forged rule:

Don't call at 9:00 Wednesday night and ask what you should bring when you've said from the beginning that your part of the family was going to someone else's house on Thanksgiving. Good thing some of us always cook more than we think we need!

You have got to be kidding! The tough part there probably wouldn't be the food, but the table settings. Do you have to scramble & figure out where to put an extra table?

Sheesh. I'm all for having welcoming arms as a hostess, but I like a little notice.

We should all post back to this thread & see if our "rules" were followed.

Happy Thanksgiving, all! Off to start reheating stuff . . .

[Trishinomaha]

Originally Posted by Cookin4Love

My newly forged rule:

Don't call at 9:00 Wednesday night and ask what you should bring when you've said from the beginning that your part of the family was going to someone else's house on Thanksgiving. Good thing some of us always cook more than we think we need!

I feel your panic - I also have acquired three more guests in the last few days - oh well - the more the merrier right? Down to the basement to locate extra dinner ware

[LaraW]

I am happy if everyone at the table sits properly in their chairs and keeps their fingers out of the food. And keeps the food out of places where it does not belong (hair, clothes, carpet, etc.)

But, then, I am happy if those rules are followed every day

[newtricks]

A "rule " that I didn't mention is that if you are bringing something, it should be as ready to go as possible and shouldn't require much from me. Makes sense to me because I've cooked a bunch of stuff and you've cooked one thing. My sister, bless her, just. doesn't. get. this. Seriously, no concept! She can usually be found rushing around causing a commotion in my kitchen while I'm trying to get everything ready, drinks for everyone, etc. etc.

So she called me last night to ask if she could just cook the sweet potatoes at my house. I'm already a little panicked about oven space because this is the first time I've cooked T'giving with just one oven. So I told her no. Nicely though.

[newtricks]

Originally Posted by LaraW

I am happy if everyone at the table sits properly in their chairs and keeps their fingers out of the food. And keeps the food out of places where it does not belong (hair, clothes, carpet, etc.)

But, then, I am happy if those rules are followed every day

Thanks for the chuckle
My kids are 12, 10, and 8 and that's still a good day in my house!

[stefania4]

When you are invited to Thanksgiving dinner, the only appropriate responses are "I'd love to, what time should I be there?" or "we'll be at Bob's mother's house, but thanks for the invitation."

Anything that indicates you're waiting for a better offer is just plain rude.

[Canice]

Originally Posted by stefania4

When you are invited to Thanksgiving dinner, the only appropriate responses are "I'd love to, what time should I be there?" or "we'll be at Bob's mother's house, but thanks for the invitation."

Anything that indicates you're waiting for a better offer is just plain rude.

I agree 100%.

I'll also reiterate something I posted on a TG or Christmas thread last year: If you're inviting a person you think might have no place to be, please consider saying, "I don't know whether you have plans or not, but we'd love it if you could join us" rather than "What are you doing for Christmas dinner?" They don't know it's an invitation rather than a general inquiry, which can be awkward.

[Varaile]

Posted by Sneezles: Linger a bit at the table!

I *thought* I didn't have any rules until after we had dinner #1 with the Bro and SIL. I swear, I had just put down my fork when she leapt up and started clearning off the table! And suddenly, just like that, dinner was over.

Dinner #2 on the other hand, with Sis and BIL, we lingered and talked.


Rule #2 - Dear SIL - Don't continue to make jibes about how Mom or myself said dinner would be at 1:00p, and how it's now 1:15p or 1:30p and the food isn't on the table. Until you learn make a full meal yourself, and serve it, keep your trap shut. > Sometimes the bird/cow/pig just doesn't cooperate. It's not our fault.

(This goes for other meals you are invited to as well...)

[JackieO]

Dear DH and DS:

If it's just the three of us again next year, I'm making reservations, NOT dinner.

Given our last-minute change of plans, I still managed to put a full T-day dinner on the table (with a considerable number of short-cuts, but it still meant I spent about three hours in the kitchen this morning prepping, washing dishes, assembling food, etc.) The two of you sat down at the table while I was still dishing up and putting food out; you had consumed half your meal by the time I sat down to eat. Since the two of you wolf your food, I once again ended up alone at the table finishing my dinner while you went back to the family room to watch the football game. Then, since neither of you are capable of putting away leftovers, I had that lovely chore to complete before DH went to the kitchen to take care of the dishes (cooking-only dishes -- I'm a clean as you go prep cook).

You both raved about what a wonderful meal it was (in my mind, it was a disaster). Thanks.

The only thing good about today was the wine.

Oh, and did I tell you DS asked me about 4 o'clock, "What's for dinner?"