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Thread: 1st birthday party etiquette - what about siblings?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
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    1st birthday party etiquette - what about siblings?

    DH & I (who have no kids, so often need guidelines in this area) are attending my cousin's son's 1st birthday party in a few weeks. They also have a 3 y.o. little girl. We don't live nearby, so this is the first time we've met either of their kids.

    We will obviously get a birthday gift for the boy.

    Should we also bring a gift for the little girl? Is that awkward, or cute, or overboard?

    If we saw them all the time, I would definitely say no to the extra gift. But, I'm not sure in this case. We're visiting other friends on this trip, too, and will probably bring small gifts for their kids, as well (no other birthday parties, just greetings from far away)

    Any advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
    Personally, I would bring a small gift for the sibling, especially since you don't see them on a frequent basis.

    For a 3 year old girl, I often give art supplies like new crayons and large scale coloring books. Also, books are a great gift.

    Cheryl

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I'm sure no gift is "expected" for the girl, but it's such a thoughtful gesture. If you'd like to take the little girl a gift, by all means do. I'm sure it will be appreciated! She's right at that age where she'll love simply having something to open.

    The only thing I'd suggest is to mention to the parents that you have something for her and ask when they think would be a good time to give it to her. For example, if it's important for them that she learn that her brother's party is not a gift occasion for her, then you should be prepared to honor that and give her gift either before or after his party. But chances are, they'll appreciate the thought and have not problem with it at all.
    I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. ~E.B. White

  4. #4
    I would also bring a small gift, and like Robyncz's suggestion of checking with the parents. At 3, the little girl will have a hard time with the fact that her brother is getting lots of attention and gifts, so this will be a kind gesture that will really be appreciated, I'm sure.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Thanks for the great input everyone! I know have a good plan. Of course, I still have to shop, but that's pretty easy at that age.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    I agree that it is a nice sentiment. I have good memories of receiving little gifts on my younger sister's birthday. It helped me feel remembered.

    How about a book? That is my favorite kid's gifts these days.

  7. #7
    I'm going to give a slightly different perspective. I think that it's important for kids to learn that sometimes the day is about someone else. In this instance, it's about the 1 year old. The 3 year old gets to enjoy the celebration, cake, etc. I don't think they should get a present, too. That's what makes it different and special for the little one.

    I realize at this point, the little one couldn't care less about any of this, but as time goes by, I think it's important for EVERYONE to have their own day when they're special.

    JMHO

    mary jo

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    I totally agree with that lesson, MaryMorph. And if we saw these kids all the time, I'd definitely opt out of a gift for the older daughter. But, this is more of a we're-visiting-from-far-away-&-are-excited-to-meet-you gift. It just so happens that it's also her brother's bday. That what made the decision tricky for me.

    There will be about 8-10 other adults at the party. So, hopefully Sophie won't get overloaded with her own gifts on her brother's bday.

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